fatmary

My faith says "stay with him and let me (God) change him". I have a peace about that. There is a burden lifted when we get to a place when you don't need a man in your life to be happy. It took me a lot of years, but I am there. My joy comes from somewhere else, with him or not. But thanks for your kind words!!

I am also a Christian, I am just starting the process. I am borderline as far as just being "fat enough" ...but I have such health issues, especially the sleep apnea. Going to Tufts/New England Medical Clinic. First visit was last week, start the classes next week.

He won't care how it happened, only that it happened. Having a fat wife is his biggest nightmare. I am close to some friends at church, and rather get my support there. Is that so terrible of me?

Okay, here is a new one. I don't want to tell my husband. He hates me being fat, but he also hates all doctors. We don't sleep together except once a week (I am sure you can figure that out) and if I am sick, etc, I can easily go three weeks without him in bed. As you have guessed, we don't have a relationship that is intimate and promotes sharing. We have three kids and we like each other okay, so we stay married. I am not unhappy, it's just the way it is. I travel 50% of the time, most of the time he has no clue what state I am in. My son is 19, and I have confided in him. Thinking of staying at a hotel for a day or two after. Am I crazy? I am just starting the process, surgery would be late January.

That they love...OR that I should avoid?

I hear you ...yes, he thinks I need to lose 60 lbs or so to see this "fixed". The surgery for apnea is actually more painful, harder to recover from and only 60% success rate vs the lapband. Since I also have High blood pressure, had a mini stroke 6 months ago and my feet hurt terribily, my hope is that all these other issues would be addressed with the huge weight loss. It make be a moot point though if I am not obese enough...

Yes, I have lost 30 (last year) and it didn't help at all. Regained the weight short order. The doc does say that dramatic weight loss is the only answer. Seems I am not "obese enough" for this...I hate this. The surergy for apnea is terrible...

May I ask what insurance company you have?

Crap...the sad truth is I could pack on 20 extra pounds with no trouble at all...and I know that is not the right idea. But I will give it a try anyway.

I have Harvard Pilgram and I have not started the battle yet. I am a mere 33 BMI. I have sleep apnea that is so bad that I may be forced to do that surgery--which seems far worse than this one. I had a mini stroke 6 months ago. I have high BP and my feet hurt, really hurt, all the time. Do I have a prayer of getting it covered??

What is the wait time...from the time you make an appointment until they actually do the procedure? Anyone know?

Mary, a fill is when the doc adds saline to the band by placing a needle in your port (it is under the skin, of course), and adding a bit of saline. Once you get a good fill, you will be able to eat less while feeling full (or so I've heard!!) So....how long is the port in?

What is a fill? I am new here too. Trying to decide if this is the way to go for me.

The fact is I know I get 800 cal a day from wine...three glasses in the evening with dinner, watching TV. Ok, yes I know its bad, bad, bad. But how does a lap effect that? Anyone lose a taste for that? Off limits? Tell me there is hope for me as I consider this surgery! M