You Are My Sunshine

This is a tough one. I, too, am curious of the answers. I am pre-op. I was an inch away from getting surgery and cancelled. So I can't speak from experience of actually having the surgery right now. But I do echo the concerns of having my body modified to achieve a result that potentially is not lasting, if that makes sense. Nobody wants to "break their tool." It's hard to measure the true success of something when you can't take in all the variables, so this is a good question to ask of those who have struggled and are out 3+ years from surgery. Having issued eating goes beyond the restriction (or malabsorption) the surgery creates. So yes, it is a serious concern if you are considering the surgery and want lasting results. There's no guarantee that you will have aversions to things post-op that are strong enough and durable enough to "cure" the issue in the first place. Further, if those aversions are attained - will they last or will the desires eventually come back? I'm kind of just brainstorming here with you, not trying to sway you either way. I personally would love to be able to pluck from my brain whatever it is that causes my relationship with food to spiral at times. Have you talked with a psychologist? It sounds like that would be a great place to dig deeper.

Thank you so much! I truly appreciate your thoughtful words. I am using this time between now and my appointment to reflect and think about everything to figure out where I need to go from here, and hopefully get some good conversation with the psych. Can't lie, though, I'm struggling a bit!

Mine as well. I have PCOS and insulin resistance. Was put on Metformin (I was praying it would help me lose weight, it didn't). I lost 40 pounds and was working out, but working out made me absolutely exhausted. If you'd like to get the surgery, and don't think "doing it on your own" is going to bring you the results you need, then it's definitely something to explore. Have you already tried that and gained it back? Sorry if I missed it. I find surgeons and some doctors very difficult to read and therefore interpret, like you have said. Maybe it's another conversation to have with that surgeon if you trust him, OR find another one and see what they say. My surgeon is hot and cold. I trust her surgery skills, but her people skills are a bit different.

Sorry you're dealing with that. Do you live with her? Do you eat with her? Is she overweight? I'm just wondering if maybe there's some codependency there or other relationship issues that are feeding into her not supporting you on a health journey. Is it just the surgery for her or the idea of you losing weight or the fear of changes? Does she not trust in your decision making? Have you made changes already or does she see a pattern of behavior that isn't changing? Lots of questions, lol. Just trying to help you brainstorm to see where this is coming from. It's so difficult when you don't have support, especially from the people close to you.

I really liked Unjury's protein broth (chicken flavor-ish). It was just a savory broth, but also got the protein in. If you can make your own bone broth, that's a win. If you can buy bone broth and add some spices to it, another win. If you go to a restaurant and get some Miso or their house broth - FANTASTIC. I found a local one (SUPER expensive but absolutely divine). Just be careful to strain, if needed. The other thing, I think, is if you have any store bought, you might have to doctor it up. I added garlic, onion, basil... things like that. It made it more tolerable. Best wishes to you!

I think that is one of my considerations. I'm ready tool-wise and education-wise, but I'm not 100% sure of my best result at this time in my life if I were to have complications, and maybe if I were not. I want the focus to be on best time for me for best result, not best time for insurance, or for an age milestone, etc. Not saying that's not workable for others, but I think my support base (internal/external) needs to be a bit wider than it is right now. I'm looking forward to talking with the psych about it. I appreciate the insights others have given here as well!

Yes, the making peace part is BIG. I know I don't want to be where I've been (weight/health/emotionally), and I'm going to keep working on that for sure. Wish you well, hon.

I have an appointment with them next week (set up ahead of time because I wanted the support in case I needed it). I'm not sure. I mean YES... I can't believe I went through all of this only to back out when I was literally almost on the table. But also NO because of how I felt this morning. I'm going to use this time to really evaluate that.

Yes trying to do that. Feeling some shame, disappointment.

@shopgirl Maybe.. I was there so I figured might as well. Fears? Complications. For sure. Fear of getting VSG and having to revise to RNY. Fear of something so permanent and not being able to go back. Like, if something does go wrong, I can't have a "re do." I was panicking thinking of them sucking my stomach out through my belly. I asked in my pre-op if I could pre-medicate and was told no, that they'd give me something in my IV. I told them I might not make it to the hospital. I wasn't joking. My husband was concerned that they wouldn't even operate on me considering I was in a huge panic.

Great question. I worry about the same thing. Surgery in 2 days. I have a sinus issue that's been going on for over a year, and it flares up here and there so I can't always tell if I'm getting sick or not. I was scheduled for surgery earlier this year and ended up having to postpone due to illness (SO glad I was on top of that, would NOT have wanted to recover while being ill). So, I understand the concern.

I started wanting the sleeve, then went to bypass, and am back to the sleeve (my doctor thinks that is the best option for me). At this point, I'm actually kind of terrified of bypass -- I just don't want it. I don't want a revision or anything, I want to steer clear of it. I'm not saying it isn't fantastic for others, not at all. So I worry (maybe weirdly) that having sleeve is opening me up to that possibility in the future.

I was wondering this very same thing - if the pre-op weight loss is indicative of the post-op loss. Appreciate the answers.

This does make sense. I'm now on my last day of the pre-op. Tomorrow I drink some sugary drinks and clear liquid. The sugary drinks are supposed to kick you out of ketosis. It's weird now today I was just trying to enjoy my protein drinks as a "last meal" since tomorrow it's changing again. I'm still pretty nervous. Re-reading this post. Trying to focus on the good stuff. Still wondering what I'm thinking with the stomach removal, though. Worries are mostly about my new insides and that I don't want to end up with a revision. I don't have to worry about a revision if I don't have the surgery.

So I'm on the 11th day of my pre-op. It's going OK, have not strayed or anything, but I keep having intrusive thoughts (or maybe logical thoughts) that I should bail. Not because I have a better way or think I can lose it on my own, but because cutting out half my stomach inviting in possible unknown complications and more stress into my already complicated life seems pretty irrational. Fear of the unknown is in every corner. I could have issues in other areas of my life arise, and would have to deal with them as they come. But this seems like an unnecessary venture - at least that's what 1/2 my brain is telling me. The other half is excited and thrilled with the idea of feeling better in my own skin, continuing working on a healthier relationship with food, and getting to a new normal that is satisfying. Literally telling people about the surgery, my husband has off, I've got my protein, my physical being is proceeding forward as if this is going to happen, That's my plan, at least. But then a part of me just wonders why I don't just DO that without surgery. Work a healthy path of eating, etc. I may not lose as much weight, but I can continue on the path of healthier relationship without surgery and without inviting the unknown complications in. I realize this is probably part of the mental battle. And maybe it's harder because I'm pre-surgery. Post, I wouldn't have the option of deciding on surgery or not, just to move forward and work on the food/emotions/etc. I had surgery scheduled for May, but got sick and had to delay. Part of me wondered if that was actually serendipity/God/fate letting me know that it wasn't for me. There was relief, but also sadness. Regardless, I stuck with the program. I've learned healthy habits, and learned a lot about myself through the program, honestly. But my weight hasn't really changed because of it. Just my head. Did anyone else get cold feet? Sometimes I hate my brain!

This whole process has taken me a while. A few years ago I was looking into it (again) and insurance didn't cover. I kept calling every year to see if things changed. Last year they had! I had previously done an "intake" of sorts, just in case they did cover (as advised) and I'm glad I did because I would have been on quite a waiting list as well. I was able to skip ahead quite a bit because I was in the system. Beyond that, the program for the surgery is six months. After finishing that, I got pneumonia 1 week into my pre-op diet. My surgery was off. I got scheduled again, and got postponed again, and now I'm on my third date, which is in a few days. It's all been pretty frustrating and mentally quite the challenge. A six-month process has taken me well over a year, lol. It's given me more time to prepare, but also more time to worry. I wish I were farther in the healing stage right now, but then I also maybe I'm just right where I need to be? Hope you get some positive movement forward soon. Hang in there.

@catwoman7 Same here with all of the attempts. My last real one was quite a bit back, and I lost a significant amount, but I did put it back on. I don't see myself getting there again without this support (surgery). I need the extra tools in my box, so to speak. I'm in that same boat (which is why I'm here, haha). Very true... I'm working on managing that! Thanks.

Thank you for your thoughtful post. Right now I'm scouring through the "NSV" thread that was quoted above, and my heart is letting some joy come in thinking of these things. Having lost some weight before, I can recall how GOOD some of them felt. So freaking GOOD! Congratulations on your being thisclose to the twos as well. I never thought I'd see 300 again, and I did just before my pre-op diet. That, also, was a reminder to me of where I've been, how far I've come, and where I want to be a couple years from now. ♥️

Thanks, I'll check that thread out 👍🏽

I started telling a few people like brother-in-law and sis-in-law. I don't have the strength for secrets right now. They ask for too much creativity, lol. I'm not posting it on Facebook or anything, but my husband will be off work and his brother and his dad both stop by there; it would be hard for him not to give an explanation of why he's off for two weeks or not available for other things. I don't want to hear anyone's crap, either. So it's a balance. If someone thinks I'd hang in on a program for 1 year wait, drink liquids for 2 weeks for something that I hadn't thought through, that's their problem.

Haha, we will see. I actually GAINED weight one day, and then stayed the same today. I swear. I hope my liver is nice and small, 'cause the scale can be a devil.

Today was weirdly hard because I just wasn't hungry. Had to kind of force myself to drink and eat some stuff. Probably could use another shake, but I'm tired and want to go to bed. Jello has been good. One more week... then another couple weeks, lol.

Hello! NOVEMBER 9 for me. I was scheduled earlier this year, but illness delayed me for a bit. It was frustrating then, but I'm over it now. As much as I'm going to miss the holiday "norms" I do love this time of year, and have other things to enjoy, so that helps. I'm on a 2 week liquid diet (shakes, broth, jello, popsicles). Day 4 and I feel pretty eh. I made it through a week of the liquid diet last time, so it's not really "new" but I feel more bored with it this time around, if that makes sense. It's all mental games, so I'm trying to remember that and use it as experience for post-op mental games. Super nervous about the actual surgery (never had surgery before), and having somewhat irrational fears about it. But the excitement is also building.

Goodness, gracious that's a lot to deal with, hon, I'm sorry. I'm not dealing with divorce but I have other life stressors that I'm trying to learn to deal with. They aren't going to magically disappear anytime soon, and I'd like to have the surgery sooner than later. So I'm working with a psychologist and trying to find ways to cope that aren't bad for me. But it ain't easy. Hugs.

July 20. I've had to reschedule 3x now, so I have this skeptical feeling, but that's my date!