bermy

118 lbs now Rockin!

JJ the whole next year will feel surreal.You didnt say how much you have to loose but if you are anything like me you will watch those lbs fall away. Exercise dont get lazy, and try not to eat when you know darn well youre not hungry. Good Luck and God's Speed. My life feels so altered in so many good ways

Well some of it was physiological and some of the reasons were psychological. I changed jobs 12 years ago and just stopped moving. I went from the computer to my easle, and from my easle to my bed. Even though I wasn't moving much at all I was still getting hungry and still eating what I loved at age 16, junk food. So I got fat, then fat became all I could remember being. I dont think its so deep or profound really. We all like the known and man dont we know fat !? So soon soon soon we shall know thin! Amen, let the church say Amen !

Well therapy or no, I'm not carrying this weight another year. I would have never imagined that I would have done this well in a year. Hey guys , just one more year and Im there for sure. If after that I still need a shrink then hell I'll find one ! just cause Im sad for the old Bermy ( Ive known her so long, kept her secrets, and kept her company), dosent mean Im not happy to meet the new one . I want to go shopping with her and I even want to get over the excitment and become so accustomed to the slim one that I dont think about weight any more! Ahhhhh now thats a thought !

Amen Ret ! And may the Force be with you !

LISA Ive had about 4 fills now and this is the first time Ive had that growl sort of strange sound lol coming from my throat ! If I take a deep breath sometimes it happens. Ive been trying to see if I can control it and make it happen at will, but no, so I dont supose I can demonstrate it for the DOc,but dang its very strange isnt it?!

Thank you Vineswoman and Photonut, "Each in His Own Way" is presently on exhibit at the Bermuda National Gallery until September, just in case you're in town ! LOL

Youre gonna be just fine Warmmoring sun. And youre going to embark on a journey of a lifetime, better than any vacation...with every pound you loose you will feel beter and beter. You wont fail after surgery. I wondered about that too. I remember thinking "supose I'm one of those who dosent loose" but you will. Good luck to you !

Thank you for your gracious compliments. Feel free to visit my site www.sharonwilsonart.com there are both open edition and limited editions there

Well I was enjoying loosing and i still am. What I wasnt ready for was this sudden sense of loosing all I can remember. I do believe that Im a little disappointed in myself for this VERY STRANGE emotion. Imagine in another year I will have adjusted Im sure and then I shall become and look like all the other people. I will be the only one who will remember that I was fat. I wont be "fighting against" fat or attitudes and such anymore. NOW THAT WILL BE STRANGE ! I like the way I look. There is not even as much loose skin as I envisioned .....but liking the way I look is not the same as knowing how to be normal with it. I think I even feel sad for all the years......melancholy perhaps is a better word....or maybe not. But I sat there not really believing that even though I can loose 20 or 30 more lbs, I know I look good now so in many ways this IS the end of one road and the begining of another. This one was so much more painful then even I knew. Thats what all these feelings are all about. They are about letting it all go, and realizing just how much that fat bothered me. You all never "saw" yourselves as fat huh? well I was trying to be a better artist better everything else just to compensate for the fat and now I dont have to anymore. Can you see how thaqt might leave a person feeling very strange...... and excited, but right now just very quiet and reflective Soon fat thoughts will have to give way to more important stuff... I once heard Sogyal Rinpoche say that we live many life-times in one life time, you know what? I believe it

All the best to you . You'll be fine just focus on why you're doing it. You are about to embark on a new and exciting adventure. I wish you all I wish myself. Come back and tell us all about it. I remember how I felt I went to Switzerland from Bermuda. I was so excited I didnt have room for doubt ! Best, Bermy

Evening Concert - pastel on paper 2005 Sharon Wilson August In Bermuda pastel on paper Sharon Wilson

April 2005 and May 2006 It's amazing how old fat makes you look isn't it?

How much do you want to loose Rett?

Well Good Luck to You Rett and welcome to the world of normal weight ! Kiss the Pepsi's goodbye ! not for a long time but forever ! None of it really matters, you are about to enter a very interesting journey. I wish you God's speed, safe journey... keep us in touch

Well its been a year and still most mornings nothing stays down... geez It seems like I should be skiny by now considering what I can't tolerate any more.. chips, corncurls,muffins, cake, cornbread,any bread !, rice, pasta sometimes, all meats, pancakes, most fruit... but I am missing one or two molars and that might account for the difficulty. I lived for quite a few months on good old fashioned soups. I made lots of them, pureed them and had a cup whenever I was hungry. And you know I think that was perhaps a very healthy thing. Having said I cant eat pasta, I did have some today with no problem. Its all very odd, but Ive learned to just go with the flow. I do find it stressful when I go out to dinner though. I dont know what it is but I always have problems when I'm out with others eating. I want a drink but I know that will mess me up with eating.... I try not to eat too fast but I always have to visit the bathroom at least once, but now that I think of it I think that often when I'm out to dinner I am not necessarily hungry but I still eat. You make a date for dinner at 7pm but yr not really hungry but geez that never stopped me before lol ........ I used to want food as soon as I smelled it, and part of me still does. So I try not to make dinner dates. If im near a restaurant when Im hungry , fine I'll go in but otherwise Im not bothering at least thats how I feel now.

current photos 14months post op #1 pre op #2 Dec 2005 #3,4,5 May 14, 2006

Yeah Angie that greasy food can definately do it !

Okay TMZ take it easy, Its been a year for me and still the easiest time for me to eat is after 7pm. Sometimes its a bit of a bother cause then I have to stay up later thean Id like so that I dont have reflux. I eat when Im hungry but if it dosent all stay down often its because perhaps the food is too rich or Im just determined to eat what I want and not paying attention to what my body wants these days. Try simpler foods, like soups and yogurts, at least for a while and pay attention to if you REALLY are leaving enough time between eating and drinking, I find I need at least an hour, and that can feel like a very long time Good Luck

You mean you were eating and drinking ? Do you do that often Strawarts? And if you do why do you suppose they advise against it? I have occassionally done it, too thirsty to wait the required time, the food always is returned in a matter of seconds. You got away with it, now you feel entitled to continue. Hey if it all worked like that, what would be the point of it all ?! If you can eat it all...... Im floored... Geez Strawarts everybodys tip toeing around you saying "poor you "...... lol I bet you try it again There ain't no magic sister !

Well there are no Cold Stone Stores in my part of the world but i must say if ever I pass one when next I am in the U.S. I will definately weigh in on this debate.....now see what you all have done?!!

Well you know Photo Nut this view of the new person sort of popped out at me just a week or so ago which sounds rediculous I know. Still it is true. I knew the weight was going but maybe the inches were lagging, then all of a sudden I trully saw a huge difference. And I want to shout but then you cant do that too much around your fat friends can you ? and I swear skiny folks just dont understand. So I look at myself which I'm sure on some level is very healthy since I spent so many years avoiding myself I dont control portions well either but whenever I binge that food never stays down anyway. Im thinking that maybe my body dosent like it quite so much even though my tongue certainly does lol. But alas ! old habits are hard to break. Having confessed that, I know that in spite of all, my eating habits have improved a lot this year. And Im not into beating myself up for wanting or eating food. Im just finding a new way to not have my whole world revolve around the thought of food whether I'm eating it or trying to avoid eating it. Thats what I meant when I said that really looking at myself alone where I can take my time and not have to 'play down" this huge happeing in my life is as much a treat as eating lol. You know you dont want to appear to be bragging around fat friends ( even though they could go out and do what we did) but damn I feel like shouting from the rooftop ! And that's a fact !

Guys I think I'm going to revise my goal weight. 30 more pounds might be too much more to loose, especially if my neck starts to look drawn. I know that this weight is still obese in fact morbidly obese but Id need to loose 40 more bls to be correct weight and even my doctor said thats probably too much. I vow not to get carried away with this weightloss thing though. Next thing you know I'll have to start looking for a plastic surgeon ! -106 lbs

In my mind I still love sweets, but after a year of being banded I am finding that my tendency to shovel in large quantities makes me feel ill. I still try to eat those once-loved goodies, I really do miss them but like cigarettes they dont really have that good taste much anymore. The problem is, nothing has replaced that empty-comfort spot. I love the smell of bread baking but I cannot tollerate eating bread, except the crusts and only if I eat it very slowly. But there is an upside to it all. I was in the gym last week and as I passed the mirror I did a double take, a tripple take. My body is not recognizable even to me. Its been so many many years......I go to sleep thinking ...I can feel my pelvic bone..... I'm writing and I suddenly look at my wrists and they look so normal and slim....I look at my arms and legs.who is this woman? No. seriously. Im spending so much time just looking at myself, seeing how much space surrounds me when I look down at the space I do not fill in my chair. My face looks different, more youthful, I spend as much time looking at myself as I used to spend avoiding the view. Who cares about icecream really? I mean I eat it but boy to look at ones self in such a new child-like way, do you know what I mean? Not trying to be this sexy thing, its really not about that. Sometimes Im walikg a hill and I realise that I might not feel like walking but I CAN walk without huffing and puffing and then I feel myself smiling and I am aware that I am the happy person I've wanted to be for so many years. Hell , who cares about the icecream, really?? I just wanted to say this to someone. I wanted to say if I dont loose another lb, I look good in my clothes now, I fit very comfortably on an airplane seat, when I enter a room I dont wonder if the chair will hold be, I can fasten my shoe without being winded, my bottom looks normal. Everytime I see myself I am reminded that the lap band worked, part of me always wondered if it would work. I guess I tried it out of desperation, but I had doubts. I have now lost 106 lbs I think. Now I am watching the inches melt away that's why I sort of dont recognize myself. Seems like every lb I loose now is even more noticable.The sweat pants I wore all winter have been thrown away. I gave the last of my big clothes away, my closet is empty. Part of me wants to run out and shop but even that I have found VERY traumatic. Ive gone to the stores but I dont know how to shop anymore. I avoided doing that too. Never able to find the color and style I wanted or worse finding it and looking horrible in it, but hey that's okay too. I'm just taking it slow, trying not to bore my family (smile) but I'm telling you I am doing one heck of a lot of smiling these days , at odd times, whenever I remember or cross my legs.... To all of you out there who are at the begining of this journey I wish you every success

how do u put yr pic at the top of each post ? Plz help