I understand the fear we all get scared and nervous. This is a huge life change and commitment. It’s so important that you realize your worth having a long healthy life. Your missing out on a lot and no one wants to live in constant pain. I know you can do both if you really work at it. Just think after the surgery you will have more energy more confidence and way less pain in your back. I hope you have the surgery. It will change your life for the better.