The Greater Fool

Because I was too large for weighing on a normal scale I didn't know my actual weight until I went for my first appointment with the surgeon. During the whole process I could only weigh at my Doc's office and post-op it was on my monthly follow-ups. It was amazingly freeing. I didn't, couldn't, allow the scale to impact my progress, my attitude, or my program. I just worked my program. At about 7-8 months post-op I hit the milestone of being able to weigh on a home scale. But, because I have moderately severe OCD I could see myself weighing all the time, so I purposely stayed off of it, still just waiting for monthly follow-ups. When the follow-ups ended I only weighed at my annual physicals. Those first 7-8 months set my program as my new normal. I just did it with little outside feedback except for the monthly weigh-in which was a terrific positive feedback. I never had [or was aware of] that early stall that freaks so many people out and tempts them to adjust the program because the scale didn't move or moved the wrong way. I was never aware of any stalls so was never tempted to change my program. Everyone has their path to success. Follow YOUR program not ours.

If it helps, I was confident I was going to be rejected right up until my Doc wished me luck after our pre-op talk and we began our separate trips into the OR.

When I decided to have RNY I had to prove I was obese for 5 years. I got my records from my PCP hoping they noted something about my weight since I was too large to be weighed and avoided cameras like the plague. "Super Morbidly Obese" kept popping up. It was the one and only time I was happy to see those words. I felt the same as you that why would anyone want to be intimate with a man who had a 1/4 ton extra weight. Feeling this way sex was not something I pushed. I also stopped pushing because I didn't like hearing "no" so much. Which I understood completely... and unreasonably resented. We worked on these issues but everything came back to one key issue: I was extremely fat. After surgery we continued to work through issues and unreasonable resentments, both ways. I recommend this. After surgery I was very excited when my weight reached "morbidly obese" then "obese", "overweight", "normal". I'm now in overweight and it is appropriate for my body. Sex issues changed mostly for the positive. Good luck Tek

I never actually worried about finding foods that were on my plan. Virtually every restaurant has protein. Their portions don't matter because I eat MY portions. If it's really good, I'll take it home for another meal or three. Over the years I've learned I might as well leave it on the plate because I end up throwing it away when it starts smelling bad anyhow. You have to understand why your plan is your plan. If you do you'll be able to pick food that is on your plan. A problem with asking "What can I eat?" here is that all of our plans are different. Most of what people say they eat or drink here are not on my plan.

I don't miss kids (and adults) bumping in to poles, walls, or other people because of staring at me. Tek

I sneeze when I've eaten enough. Not usually when I drink. Heck, I take a handful of meds morning and night, and I often sneeze after I take them. This is not at all uncommon.

Hello. Reading of your cold toes that hurt caught my attention as this has become particularly problematic for me of late (18 years post-op). The pain is enough to wake me from a sound sleep some nights. Like all early post-ops I recall being cold in the first 6-12 months. I don't recall specifically if it was more so in my toes then so I assume not. This is caused by massive reduction in calories/nutrients while losing gobs of nice, warm, insulating fat. It usually self resolves eventually. I don't have Raynaud's syndrome. I don't have the characteristic discoloration that precedes/accompanies it. I have always had balance issues and have broken every toe more times than I can count or recall over my 60+ years so I chalked cold/achy toes to that mostly. In my reading I learned Raynaud's is found in obese people. I didn't look at the stats on how frequent it is among the obese so not sure if 'common' applies. At a guess I think a lot of WLS folks may have been obese before surgery. If it is 'common' in obese folks it will be 'common' in WLS folks. Dietary changes/reduction and stress can cause Raynaud's, which again is textbook WLS. Plus cold climates like New Hampshire in winter increase risk. There are also lifestyle choices like smoking, or side effects of some other diseases. But, in researching Raynaud's for your post it reminded me of issues for me that can cause or allow the symptoms: I have a tendency toward anemia which can cause cold digits so I've upped my iron. This may be something to review. My heart Doc just prescribed a beta blocker about the time my toes started getting problematic. In my reading today (thanks to you) I found they can cause cold toes. Since my heart is a tad more important I may have to suffer through this bit. The cold is an effect of constricted blood vessels which can be caused by some drugs and relieved by others. So I suggest you do a deep dive into your medications. Mayo has a good article. Good luck.

Once a year at my annual physical. Good luck, Tek

I'm new here, first post. I'm a guy, had RNY in 2003. Before surgery I binged because of OCD. In 17 years there is too much to even summarize. My OCD has had several serial outlets over the years. I've been happy with my weight for 15(?) years. My pouch is still post-op size, still works, still looks the same it did right after surgery. My plan is perhaps different than most folks. I never counted calories, carbs, or much else. Initially focus was on protein. 3 meals per day. I look forward to getting to know folks. Some folks may remember me as Tek back when, elsewhere.

41 pounds first month. Average 20 the next 3. Tek

I've never purchased a 'bariatric' product in my life. 'Bariatric' is never on the label as it adds cost but no benefit. The few supplements I use I just buy the bog-standard version from, usually, Walgreens when I am picking up prescriptions. I could probably pay less at Amazon, but it's usually a matter of thinking of it because I see it. Just my ever so humble opinion. Tek

For my open RNY I had a drain, and I had 2 after my abdominoplasty. O my gawd, in both surgeries I was stapled from stem to stern and it was the drain sites that killed me. Evil things drains are. 10 days of evil. Worse, the tape around where the drains came out wouldn't stick, so the drain kept pulling against the incision. I got super surgical tape and it wouldn't stick. Nothing rational would stick. In frustration I tried duct tape. Thank you duct tape. Once I found the duct tape, is was easy to keep the drain from pulling. Just thinking of it now makes the memory of the pain better. Fortunately, having learned duct tape worked so well after the RNY I had it ready for the TT. Good luck and remember: This too shall pass. Tek

You know, if you eat healthy and never over eat then the VSG won't do much for you. The whole point of the VSG is to keep you from overeating which you don't do. Odd, that. But, it makes me wonder why you took exception to the whole NO starches thing. Again, a healthy eater would understand those issues. Oh well, you have it under control. Good luck, Tek

So, how good were you pre-op at 'making healthy choices?' I'm betting not great since you had the VSG. Before you get to far along you really need to educate yourself on what 'healthy choices' actually means. You also need to focus on the volume of those healthy choices. I mean, sure, it would be great if my surgeon told me I just needed to make good choices. But, he grasped that perhaps I didn't know and/or I would rationalize what I wanted. The Doc that told you NO Rice, NO pasta, NO bread, NO crackers, NO sugar is dead on. Unless you can explain how those actually are "healthy choices?" Those "NO" foods are the BEGINNING of healthy choices. Why your laid-back Doc would think we know what 'healthy choices' are escapes me. The other Doc is the one you want to listen to, if your goal is to lose weight and keep it off. Really, it's all up to you and what you want. Choose wisely. Good Luck, Tek

You say you are able to eat more than you should. There is only one way you can know this and that is you are eating more than you should. You are not compelled to eat until you can't eat. As time moves on the more you eat the more you will be able to eat. So, focus on your plan. Only put the volume of food on your plate that your plan calls for. Choose wisely and keep your volume where it should be. The VSG only get's you so far, the rest is up to you. These first months you are relearning new habits. Be sure you learn the correct habits. Success is up to you. Good luck, Tek

Congratulations! Keep it up. Tek

Welcome to the forums. Wow, aren't you having a rough time. First of all, don't give up. You can't give up. It's up to you to take care of you and advocate for you. You need to be the squeaky wheel. Stop going to the Docs telling you to live with it. I can't believe any doctor would say this. It seems they are more focused on not being blamed than fixing the problem(s). Find new Docs that will work to figure this out. In fact, I would get a set of Docs that can review what has been done and how your surgeries may have contributed. A lot of new information has come out about ulcers in recent years. Make sure you get a Doc that is up on it. I am not a Doc. I believe there is a solution out there. You need to believe it too. You may not be getting good results from the Dilaudid. It is time released and those don't always work so well for Bypass folks. It's a MAYBE thing, so if you feel it's working ignore this. Did you have any of these issues before you had surgery? Where are the ulcers? Are they in the bypassed stomach? In the pouch? In the intestines? Educate yourself so you can challenge your Docs. Look at any over the counter drugs you may be taking. Some OTC drugs contain things that might be problematic for Bypass folks. Such as NSAIDs. Look at OTC things that contain multiple ingredients, check each active ingredient. Check the side effects. If you haven't started already, log your food and drink. Time, quantity, location, company, mental attitude. There may be a connection the Docs can make between your log and your symptoms. Again, if you give up you can't find a solution. You must keep going, keep working at it, keep advocating for you. If you don't do it, who will? Good luck, Tek

Congratulations on making it through surgery. Stay focused and stay on plan. In the first few months its almost impossible not to lose weight. Whether you stay on plan or not, whatever you do you are getting the feedback of losing weight. You are building what will be your new habits. Make sure they are the right habits. You will need them. Good luck, Tek

Really, all those questions are best directed to your Doc who can provide actual answers that apply to you and your situation. Good luck, Tek

Welcome to the forums. Mostly wanted you to know you're not being ignored. I haven't had similar or comparable experiences. But, if your surgeon and PCP are on board I think you will be OK. I'm a few short years shy of 68. If I had to have my RNY again I'd do it in a heartbeat. If the surgeon is on board, and all the tests they do to make sure you can make it through surgery come back OK, then I think you'll be OK. Shedding those extra pounds will make your many remaining years easier. Good luck, Tek

Congratulations! Awesome job. Tek

Welcome to the forums. You face the same issues and challenges we all did. You face the same options. At 23 weight loss surgery wasn't even on my radar. If I considered it at all I would have rejected the idea. Once I did hear about it I was completely opposed to it until I was 43. I believed I could do it on my own as laughable as that idea was. Then, WLS information came at me sideways and I realized it could be for me. The rest is WLS history, I am the stuff of legends now. WLS if done correctly is for the rest of your life. This means your new food plan, whatever it is, is forever. If you are thinking that once you lose your weight you'll be able to return to 'normal' eating then know that your 'normal' life now would come with it. Eventually, you will be able to eat anything once in a while. Unless you've learned your good habits in the weight loss phase, you'll return to your old habits if you are not very careful. Be sure you are ready for the commitment. Good luck, Tek

Welcome to the forums. You need to stick with your program. If you are worried about stretching your pouch then you already know you could be doing better on that score. There is nothing someone here is not eating and in volumes too large for a sustainable plan. But, you also don't know if they are going to be successful at losing and/or keeping their weight off. You need to work your plan the way you know you should. You are building your habits that you will need for the rest of your life. I'm 17+ years post-op. I never cared what other people could or couldn't eat. You can do it. Really. Good luck, Tek

Welcome to the forums. Don't think of whatever you do until you get your revision as a diet. You and I know that diets don't work. Think of it as your new eating plan that you will do for the rest of your life. Your band restricted portion size. Presumably you also had an eating plan to go with the smaller portion size. Return to the plan and return to portion size as best you can. Your plan was supposed to be for the rest of your life so get back on board. Your insurance is as likely to pay for your revision as it would if you never had surgery in the first place. Do the best you can. If you give up on your plan until you have surgery, well, then you very well may gain your weight back. Good luck, Tek

I'm a little late to the party, but... Return to your plan. Returning to plan isn't sexy, it isn't fast, but you already know it works. You already know dieting doesn't. Diet's end then you return to bad habits. Your plan is forever. Good luck, Tek