The Greater Fool

Physically your surgery should be healed well enough to eat or drink just about anything in 6 weeks. Virtually every dietary restriction after this point is about nutritional goals not protecting your surgery. Everyone says something different because our surgeon's programs say different things. Rule of thumb is to follow your surgeon's program. Picking and choosing from different programs effectively means you are no longer on a program, so be careful not to fall into this first trap. Many of us have had to change our relationship with food. In my family food was a central aspect of celebrations. In fact whenever anything went good we ate to celebrate. When it went bad we ate to commiserate. We ate in joy and sorrow, triumph and tragedy. Learning to deal with these emotions without food or drink was quite a change. This doesn't mean that food or drink can never be a part of these events, just that food or drink does not need to be the focal point. How you approach this early post-op period will set the foundation for your future with food and drink. We each have different goals and with those come different actions. Make sure your actions are in line with your goals. Good luck, Tek

I've done the type of fine dining that serves 6 to 12 pre-defined courses. I've found there are two strategies: 1) If most everything is appealing, which for me is rare anyhow, I just eat a byte or two of each course. Courses in this situation aren't much anyhow; 2) If several of the courses are simply not appealing, I eat a byte or four of each course in which I am interested. Since about 6 months post-op I've had enough experience to have a good feeling for both how much of what I can and should eat, with occasional surprises. So I can usually anticipate how much fine dining or rough dining I can accomplish. Just remember when you get back that vacations and special occasions are the rare exceptions. Good luck and enjoy. Tek

Continue with the guidance both physical and psychological that you need. Keep at it one day at a time. Do your own research. Good luck, Tek

This is a traditional message board. You ask your questions and anyone that has information shares it. There are years of questions and answers available where you can learn questions you never thought to ask. Good luck, Tek

Obviously, our first answer should be "ask your doc." Assuming you've done that... For me, post-op I take what I've learned works for over the years. Basically I stick with what worked pre-op: Nyquil at night. during the day for coughing/sneezing Benadryl, Robitussin, or my typical allergy stuff can often cover it. For body ache most NSAIDs do well though narcotics are generally better. I can't do Tylenol. In the first couple months post-op one must consider a surgery that is in the early stages of healing. Nyquil or syrups would not have been doable. I would have had to stick to pills or plain toughing it out as was the answer to a lot of things in the first couple months. Before folks jump to their "it's on the do not take list" my doc has no such list. My doc prefers to deal with patients as if they were unique individuals with individual requirements. This individual care is why we have Docs in the first place. Good luck, Tek

18 Years post-op. I don't really focus on weight gain / loss nor my plan. I'm pretty much on autopilot for such things. At my last medical appointment I was at the top of 'normal' BMI. That's more or less where I've been most of the time. The novel coronavirus hasn't really impacted my life other than hair cuts. I need a hair cut. Oh, the pandemic did kill a few vacations, so looking forward to those starting back up. Good luck Tek

I am a desert creature. Tek

Then we could approach this from the other side... Why would an easy way that works necessarily be bad? It's not 'real' weight loss if it doesn't involve suffering? Good Luck, Tek

WLS is a different hard way. Good luck, Tek

Exercise for it's own sake is boring. BORING. As such, I've never cared to sustain 'working out.' Even when I was much younger and decent shape I didn't do gyms. Hated it. But participating in sports I enjoyed. Games are fun, gyms not so much. When I had my surgery we lived in Las Vegas. My surgery was open (cut open stem to stern then a drain for a couple weeks) so doing much of anything wasn't going to happen. Heck, breathing barely happened because any movement was painful. Thinking of breathing was slightly less painful. Once the tubes and staples were removed we began doing all sorts of people watching and walking. The first walk I was able to make it perhaps a hundred or so meters. As time moved on and weight moved off we were walking up to 10 miles up and down the strip or wherever else we walked. Still, exercise for it's own sake was not in my plans. When I got down to a weight that began with 2-- I had an abundance of energy and thought it would be interesting to see if I could do the 'couch to 5k' program to see if I could run 5k. I had no intention of doing more than accomplishing the goal. When I managed running the 5k I found it was enjoyable. As running became part of my daily routine I found it gave me time to ponder the day ahead and to listen to audio books. A few times I tried hitting the treadmill in the gym. I did everything identical to running outside and it was pure torture. Hated every step. The gym felt crowded and I felt on display whereas outside I felt free and alone. So, I never did 'work out' in a gym. Do what you enjoy. If you like it you will do it. It's your life do it your way. Good luck, Tek

Your surgery is nowhere near your bowels. Fret not. Good luck, Tek

I have never ordered a child's menu item. Generally, children's items are geared to children's tastes. I didn't even care for them when I was a child. They are not designed for folks on strict healthy nutritional plans. I order what I want that satisfies my plan. I eat the volumes according to my plan. Leaving food on the plate is not the sin most of us seem to think it is. The cards you can get that explain you had surgery and asks for child portions are nonsense, in my opinion. My spouse naturally eats small portions so why should she be not able to present a card also? Or anyone on a diet? Why should *WE* get special treatment while dieters don't? Good luck, Tek

My scale recommendation: The new and improved No-Scale. It's free, takes up no room, does not give inconsistent numbers. Additionally, you will not get frustrated by numbers that are too high or simply refuse to change. I credit my No-scale with my apparent lack of stalls allowing me to focus on following my plan. My No-scale never tempted me to 'change things up' to get a new number on the scale. Get the No-scale today! You will be glad you did! Good luck, Tek

I guess around your stage if I counted calories, which I didn't and haven't but once post-op, 8-900 would not have been a bad guess. As you heal and recover it will be easier to eat. It's will eventually be often up to you to stop before you feel full, which is why you have a meal plan. My plan was and has been 3oz protein, 1oz veggies 3 times a day. Once, about 2 months post-op, I was curious about calories and it was about 1200 calories. Before and since I don't count anything but my previously mentioned meals. I either stop eating when my pouch says to stop or when I hit my previously defined meal size, whichever comes first. Exceeding either is ALWAYS a mistake I've learned through much discomfort to avoid. 18 years later, my limits are pretty much where they were a couple months post-op, and sometimes as quixotic. I stick to my plan about 90% of the time. At this point I can handle most things to some extent. Moderation in all things, including moderation. If you don't push your limits your limits won't change much. At least mine haven't. Good luck, Tek

Walking is pretty much all I did for the first few hundred pounds. By the time I got to 100 pounds overweight my spouse and I were walking miles a day people watching in various places. At about that time I set myself a challenge to see if I could run 3 miles in 30 minutes, which I did in about a month. Shock of shocks I discovered that I enjoyed running. I kept increasing my distance until I eventually ran 5 marathons. Do what you like. Who knows where it will lead you? Good luck, Tek

Enough? Depends on your goals. I NEVER did weight training. Never will. As much as some people seem to love it, I hate it. Everything thing about it. But then again I have enough muscle to do what I want without weight training. Weight training is not necessary to reach and maintain a weight goal. Good luck, Tek

I was a 6'3" guy with a quarter ton to lose when I had surgery and lost 40ish in the first month, then 20ish the next 3. Try not to compare with others as it can create problems for you and your mental attitude. Good luck, Tek

You really need to discuss with your surgeon. On a website like this you'll discover there is nothing someone has not eaten or done on the day after surgery. Good luck, enjoy the rollercoaster. Tek

I don't think I had more than a sip or two of wine for the first year or two. Now that I ponder it I probably don't do much more than that even now. Except of vacation. I drink fruity drinks in the mornings. Less fruity drinks in the afternoon. A couple glasses of Cognac after dinner. I've had RNY and the all the phases of how alcohol affects me move pretty quickly. My next vacation is in September. Really looking forward to it. Corona killed three vacations, so it won't be getting a Christmas card this year.

Let's not conflate not telling with lying. No one here is saying that not telling is lying. People are saying lying is lying. Personally, I would call a purposely misleading half-truth lying also, but that's me. I'm not judging anyone for lying. We all do it. Anyone who says they don't are proving the point. So... Why is not answering so hard and a lie so easy? As somewhat a people pleaser when I was much younger, not responding to a direct question seemed like I was creating a conflict. I felt people would be upset with such a non-response. A lie was easier as there was no conflict and life went on. I forget why I didn't want to do this lie anymore but I got past the discomfort of not responding. Now I'm downright stoic.

I've gone the opposite direction. My wedding ring started falling off and I almost lost it a few times. It couldn't be resized because there were 3 different golds, so I just put it on my key ring. I went through a couple basic replacement rings until each in turn started falling off. On our 35 anniversary last year my spouse gave me a new, wonderful wedding band that fits. She keeps the old one in her jewelry box.

Don't be. No matter how it turns out, it will be to your benefit. If, as you expect, it finds nothing: You are a step closer to your WLS; if, on the other hand, it finds an issue: You are now aware of something you had no clue about, and are now on the way to dealing with it. It's a win either way. Good luck, Tek

When I was researching WLS I read the success and failure stories with equal interest. I contemplated how I would deal with things going right and things going wrong. I had to make sure I was ready for whatever came. Once I made my decision, I didn't revisit anything that led to that decision. Second guessing decisions is crazy making. All my focus was on doing what I needed to do to proceed. Sometimes it seemed like my brain had a mind of it's own and would find myself contemplating my personal nightmare scenarios. At such times distraction became my main tool. At work I would focus more on my work. At home I would play online MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game) with my spouse. Very immersive. Better still, distracting. For the record, none of my personal nightmare scenarios came to pass. I got every post-operative effect I wanted and it all worked out pretty close to my best-case scenario. Good luck, Tek

I've known two post-ops that lost their excess weight then became 'life coaches' who shared their experience and success at losing weight to their paying customers: Diet and exercise. No mention of WLS. Shameful. I only shared that I was having WLS with those people that needed to know either for medical history or work contingencies. We didn't even tell our grown children. Post-op my weight loss was rarely a topic of conversation outside the few people that knew of it. As we visited or were visited by family we let them in on the news. Anyone that could not be supportive were invited to share their insights with anyone but us. Of course, that last bit is pretty much a standing rule. If an acquaintance asked about my weight loss I had two sets of answers: 1. If it was someone with a weight issue or other compelling story and I was feeling chatty I told the whole story; 2. Otherwise I just said I would not be discussing personal topics today, but thanks for asking. I think lying outright is not a good feeling nor a good look, especially when the truth is inevitably revealed. I've learned as I've gotten older to keep more and more of my own counsel. No need to lie. No need to even talk. Good luck, Tek

Failure is a great teacher.