The Greater Fool

I can assure you I don't live on beige food. I wouldn't be surprised if most of your ready meals can be healthy enough for purpose. I do most of the cooking at Casa de Tek and I am a spicy and flavorful cook and so is the food. I do prepare larger than necessary batches and prepare them for eating over the next week or three. I can find healthy enough food anywhere and enjoy the little bit that I eat. You will do fine. Day at a time and all that. Tek

I believe all of us should know the "why" of things WLS. Most people don't want to know why, they just want a list of what to eat when, then get stuck when their life doesn't easily sync with the plan. Knowing "why" let's you understand how to make adjustments that aren't obvious but are still following the plan. Keep it up. I stopped going to (in person) support after the third meeting and left the online portion about the same time. The main topic was how to cheat, and the second was women stuff. Not my cup of tea. I never did protein drinks except when I was binge running and then it was more for the running than my plan. Even on puree I was at my appropriate protein level by about week 3-4. For RNY patients there is always the question of how much protein are we NOT absorbing because of our surgery. So popping in a protein drink can ensure enough is being absorbed. Or, like @catwoman7who have a specific need. My RNY had a small bypass so I don't malabsorb much. My doc was four square against protein drinks, he wanted us learning to eat correctly from the very beginning. My sense, though, is generally they are a meal replacement for the crash diet many surgeon's put their patients on so that they will lose weight faster. Keep on thinking and learning. Tek

I'm a guy. Everything your husband fears about surgery is true. Something COULD happen. You COULD change. You COULD find a better guy. He's seen the same WLS horror stories as you. He's had associates at work tell him all the things that he fears happened to a friend of a friend and it was horrible. Another true thing: WLS makes good relationships better and bad relationships worse. By having surgery you are changing the status quo in all your relationships. Relationships will necessarily change as you change when eventually a new status quo is established. Again, some relationships will be better, others worse, and others may not change much at all. So, you have a lot of talking to do. Talk to your husband about his fears and reassure him that nothing extremely bad will happen, that you will not change in any important way. That you love him and have no intention of leaving him. You will have to have this discussion every time his fear (and insecurity) come up because you love him. Tell him of all the things you can do with him when you lose weight. Express all the reasons you are having WLS and how those will impact him in a positive way. Open and honest, again and again. Then you will have to do similar in other relationships whether you tell them about surgery or not, because they have eyes and will notice you losing weight. We all get insecure about change sometimes when we perceive or imagine changes. We all have buttons. This may seem unfair and perhaps it is. But it's how loving, caring, giving relationships work. If you don't care about the relationship you don't need to take the time. "I'm doing this. Get on board or..." works if you don't care about the fallout. Your choice. Good luck, Tek

Sure... whatever you say. heh, "regular porn." Who's kidding whom? Averting my eyes... finally. Tek

I think I see what you mean. Good luck, Tek

It can be an obsession if you want it to be. There are many here that obsess about every calorie. It can also be a simple task that you handle like several other tasks you do every day. It's really up to you at least as much as you can control any of your obsessions. You manage to feed yourself now and your new diet plan need not be significantly more complicated, again, unless you want it to. For me, my plan didn't require counting calories or much else than "this much protein, this much veggies", done and done. To this day this continues to be my plan. Relax. Take the time to learn about your surgery and your plan. You will have plenty of time to learn what appeals to you. Good luck, Tek

Food porn. Carry on! Tek

Studies indicate that your thirst is a pretty good guide. Good luck, Tek

Congratulations on your success. You covered a lot of points that people really need to ponder. Our surgeries are always there. Continued success and good luck, Tek

Congratulations on your success. I would check in with a fleshy doc. Trust your health to the professionals. The only place that is possibly worse than Dr. Google is asking strangers on an internet message board. Good luck, Tek

Which is why I advocate following your surgeon's plan. Once you start choosing what part of your plan you will follow then you are on no plan at all. I only pointed out that I was on puree from day one to illustrate nothing life shattering will happen if you start it a day or two sooner. Other than it is the first step away from plan, of course. Good luck, Tek

No draconian liquid diets for me. My plan started with 6 weeks of puree, which were effectively my eating plan that would start after week 6 just pureed. I've basically been on the same plan day 1 through day 6,763. Good luck, Tek

"Eating until I am satisfied" is what got me to needing WLS in the first place. My plan is I eat 3 meals per day, each meal being 3oz protein + 1oz veggies. I eat until the meal is gone or when my surgery says I'm done ["When I am satisfied" could be an interpretation of this], whichever comes first. This long ago became my normal. Good luck, Tek

Well, when a man loves a woman... Tek

Accidentally swallowing gum can block your pouch which can result in a trip to the ER and a not fun procedure to remove the gum. Famous last words "I won't swallow my gum" Enjoy your gum. Tek

What does your medical team say? Tek

I started at over 700 pounds and have managed to achieve a normal BMI. Actually, for a short time I was below a normal BMI thanks to my binge-running but when then binge-running ended my weight bounced up to high end normal BMI. After 18+ years I am still high normal BMI. Theoretically any given WLS patent can achieve a normal BMI. However, the average overall weight loss is about 60%. Good luck, Tek

Congratulations! "Only" 33 pounds in the 3 weeks since surgery! How do you show your face? You must be so ashamed of yourself. 🤣 Be warned you are on the threshold of the infamous 3-week stall. Before you panic and post about your stall, search "3 week stall" then change nothing and keep doing what you are doing. Good luck, Tek

It is times like these that try our souls. Maybe getting the dogs some treats will help smooth over their trauma. If you handle things just so your relationship with your friend may not suffer over much, though the dogs may never forgive you. You mention calling your surgical center. The dogs will likely appreciate other sources of treats and affection. Remember, this is not about you. It's about the dogs. Good luck, Tek

3/8/2021 is sometimes confused with 3/8/2021 for people across an ocean. Tek

The "only problem" was that you were able to eat A LOT more than you expected? Really? Tek

I have to tell you I've tried several times to reply and gave up because it's so easy to screw up when trying to help with such issues. I am offering this in an attempt to be helpful so if I do so in a clumsy or apparently insensitive way trust that it is not my intent. Fools rush in where wise men fear to tread... First of all, it WILL get better. You will make it better. Let's consider hunger. So much can go into a feeling of hunger. Let's see if we can spark some ideas, or at worst, rule out some bad ones: 1) I dare say that feeling hungry 1/2 hour after eating is likely not your body crying out for food to stave off starvation. Though, after months of draconian diets it wouldn't be a crazy idea that you very well may be on the verge of starvation. If your meals of 1/2 hour are preventing you from eating enough you very well may be on the verge of starvation; 2) We didn't get to being morbidly (or worse) obesity by our good eating habits. We have years of bad habits that have become normal. These habits build expectations both mentally and physically. Simply, these bad habits are associated with satiation. Now, we can't eat to the level our habits require and our bodies expect; 3) In addition to volume we also went straight to our "comfort foods" which as the name suggests comforted us. We perhaps each derived different comforts from such foods. In point of fact we probably had different foods for different purposes and perhaps even different rituals involved; The solutions for all of these things are things we've probably heard in relation to many of our failed diet plans in the past, but they are correct. It's about building new, good habits. Some of the rules we are given are intended to help with the new habits. Critically, it takes time to make the new habits replace the old habits. 1) For the new (good) habits to replace the old (bad) habits requires strict compliance. For a time, even small violations will cause learning the new habits to be that little bit harder, and take that little bit longer. Stay focused on the plan and the prize; 2) The mechanics of eating are a learning process. The "No eating longer than 1/2 hour" rule is to prevent you from learning to graze. My Doc had the same rule. Really, it is a guideline, because if you aren't getting enough to eat consistently, you are starving yourself, and no wonder you feel hungry if you aren't eating but a fractional part of your requirements. I couldn't get enough down in 1/2 in the first 2 months, so I set a minimum volume I need to eat, and I ate that even if it took longer than 1/2 hour. Work to improve every meal. 3) The idea that no one call tell you how much to eat is, frankly, ridiculous. Having a well defined plan is, in my not so humble opinion, is critical to success. If your team has only given you do's and don'ts then use those to create a well defined plan. My teams plan was simple and from what I've seen would work with most every other plan. 3 meals per day, each of 3oz protein + 1oz veggies, no white carbs. I counted calories, protein, and carbs and it turns out to be correct for what most plans look for. So, define your meal plan if your team won't; Your food CAN be enjoyable. Don't go overboard on super healthy, super protein, super whatever, especially if it's not appetizing and sustainable. You are NOT on a diet, but creating your new normal. Stick with it. 4) Drinking: 64oz is usually a number surgeons quote when they quote a number. The whole idea of 64oz was created out of thin air there is no science to support it. Science supports allowing thirst to guide your drinking. Too much can throw electrolytes out of balance and even if it's 1/2 hour after eating it will still wash everything through. If you are not drinking enough then more water may be better, once you are drinking enough, more is not necessarily better. 5) It might not be a bad idea to get a counselor's help. I would focus on habits and triggers rather than history, but that's me. 6) Another thing that may help is distraction. Rather than sitting focusing on how hungry and miserable you are, find something into which you can put your focus. Books, video games, whatever. Even :gulp: walking around, going to a mall. Again, whatever makes you happy. Success breeds success. Hopefully, the longer to do it right the easier it will become. If it's not working, try different approaches, different choices, but stay within your guidelines. You will eventually hit on something that works for you. You are almost through the hard part. Good luck, Tek

Welcome. 66 pounds at 2 months is pretty darned good. I started a fair chunk higher than you (I also suspect I started out taller at 6'4") and managed roughly a couple pounds less than you in the first 2 months. I recall also being mildly disappointed and I had to scale back my expectations. Continued success and good luck, Tek

It's been a very long time since I have have been required or inclined to sip. When I was binge running 2-3 years post-op, I never drank over much at one go as that carries it's own issues for me when running, On the other hand I can in no way match my drinking pre-op. I could inhale a liter in less than 30 seconds. Now, I can take a gulp, perhaps two, but I'm out of the habit of doing more. So many things food and drink are simply new habit rather than a purposeful, thoughtful choice. Good luck, Tek

My guess is that weighing 1/4 what you did pre-op is the difference. Congratulations! [Assuming weighing 1/4 less is better than being able to hold your liquor ] Tek