The Greater Fool

Could you describe your dumping episodes? Tek

Like @catwoman7 I was laser focused on my plan for the first year or longer. I didn't have a piece of candy, or a cookie, or any previously favored treat. I was a binge eater, if one was good ten would be better. I was honestly afraid that one might turn into more. I wouldn't even do a low calorie version because in the past they were always stepping stones to a lot of the real thing. Rather, I turned my obsession to following plan. I was surprised by the pride I felt by following the simple rules of my plan day after day. For now stay focused and compliant to your plan and be rewarded with the positive feedback loop of losing weight. You are building new habits and a new lifestyle that will serve you for the rest of your life. Good luck, Tek

I realize I didn't directly answer "Should I be concerned?" I was concerned. I was in my early 40's and things were starting to go wrong. Hauling around 500+ extra pounds takes it's toll. Looking at the future, I could see I would be bed bound in a couple years, which would impact my life negatively in so many ways. Already, medical issues were becoming increasingly frequent and severe. In a word, the future looked bleak. So, yes, I was concerned. When I decided RNY was for me and I chose the surgeon for the task, yes, I was concerned. I was concerned that he wouldn't be able to help me because I was so large, it would have been a sentence to a slow, miserable death. When my surgeon took me on as a patient "concern" wouldn't be what I felt. Hope was what I felt. He told me the plan and I felt it I could do it. He was frank that being as large as I was that I could die during surgery. My wife and I discussed this possibility and both agreed it was better to die trying to change things than to die the slow death we saw ahead. So, I was not concerned about surgery, I would have been concerned to not get surgery. Was I concerned that my surgeon hadn't had a patient as large as me? No, I thanked my lucky stars he was giving me a chance to live. I still did my due diligence though. I checked out the surgeons past, since he had been involved in WLS studies, I looked at his documented outcomes. I grilled him with questions as he did me. Turns out I was very lucky. My concern, if I had one, was that the testing would reveal a problem that would have caused my surgery to be cancelled. Fortunately nothing got in the way. Good luck, Tek

I stopped monthly visits after 1.5 years, then about three appointments about 6 months apart to talk about eating during my binge running phase. At these appointments, my plan was modified to be 4, then 5 meals a day. Then adding a protein drink. I felt like I was eating all day long and after getting used to 3 meals a day it was not a pleasant feeling, oddly enough. I then started the annual physical routine with my PCP where they would do the appropriate blood work and I did my annual weigh in since I don't weigh at home. Good luck, Tek

I had 6 weeks of puree, then the adventure of normally textured food, where broccoli was shaped like broccoli, lettuce like lettuce, chicken like chicken... well, chicken parts. Pureed was easier than food because that last bite wasn't quite as hard a wall as the last bite with food. So, it was a learning process again to know when to stop before the infamous 'one bite too much.' So I ate a little slower, chewed a little better, and honestly it took an amazingly small number of times doing it wrong to start getting it right. As time moved forward as it inextricably does, things got easier and mistakes grew further and further apart. So many things change where the last bite is. If I'm tired, or sick, or stressed, or upset, my limits are tighter. If I'm not aware it will be a problem, but rarely the rush to the bathroom and spit up variety. I ran into the 'one bite too many' syndrome more often when I was in a good mood, sharing a meal with friends having a good time, absorbed in conversation not paying attention to the mechanics of eating. Eventually you learn to balance this out also. Really, we all build up regular foods as something to be feared. You read what I wrote up to this point and it can sound like a horrible mine field. Really it is just another step in the process, as hard or easy as we make it. The more worried I was, the worse I did. When I just relaxed and did it I did much better. So, just relax, pay attention, and push forward. Good luck, Tek

If all goes well I can't imagine you will have much trouble. Grad school is pretty cool about unobtrusive food and drink, at least it was back in Bedrock [It's a Flintstone's joke you whippershappers! Look it up! Get off my lawn!] Even bathroom breaks wouldn't be noticeable if you can resist the compulsion to sit at the front of the room. I would have been whining in bed weeks after sinus surgery, Oh, jeezus. And a C-section?!? Just put on the tights and cape already. Enjoy your journey, you will rock this. Good luck, Tek

I'm 18 years post-op, I can handle a hand full spread through the evening. Tek

oops

A-1 You will still take your meds. If any are time-release they will likely convert to to immediate release as time-release is iffy with RNY; A-2 Most doctors have no issue with acetaminophen but some will not like NSAIDs like aspirin at least in the short term. NSAIDs are a ready argument around here, some folks believe they are off the list forever, others that reasonable non-constant use is OK. Pick your sides. B-1 Most likely. B-2 Most unlikely. Do you have a recliner? It might be useful for a couple days. B-3 If you can now you will be able to after perhaps with mild pain. B-4 Your Doc will tell you. You won't smell to bad when you are finally able to shower, unless B-3 is problematic. C-1 There are stevedores that worked the dock the night after surgery and home bound people that couldn't manage to get from room to room. You won't know until you know. Probably a week or three. C-2 I would imagine you would be healed enough to ride within a month, maybe a couple weeks, more or less. Precise estimates are my job, sorta maybe. A lot of this stuff is personal experience. The Doc is also a good resource on all of the stuff, don't be afraid to engage him/her/it/them/xi. Now, let's read all the conflicting answers together, shall we? I'll get the popcorn. Good luck, Tek

I've never been to Indiana nor your Bariatric group but I want to lend some support and encouragement. It sounds like the office staff are not doing a good job and you get to suffer and (literally) pay for it. Sometimes it feels personal, doesn't it? It is certainly frustrating. It also sounds like communication is pretty bad. I'd guess that any non-emergency surgeries have been put on hold because of the spike in Covid cases over the summer. Of course, whatever the reason, they have failed in the communication area also. Keep banging the drums to get them moving correctly. You will get there eventually. Good luck, Tek

I think it would be prudent to call your Doc and express clearly the extent of your discomfort and work out a plan of action(s) to resolve it. Good luck, Tek

Honestly, there aren't a lot of folks 600+ pounds (comparatively) that are looking for surgery and a lot of surgeons out there now, so this isn't surprising to me. I was the largest my surgeon had done to that time. I had a rough beginning as my surgery was open (not laproscopic) and the staples and drain were extraordinarily painful. But once that stuff was removed I did and felt fine. My Docs plan was to teach me how to eat healthy and this started day 1 post-op. I still live this plan. By month 6 the plan became my new normal and I had hundreds of pounds of successful weight loss to reinforce that my plan was working. And the rest, as they say, is history. I went on to lose all my excess weight, weight I have not found again since. I had my acceptable goal weight and my goal weight and blew right past them to a weight of which I never dreamed in my wildest dreams. I've done so many things I never thought I would like running 5 marathons. I done so many things I never even thought about. It's been a great ride. If your surgeon, like mine, takes you on as a patient it means they are confident they can help you. Do your due diligence as you should for any Doc then move forward with a can-do attitude because there will be a bunch of hoops to jump through. You won't recognize your life in 3 years. Good luck, Tek

I probably ate fried foods at about 10 months post-op. Pasta maybe about the same time. What your saying is a doctor wouldn't give you a date. That's because he would rather you didn't do it at all, which is the prudent thing to (not) do. Eventually, you will need to come to peace with these things. Wait a few months longer if you can. Good luck, Tek

The Doc will smell it on your breath and cancel your surgery. It is really, really, really (3 reallys so you know it's really, really, really) important to follow your surgeons plan. I will tell you people, not known to me personally, have done as you wish to do and gotten away with the heinous crime. In fact, I can't recall a person caught out in such a nefarious deed. I don't actually think the surgeon could tell, to be honest. But, no, don't do it. You're building character here. Even though not a soul now living could tell. But, follow your surgeons instructions. Enjoy the chicken, Tek

@laurenantics, we need to call our marriage off. I usually do a couple paragraphs on the importance of communication, and more about relationships being about 100 commitment and more communication. Then a bit on the importance of variety in sexual positions and role play in public. You know, the obvious stuff. But I had to pretend to work for a while, so couldn't hit the usual high points, so I'm sorry to say I rushed it a bit. Trust me when I say the silent motto around here is "happy wife, happy life" and any man worth his salt has figured this about by year 20. 25 tops. So, I could reprise any of the parts I missed if anyone would like to read them. Good wishes and good luck, Tek

I can assure you I don't live on beige food. I wouldn't be surprised if most of your ready meals can be healthy enough for purpose. I do most of the cooking at Casa de Tek and I am a spicy and flavorful cook and so is the food. I do prepare larger than necessary batches and prepare them for eating over the next week or three. I can find healthy enough food anywhere and enjoy the little bit that I eat. You will do fine. Day at a time and all that. Tek

I believe all of us should know the "why" of things WLS. Most people don't want to know why, they just want a list of what to eat when, then get stuck when their life doesn't easily sync with the plan. Knowing "why" let's you understand how to make adjustments that aren't obvious but are still following the plan. Keep it up. I stopped going to (in person) support after the third meeting and left the online portion about the same time. The main topic was how to cheat, and the second was women stuff. Not my cup of tea. I never did protein drinks except when I was binge running and then it was more for the running than my plan. Even on puree I was at my appropriate protein level by about week 3-4. For RNY patients there is always the question of how much protein are we NOT absorbing because of our surgery. So popping in a protein drink can ensure enough is being absorbed. Or, like @catwoman7who have a specific need. My RNY had a small bypass so I don't malabsorb much. My doc was four square against protein drinks, he wanted us learning to eat correctly from the very beginning. My sense, though, is generally they are a meal replacement for the crash diet many surgeon's put their patients on so that they will lose weight faster. Keep on thinking and learning. Tek

I'm a guy. Everything your husband fears about surgery is true. Something COULD happen. You COULD change. You COULD find a better guy. He's seen the same WLS horror stories as you. He's had associates at work tell him all the things that he fears happened to a friend of a friend and it was horrible. Another true thing: WLS makes good relationships better and bad relationships worse. By having surgery you are changing the status quo in all your relationships. Relationships will necessarily change as you change when eventually a new status quo is established. Again, some relationships will be better, others worse, and others may not change much at all. So, you have a lot of talking to do. Talk to your husband about his fears and reassure him that nothing extremely bad will happen, that you will not change in any important way. That you love him and have no intention of leaving him. You will have to have this discussion every time his fear (and insecurity) come up because you love him. Tell him of all the things you can do with him when you lose weight. Express all the reasons you are having WLS and how those will impact him in a positive way. Open and honest, again and again. Then you will have to do similar in other relationships whether you tell them about surgery or not, because they have eyes and will notice you losing weight. We all get insecure about change sometimes when we perceive or imagine changes. We all have buttons. This may seem unfair and perhaps it is. But it's how loving, caring, giving relationships work. If you don't care about the relationship you don't need to take the time. "I'm doing this. Get on board or..." works if you don't care about the fallout. Your choice. Good luck, Tek

Sure... whatever you say. heh, "regular porn." Who's kidding whom? Averting my eyes... finally. Tek

I think I see what you mean. Good luck, Tek

It can be an obsession if you want it to be. There are many here that obsess about every calorie. It can also be a simple task that you handle like several other tasks you do every day. It's really up to you at least as much as you can control any of your obsessions. You manage to feed yourself now and your new diet plan need not be significantly more complicated, again, unless you want it to. For me, my plan didn't require counting calories or much else than "this much protein, this much veggies", done and done. To this day this continues to be my plan. Relax. Take the time to learn about your surgery and your plan. You will have plenty of time to learn what appeals to you. Good luck, Tek

Food porn. Carry on! Tek

Studies indicate that your thirst is a pretty good guide. Good luck, Tek

Congratulations on your success. You covered a lot of points that people really need to ponder. Our surgeries are always there. Continued success and good luck, Tek

Congratulations on your success. I would check in with a fleshy doc. Trust your health to the professionals. The only place that is possibly worse than Dr. Google is asking strangers on an internet message board. Good luck, Tek