The Greater Fool

I have always enjoyed eating, and still do but differently. While everyone else is eating plates of food, I am focused on bites of food, usually off their plates. It fosters a great sense of sharing and connection. You can eat one bite of the absolutely worst food and a more bites of food that fits into your plan with nary an argument to be had. If it's what everyone wants' to do, you can play. Really, fighting on vacation is a great way to ruin a vacation, especially when you are the cause. You are above living to eat now. But it doesn't mean you can't enjoy eating while you live. Good luck, Tek

Planning on another donut anytime soon? Dumping can last 3-4 hours, depending on how far you went. When the diarrhea works it's way through you are prety much done. Best to just give in and sleep it off. Dumping is great, it teaches you in no uncertain terms that you don't want to eat whatever you ate ever again. Yet... soon enough you will try. You will eventually learn your limits. I'm a big fan of dumping. It has kept me on the almost straight and moderately narrow even all these years later. Good luck, Tek

Early on I recall eggs being just too hard on my stomach and just stayed away from them. Eventually my stomach started giving me the message to go forth and egg and things worked out well. I'm mostly a scrambles egg / omelet sort of guy. It was a while before I could get past one egg but even now two is pushing it. As times moves on food tolerances have moved into a more rational range than early post-op. Good luck, Tek

I'll take 2 chicken and 2 pork. Good luck, Tek

I have found that every phase of drinking is faster. The buzz hits quicker, but doesn't last as long, quickly giving way to the hangover (the headache you woke up with), and by early morning it's like it never happened. Be careful as this can really annoy partners that go through everything at the normal pace and wake with the hangover. So be sensitive and refrain from slamming doors and drawers over much, unless they acted poorly the night before. Good Luck, Tek

I've tried to spend time in the gym but no matter what I do or how I do it it's nothing less than torture. After I lost down to 100 pounds to go I decided to challenge myself with a program similar to C25K found in "the Idiot's guide to running." We were already walking 8-10 miles several times a week so I wasn't starting cold. Once I completed the program I started listening to audio books while I ran. I kept increasing time and distance until I decided on a new challenge: running a marathon. I got another book "Marathon Training for Dummies," changed my shoes, and before I knew it I was running 90+ miles a week. And I joined a gym, yuk. This gym had a running track, so my wife could gym and I could run. I did hit the machines on occasion to help my running, and yep, it was torture. Even running on a treadmill, and I did it more than I wanted, took the joy out of running. I started out the day running. It put a nice glow on the day as I felt I had done something good. It allowed me to ponder what I wanted to achieve that day, I got to spend time listening to a book, or actually a series of books. I never got a "runner's high" but I did feel good having done it. I discovered listening to audio books makes any chore better. Even when I have to do brain dead work at the office listening makes it better. My wife listens to music, how weird is that My main trick is not to do anything that feels like torture. It's impossible to maintain something I dislike, be it exercise, diet, work, or relationships. So, find something you enjoy then add audio books to it. Good luck, Tek

Thank you @SpartanMaker for pointing out things on which I could have been clearer. I know I often go overboard in detail but not so in this case. Hard to believe isn't it? I put plan exercise / movement, such as walking, outside the area we have a choice in experiencing pain or not. I was doing the proscribed walks around the ward for the 3 days I was there. The pain with such activity was more about getting up or sitting down. The actual walking wasn't a problem. In the hospital I had a bed that had to be the work of Satan himself as I found the guest chair far more manageable than the bed. In my mind I was thinking of the frequent bathroom trips, fetching food or drink, or other such "elective" upping and downing. A recliner gets you out of half of the upping and downing, a pillow mountain is nearly as good. On the taping the staples with duct tape I thought I was clear one should avoid applying the tape to the actual staples. Putting petroleum jelly on the staples, or placing gauze on the staples or even duct tape facing sticky side up all work fine. The point is to pull the skin together so that the pulling doesn't land on the staples. I haven't found a medical tape that can actually work as well as duct tape. I did the same thing after my Abdominoplasty (tummy-tuck) when the staples ran vertically identical to WLS post--op, with the extra added bonus of horizontally hip to hip. Normally staples aren't an issue for post-op on Tummy Tucks, but as it turned out they had to rip me open and fix the hemorrhaging. So staples were the choice for scar tissue wasn't the overriding issue. I also had 2 drains this time around. My surgeon actually got a kick out of it when he saw me plastered in duct tape. No staples were pulled in the use of duct tape. But a whole lot of staple line pain that could have been wasn't. I think we generally agree on pain management. Generally it's a bad idea to "tough it out" for a period as getting out of pain is harder than staying out of pain. Narcotics don't work well on acute pain situations (such as staple pain) but does work well on chronic pain (such as staple pain). In other words, narcotics don't work on the surprise, screaming pain caused by movement, but do work on the constant pain that is going on even when you aren't moving. As always talk to your surgeon. Never trust strangers on the internet. Good luck, Tek

Now we're in the territory where my surgical experience is meaningful. It seems like time for a colorful expletive. I had an open surgery, so they cut from just below my sternum to just above my pubic area. It took 30 some odd staples to seal me up. I also had a drain. Any movement was very painful. Any tug on the drain made the staple pain desirable. My #1 advice: Don't move. Do you really need to breath? When you simply have to move there are two schools of thought: 1) Move fast; 2) Move slow. Moving fast scrunches all that movement, and all that pain, to one short but intense burst of pain. But then it's done. Moving slow allows you to evade some pain, but the pain you have happens over a longer period of time but can seem to be at a lower intensity. I say mix it up. Keep the pain guessing. Here is the crappy part: Those precious oxycodone won't help the acute pain from moving around. You could be barely conscious but move slightly and the pain shoots right through. Save the pills for when you are achy, oxy does a great job for persistent pain. If you have a recliner go there and live for a while. Getting up and down is much easier when you are starting from a sitting position. If you don't have a recliner, build one on your bed with pillows. Duct Tape. Put duct tape over the staples so they aren't being pulled. You might want to put something non-sticky over the staples, With no skin pulling on the staples, you will have dramatically less pain when you move. Some folks may think surgical / medical tape would be the way to go, after all it's what the Docs use. Notice they didn't use any of those tapes... because they don't work. And sending you home in duct tape would have had people laughing. Trust me: Duct Tape. Things will improve dramatically when you get the staples plucked out. Those first minutes after those staples are gone are heaven. Getting them plucked out is a different story. 2 out of 3 staples say good-bye peacefully and quietly, and just as you relax thinking it's smooth sailing from here, that 3rd staple strikes. Yikes! But then the next 2 convince you that it's back to smooth sailing, when suddenly you're climbing down from the ceiling. But think about just 2-3 minutes from now when all the pain will be gone. This may be a good time for a pill. In no time you will be whining about the stall you started just about the time your staples came out. Good luck, Tek

Can anyone help? I need to know how much protein and calories these microbes add so I can put it in my tracker. Yes, I have a horrible sense of timing. Some would say so of my sense of humor... if I had one at all. I'm sure everyone that uses protein drinks knows that mixing protein drinks too far in advance can likewise open you up to microbial contamination. Be careful out there folks. Good luck, Tek

I didn't mean to completely ignore your mom's situation. But as you stated there is not a whole lot you can do, even if you were next to her 24 hours a day. It's a different world in China. And you're here. You probably are already doing what you can, which realistically isn't much. Being supportive, listening. Being ready to make plans and take action should Mom decide to do something. It's a carpy situation all around. You both feel helpless. Heck, I feel helpless. It's frustrating when you know what mom should do but can't get her to do it. I know I'm telling you stuff you already know because, well, you told us. I guess I just want you to know you've been heard. I wish there were something positive or a silver lining in there somewhere but that's just not the reality of the situation. Sorry I can't be more up or have any advice you haven't heard over and over. Again, take care of yourself first. It sounds heartless. Perhaps it is. Don't let them take you both down. Good luck, Tek

I agree wholeheartedly with @liveaboard15. Such people as your aunt are poison. Tell her that if she wants you dead then she gets her wish: You're dead to her. And never talk to her again. Family doesn't get special rights or privileges to treat you like carp. Cut her out. If she visits go to another room, or 'run an errand.' If other family hound you about 'respect' or 'honoring elders' or push visiting with the aunt remind them that she wants you dead. You're just giving her what she wants: one less niece. Tell them if they keep pushing you into a taxic situation they can be added to the ignore list. Life is to short to spend any of it on your aunt or anyone else that can't treat you with, at a minimum, basic courtesy. You are your first priority. Good luck, Tek

WLS isn't the easy way. It's hard differently. To the OP my suggestion is to keep talking to your hubby / family. You are upsetting the status quo and will be throwing all of your relationships out of balance. Some will become better, some will remain unchanged, and some will get worse. Some may dissolve altogether. Hopefully, after your surgery when it's no longer a choice but rather something with which to live, your hubby and family will jump on board to make the best of the situation. Maybe not. Keep talking, keep informing, keep relating what you hope to get from them even though they don't support the choice. Perhaps show them that in the past you've supported them when you disagreed. Keep the communication going. Enjoy the ride. Good luck, Tek

What makes you think I'm offended? I was trying to convey that you made some good points for one of the surgeries you are considering and you actually seem to have made up your mind already. WLS is for life. I would always choose the option that has a better, long enough track record. I might miss out on the newest, bestest surgery ever, but I may also miss out on having a surgery that does longer term damage or longer term lackluster results. But more important than what the internet (that's me too) may think is the "bestest surgery eva!" is how will the effects of a particular WLS fit in with your needs, lifestyle, health issues and goals. We can't tell you that. I think you know your mind already. Good luck, Tek

Well, you've convinced me! If I ever have a revision surgery I know which one I'm having. You're the best! Good Luck, Tek

If we're unhappy with the way things are now we can either change or stay where we are. My life at times has gone out of balance to the extent that I have been profoundly unhappy. Where I felt I didn't have the time to do any aspect of my life well and felt I was letting everyone down that was counting on me. At such times, I worked to do just as I advocated you do: I made achievable changes to improve my lot then I evaluated where I was. These achievable changes could be new efficiencies, or eliminating low reward things, or rearranging scheduling, or off-loading or exchanging tasks with/to others, enlisting allies, establishing priorities, reframing how I feel about things, or any other tactic that seemed like it was achievable and would move me toward my goal. After the changes I then assess if these changes improved my lot enough, or did I need to change more and repeat the cycle until everything is in perfect balance. I'll let you know when that happens any day now. Good luck, Tek

OK, you're smart, you work it out. Why do you think your goals are your goals? Your medical team getting it's jollies at your expense, or do they believe they serve an honest purpose? What purpose might that be? [Snark not intended] Let's consider some facts: 60g of Protein is considered a healthy amount of protein for non-ops and post-ops alike. Same with minerals and vitamins that are often supplemented to ensure minimum values, op and non-op alike. Similarly for liquids, again for op and non-op alike. Missing these goals one day, or even a few, may not impact overall heath in the long-run. But missing them too frequently for too long may be a different story. So, knowing these facts you should be able to make your choice. Were it me, I wouldn't fret about the occasional lapse. But that's me. But, knowing these facts, when I'm ill I can't even force myself to eat for days or weeks at a time, which has caused problems to compound. It comes down to the habits you choose to build. Under normal circumstances I push myself to eat even when I don't feel like it as preparation for those times when I simply can't. Your mileage may vary. Good luck, Tek

I managed mine in just over 3 months. My insurance demanded a 6 months medically supervised diet, but I had that proven via two different paths of two different programs in the previous 12 months, so they had no gripe there. They also wanted 5 years of proven morbid obesity and and I had that proven medically and with pictures so again, they were beaten. All that remained were all the tests proving I could live through the procedure, which I managed quicker than usual, since I made frequent calls pestering for any appointment cancellations. When the doc's office submitted for approval Friday afternoon, I was surprised to learn I was already approved Monday morning. My surgery, originally scheduled for 4 weeks later was 2 weeks later. I suspect a lot has changed in the subsequent years. Good Luck, Tek

It's common for the Gall Bladder to go sour post-op, I'm not sure they know why. It often resulted in a second surgery removing the GB. My surgeon made it a practice just simply to remove it with Gastric Bypass. Knowing this I had a long talk with my surgeon that I didn't want my GB removed just because. I got him to promise that he would not remove it unless it definitely deserved to be 86'ed. As it turned out, he removed it because he said it was necessary. Knowing me, he had ready pictures of good GBs and my GB, and the reports on my GB. He had me dead to rights. I can't say I've noticed that it is missing. :shrug: Good Luck, Tek

When my spouse and I were getting serious about walking Post-op and after a fair chunk of research, we chose New Balance. We found them very comfortable. My wife chooses them to this day. They are typically reasonably priced. After I established to myself that binge running was going to be a thing in my life, I eventually changed to Nike Free, which has much less support, but still more than you'd expect. It felt close to running barefoot. They aren't cheap, and now are harder to find. When I was doing 90+ mile weeks, I went through a pair about every 6 weeks. Even though I can't run any longer, I still buy Nike Free exclusively because they are so light. They last a lot longer now. Good luck, Tek

I guess Upper GI ex-rays with barium swallows are out of vogue. Here is my journal entry: Then the Upper GI; now this was not fun. I have never had one of these, so here is what happened: The Tech stands me in the proper position, tells me what is going to happen, and then fetches the Dr. The Dr. arrives, and I quickly drink some “fizzy powder” as instructed. “Don’t burp!” Then I drank the FIRST cup of Barium. The Barium was chalky, slightly lemon, and (unfortunately) a little chunky in places. I told myself it was a lemon shake… a chalky lemon shake… a warm chalky lemon shake... a warm chalky chunky lemon shake. The Dr. took a bunch of quick pictures… “Breath”… “Hold”… “Breath”… etc. Next, they set the table to horizontal (Oops, I burped while waiting, shhhh) then I lay on my stomach and had to drink the SECOND cup of warm Barium lemon shake through a straw. Then the THIRD. After that, they rolled me around and took pictures, and voila! It was done. It certainly wasn’t an ‘E-Ticket’ attraction, but I have been thru much worse. Good luck, Tek

Congratulations on your success. And grand success it is. I'd wager most folks here would have killed to lose 35 pound the first month. OK, here is what you're doing wrong: You're letting a stupid number on a scale mess with your emotions. Scales are the work of the devil and they lie, lie, lie. You are doing great, stalls are normal. Get rid of your scale. So celebrate doing great, then celebrate getting rid of the scale. Good luck, Tek

I understand being motivated by fear. I was going to die if I didn't change course. But living in a near fear is not the solution. The obvious course is to use fear to change but not live in fear as a result. You've changed. Don't let the fear continue to rule your life. I know of what you speak, and of what I speak. There are things you are doing that do not require your CONSTANT attention. Get rid of those things. Then evaluate. Then look at the next set of things that don't require your constant attention and get rid of them. Evaluate. Long before you realize you will have time to build an actual new life. Honest. Until you accept this you are a prisoner. Good luck, Tek ETA: Perhaps some professional help is called for. It can't hurt. ETA2: I saw your reply to Catwoman regarding bad shrinks. I can understand. Keep trying. When you give up it's all over, you're screwed any way you go. If you can't solve it yourself, which you should keep trying, then keep getting help... until you succeed. Failure is not an option, as much as it's said inappropriately. It's up to you.

It's not their fault. You seem to have all your excuses ready. Though, If I had to be honest, and I am, there is no way I could have followed through on the draconian diets of today. And I didn't have anyone cooking treats in front of me. Get some professional help before you create lasting problems. You can only benefit. Good luck, Tek

Insurance always getting in the way has always been a tactic. Unfortunately it works, as a certain number of people will give up at each obstacle. Congratulations on being one of those to traverse the gauntlet. Keep this same stick-to-itiveness in the gauntlet to come. Good luck, Tek

Starbucks Skinny Mocha = 15g sugar.