losingit87

So I've been going through the approval process for 5 months and last week I got my surgery date.... And it's only 11 days away (10 if you don't include today). And I am TERRIFIED. Disclosure: I have several anxiety disorders, and big BIG stuff like this freaks me out. I felt similar before (and actually for several months after) getting married even though I 100% love my husband and our relationship was and still is as solid as can be, and I felt the same,or even more scared, when we had our son. Like just utterly panicked thinking wtf am I doing my life was fine before (even if that's not even true). I have moments when I see more clearly,that really I only have 2 options: don't get the surgery, and likely gain even more weight. I mean, let's face it, that IS what will happen and logically I know that. That's what has always happened. Even if I go on a diet and commit to it and lose weight, I always always always gain it back plus more. There is no reason that wouldn't be the case now, suddenly, all of a sudden. Or my 2nd option, have the surgery and gain the tool that will actually help me lose weight AND keep it off (I know, if I put in the work). But then I have moments of utter terror. And I just want to back out and run away from it. But I don't *really* want that. Because I don't want to stay like this. And I'm not going to lie to myself that I can all of a sudden do this on my own. I'm just afraid of the whole permanent thing. Like, the sleeve actually IS reversible in that you can stretch out your stomach over time and eventually be right back to where you started. But if I get botched or if it's awful for some reason,there is no fixing it. That's so scary! Sorry for such a long post..but did anyone else feel like this in the days leading up to surgery?

Thank you!!

Thank you so much,those are some of my reasons too so I screenshot this!

Thank you,that makes me feel better!