JulieNYC

Hey yall! Thought I'd break in here for a minute and tell you my recent "couch to 5K" story. Basically, I did couch to 5K back last Jan/Feb (at about 250 lbs) and ran my first race in Feb (at about 220 lbs). I repeated at least one day of most weeks twice, but not as many as you'd think. Also, every time I was really dreading one of the bumps, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be (on the contrary, some of the bumps I didn't think would be so bad, actually were). All that culminated in me running the NYC marathon in November in 4:23. Woohoo! So, then I had PS (thigh lift and arm lift) and had to sit out from all exercise for exactly a month from my last run (which was, essentially, the marathon). This week, I'd planned to come back to couch to 5K to get back in shape before my second PS later this month. The good news? I didn't need to do couch to 5K again! My first run back was hard, but by the second run, I felt as strong as ever (maybe a LITTLE slower, but I could certainly run consistently for long distances without needing to take walk breaks). Anyway, just wanted to tell you guys how great you're doing and to let you know that if you stay with this for life, even with small setbacks like I had last month not being able to run, you WILL get to goal and stay there. I know that's as big of a component to my (forthcoming) maintenance as the band itself. GO RUNNERS!!!

Me too Paulax, we're twins! 6 to go!

Tracy, Boo's right, you do look AMAZING. I hope the whole world is noticing. They'd be blind not to! Boo, 8 miles is FABULOUS. If I were you, I'd concentrate on adding distance and not worrying about speed. Once you find "your" distance (I predict you fall in love with 1/2 marathons), you'll train for speed. Find the distance first. Seriously. Well, my weight dropped 3 lbs overnight! Go scale go! It's the right time in my cycle and with the recent return to running, the scale gods were kind. I've gotten smaller in the last couple of weeks, so I feel like they're real pounds. I'd like to lose 3 more before Dec 20th, though that might be asking for too much. We'll see....

I think you're right about the bra-line fat making the difference between us, Enterprise. I had that taken out when I had my BL, so my arms were probably simpler. What kind of compression garment are you getting? I've been using men's compression socks, like you'd wear on an airplane if you had circulation issues, with the ties cut out. They work pretty well, but don't go up into the arm pit, which, ideally, they would.

Oh Eva, I'm so glad you checked in with us. We miss you! Are you not eligible for a fill? I know the approach to fills is different where you are, but just wondering if that would help. The book you're reading sounds like a great step as well. Hang in there and let us know if we can help. Maybe set a December exercise goal?

I understand it and I feel it too. Most days, I feel fine. I want to eat my healthy portions and good foods. A few days, I'm still prone to binging. And, yet a few more days, if I'm honest, I "enjoy" the emotional rollercoaster of not eating. I'll drink a couple of lattes, so there's no complete dearth of calories, but I enjoy the empty feeling. It's just another variation on my food issues, though it's new, of course, since banding.

I had a TT at 200 lbs and it was the best thing I ever did. I had lost 150+ lbs at that point and made a conscious choice (with my reconstructive surgeon) to go ahead with the "major ressection" at that point, knowing full well that I may require a "tweak" later, if I lost substantially more weight. I did, but when I had my lateral thighs done at goal, I got a big of residual improvement in my lower stomach and now I don't need a "tweak" after all. From personal experience, I disagree that TT must occur at goal or within 20 lbs from goal. I do think that's best with MOST patients, because of the financial impact. But I do think there are circumstances where it is justified. I don't know that I'd have run my marathon (training for which took me to goal) with the pannus. And I know I wouldn't be as far along with the psychological progress of adapting to my new body image if I'd waited. There are plusses and minuses. In my opinion, it is not as simple as paying for what you want from one type of surgeon versus another (though I'm sure there's truth to the fact that there's always someone out there who will take your money and give you what you want, even if it's not the right thing for you or your body). There are careful considerations all around.

Karey, You're certainly thin enough for the "passing for thin" thread. First, because you are THIN and second because there's no weight limit with that thread -- it's for anyone who is facing the issues you describe. I have those same panic attacks about regain. Would it help you if you tell yourself "if the scale ever gets above X for whatever reason, THEN I'll get a fill?" and as long as it doesn't get to X you can enjoy living at a more comfortable fill level? That might make you feel in control....Be sure to pick an X that is at least 10 lbs above your normal weight so that you have to actually be gaining and not be jsut having a heavy day in order to trigger it, you know? The

I think you're in excellent hands with Dr. Kurian. I think they're all excellent surgeons and that it's more important to find a practice with the right fill and aftercare philosophy for you than anything. They're very aggressive at NYU and don't believe in withholding fills from someone based on things like having lost too much weight/not enough time having passed, etc. That really works for me because it would make me angry to be denied a fill I thought I needed based on having succeeded the month before with "willpower", etc. Some people feel differently and prefer a gentler, slower approach and, thus, would prefer a different mentality. Anyway NYU was a good fit for me. Yes, let's all shop together at Barney's at goal! Woohoo!

Oooh, I haven't been to Century 21 as a thinner person. It was pre-9/11 last time I went there. GOOD CALL, Lucy! kygal, //do you feel like a thin person? Do you find that you are treated differently? What do you mean when you say your head is playing "fat girl tricks" on you?// Those are hard questions. You might find it interesting to read through what some of us have said over on the "At Goal" forum in a thread called "Passing for Thin." Basically, the answer is, no, I don't feel like a thin person most of the time. I have moments where I do, but mostly I'm a person with a disease who is maybe in remission, but the disease is still there. Meaning, I still obsess about food and my body and eating too much or too little. I still think I'm "fat" a lot of the time, though the PS helps with that. Sometimes I feel thin, but then I'll see a picture of myself from a certain angle and I genuinely do think I'd look better 10 lbs lighter. Those 10 lbs make me feel "fat." Maybe that IS what it is like being a thin person -- meaning everyone has fat days. I don't know. I see a therapist weekly and we work on these issues and will for a while. I don't find that I'm treated differently in most instances. Meaning, I always had a job where people respected my mind, and I always had family who loved me for who I am. I am lucky. Where I find myself being treated differently is in anonimity. I'm not anonimous anymore in public. Men hold doors for me (or sometimes even hand me their card -- so wild!), strangers (men and women) strike up conversations on the bus, people just talk to me more. Now I do believe this is in reasonable part because I'm simply more approachable now. I don't dress to be hidden. I smile more. Etc. But some of it is the weight. I hope that begins to answer your questions. I can't completely answer them because I don't know the answers and even when I do, they change for me, sometimes hourly. It's a process....

Go for pencil eraser (or bubble gum/crandberry, haha!) for now. Develop that habit really well, then I'll tell you a secret. You'll figure out a way to not look so ridiculous eating such small bites. You'll figure out how to take a lady-like bite but swallow it in even smaller sections. People will actually comment on how you take such reasonable portioned bites. You'll feel tiny and adorable, I promise! Wink. But for the early days (say the first 4 months), just do the eraser thing. It'll serve you well in the long run. I know that seems ridiculously small, but just do it.

Hi everyone! How's it going? Ready for a December exercise challenge? Like I'd said in an earlier post, I'm going for 20 sessions this month. Since I'm down for the count from December 20-31 with the LAST surgery, I'm going to make the first half of the month count big time. I'm going to lose 5 lbs between now and then, then lose the LAST 5 during my PS recovery. I didn't make the most of my recovery last month, in that I didn't track calories and I ate a LOT of junk (read: ice cream). I maintained (and even lost maybe 2 lbs), but didn't lose what I could have. Well, I started running again yesterday and it's been GLORIOUS. I'm not actually supposed to run until Thursday, but I "triple bagged" my thighs (wore 3 layers of compression) and went for it. I'm certain it's fine, so don't worry. Yesterday I did 4 slow, easy miles just to get back into it (it'd been almost a month since I'd run). The first quarter mile was wonderful -- I felt so glad to be healthy and outside (even in the cold) and my body felt fine. Then the rest of miles 1 and 2 were quite hard, I must confess. It was my lungs mostly. Like I'd lost cardio capacity -- major. My body (legs, core, muscles generally) felt great but my lungs were hurting. I'm not used to running in the cold, so that was probably part of it too. I finished the 4 miles without incident and felt good, mostly that my first run was behind me, and glad to be starting the path of recovering my running skills. So, today I went out for a loop of the park (in the snow -- 6.5 miles -- told myself I could walk as much as I wanted to). Today was GLORIOUS! The snow forced me to slow down and take short strides to prevent slipping. But I felt like my cardio was already practically back up to full speed and it didn't ever even cross my mind to walk. So, I'm going to run a LOT this month. I'm not going to go over the 6.5 mile loop at least until I'm "officially" supposed to be running later this week. I'll probably do a long run (maybe 12 miles or maybe even a half marathon distance) this coming weekend. Can't wait!! I'm so glad to have my health and to be feeling as good as I am this soon after PS. Betty, you asked about the BF. We went out last night and had a lovely evening. I'm forcing us to take round 2 SUPER SLOW and am dating other people and only seeing him once a week. I like him so much but feel the need to keep things reasonable between us, at least during these final transitions I'm going through (as is he -- he's recovering from ACL surgery and looking for a new job). Meanwhile, I'm seeing someone at work too -- pure fun on that one. Plus, I met someone in San Fran that I think I'll keep on the hook as well (he comes to NYC on business very frequently). Go Julie!

Congratulations MimIN! This is going to be such a huge transformation -- physically and emotionally. I'm so excited for you!!

The worst is behind you! I can't wait to hear that your drains have come out and that they've put you in a more comfortable garment so you can bend your arms. You're in the downhill run now!

YAY! I'm so glad to read that you're going to other consults, desipte this frustrating first experience. I think comparison shopping for this kind of thing is AWESOME. Woohoo!!

SueSue, My only advice to you is to do the best you can not to worry about it, since there's nothing you can do to change it. 77 lbs isn't that much, so you may be fine. And if you're not, the only alternative is to NOT lose the weight and I think we can all agree that's not the right course of action. I remember worrying about the PS in the early days of banding. I remember worrying about the incisions from banding itself and being concerned if they were "worth it." HA! Seems like such an obvious answer 2 years later. I guess I'm saying I know it's a stage to ask these questions, but do what you can to focus on getting as healthy as possible -- at that point you can assess whether you even HAVE a problem with excess skin. (I'll keep my fingers crossed for you).

You're going to do GREAT with the TT. It's life changing, I swear. WOOHOO! Waiting to have your wife's schedule work out is definitely worth it too. The recovery isn't awful, awful, but having someone really there to support you will make a real difference. I also think you've got a real chance with your insurance company. That's a substantial muscle separation and they respond well (or as well as they ever do) to that. GOOD LUCK on all fronts.

Comepickmeup, I'm so excited for you!! NYU is awesome and I can't wait for January 7th for you. It's going to be GREAT. Please feel free to PM me if you have any questions, particularly about the NYU process, etc. And, start saving NOW for all the clothes shopping you're going to do in NYC. I think I spent about $9-10K on clothes last year (so embarassing) and none of them fit! SO sad, but SO fun. I spent about $5K in one week, the week I got to a 12/14 after my TT. That's when I felt thin for the first time. Of course, I wound up losing 60 more lbs after that...Then when I got to a 10/12, I made the mistake of discoverying BERGDORFS. Oh my....danger, my friend. I still haven't set foot in Barney's EVER. I'm waiting for my last PS so that at least if I go broke, it'll be on things in my final size, whatever that may be! Haha.

I can't wait to hear all about it, Enterprise! Feel better soon and I'm so glad "mom" is coming to take care of you....

Have fun! Force him to walk you through as many scenarios as you can think of -- make a list -- make the most of your time face to face because it might be a while until you get his attention again (calling back with questions rarely works, in my experience, even with my own dad!) Here's what I mean. What if you go in thinking you're going to lose 80 more lbs and you fully vet that scenario with him. But then 40 lbs from now, maybe you decide you've had enough and you just want to maintain your healthy, albeit larger than planned, weight. Would he recommend different procedures then if you'd gotten to -80? Make SURE he doesn't see that as failure, but as a different set of input to work with. Or, on the other end, what if you plan to lose 80 and you actually lose 110? If you're ok with the possibility of needing a revision, is he ok with that, if you want to go ahead with PS at -80? Or will he only operate once your weight is stable for X months? (I hate that attitude, as much as I understand it.) These things may not apply to you -- I use them as examples to make my point that you may want to think through things to ask questions, even if you don't think those scenaria are particularly likely.... Fill us in when you're back!

Sure -- both of these pics are elsewhere on this thread, but maybe it helps to put them together and crop them so that it's easy to compare -- wow, I hadn't done that before. My "after" looks like I stretched my length with photoshop or something, doesn't it!

OK, Betty -- I've got to tell you, I was expecting worse. Now that you've got your mojo back and you know your weight, you're going to do great. I hear you on not being "cured." I KNOW I'll never be cured and food will always haunt me. It haunts me less than it did last year and hopefully will less this time next year, but I have no illusions of it ever going away. I think I've come to accept that. But what I will never do again (and I'm truly talking to myself here and not to you) is not know my weight for more than just a few days (and certainly never more than a week, barring a crazy long vacation on a boat or something like that). I got to 358 by pretending scales and mirrors don't exist. Even when I HATE IT and KNOW I've let food get the best of me, I get on the scale at least twice a week and that's something I've just vowed to do for myself, forever. I say that because typing it makes me recommit to it. I took a slew of pictures tonight (mostly to try and get something good for match.com, which I'm going to join again even though the sort-of-boyfriend is sort-of back) and I really do think I need to lose just a few more pounds before I pack it in and call it maintenance. My entire body just looks the slightest bit plump. It's not really a complaint, just that I was wondering if it was a head thing or a reality thing, and I think it's a reality thing. So I'm going to lose 5 more lbs and re-evaluate. I'm going to try to do it before my last surgery, so it's back to calorie counting and exercise for me. And sleep. So I'm off to it.

You might find it interesting to do a search on starvation mode -- it's much discussed on the forums. There's no real data on it either way, it seems. I personally don't believe in it FOR MY BODY, though I'm open to the fact that some people's bodies may behave differently. I think as long as you're getting adequate Protein to sustain your muscle mass and adequate Vitamins and minerals (which can be done on about 700 cals/day), weight loss is all about cals in versus cals out and 2 meals a day is FINE. But I'm not a doctor. Read the past posts -- I think you'll enjoy the debate!

Betty, I think you should consider telling us how much you've gained. I won't press you on it if you don't want to, but putting it in black and white might help you and I know it would help us as a team to know what can and does happen, you know? My biggest "gain" since being banded was when I went from 147 to 161. It was after a long run (they make you retain about 4-5 lbs), during my cycle and after about 5 days (that's all it took) of "giving up" on bandster rules and eating whatever I wanted. 14 lbs in 5 days! It came off in about a week, but it's scary to know that (and more) can -- and does -- happen. It's a part of bandster reality. What's going on with your half marathon training? Are you still planning on doing the race this spring? I've got to get signed up for some races myself....

Oh Niki, thank YOU for your kind words. You made my day. My head has been playing fat girl tricks on me today and you've just done it a world of good!