JulieNYC

I had a similar experience with a pair of jeans this weekend. They were the smallest pants in my closet and I remember the last time I wore them back in 1999. Tried them on yesterday (had been waiting for fear they'd still be too small) and I could take them off without unzipping them. OOPS! Body image problems, table for one! I love this. I'm going to try to love my shadow too then. Then it seems the natural next step is to love the reflection in the mirror, right? Moe, I think at some point we have to listen to what the "charts" say, or our doctors say about our goal weights, because our heads can't do the job for us (then, I'm sure we can judge once we're there). What does the BMI chart say is a good weight for your height? Shesays, I do all those things too, and on the advice of my doctor. I drink probably 3 diet cokes a week. My doc (who is banded) says it's medically impossible for carbonation to strech a pouch on an empty stomach. There are holes on both ends for the air to escape. He said it can make you feel funny and if it does, you might choose not to drink it, but it won't hurt you. He feels the same way about NSAIDs -- that they're bad for all stomachs, but that they're not any worse on a bandster than on a non-bandster. Of course, the smart money on this forum is always the sage counsel of "follow what YOUR doctor says" and I believe that. For what it's worth, very reputable surgeons offer different advice (as I'm sure you know).

Jachut, I break the run up into segments and I always run the middle part of a long run somewhere I've never run before. So, I run about 2 miles, then I listen to music for about 4 miles, then I run through somewhere I've never seen before (there are several hundred trails in Central Park, so I won't run out anytime soon -- I found an English Garden today that I didn't know existed -- felt like I was in Europe for a minute) for about 3 miles, then I listen to music again until I'm home. Plus, I get to eat one single serving of Skittles when I'm running a long run (pure carbs needed after mile 7), so I'm usually (sadly) pretty excited about that, which keeps me going for a few miles too (sad that Skittles still make me happy). I actually like the long runs more than the short ones. I'm slow, but I feel my best around mile 8, where I think most people feel that rush around mile 3. Betty, I do the same thing with my ticker. It says my lowest, unless I've really done something to merit gaining, then I'll adjust it upwards. Otherwise, it's too demoralizing to change it one day, retain a pound of Water despite a perfect diet the next, and have to up the ticker. Nope. Not the rules I play by. I'm so glad you're back to your NIA and feeling better with no fill. Get in your exercise as you have been, take it easy with the food and stay accountable to the scale and you'll be fine. I feel your sentiments about being scared how much we rely on the band. I think about that with all my PS planned. Like, what happens if I lose my band? Because it's a certainty I'd gain. I do have a plan though. If, heaven forbid I ever lose my band and can't be rebanded, I'm converting to a vertical sleeve. Hopefully it'll never happen though. Traveling on business tomorrow and Tue, but will check in with you all when I get home. Nite.

Nope, not gonna happen. Your body has GOT to cave soon and I'm pretty sure mine's done losing for the month (I lose great the week after my cycle, then nothing or piddly amounts the rest of the month). How tall are you, Boo? It just doesn't seem right that you've been on this plateau for so long, with all the working out you do. Have you tried shaking up your diet for a day or two (whether eatine more, less, or different foods -- I don't know) and see if that helps? I ran 11 miles today. I was SLOW but it wasn't too bad. I'm definitely the tortus, but the distances aren't killing me yet, so maybe I'll win the race. I'm feeling better about the body image stuff. I think it was flipping into the 160s. To me, that's a completely normal weight. I probably feel that way because the least I've weighed since high school was in the 170s. I felt good there, but I would have still checked the "fat" box and not the "thin" box, given a binary choice. 160 is not "thin" at 5'2, but it seems completely normal to me. More thin than fat. Normal is good. It's just so odd that my head got wonky there for a minute.

I've got to say, the Bugg did help me break my 2 month plateau. I was at 172 for 2 months. Mostly my fault -- I wasn't tracking cals in. Still getting a lot of exercise, but not maximizing it. Anyway, today -- 4 days into the Bugg -- 167. PFOOY on the plateau! I'll show you who's boss! Wink.

It's going to be my goal today and over the days to come to try and identify more with what Chickie is saying here. Part of me can appreciate that already. I, too, will do basically the same thing every day that I did a year ago. My profession is still rewarding and lucrative. I travel to nice places. I have a good relationship with my parents and siblings. I have a great best friend and enjoy my hobbies (sewing and scuba diving). The part I still have to work on is mourning the part of my 20s where I let my obesity get me off track with developing relationships with men. It's not that I'm oh so old (I'm 34) that I can't still have a family of my own, but it's more that my body and my mind/life experience don't match up right now. Meaning, I'm a 34 year old woman. But I have the life experience, men wise, of an 18 year old. And, sometimes, I act like an 18 year old in my new body, and I don't like acting like that. OK, this is all the emotional work I can do for now. I'm going out for a walk. It's a beautiful day in NYC and I'm going to go put on a size 8 red dress and head out to explore the city.

I'm so glad this topic came up. I had a pretty major freak-out over this issue last night. Like an actual panic attack. It was the first time I'd felt this way -- like maybe I don't want to lose any more weight because I know I can live with my body and its imperfections now, but if my legs get any worse, I don't know how I'll deal with that. This freak-out occurred because I'd read there were a bunch of pre/post PS pics over on obestiyhelp.com's plastics forum. I'd never spent much time there, so I figured I'd go check it out. Well, I didn't get past the first page. I hit on the pics of a girl who lost exactly what I will have lost -- to the pound -- at goal. It freaked me out. (For those who don't know me, keep in mind I'm approaching the 200 lb lost marker, so don't let my fears scare you if you didn't start in the "super obese" category.) If I'm going to look like that in 30 more pounds, I just don't know that that's what I want. I think I may look better now that she does after her PS. And her PS looked horrifically painful. Now, I'm already post-TT/BL and it wasn't so bad. But the leg surgery looks AWFUL (in terms of the recovery). I'll go through it if I have to, but I don't think I look SO bad now, where I fear for what I'll look like, even post-op, at "goal." The thing is, it's just a freak-out -- it's not reality. The reality is, though she and I have similar body types and weight loss numbers, when I look at my skin compared to hers, my skin is just in a lot better condition. Yes, I have stretch marks in some places and a fair amount of loose skin, but her skin was pocked all over with stretch marks. And she was probably 10 years older than I am, and she was a bypass patient (I think malabsorption has something to do with skin condition). Her PS was good, and she looks wonderful for where she came from -- it just really freaked me out, as you can tell. So, the end of the story is that I woke up this morning and had dropped 3 lbs overnight (that's my pattern, nothing then a big jump). I still celebrated. And, I'm still going all the way for goal. BRING IT ON.

Annie, I see you're sitting on the century marker -- congratulations! Chickie, OF COURSE you're welcome on this thread. Please, lead the way! I think I'm spending too much time on the forums and I think it's related to being close to goal. Like what in the heck and I going to do with myself once I'm no longer trying to lose weight. I guess I'll be trying to maintain weight, or trying to gain weight like Chickie. Sometimes I don't feel like I do much outside of weightloss. This isn't really true (I work, I have thin friends, hobbies), but sometimes it's how I feel.

Cold things make some people's bands contract. Other people find it soothing on an upset band. I say do what feels right to you. If you feel fine chomping, chomp away!

OK, I totally walked home from work today (I usually take the bus or a cab) -- 3 miles -- solely to see the numbers on my body bugg go up. WOOHOO, what a motivator! (Chimboree, most of us are really new to the BB. While you're saving up, tell yourself that you're waiting 3 or 4 weeks to make sure we're all still as enthusiastic about it once the novelty wears off. Does that help?)

Yeah, the "s" word (skinny) and the "t" word (thin) are so foreign to me. Actually, I haven't gotten the "s" word yet, but several people have used the "t" word. It's the weirdest feeling. I've never been thin. I'm still not thin, but to some people I am. The context is, I'm at a new job. I've only been with the firm for 6 weeks. A group of office assistants were talking in the hall about a diet one of them was trying. I was trying to be friendly and get to know some of my co-workers, so I tried to get in on the conversation. One of the ladies was like "yeah, but you're thin, so what would you know about it." (It didn't come across mean like it probably does here). I was like a deer in the headlights. Almost none of my colleagues know the old me. For the most part, this is a good thing. In a way, I get to see what life is like for thin people, not formerly fat people. On the other hand, I had an extremely hard time (and still am) adjusting to this job. At least a small part of the adjustment was the fact that no one here KNOWS me. How can you know me at all and not know what I've been through over the last year? Even if I told them, they still wouldn't really get it, not having been with me at 350+. It's really not a complaint. It's just something I'm going through while Passing for Thin....

This whole forum is jumping for joy with you! I'm so happy for you. WOOHOO!

Well, I got in my exercise this morning -- 4 mile run with my friend Bob. I so enjoy running with other people. It was also the kind of day where if I didn't have plans to meet a friend, I would have stayed in bed. I plan to walk home from work too (3 miles) because I'm 0.4 lbs away from moving down a "decade" in weight. Come on 160s!!! Today is a pretty good day, body image wise. My body has changed again in the last 5 lbs. My shoulders are really standing out and my collar bones are visible at the center of my throat, not just the part that's closer to my shoulder (if that makes sense). I don't remember ever being at a weight where my whole collar bone showed. Of course, the skin issues on my arms and legs gets worse with every pound lost. If I do pushups (my trainer forces the on me), gravity makes it so that my arms actually wrinkle in the front (across the biceps)-- not just the typical "bat wings" (behind the triceps) we all complain about. Come on December (PS)....

Well, my BodyBugg was right on track with the scale this morning. I only have 0.4 to lose to drop down into the next weight "decade" so you'd better bet I'm going to do the math on that today! I hope it's as consistent tomorrow....I don't trust it (or really, more my body) yet.

I would get this checked out immediately. My non-medical opinion/concern would be whether I had a port infection. Is it hot to the touch? Now my port definitely bothers me because it sticks out so much -- I'm going to look into getting a low profile. But it doesn't hurt unless I hit it, so it doesn't hurt during exercise. If I lay flat on my stomach on a hard surface, I feel pressure there, but not pain, per se. Pain is always an indication that something is awry. Check it out with your doctor, is my advice. And keep us posted....

Congratulations!! Woohoo! I can't wait to join you at GOAL!

I was 5'2 and 358. BMI of 68 when I got banded. To me, the difference in 250 and 350 was both physical and emotional. Emotionally, there are a LOT of people who are 250. A lot. So you're not alone in your fatness. At 350, there was very rarely someone in the room my size or larger. Almost never. Emotionally, that's hard to accept. Emotionally, I disconnected from life because I didn't fit in life anymore. I didn't fit in a booth or a movie theater or an airplane. I remember the day when I didn't have to turn sideways to walk in my bathroom anymore without my hips touching both sides of the doorframe. (For those who need a little pick-me-up at this point, I ran 5 miles straight yesterday). Physically, I would want a nurse to know that hygene is an issue for the super obese. I didn't rent the apartment I really wanted in NYC because the toilet was too close to the sink for me to be able to have good hygene. I couldn't sleep flat on my back -- too much weight on my chest. I couldn't tie my shoes without putting my leg up on something. As for my feelings about smaller bandsters, I never had any negative feelings. I don't think confronting 200+ lbs to lose is the same journey as someone with 100- to lose. But the need for the journey is the same. I actually think they should lower the BMI requirements. I think many more people struggle with food issues than have to and would benefit from the band. There's a limit somewhere, of course, but it's lower than 40 for me. Anyway, I don't know what else you're looking for, but I'm glad to help if I can.

Julie is right -- go get a fill, now! Then, once you're at your "sweet spot" if you can hang in there for about 3 days to detox from the carbs, you'll be amazed at how your cravings will almost disappear. Run to your surgeon and get that band working! You can do it.

Thanks for the post, Betty. I'd wondered what happened to her after the book was published. The book will make you sad, but she's an excellent writer. I wonder if it would make me less sad now that I'm Passing For Thin. Probably not. Lost youth is a big theme for me, and it was for her too. The best I can do is to try not to dwell on it.

I truly think that's quite realistic She_Smiles, and I bet you achieve at least that. Keep your Water intake up and moisturize where you feel you need it.

Betty, I know this is completely between you and Alan, but have you considered having a panniculectomy rather than a full tummy tuck, kind of as a compromise? I BELIEVE that procedure is only about 1.5 hours, as opposed to the 4 a TT can be. It would take off the excess skin but not do the "bikini perfect" muscle work. It doesn't involve moving the belly button or anything. It's the kind of thing my Dad would do in his office OR under a heavy local sedation, rather than in the hospital under general. I would think a heavy local sedation would make Alan feel much, much better, no? I really think it would be all you'd really want as well. In all candor, Alan doesn't understand what carrying around a pannus is like. It is SO LIBERATING to be without it and I want that for you, if you want it for yourself. If not -- for whatever reason --, that's ok too.

OK, I'm with the rest of you. I'm a BUGG ADDICT and it's only been 2 days! This thing is so cool. It motivated me to clean my house last night while watching tv rather than sit on the sofa. Then I jumped rope for 10 minutes just before bed -- not enough to sweat, just enough to burn a quick 50 cals or so. So cool! I'll be interested to see how closely the scale matches what the bugg says. I know I'll have to judge it more weekly (or monthly) than daily -- I tend to lose nothing then lose 3 or so lbs all in one chunk. I know my input is very accurate at the moment -- I only eat things I know the calorie content of (just for a couple of weeks while I'm breaking this plateau -- normally I do regular things too, like eat out). What I question is the accuracy of the bugg on what I burn. It seems spot on, but I don't understand the science behind it. I saw somewhere that it is advertised as being 92% accurate, which would be GREAT if that's true, but apparently they didn't test this exact model (if the article is to be believed) -- they tested a model that also used a heart rate monitor. Anyway, I'm enjoying it, and if anyone has seen a good article on the science/accuracy of the bugg, I'd love to see it.

Brooks Running - Women's Apparel - Sport Tanks & Bras: Pro-Support Bra This running bra changed my life. It comes in D and DD. It's expensive but I would have paid 5X the price, knowing what I know now. It made such a difference for me the first time I put it on. Brooks Running - Women's Apparel - Sport Tanks & Bras: Pro-Fit Bra This bra is what I use now that I'm a C. It's equally as good, but without the wire. It only fits B & C. Again, I'm a fan. Not for one second wearing those bras have I ever thought I might be hurting my breast lift. My breasts really don't move in them. I'll ask my Dad the next time I talk to him, but I'm sure he'll say running is not a problem with the right bra. Boo -- I used to double and triple bra to run as well. I don't know if the Brooks sizes fit you, but if they do, make the investment!

You should be getting near the end of it. I was REALLY concerned at the stage you're at. It does stop -- I promise. I lost about 1/3 of my hair between months 4-6, then it slowed and stopped. Once it stopped, within a month my hair was fuller again, and by the year mark, I could tell no difference in my pre-band/post-band head of hair. I know it's scary, but it will stop. It doesn't stop all at once -- it's gradual. I don't know what causes it either. I think it's rapid weight loss, whether by surgery or otherwise. I don't think it's lack of Protein, because like you, I get plenty. I also don't think it's anesthesia, because I've never had this with any other surgery. Anyway, it does stop.

She_Smiles, Don't give up hope with your skin. It's only been 7 months since your surgery and you haven't stabilized yet. They say that skin can take a couple of years to shrink to the full extent it's going to. I think there's hope for your stomach. For what it's worth, my Dad (who's a plastic surgeon) advised me to wear "spanx" type underwear as much as possible to help with the skin issues. He says the compression helps in the long run. I think wondering "how did I let myself get that way" is part of our journey. I often feel sad for the old me. Sad that I missed out on so much during my 20s. Sad that my closest romantic relationships were in high school and early college. Sad that I need so much plastic surgery. Sad over so many things. But that's only a small piece of what I feel. Mostly, I'm happy and proud of my accomplishments, as we all should be. I ran 5 miles today and it was no big deal at all. Last year this time, I couldn't run 5 feet.

The vast majority of people don't feel restriction until their second or third fill. It doesn't sound like you have any symptoms of a slip. You just clearly need a fill. Maybe two. It's not time to give up yet, you're just not using your tool yet.