MyDay2Shine

Well Donna, your happy ending posts got my hubby's attention he started reading over my shoulder, and laughing his head off. So I told him he could read the whole thread. I warned him he may not like it. By the time he made it through my original post he was falling off his chair laughing. It's a good thing he gets my sense of humor! Anyway it got the conversation rolling. I knew he wouldn't be mad at me for shredding the magazine, but he did appreciate all of the posts coming from different perspectives. We were able to discuss each person's post and how we felt about it, you know like which posts are true, funny, helpful, just out right crazy... . Hubby says if I ever find porn again I have his permission to shred it :tt2:, I promised not to shred it with out talking to him first. He agreed that what he had was pretty hard core. He was most disturbed by Beth's post about his baby girl in 8 years. I was a little worried he might be annoyed that I was debating this on LBT, but he wasn't at all. Thanks all :tongue2:

:thumbup:CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!:thumbdown: I'm so happy for you! If your bariatric clinic is anything like mine they are working on it but the seem to take their sweet time . It's ok, your approved! Celebrate!

Melolo-I completely agree that a discussion would have been much more mature-I acted before I took time to think about how I felt. If I thought what I did was completely justified I wouldn't have asked how everyone here felt about it! I have been contemplating having my husband read this entire thread. I know if I were to ask him about the magazine (by the way it was just one) he would automatically apologize and not think about how he really feels about it. He rarely disagrees with me to my face, we never get mad or argue with each other. Neither one of us likes confrontation-so I thought if he reads the thread he will see some people agree with me and some with him. We are a great team and have a wonderful life. We come from really different places. I have had a lot of life experience and he has had very little, so I know at times I can be very hard (think tough love). He does by the way point out when I treat him like a child, and reminds me to back off. With other men I've been with I have NEVER had a problem with them going to strip clubs, adult movies, magazines. When I first met my husband I didn't mind that stuff either, then my husband did something no one has ever done. He made me let him in, he made me trust him, love him and depend on him. And that makes me feel really vulnerable. I think he is the most amazing person in the world and the first person to ever really love and care about me. And the first person I have ever depended on. I think this is the first time in my life I have felt like I could say no. In past relationships I felt like the guys "needed" strip clubs, movies, magazines and other stuff because I was so worthless/unattractive. Now because my hubby makes me feel like I am worthy of his love, I think it makes me feel really vulnerable. I HATE FEELING VULNERABLE. Those feeling of inferiority came back when I saw the magazine. Its also funny that every single close friend (that knows us both) has confessed to doing the same thing with their husbands. For example: busted adult DVDs, a piece left on each step in the house, playboy magazines tossed in the fire, smashed up home movies (okay he deserved that one, it was with an ex). I don't know if it is who my friends are or where we live, but these are some beautiful, confident, freaky in the bedroom (tmi) kind of women, that all reacted the same way as me. I'm not saying I was right-I'm just saying I'm really glad to have people here to tell me how they feel. I always value both sides to every story. Thanks!

The truth is I'm not sure what bothers me exactly , I just know it did. But the fact that the information came from my daughter is the MOST bothersome. (That she could have seen).

Sunwyse, You may be on to something there. I have actually asked him to treat me like that, but he acts uncomfortable with it. I think I may have come off like a bit of a prude . I'm the one that was wild-he was the one that wanted to settle down. Don't get me wrong marrying him is the BEST thing I have ever done. At no point today was I angry with him, I was just irritated. I've talked it over with 2 close friends that know us both and they think shredding the magazine was hilarious. But they also said I really need to talk to him. I don't want to talk to him though. What am I supposed to say "sorry hon at some point when you weren't looking I turned into a jealous spaz?":lol:

I'm so happy with the feedback. To be honest I thought more people were going to agree with me, or find it funny. It is good for me to hear the truth. I do tend to treat him like a child sometimes, and I need to stop. I used to not care about his magazines and dvds, but he got sloppy and he was leaving them around the house. You can't do that when you have kids. Every guy I know has this stuff, I just like to think that my husband is different. From what I know about men and porn, it really has nothing to do with his relationship with me, he just likes it.

I tossed the bag out with the shreds. Also I did not search his work truck, I wouldn't do that, I just opened the trunk of our mutual car. We have a Jeep and an Elantra, I usual drive the Jeep and he usually drive the car, but they both belong to both of us. I don't know, I'm still torn, I keep giggling to myself about it:lol:, then I feel bad for destroying his property.

A good place to start is attending a bariatric surgeon's seminar, or asking your primary doctor for a referral.

Hi CarreBarre, I'm in Lake Geneva, Wi so I'm not too far from Chicago! I completed a 3 month supervised diet Oct. 15, I thought I would be banded in Nov or Dec, but it looks more like Jan or Feb now. I'm 30 and married with a 10 year old daughter. I am a L&D nurse, so good luck with the nursing school, I know how hard it is! Nice to meet you, good luck with everything!

Hi ladybyrd, I sent you a privet message about your question. I'm going through the program at Sinai for Dr.Chua too. I just finished a 3-month diet and now I'm waiting for my first appointment with Dr.Chua. I'm happy to talk with you any time! :rolleyes2:

Hi Pam, I starting using the daily plate. It is a website that you can log your food intake and it counts your calories for you. It's free, it took me a couple of days to really get the hang of it, but it worked out really well. I printed it out by the week and was able to give the printouts to my dietitian during my supervised diet. It's pretty cool, you program it and it helps you calculate how many calories you should be eating and you can also calculate your exercise too. I got the idea here at lapbandtalk, a lot of post op bandsters use it to keep track of there intake. I get to the daily plate from a related web site livestrong.com, you can do it either way. I hope this helps you!

Hi! Hiatial hernias are really common especially in obese people. I don't think you should have much to worry about there. Your surgeon will probably fix it if he/she needs to. I'm having a really hard time waiting too. I have been working on this since June! I'm now waiting on insurance pre approval, then I will FINALLY get to meet with the surgeon. I'm trying to be patient, but I am going crazy just waiting around for the phone to ring!:bored:I hope you get your date soon, hang in there.

Hi Oblong, It took my Primary 3 weeks to write my referral letter. I was going crazy wanting to get the show on the road. That was back in July. I had a conversation with her recently and I think she was taking so long because she was researching the Lap band, she told me a few weeks ago that Lap band is the ONLY bariatric surgery she would ever support her patients in pursuing. I could be wrong but I got the idea that she just wanted to know what exactly she was referring me for, and ultimately she decided to do the referral. I think if I were in your place and my primary was not doing what I needed, I would find a new primary. Perhaps the bariatric clinic could recommend a primary that works well with banded patients? Just a thought. Good luck to you and finding your way through this process. Don't give up!:eek:

RestlessMonkey, You have such wonderful well stated advice. I have never come across a post/reply from you that hasn't impressed me. You are always kind, well informed and willing to share things in an understandable way. As an RN, I just wanted to let you know that I have come to really value what you have to say. Thanks!

Hi Puffy, Have you ever had a problem with your gall bladder? Some times that can feel like pressure under your breastbone that radiates and comes and goes (colicky). I have heard others say it scares them that it is their heart. Just a thought. I hope you feel better soon!

Hi Julie! I am so glad to hear that your family is supportive. That can make all of the difference. How long until your insurance kicks in? Once it kicks in I would call again. Do you have a coverage book? That might help you get some idea. Have you been in contact with a bariatric clinic? Sometimes they are very helpful. I am also waiting/hoping to be approved. I have a little more than two months left on a 3 month supervised diet. The fact that you have been going to your primary for wt checks might really help you speed things along. I hope you the very best. Good luck!-Kristal

It is common to start having VERY heavy periods in your early to mid forties. You may want to check with your GYN. If it continues you may want to have something done about it. They might want to check on how much blood your losing. This is a really common age that I find women have a hysterectomy or an ablation. It never hurts to have your Doc check it out, and investigate your options. Good luck!

I am so happy for you! Good luck, I can't wait to hear more as you go..:party:

Okay, so this isn't rude so much as unprofessional. At my psych eval the psychologist recommended I see her again before surgery or find a therapist closer to home. So I made an appointment at a therapists office in my hometown. I recognized the womans voice on the phone as someone I used to work with. (She was a very nice but kind of flighty woman, she is also very overweight) She asked me a few questions over the phone including why I was seeking therapy. I just said that I will be having bariatric surgery, and wanted someone to talk to throughout out the process. They asked me to come into the therapists office to fill out insurance paperwork. When I arrived to fill out the paperwork it was in fact the woman I used to work with. After I filled out the paperwork I walked up to the receptionist desk to had it in. She was at the desk with another receptionist and I was standing in the lobby. As I handed her the paperwork and she asks me why I decided to do it. I just looked at her, I smiled but I was a little confused. I could feel the other receptionist suck in her breath and hold it. The woman I know said "you know like what kind of surgery are you going to have?". Now I know that she was not being rude she really wanted to know for her own knowledge. But anyone that knows anything about mental health or therapy is that everything is supposed to be VERY CONFIDENTIAL! Now I really don't like to make people feel uncomfortable so I answered all of her questions and gave her my surgeons name for her own use and I cracked a couple of jokes, I even relaxed the other receptionist a little. She wanted to know why I decided to do it, so I quickly explained that my husband and I would really like to have a baby and we have already had a couple of miscarriages and that weight loss can really help. I acted like it was no problem sharing all this with her, and the truth is I don't mind, but I'm sorry it is way too personal of a conversation to be having with my future therapists receptionist in the lobby! I don't want to get her into trouble, but I really hope the other receptionist told her how unprofessional she was! I mean I really have only discussed these things with my closest family members. Well as soon as another patient walked in the door I quickly waved goodbye and walked out. I sure hope she remembers the HIPPA laws and doesn't talk about this with people I still work with! I want to tell people when I'm ready .

You should call your Doc., it is never normal to pass out. Have you ever checked your blood sugar? If eating something helps, it sound more like a blood sugar problem than a blood pressure problem. As far as I know eating does not increase your blood pressure, drinking large quantities can increase your blood pressure. I would definitely call your Doc. Good luck to you!

Hi! I know everyone's insurance is different, but when I was at my information session the bariatric clinic I go to really stressed the fact that MANY people are denied at first. A guest speaker told of how he was denied FIVE times before he got approved. The number one thing they stressed was DON'T GIVE UP! I would have hoped that the person who handles the insurance would be more helpful. I'm sorry that is happening to you. Don't give up, keep us posted on what transpires.

Thanks everyone for all the input. I do know that the bariatric clinic submits my highest weight, but they don't submit until after my 3 month supervised diet. So the dietitian was just concerned if I drop my BMI much below 40 they could deny me. She said she really does not know, who will or will not be approved, it is anyones guess, she just wanted me to be aware. I work for the same hospital system I am going to (only beriatric clinic in the system) so the bariatric clinic seems to be very familiar with my insurance. I called the insurance company myself and they were very vague, she just said that they work with this Doc all the time (since he is the only one employees can go to) and that the bariatric clinic will tell me what I need to do to get approval. As of right now I think I will wait until my next dietitian appointment and then ask her to make sure my height is correct. For now I'm going to focus on exercises that build muscle, and try to lose like 2-3 lbs until I see the dietitian next month. At that time I will ask again how much weight I can lose and still be approved. I just know that insurance companies do what every they can not to have to pay:mad2:. Do I sound paranoid or what:scared2:?

My question is how much effort should I put into my 3 month supervised diet? I am feeling very motivated and want to give it my all. I have two reasons to think maybe I should take it easy. The first one is I'm 5'6" but the MD measured me wrong and documented that I am 5'7.25"(I told her she was wrong and she argued with me). I had the dietitian remeasure me and she agreed that I am in fact 5'6". She said she would change it, but if the insurance company gets a hold of the wrong height, it really changes my BMI:angry:! So my second concern is that my starting BMI (assuming we use the 5'6" for my height) was 42.1, now after losing 6lbs it is down to 41.6. So if I lose 10 lbs more I'll be below a BMI of 40. My dietitian said my insurance company needs to know I'm ready to make changes (I'm so ready) but if I lose too much weight they might deny me because I don't need the band to lose. Not to mention if the insurance company gets a hold of that wrong height my BMI would be 40 right now! I feel so stuck! I've been obese all of my life and I'm so excited to have the band to help me, it makes me sad to think I could be denied for trying too hard! I would really love to hear as many opinions as possible. Thank you I know I've rambled on...

I wonder if this could be some very early signs of gall bladder pain? Just a thought. I hope you feel better!