Banded in KS

A friend of mine sent these poems to me today and I could not believe how I connected with these words! Let me know if you do. Out of Hell By Barbara Rice So many nights, I whimpered and cried, Thought my prayers had all been denied. Stuffing my feelings, ashamed of my plight, Trying to stop with all of my might. Shoving in cold spaghetti at three in the morning, Frying shrimps by the time the daylight was dawning. Drinking gallons of soda, my heart wildly beating, Hating myself, ‘cause I couldn’t’ stop eating. The monster in me would come out to play, And as much as I begged him, he wouldn’t go away. Morning would come, and that is when The whole vicious cycle would start once again. Tears would be streaming, I felt like a cow, I wanted to stop, but I didn’t know how. Boarding a plane, and seeing the fear In the eyes of others…”Don’t let her sit here!” Walking a block and feeling such pain, That I went right back home to start eating again. “Your face is so pretty! Start using your head! Just eat smaller portions,” my family said. “Put down the fork! Push back from the table!” My friends would say – But I wasn’t able. “Willpower’s the secret! We’ll help you get through it! TRY HARDER,” they urged – But I couldn’t do it. I tried every diet to get back on track; I’d lose weight and then just gain twice as much back! Every morning I’d pray, “God let me be good…” Then I’d fail once again – and no one understood. Each new day would bring another attempt, Each evening would bring still more self-contempt. Filled with loathing, and such awful remorse, I was simply unable to get back on course. Overwhelmed with this state of awful depression, Giving in to this dark, paralyzing obsession I thought to myself, “You’ll always be fat. Accept it, move on! Learn to live with that fact!” Questioning God and wondering why, Positive that I was destined to die. Yet something inside me was whispering, “No! There MUST be a way. It HAS to be so.” I felt a new Wendy was waiting inside, And it was her voice I permitted to guide. I knew I could no longer go on this way Desperate and dying, bit by bit, day by day. So I got on my knees, and prayed for relief, Then God sent a miracle to lessen my grief. A way to stop eating, so crazy I thought, Went against everything I had been taught. This was my last option, I felt like a jerk If this didn’t do it, then NOTHING would work! So I trusted the doctors, wholly and blindly, And my God smiled down, completely and kindly. An unorthodox treatment, but working so well, To help lift me out of this ongoing hell. A surgical wonder, that acts as a tool To battle the fat, which has made life so cruel. So as scared as I was, I knew I’d get through it Since I was so much more afraid not to do it. And it went very smoothly, and I’m convinced that The pain was less than the pain of this fat. Nothing could hurt more than being this size, While seeing the pity in everyone’s eyes. That part of my life is over and done, But I’ll never forget the place I came from. I’ll always be grateful, I’ll always be driven To bestow upon others the support I’ve been given. The obsession has lifted. I’m whole and I’m free. God and my surgeon gave my life back to me. I’ve learned to eat slowly and I’ve learned how to chew Enjoying my food, as normal folks do. I eat when I’m hungry, I stop when I’m not, Being fat, in this life, will not be my lot. I eat not for sport, but just to survive, My whole life is changing – I’m so glad I’m alive! I will reach the goal that I’m aiming toward, I’ve truly been blessed…Thank You, Dear Lord. The peace that I feel is calming and true, And for those who still suffer…I wish it for you. MONSTER Barbara Rice A monster lived inside of me Insidious, dark beast One who made me stuff food down Not caring in the least, How much I hurt, how bad I felt He wanted me to die I couldn’t make him go away No matter how I’d try. I ate all day, I ate all night The food consumed my life It’s complications broke my heart And filled my soul with strife. I begged my monster, “GO AWAY! Please just let me be!” But he heard not a single word – He wanted ALL of me. I’d moan while shoving cheesecake down I’d shake while scarfing pie I’d eat spaghetti through my tears, Knowing I’d soon die. I couldn’t stop, I HAD to eat I’d break each daily vow, Of diets and of food control; The monster owned me now. Chinese food at 3:00 A.M. Sandwiches all night People judging, thinking that I’d created my own plight. Not getting that it wasn’t I Who made me eat this way But a hideous, black monster Consuming me each day. Then one day my prayers were heard This monster was cut out And finally, I got to see What freedom is about My angel-surgeon saved my life His scalpel was a wand He scooped the evil monster out And finally broke the bond. So now I’m living day to day Without the awful fears Of madness that my monster caused, Without the pain and tears. I’ve lost the weight, my monster’s dead My heart is finally free And now I’m taking time I need To finally nurture me

I had a strange experience yesterday. I went running for the first time in a LONG time. Anyway, while I was running I felt like there was something pulling down on the back of my throat every time I put my foot down. I thought it was really weird. I was wondering if anyone else had ever felt anything like this and if it could be band-related? Also, I coughed for hours after...I emailed my surgeons nurse and she had never heard of anything like this. She thought maybe reflux, but what does reflux feel like? ...what are the symptoms? :uwelcome:

This is the best thing I have read in quite some time!! LMAO. Love it!!!

Robyn, Add me to the list. I did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :Bunny :roll: :whoo: :becky: :eek: :confused:

Yes! I experience this every month. If you are going to, this is the week to ignore the scale completely!

I have heard that natural red heads can sometimes require more anethesia...so maybe recovery is tied to that. I don't know the science behind it though.

Donna, I don't know if I qualified as severe, but... before surgery I suffered from heartburn/acid reflux 5 to 6 days a week. I carried pepcid on me, kept it at work and of course at home. EVERYTHING I ate seemed to give me heartburn. I can not tell you what an amazing difference it is after surgery. I don't need the pepcid anymore!!!! :clap2: I do hear that some people suffer from acid reflux if they overeat with the band or are too tight. Just remember to communicate any and all symptoms with your doctor if you have them after surgery. :gluck:

My surgeon has a terrific nurse in his office that runs a support group. She is constantly reiterating the importance of Protein. Her explanation for stalling weight loss when you don't get your protein was because your body needs to get all it needs to function or it will go into "starvation mode" and try to hang on to every calorie it can. This stalls weight loss. If you give your body the protein it needs, then it has energy to metabolize the stored fat cells. I am not positive on any of this, but it made sense to me. And in the one month that I skipped my Protein shakes, I lost only 1 lb.! I drink a protein shake in the morning that has about 40 g of protein, so that way I know between lunch and dinner... I am definitely hitting 60 easy. It is by Isopure and you can order it from AllStarHealth.com. Has anyone else heard anything different about protein?

Vinesqueen, That is exactly what I meant. Maybe I did not say it correctly. I just don't think it should be said that it is unrealistic. It just depends on too many factors that we don't know about. :eek: I also agree with you on "living the model bandster life". This is such an individual journey. No one has the same experience. I totally admit that I do not keep a food journal, do not count calories, carbs or weigh my food any longer. But my band has helped me with portion control and food choices. I love the fact that my life feels totally normal. Closing in on 100 and ... it's all good!! :biggrin1:

I disagree that this is an "unrealistic" expectation. I just think there are more factors to consider and it can be a completely realistic expectation. I think you need to look at what your total excess weight is (how much you need to lose), how you adjust to your band, how often you work out, and how often you "stray" from quality foods. Sometimes age can be a factor too. But the band is supposed to help people lose 50-60% of their excess--keep that in mind. Two things, IMHO, have helped me to lose as much as I have. First, you have to get your 60-70 g of Protein or your weight loss will stall. It has happened to me. The second... move your body. I work out 3-4 times a week for at least 45 min. I had to work up to that point. When I first started it was only 10 min. I have hit two plateaus so far in 11 months. That is when I know to step up my work out some. It has jump started my weight loss again. I have not hit 100 yet (so close), but I still have 5 weeks before my 1 year anniversary. Just be realistic and Celebrate all your successes!

YES! I went down from 9 1/2 to 8 1/2. This is something else to shop for! I LOVE NEW SHOES!

I have never tried it on bread, because I don't eat much bread...honestly, I am scared to try. I would think that it would work the same, but I am only guessing. I have only had to use the meat tenderizer once. I had a piece of chicken stuck and it was not coming out. I just kept sliming...it was so disgusting! I could not take the pain any longer. I mixed about a teaspoon of the meat tenderizer in about 1/3 coffee cup of luke warm Water. I was only able to swallow maybe a teaspoon or tablespoon of it. That is all it took. It tastes like heavy salt water. Not good, but INSTANT RELIEF...no joke! I hear that people use the papaya extract because it is easier to carry when on the go. Has anyone else tried either of these?

Well, I have done both. I actually prefer working out at home. But right now we have a treadmill, recumbent bike and a weight bench and free weights in my basement (that has a tv and stereo and fan). Works out great for me. I am considering getting an eliptical or a total gym or pilates machine and getting rid of my gym membership. I think the biggest question is, what are your health/work out goals? If you are just interested in doing cardio... go to Sears or a fitness equipment store and try them all out!!! If you are going to be on the machine 3 to 4 times a week, you want to be comfortable on it. Also, check your local garage sales or with friends. A lot of people buy fitness equipment and then don't use them. You may get a good price on a second hand one. If you think you are going to need variety to stick with it and you are interested in weight/strength training besides the cardio...maybe the gym is the best place for you.

Tricia K., I totally understand why you had to ask this question. I am a big time "questioner" when it comes to everything. I really have to question and explore every aspect of something to fully understand the big picture in order to make big decisions (even small ones). I suspect you may be the same way. It is also really hard for me to wrap my brain around the fact that other people aren't like this, even though they are. That is where I think personal responsibility comes into play. But when it came to WLS, even with all the research and weighing the risks...it came down to a gut check decision for me. So, maybe its just that some people make decisions on their gut and gather info. later. Who knows??? :confused:

I used to work out with a personal trainer. Here is some info that she shared with me: Strength training is very important for your body. When you are doing cardio, you only burn calories while your heart rate is elevated (during the activity). With strength training, you are breaking down your muscles and to build back up they have to burn calories. So you burn calories while your body is at rest after weight training. So more lean muscle mass = more calories burned. That is why it is good to not weight/strength train two days in a row. I try to keep that in mind when I am working out.

ttoofun, I try to do strength training 1-2 times a week and cardio 2-3 times a week. Today, I did an hour on the recumbent bike and it said I burned 860 calories. I have been thinking about buying an eliptical. How do you like it? As far as not losing lb's right now... maybe your body is just in a plateau. I hit one for almost two months and was freaking out. Understanding that my body had to adjust to the weight loss helped me come to terms with it. But now I have lost a couple more pounds and they are coming off really slowly now. One suggestion, maybe you can vary your cardio between treadmill, bike and eliptical or swimming. Maybe that would help your body start burning again.

cheese, Cheese, glorious cheese! I have to say I love almost all kinds, but colby jack and sharp cheddar are always in my fridge. :hungry:

Me too. I skipped the first fill. Mostly because I was really scared to do it. I lost 38 lbs. in the first 6 weeks and my surgeon said I did not need it. I was doing fine without it. I, of course, eventually started getting fills and now live happily at my sweet spot. By all means, wait until you need to before you start getting your fills. But just keep in mind that if you have the VG band it can take several fills to reach your "sweet spot" or really good restriction. Keep up the good work!:clap2:

I just told my boss I was having surgery and what days I would be gone. He asked no questions and I did not need to volunteer anything more. I only told two co-workers that I really thought I could trust. One is having the surgery herself soon. I don't normally get into intimate conversations with most people at work, so this is not something I would have been comfortable sharing anyway. I am sure some people have guessed, but I don't care. No one has come out and asked me if I had WLS.

It was totally worth it!!!:bounce: I wish I had done it sooner. If I don't lose another pound, I will still feel like it was worth it. Before surgery, I lived with excruciating back pain everyday. I woke up with it and went to sleep with it. I had sleep apnea. I did not go hardly anywhere other than work. I could not do anything with my daughter. Last weekend, I went to the school skating party with my daughter and put on my rollerblades for the first time in 8 years! I had sooo much fun!!! :banana

My hair fell out for about two months. I was FREAKING OUT!! But, it did stop (or should I say return to normal??) I also have noticed that some is starting to grow back. Here is how it was explained to me: At any time, your hair is in one of three stages: growth, dormant?, and falling out. When your body goes through a major event/shock like child birth or surgery, it puts all your hair into the same stage. Hence, you see the large hair loss. I am not sure how much validity there is in this explanation...because I thought it would mean that I would lose ALL my hair...but, luckily, that did not happen. I did increase my Vitamins during the hair loss stage and it did not seem to make any difference...so hang in there. Just like everything else... this too shall pass.

I was in the same boat at 6 months. Completely exhausted all the time...I did not understand it. I called my dr. office and the nurse told me that fatigue was a symptom of anemia. They drew some blood... and yep, I needed Iron. It can take several months to build up in your body, but I feel a lot better. Not LOADS of energy, but I am fickle about keeping up with the two iron pills a day. It may be worth asking for a blood test for them to check your iron levels. :biggrin1:

First, I totally agree that...EPGSHFLYADV is a much better description than productive burp. I wonder who came up with that? Because my experiences, while LUCKILY only a few in 10 months, have been nothing like burps. I wish they had been. Okay, first a suggestion. Carry some meat tenderizer or papaya extract with you where ever you go. I have never tried the papaya extract (I have heard it works), but the meat tenderizer works wonders!! Mix a little in a small amount of Water and swallow (a tsp or tbsp should be enough). In a few minutes, you will feel major relief!!! Second, as you get fills in your band and reach the "sweet spot", you may have to make adjustments on eating choices. The last time I got something "stuck", it really freaked me out. It has made me really think about things that I eat. I think that is the whole point. But, as you live with the band, you are going to find out what works for you. It is a very INDIVIDUAL learning process. Some people can't eat bread and others are fine with it. Some can't eat beef and for others that is a staple. It is hard to wrap your head around. I definitely understand your feelings, but hang in there. I am sure you will find a way to live with your band in a way that works for you. Good luck!

The lap-band was the only choice for me! My mother has had rny and I have watched what a hard time she has had. Complications have put her back in the hospital twice and her weight loss is less than I have had with the band. I am sure overall health and age have a lot to do with that. For me the key reasons for choosing the band over gastric bypass (rny)... 1. the surgery is less risky 2. no cutting and rerouting of organs (my body still works the way God intended it to) 3. adjustable 4. reversible 5. slower weight loss (healthier for my body) 6. I have to change my life/bad habits. #6 is key for me. I actually heard a rny patient say that she chose that surgery because she knew she could cheat and still lose weight. While this is true, it was a deterant for me. In order to have LIFE LONG health, I have to address my issues. If I had rny but never changed my habits, I would just regain the weight. Just do your research and do what you think is right for you. Good luck on your weight loss journey!