Pandemonium

So, I threw together a Spotify playlist to listen to when I do my mostly daily walking for exercise. The songs range ALL over the place, but generally are tracks that I consider to be high energy or have a strong rhythm to keep me moving. I decided to open it up as a Collaborative Playlist the other day and asked friends on Facebook and Twitter to add stuff to it to hopefully increase the variety. And well...hey...I spend a decent amount of time here. This is a type of a social setting with people who are also committed to their weight loss journeys...so why not throw it out there to another audience to see about getting some more songs on that playlist. I am trying to keep it to one song per artist, but that's not a hard and fast rule. Please feel free to add onto my playlist or maybe use it as some inspiration to add to any playlist you might use! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4tt03Hl9KA3evSxNr3iTmF?si=Ml8TUQnDQ1ihnDlHyhg0mA

78 pounds pre-surgery (mid-February 2020 to July 2020) and the rest post-op.

Lean Cuisine has an offshoot called Life Cuisine which has better low-carb options as they swap out the pasta/rice for cauliflower/cauliflower rice. Healthy Choice seems to be expanding in that direction, too, as I've picked up a couple of their bowls that used cauliflower rice instead. I tried the Chicken Tikka Masala one yesterday and it was delicious.

You have the willpower of a saint. That cross-section has me drooling and that 40g would probably disappear in a single bite and leave me fiending for more.

Wasn't feeling very motivated for dinner, so I kept it simple and satisfying. Not pictured: 1 empty bowl.

This recipe will change your life in terms of getting your pizza fix in, while going low-carb and protein packed. I made this many time while I was pre-op and wanting pizza. https://fitmencook.com/low-carb-pizza/ I haven't made it since surgery, but I also stuck to a very slow return to normal food. It will happen soon, though. I also highly recommend the Protein Pizza Crusts that @Uomograsso posted. Those have been a godsend!

I know this pain all too well. I rollercoastered all through December trying to shed the last 10 pounds. I finally hit that goal this morning after 6ish weeks of bouncing up and down. You will get there!

I skipped my weekly weigh in last week given the aftermath of blacking out and my bouncing my head off of my kitchen floor. Weighing in seemed like the least of my concerns. Of course, I haven't exercised in 8 days at this point since it seemed wise to focus on healing and I am pretty sure I'm suffering from a mild concussion, so I didn't want to exacerbate things. Was kind of dreading hitting the scale this morning. Except that I have hit my final weight goal of 180lbs. I'm actually below it by 1.6 pounds. I'm kind of in shock right now (in a good way!) as it's been just under a year since I started this particular journey. I never expected these kinds of results but am absolutely thrilled by them. So if I could just do something about the orthostatic hypotension, that would be the icing on the cake!

In my first few days post-op, I had no trouble with fluids. The biggest obstacle I had was forcing myself to drink slowly. Seriously...drinking 1 ounce of water/Crystal Light/Pedialyte every 15 minutes and making it LAST 15 minutes was absolute torture. But yeah...unless you are guzzling fluids in large quantities and doing it quickly, you're not really going to feel constriction from it. That will ALL change as soon as you start moving towards soft foods. Just listen to your body and learn the new signals that will tell you when to stop. It just takes time and patience.

So I have pretty much been doing nothing but meal replacement again since November, so no fun dinner experiments to be found. Decided today I needed something after a kind of confusing cardio consult brought on my my syncope incident Sunday night. They checked my blood pressure and it was 85/52, which is obviously ridiculously low. So, they are treating me for low blood pressure (even though I have NEVER had low blood pressure any of the times it has been measured post-op). My options were to try medication that would bring my BP up...or to increase my Sodium intake. I opted to try the dietary route (since next week I finally start post-op work with the nutritionist so I'll be moving towards normal foods) because I don't want to contend with medication side effects unless absolutely necessary. Granted, I also don't want to lose consciousness and bounce my head off the floor again either. So tonight I made myself a Mexican Pizza. Taco seasoned ground chicken, taco sauce, and some shredded Mexican 4-cheese blend on a Protein Pizza shell. I should have put the pizza shell in the air fryer for a few minutes on it's own to crisp it up a bit better, but it came out pretty yummy and I am happy with my little culinary treat.

So after 3+ months of advising my doctor that I was having issues with the onset of dizziness upon standing up from the couch, things finally came to a head - my head. Sunday night marked the fourth time I blacked out from standing up and walking after being seated on the couch. The first time, I was able to brace myself against some furniture and stayed upright. The second time, I only managed to sort of brace myself and ended up dropping to my knees. The third time I slumped against a wall and slid down hard onto my knees and elbows. Sunday night, I tried to brace myself against a wall when my vision started going dark, but must have leaned forward too much. Came to on the floor seconds later with blood pouring out of a gash above my eye and the entire left side of my face in utter agony. Oh...and all of my neck muscles screaming from when I have to assume my face hit the floor full speed and my head bounced. 4 hours in the ER with bloodwork that showed no issues, an EKG that was perfect, chest X-rays that revealed nothing, and a CT scan that (fortunately) showed no bone damage or bleeding in the brain. Aggravatingly, my BP also registered as normal, even when they had me do orthostatic readings. I look and feel like hell. Have not slept well the past two nights (last night my upper left teeth hurt). And right now I've got some nerve issues due to the swelling in my face that have made my left nostril almost completely numb. As far as post-op complications go, I am sooooooo over this one. I'll trade it back for the constipation! (Okay, not really because I don't really want to deal with THAT again either). On the plus side, ending up in the ER with a head injury (5 stitches in my eyebrow) seems to have finally gotten my doctor to stop claiming that this crap is normal for bariatric patients and he is finally getting me the cardiac consult that I have been asking for since the first time I blacked out. Less thrilled about this knocking me off track for the time being. I do not feel well enough or comfortable enough to workout on my treadmill, so my exercise is definitely going to suffer this week.

I am so friggin' tired of riding the rollercoaster I have been on the last half of this month. 12/1: -2.2lbs 12/8: -3.6lbs 12/15: +4.0lbs 12/22: -6.0lbs 12/29 - +2.4lbs I realize that the net result is a loss of 5.4lbs for December, but the fact that I am 10lbs away from my final goal is what's demoralizing. I don't have much hope for much weight loss this week as I woke up yesterday morning at 3am running a 101 degree fever and was unable to taste anything. Ended up at the ER by 4:30am to get a COVID test since I appeared symptomatic. Of course, my fever broke by the time I got to the ER. Doctor said my vitals are great and my lungs sound fine, so she doubts it's COVID, but I got tested regardless. Still feeling crummy, so don't think I'll get much exercise in this week. The fact that I largely avoided having any stalls since surgery, the fact that I seem to be in one with the goal line in sight is just infuriating.

I know I haven't been active here the past couple of months. My seasonal depression kicks in in October and this year is no exception. It makes me pretty withdrawn. I have been keeping going on all the post-op work to get to my weight goal, though. I'm definitely beyond fatigued with my diet. When I got unhappy with my weight loss slowing, I took drastic action and cut out the 3 dinners a week I was having. For the past month or so, I've gone back to just protein shakes and protein bars. The sole exceptions to that is allowing myself a couple of slices of deli ham or turkey a day in order to get my protein totals a little higher and the occasional 100cal bag of microwave popcorn. As weary of the lack of real food I am, scaling back the way I have has helped. Weekly numbers generally aren't as high as they once were, but they are higher than they were in the slump I ended up in. Of course, this week kind of blew me away as I'm down 3.6lbs from last week, so maybe I've found the sweet spot and can carry this momentum forward. I still have issues with getting dizzy when I stand up. Have lost consciousness two more times since the initial blackout I had a couple of months back. Tired of my surgeon saying it's normal with rapid weight loss, though he said he's putting me in for a cardio consult. Not sure when that'll happen though. Finally had blood work done last week. Still waiting on the results to be published to my patient portal. I entered Onederland back on 11/17 and this morning I hit my second weight loss goal of 190. My final goal is 180, so I am quite literally in the home stretch now.

In a week's time, I'm going to be heading off on an in-state vacation for a few days. It's a small attempt to make up for losing pretty much all of my summer between surgery and COVID. Fortunately, I have a lot of great options for in-state getaways. Admittedly, I have some minor anxiety about the whole thing that is mostly related to my diet (mitigating COVID anxiety by making a concerted effort to get out of the downtown area and off to the multitude of hiking trails and quieter spots on the island). I've got a couple of big orders of my favored protein bars arriving this week and will definitely be making room for a box or two in my suitcase. I can pick up some premade protein shakes from the Stop & Shop on-island, so realistically I know I should be fine and have my protein options on hand. And I know the bulk of the restaurants there well enough to know a couple that I could indulge in (more seafood restaurants than you can shake a stick at!) if I decide I want a meal, though I hope most places are doing takeout because I know no interest in dining in. So I should be fine. And yet, it's the first trip since surgery and I still have that annoying black cloud of doubt and worry hanging out nearby. How did you handle your first post-op vacation? How do you handle them now, if you've much further out from your surgery date? Any tips or tricks? Thanks!

But then I did a smart thing! So, I went out earlier today to accomplish two things. First, to vote in my state's primary. Second, to get passport photos taken. Except I did them in the reverse order. I went to the CVS down the street to get the photos done. While waiting for them to print, my eyes unfortunately landed on a temptation too great for me to ignore. I love Oreos. Like...really love Oreos. And I adore the special edition flavors that they come out with. I have not had Oreos in probably 9 months. That is a slippery slope I did not need. Except they had Tiramisu flavored Oreos for sale. I also love Tiramisu. So...I walked out of CVS with a package of Tiramisu Oreos. Then I went to my polling place and voted. I came home, got in the door, and opened up that package of Oreos. At which point I took 4 cookies out... And vac-sealed them into individual bags that then went right in the freezer. My boyfriend will be the beneficiary of my cookie weakness while I keep my four cookies locked away in the freezer for another 6 or so months. At which time I might indulge. Or I might throw them out because I'm not sure how freezer burnt cookies would taste.

Weighed in yesterday morning and came up just shy of One-derland. Weight loss has definitely slowed down as I get closer to my doctor's goal of 180. Used to be in the 2.5-3lb a week range. The past few weeks have been 1.8-2.2lbs. It's to be expected, though means I'm not likely to hit goal by the end of the year. The biggest annoyance with that is that my doctor doesn't want me on a normal meal plan until I hit 180. So, 4 months out and I'm still only have three dinners a week, with protein shakes and bars all the rest of the time. There's definitely some fatigue setting in when it comes to my diet. I'll get there eventually, though.

Made Mexican't Pizzas for dinner last night. I can't call them Mexican Pizzas since one of them pretty much fell into a sloppy mess when I tried moving it to the plate (structural integrity of the bottom tortilla was nearly nonexistent) and because apparently my boyfriend loaded his dinner salad up with all of the rest of the shredded taco cheese leaving me with only Italian 3 Cheese blend to use. That said...they were still delicious and I polished off 1.5 of the 2 I made. And I have plenty of leftover fillings so these will be back on the menu for Thursday night. I WILL be getting taco cheese (or maybe some cotija) before then.

Mount Monadnock in Jaffrey, NH. Had hoped for an even nicer view, but weather conspired to keep it very cloudy in the morning and the summit was smack dab in the middle of the low-lying clouds. Last time I'd been up there was 26 years ago. I did not remember it being quite that much of a trek back then. My legs are still sore as heck. Up and down was a total of 2200 calories burned. And yet, I managed to gain 2.8lbs on this morning's weekly weigh in. Color me less than happy about that. First weight gain since February. Here's hoping things start moving in the right direction for next week!

I literally climbed a mountain today, so I am splurging and enjoying a delicious poke bowl with tuna, scallops, and spicy salmon. Seaweed salad base instead of rice and loaded with veggies and avocado.

I'm below BMI 30 as of this morning's weigh-in.

That does not sound like anything normal at all and I would recommend going to urgent care at the very least, if not the actual ER. If you have a way of contacting your bariatric team on the weekend, you should most definitely do that. They may likely tell you to go to the ER, but getting their guidance would be a good first step. Hope that you feel better and can get some answers today!

Protein snacks, particularly the chips and puffs, also tend to have higher sodium content than bars and shakes. After finding several protein snacks I enjoyed, I asked my nutritionist about them and she said that they would meet my protein goals, but that I needed to be careful about the sodium so she recommended them once or twice a week at most pre-op which worked for me. It was mostly about food consistency differences for me. I wanted to enjoy something crunchy once in a while. Post-op, I've largely avoided them for now just to not have to worry about the sodium.

Hi everyone! Hope you had a good week and that this one will be amazing too! This week, I am thankful to be on vacation for 4 days in one of my favorite places. I’m thankful for the weight I have lost making it so I don’t get winded and have to stop repeatedly while carrying my luggage. I’m thankful that I’ll be able to keep very close to on plan while on vacation thanks to careful preparation. And I am so thankful to be out of the office and away from that stress until Friday. How about you?

12:19pm and this is where I am at for today. I may be overachieving...