BadgerMom

We have now officially created that much-needed Family and Friends Support Group! If you have people around you who are curious about what life will be like with a "bandster," this is the place to be. Concerned about your bandster's health? Worried if you'll ever see the inside of a restaurant again once you have a lap band partner/spouse? Do you have a million questions about the whole medical thing? I'm right there with you! My partner was banded just last Monday, June 23rd, and I'm learning that this is about my own process as well as hers. Come join the discussion! BadgerMom "Feel the fear, and do it anyway."

Sorry to take so long. Try this: about 12 oz or so of crab meat (get the best you can afford) 1 egg, beaten 1 tsp worcestershire sauce 2 tbsp non-fat Greek yogurt 1/4 - 1/2 tsp Old Bay Seasoning (to taste) 1/4 cup crushed saltines or breadcrumbs salt and pepper to taste onion and garlic powder to taste The measurements are approximate. What you want is just enough bread or cracker crumbs and enough egg and yogurt to hold the crab together and to create a crab cake that is mostly crab. I would suggest adding about half of the egg, crumbs, and yogurt to all the other ingredients and see if you can shape it with your hands. If it's still crumbly, add some more, but don't let the cake get sloppy. Keep it really firm. Don't make them too big or they'll break when you're cooking them. Fry the cakes on a lightly oiled griddle or cast Iron frying pan over medium heat until they are nicely browned, turning once or twice. I like mine with lemon, but others may prefer tartar sauce. Be careful that you pick out any bits of shell in the crab. Sometimes you might find it in canned crab.

Yes, sometimes I do, but it's really all about her health, and when I see her so pleased to drop a size, it's worth it. Not to mention that I think she looks better to me. I think that the lapband process, for me, is a process that the two of us are involved in, not just her, so it's actually brought us together in some ways. I was able to build her recumbent exercise bike for her, and I was very selective about the restaurant we went to for our anniversary so she had lots of good and healthy menu choices. The long and short of it is that if the relationship is going to change, it will change whether you lose weight or not. If you have a strong, supportive partnership, dropping a few sizes isn't going to shake it, nor will staying fat keep it together. I think this is a "guy thing" - the idea that if a woman loses weight and feel good about herself and looks better that she'll bail on the relationship. Sure, if the guy is a total slob who has told her that she's so ugly that she should be grateful because he's the only person who would ever be willing to put up with her, that nonsense will probably come to a halt, but that kind of abuse should never have been going on in the first place, no matter what size the partners are. Have your SO join the Friends and Family discussion. It's ok for him to have his feelings, and maybe we can offer some support. Best of luck, BadgerMom

Well, it was one thing to make a shake or bullion for my partner when she was on the endless pre-surgery liquid diet, and making homemade Soup for her plus shakes in the two week post liquid diet wasn't so bad either, but these mushies! Oy! We've got one more week to go until she can eat soft foods, and Sunday night can't come soon enough for me. We have a big blender, a tiny blender, and a food processor, and none of them is truly adequate for making small amounts of food. The food either doesn't get chopped up enough or is too soupy. It took almost 10 minutes just to puree yams last night. In addition, there's no way to keep everything hot enough. While I puree the chicken, the veggies get cold or vice versa, and pureed brown rice, which I thought wouldn't be so bad, is just a complete non-starter :cursing:. Buying a "bullet" seems like a waste of money for a two-week need, but I'm using so many bowls and spoons trying to make a meal and make it look somewhat attractive that every night feels like the last minute rush at Thanksgiving. She was able to eat some soft tofu on Saturday which didn't need to be pureed, but if I had to do this on a regular basis for someone, I'd go out and get a super-primo food processor. Meanwhile, I've been making some exquisite Soups and posting some of the recipes. I've got a killer (not cheap, but worth it) blue crab soup recipe that I'm going to try to put up tonight. BadgerMom

My partner had one that she had to inhale rather than blow into. The doctor said to use it until she got back to a normal routine, and she was right. My partner didn't use it often enough, and it made the first few days pretty hard for her. Consider it as part of your post-surgery healing procedures. And when you're done with it, you can give it to the kids for a science experiment. It's kinda fun looking. BadgerMom

Sounds like you may need a fill. Check with your doctor, and don't give up. BadgerMom

The secret to a good crab cake is lots and lots of crab and just a little bit of everything else. Get it fresh cooked from the fish counter at your market rather than in a can unless you can find some of the blue crab in a can (it's expensive but soooo worth it). The rest of the stuff is just to hold the crab together and give it some seasoning. You might want to try a small dollop of fat-free yogurt instead of the mayo (I like the Greek strained variety called Fage which is more like sour cream and very creamy even though it's fat free and holds up better in cooking) and ease way back on the eggs. Use very finely grated bread crumbs or cracker crumbs, just enough to hold the crab together. Old Bay seasoning is traditional, but if you can't get that, try Bell's Seasoning. It's similar in many respects. It comes in a little yellow box. BadgerMom

I forgot I was on my girfriends computer...that last post was from Harvest, not Badgermom.:tt1:

Thank you everyone!!! You are all so wonderful to share you stories they have really helped me. As of today I am two weeks banded and I'm finally feeling like I can go for short walks. I took the dog out twice yesterday (am then pm) for a total of 1 mile :tt1: The morning walk went better than the evening walk. By the evening time my back is tired from doing the work of my belly muscles. It looks like rain today so I'm going to go to the mall to walk today. That should be good because there are plenty of benches to sit on if my back muscles start hurting. Before surgery I was walking 9 holes of golf without too much problem (the hills made me a little dizzy) so I'm looking forward to getting back to gold sometime next month. Also, I'm using that lovely $600 tax rebate we all got and putting it towards a recumbent exercise bike so during the winter months I don't become a couch potato again. Please keep the stories coming...I know I can't be the only one who needs to hear your struggle to success stories around exercise.

I was wondering how people on private pay, especially those who travel to Mexico from anywhere other than a border state, manage to get their fills. Do you have a doctor back home who will do them for you? Do you need to go back to Mexico if you had your banding done there? BadgerMom

Baked Potato Soup 1 small baking potato (about the size of a large lemon) 1 cup low fat milk or plain Silk soymilk 1/2 - 1 teaspoon butter (optional) 1/4 cup chicken broth (use broth, not bullion, for the extra protein) salt and pepper to taste dash of Bell's Seasoning (comes in a little box) dash of paprika Bake the potato in the microwave or oven. Let it cool slightly, then remove the skin and any crusty bits of the flesh. Place into a blender with the milk, butter, and chicken broth and blend until liquified. Strain the mixture through a mesh strainer to remove any lumps, then put into a small pot and add salt and pepper and Bell's Seasoning to taste. You can thin it out more if you like by adding Water or more chicken broth. Heat through gently. Serve with the dash of paprika on top. Makes about 10 oz. Protein 9 gm Calories approx 200 Fat 8 gm. Sugars 8 gm My parter is getting toward the end of three weeks of liquid diet and is climbing the walls for something different. This seemed to be very satisfying. BadgerMom

My partner was also intolerant of the Protein drinks with whey. They gave her migraines. She's done quite well on the Spirutein soy-based shakes. She experimented with various brands prior to going on the liquid pre-op diet. They're not too bad, actually. She mixes them with Plain Silk soymilk, and since they were a bit heavy for her taste, she doubled the amount of soymilk to powder ratio. Just make sure you account for the additional calories. BadgerMom

My partner was banded this past Monday, June 23, and she has developed a low-grade fever since this afternoon. I was a bit concerned, but since we had seen the doctor this morning and her exam and blood tests were fine, I wasn't too worried. I got on the LBT site, looked up "fever" and presto! I got the information I needed. So, we're going to keep an eye on it, and unless it goes to 101 or 101.5, we know it's normal. It is so great to have this resource available to us! She's doing really well, by the way, and has been absolutely on with her pre- and post-op diets. She was back to non-Clear liquids today, and she really enjoyed her Soup and Protein shakes. Thanks everyone! BadgerMom

Jane, I think you have a point there - that being fat may create more social problems for girls and women than for men (not sure about boys). There's definitely a double standard there. My partner is less concerned about beauty than about her health, and there are things she wants to do that she can't do easily - hiking, biking, and so on - and that's the real reason for her decision. If all women thought they had to look like Brittney Spears (or whoever), most of us would be seriously disappointed since we just don't look like that, but if we want to be healthy, I think that's a goal that we can achieve at any age. BadgerMom

JoJo, Is your partner being banded in Beloit? BadgerMom

Hello, bandsters, I am the very supportive (un-banded) partner of a person who is going to be banded on June 23rd. In the 20+ years we've been together, my partner has tried so hard to lose weight, and both of us think that the band is going to be the tool that will finally allow that to happen. I've been reading posts on Lapbandtalk several times and week, and it has been a wonderful learning experience. I would like to know if there might be a forum created for family and friends who are supporting bandsters. How did they help your bandster pre-op and post-op? How do you know if something is wrong? I'll be with my partner the whole first week, and I want to make that period as comfortable as possible. I do a good deal of the cooking as well, and I expect I'll be doing more than usual since my partner won't be up to much for a while. I'd really like some information about what to cook during the various phases. My cooking is very healthy, but I'm terrified that I'll accidentally make my partner have a PB and get sick. I'd also find it helpful to speak with others about their experiences in supporting a person who is losing weight on the band. How can I support my partner's transformation emotionally as well as physically, since I know there's going to be a lot of flack from our friends that my partner has taken the "unnatural" step of having surgery. I imagine that family members, especially spouses, have gone through their own personal transformations as well as their bandster faced challenges and successes. Would members here feel comfortable with such a forum? If not, is there a forum elsewhere that I can go to to learn from other family members and to support their experiences while we support their bandsters? Thanks for listening. You are all tremendously courageous! BadgerMom

kristylyn, I'm not sure that being a skinny spouse is the main reason that husbands/SO's are afraid of the band. There has been a lot of press about the dangers of complications from gastric bypass. Some of us even know people who have had those complications. TV commercials make losing weight sound easy, which is why Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers are making money hand over fist, and people go back to them again and again after they have failed. Some people do succeed on these programs, but it depends on the person. My partner's surgeon says that Weight Watchers is great if you need to lose 10 - 20 pounds. Any more than that, and it isn't likely to work. Lots of people are insecure around any kind of change, positive or negative, and would rather stay where they are than risk the unknown. Some spouses, I'm sure, feel that if their spouse loses weight that she/he will feel more attractive and might break up the marriage. I've been with my partner for 21 years now, and in the wee hours of the morning, when I can't sleep, I wonder that myself. But if our relationship is so bad that it can't deal with a little weight loss, then we need to get ourselves to a counselor. For the record, I'm skinny - very skinny by most people's standards. I'm 5'2", and a (healthy) size 4, and I've been with my partner all the way on every diet and exercise plan she's tried, and I've seen how hard it's been for her. I told her that if the band was her choice, then she needed to make it for herself, not for me. My primary concern was medical safety, but even I recognize that there is a part of our relationship that is connected with food - Sunday chicken dinners, tea with scones, going to nice restaurants, that's going to have to change. She makes the best scones in the entire world, and I might never see those again, but it's a small price for me to pay for her health. I think that the resistance is usually about fear. Knowledge is power. If we can encourage these family members to educate themselves, they may be more supportive. "Feel the fear, and do it anyway." BadgerMom

Er, I feel a bit embarrassed asking this question, but my partner's body scent seems "off" to me. It's kind of like she has "old lady smell" all of a sudden, kind of sourish. I don't know if it's because of the soy Protein shakes or something else, but she didn't have it before. She's dropping weight like a stone, and she won't be banded until Monday. Ideas? BadgerMom

Jane, Just remind your dear hubby that his boat and motorcycle won't keep him warm in bed or go to the movies with him, or fix him a nice supper when he's 80. A happy, healthy wife, on the other hand, might just do that if he treats her nicely. BadgerMom

Thanks so much. I was kind of wondering if it was ketosis, but since she's not diabetic, I discarded the idea. I figure it's something we'll have to live with for a while. I imagine that once she can get to the mushies stage and off a completely liquid diet, that may help some. BadgerMom

My goodness! What a ride! My partner is scheduled for banding this coming Monday, June 23rd. We very nearly had a delay in getting the procedure approved by her insurance, as I previously posted, and that was solved. This Tuesday she went in for the pre-surgery consult with the anesthesiolgist and was told she was anemic, and he wouldn't do the surgery until her Iron level was up. I appreciate the care these folks are taking (I imagine this isn't always the case, especially if people are paying out of their own pockets), but she was halfway through her 10-day liquid diet when she was told this. :smile: Her surgeon said she could either wait a couple more months and try to get her iron up or have a transfusion. She's always been a bit anemic, and so she chose the transfusion (2 units). They made it sound like it would only take a couple of hours. Not! :smile: She went in yesterday morning at 8:00 a.m. for type and cross, got up to the special care unit at around 9:30, and then was there until a bit after 7:00 last night. Naturally, she had only her morning Protein shake with her, since she figured she'd be home for "lunch." Meanwhile, I was trying to wrap up all my cases (I'm a senior law advocate) so that everything would be ready since I was going to be off next week. At 11:00, my partner called me. She was still on the first unit of blood with no end in sight, and there was nothing for her to eat. They had no Protein shakes, and she needs to have soy-based shakes, and no Soup that was just liquid. So my leisurely day of preparation turned into a scramble to get home, make her a shake, and drive down to the hospital. I made it just before 2:00, and she was still on the first unit of blood. Bless the folks there, though. They were great. I was able to sit with her and chat; the nurses were nothing short of fabulous. I saw people coming in for all kinds of things, coumadin, chemotherapy, etc. I was a able to go get her hot Water for chicken broth and tea for myself and some tomato soup later in the evening (she had to eat around any chunks very carefully). My partner was a saint. They had to stick her nine times to get the IV in because her veins were small. :redface: The nurses figured it might have been due to dehydration caused by the liquid diet. (She's going to be pounding fluids for the next two days.) It wasn't a comfortable procedure for her. She is off to a music festival today, and when I told her I was worried that she wouldn't have the proper food and/or would be tempted to eat something she shouldn't she told me it wasn't worth going through another transfusion to blow her diet. Bless her heart, she's been a trooper. She got on the scale today, and she's lost 11+ pounds already. So tomorrow, we're going to make sure that everything is completely prepared for her. Then she wants to spend some time in the garden. I'm looking forward to just enjoying the day with her, since next week is going to be tough for both of us while she stays in bed and I take care of her. Whew! I don't know how it is for other family members, but I'm finding that this is exhausting. I haven't been cooking anything when she's home so that the smell won't drive her nuts, and I've lost three pounds myself (those salads will do that to you). We did have a laugh yesterday, though, while she was getting her transfusion. I hadn't eaten lunch, so I went down to the little cafeteria and got some toast and cottage cheese and a banana. She looked so longingly at the banana, that I told her to stop ogling it. We had to laugh at that one. BadgerMom

Well, she's going to be in the hospital overnight, so she won't be home until Tuesday, but we live in a lovely town here in Wisconsin where walking around the block is a real pleasure. Everyone seems to suggest walking (how fortunate for me that this list exists, and with so many experts to ask questions of!), so that's what we'll do. Maybe we could walk down to the library and get some videos - it's about two blocks - and come back. I guess power-walking is out, eh? :ohmy: Her energy has been fine, even on the liquid diet, and if she goes through this like she did with her gall bladder, she should have almost no pain. We're going to take the "before" pictures today. She went to the music festival yesterday and there were two other women who had been banded there and were giving a workshop. They live in the local area and have a support group, so in addition to the group she will have through the hospital and this website, she will also have another source of support. She feels, and I agree, that psych support is critical for her ultimate success. We're lucky in that the doctor has an entire team - surgeon, psychologist, nutritionist who work with the patient to continue treatment after the surgery for as long as she needs it. BadgerMom

Ohmygosh, Pen! They let you eat soft foods the same day as the surgery and sent you home that afternoon? My partner has been on a liquid diet for 10 days, will be staying in the hospital overnight, and will be on Clear Liquids for 4 days before transitioning to another two weeks of non-clear liquids, then two weeks of very soft/pureed foods, then soft foods, then on to solids. There sure is a lot of variation in how doctors approach this procedure. May I ask if you are being covered by insurance or if you are paying by yourself? I'm curious as to whether self-pay patients are given a faster entry and exit into and out of the procedure. I'm glad it was easy enough for you to be able to go home that afternoon. BadgerMom

Well, my partner is now on Day 4 of her ten day liquid diet, and she's doing really well, but we're having to make some adjustments to what I'm eating (I'm non-banded, low BMI). I've decided not to cook anything that would smell yummy while she's on the pre-op diet (like onions and garlic, bacon, chicken) since it just seems unfair to do it, so I'm trying to eat my main meal during lunchtime at work and then have a salad (she's not a lettuce gal) for dinner in the evening. My usual Breakfast is a piece of toast with two slices of turkey bacon, but I felt bad cooking the bacon, so I had granola with plain yogurt instead. Poor thing, the other night she just went upstairs while I ate (scrambled eggs - I figured it wouldn't smell like much) so she didn't smell anything, but I feel badly even eating salad in front of her. Mind you, she hasn't asked me to do this, but it feels like I'm drinking a beer in front of someone in recovery if I eat a regular hot meal while she has just a shake. I gotta say that I know I would feel seriously challenged to stick to that liquid diet. She's a trooper, though, but I'm glad it's only for ten days! BadgerMom

I may be nice, but I sure am hungry, too. :biggrin: BadgerMom