Jerseytammy

Ok I have a family member that is considering getting banded. When she told her mom she was thinking about this her responce was ...."Just like you wanting to take the easy way out". Now I have spoken to her mother about me being banning and got nothing but support so this took me by surprise. She herself is over weight and knows the struggle of trying to lose. I have not had someone so bold as to stand in my face and say this. So my question to you all is this........What do you tell someone who says we took the easy way out?

Reporting late, sorry sarge.........held steady not lose but no gain!!!!

Ok I am still having a lot of pain when I try and eat soild foods, but I did notice yesterday that I was eating too fast and not thinking about how much I was chewing. So I slowed down and started concentrating on every bite, it seem to be working until the phone at work started ringing and people started coming over to my desk wanting things and before I knew it I was in pain once more. I think I may be one of the lucky ones as far as Pbing and slimming goes, I have only pbed once since having my band and I was at home when it happened, thank god!!! I did miss that day of work tho, I just felt too bad to go in and to be honest I was a little scared too. I have also noticed it would be very easy to cheat the band...hmmmm maybe I shouldnt say it like that, maybe I should say what it really is, to cheat myself. Potatoe chips go down with no problem, so does cheetos and most cookies I have tried. Chicken and beef I have a hard time with tho, I think it is the chewing it up good enough that is the problem, I have to learn to take "baby sized bites". Some said to use a baby spoon but I just dont know about that one, maybe. Well back to work for now......

Ok I am still having a lot of pain when I try and eat soild foods, but I did notice yesterday that I was eating too fast and not thinking about how much I was chewing. So I slowed down and started concentrating on every bite, it seem to be working until the phone at work started ringing and people started coming over to my desk wanting things and before I knew it I was in pain once more. I think I may be one of the lucky ones as far as Pbing and slimming goes, I have only pbed once since having my band and I was at home when it happened, thank god!!! I did miss that day of work tho, I just felt too bad to go in and to be honest I was a little scared too. I have also noticed it would be very easy to cheat the band...hmmmm maybe I shouldnt say it like that, maybe I should say what it really is, to cheat myself. Potatoe chips go down with no problem, so does cheetos and most cookies I have tried. Chicken and beef I have a hard time with tho, I think it is the chewing it up good enough that is the problem, I have to learn to take "baby sized bites". Some said to use a baby spoon but I just dont know about that one, maybe. Well back to work for now......

Congrats Donna, and :omg: oh a full week of liquids!! Wow my doctor just tells me to "take it easy" the rest of the day after a fill. I am still having a lot of pain when I eat, I have got to get this "eat slowly, and chew chew chew" working better for me. I wonder if 9cc in a 100 cc is my sweet spot?:rolleyes

Hello my friends I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend! Naster- I had my 3rd fill on Friday, I am now at 9cc in a 10cc band and girl everything I eat hurts. I am thankful I have not thrown up or pbed one time since Friday and I have managed to lose 4 lbs too. I spent years trainning myself not to throw-up so I am thinking this could work as an advantage maybe, or it could go the other way. This weekend I learned the only way I could any food down without being in so much pain was to take bites the size of an english pea, girl it took me 20 minutes to get a half of a rib down. I dont know if this is normal or not. I mean is this what being banded is all about? I havent had really any good restriction until now but how do I know if it is too much? Hang in there Nanster, we will get through this some how, you're in my prayers hun.

Reporting in Sarge.......lost 4 lbs this week. My fill level is 9 cc in a 10 cc band. Hope everyone had a great Memorial Day Weekend!

Ok I had my thrid fill on Friday, May 26th. Now I am told I have a 100 cc band and I already have 6 cc in it so Friday he added 3 more. I have 9 cc in a 10 cc band. He told me I am almost at max. I felt this lump in my throat but wasnt sure if it was the band being too tight or just knowing I only have one cc left to work with. I was banded on Feb 8 or no romantic valentines dinner for me, I will still on liquids then, then all of my fills are been right before a holiday or some kind. Even my 40th B-day. This last one right before Memorial Day, so no cook-outs for me. I am still fairly new to this whole banding experience but I dont think it is suppose to hurt everytime I try and eat. I mean it hurts bad too. I guess I will give it a couple of days and see what happens, if I cant eat by the end of the week I guess I will call my Doctor for a little unfill. My husband took me to see X-Men 3 over the weekend, I saw the first two and loved them both. This is something a normal person would go to and have a really great time but not me, I have trouble in crowds. I sit at home and put on all the make-up, I do the hair and then try to find something in my closet that doesnt make me look so fat, now theres a joke. I can leave the house feeling rather good about myself , (I dont owe I full size mirror), and it never fails, I caught a glimpse of myself in a window or have to walk by a full size mirror. It is all down hill from there. I have often wondered when I have looked at my own reflection over the years did I not see myself getting better? Did I not see I was lossing my chin and cheek bones? I have always been heavy so I am not sure if I have ever seen me, or if this is the real me and I am not meant to be Skinny Tammy, wait skinny is wrong, normal size tammy is probably better. This brings to my mind...My uncle once told me........."hell dont worry about your weight tammy, they fuss if your too fat and they fuss if you're too skinny, its a no win situation". I wonder how true that is, I know for my family it holds a lot of truths. Right before we went to the movies we went to our favorite little rib place, but instead me us ordering for two, we ordered for one and shared. I was able to get a half of a rib down and two bites of a baked potatoe in about 20 minutes. Now unless I plan on drinking all my protein there is no way I was be able to get 80 grams of protein a day. So after that we head out to the movies, we arrive 20 early, cause I have this thing about crawling over people who are already seated. Oh low and behold the seats that I always like to sit in , ya know the ones right up front, the ones that seprate the back from the front, there are only 5 seats were already taken. So we went to the seats ahead of them, in the middle, per my husbands request. This was a big movie weekend so the threater was packed. People to the left of me and people to the right. Now all I can do is sit there and think what if I have a heart attack, or what if I have to throw-up. I was totally miserable the entire time. At one point I even started to sweat and that makes it worse, ( one of the signs of a heart attack) my left arm was hurting ( another sign of a heart attack). I feel like I am losing my mind sometimes. I never have energy, I dont want to think, I dont want to feel. I really dont know what I am suppose to do any more.

Ok I had my thrid fill on Friday, May 26th. Now I am told I have a 100 cc band and I already have 6 cc in it so Friday he added 3 more. I have 9 cc in a 10 cc band. He told me I am almost at max. I felt this lump in my throat but wasnt sure if it was the band being too tight or just knowing I only have one cc left to work with. I was banded on Feb 8 or no romantic valentines dinner for me, I will still on liquids then, then all of my fills are been right before a holiday or some kind. Even my 40th B-day. This last one right before Memorial Day, so no cook-outs for me. I am still fairly new to this whole banding experience but I dont think it is suppose to hurt everytime I try and eat. I mean it hurts bad too. I guess I will give it a couple of days and see what happens, if I cant eat by the end of the week I guess I will call my Doctor for a little unfill. My husband took me to see X-Men 3 over the weekend, I saw the first two and loved them both. This is something a normal person would go to and have a really great time but not me, I have trouble in crowds. I sit at home and put on all the make-up, I do the hair and then try to find something in my closet that doesnt make me look so fat, now theres a joke. I can leave the house feeling rather good about myself , (I dont owe I full size mirror), and it never fails, I caught a glimpse of myself in a window or have to walk by a full size mirror. It is all down hill from there. I have often wondered when I have looked at my own reflection over the years did I not see myself getting better? Did I not see I was lossing my chin and cheek bones? I have always been heavy so I am not sure if I have ever seen me, or if this is the real me and I am not meant to be Skinny Tammy, wait skinny is wrong, normal size tammy is probably better. This brings to my mind...My uncle once told me........."hell dont worry about your weight tammy, they fuss if your too fat and they fuss if you're too skinny, its a no win situation". I wonder how true that is, I know for my family it holds a lot of truths. Right before we went to the movies we went to our favorite little rib place, but instead me us ordering for two, we ordered for one and shared. I was able to get a half of a rib down and two bites of a baked potatoe in about 20 minutes. Now unless I plan on drinking all my protein there is no way I was be able to get 80 grams of protein a day. So after that we head out to the movies, we arrive 20 early, cause I have this thing about crawling over people who are already seated. Oh low and behold the seats that I always like to sit in , ya know the ones right up front, the ones that seprate the back from the front, there are only 5 seats were already taken. So we went to the seats ahead of them, in the middle, per my husbands request. This was a big movie weekend so the threater was packed. People to the left of me and people to the right. Now all I can do is sit there and think what if I have a heart attack, or what if I have to throw-up. I was totally miserable the entire time. At one point I even started to sweat and that makes it worse, ( one of the signs of a heart attack) my left arm was hurting ( another sign of a heart attack). I feel like I am losing my mind sometimes. I never have energy, I dont want to think, I dont want to feel. I really dont know what I am suppose to do any more.

You all are a hoot, u make me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry! WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO Stacey!!!!!!! CONGRATS GIRLY:clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: Ok ya'll I am scared to death to eat, I just got my 3rd fill. I am 9 cc in a band that holds 10cc, OMG 9 not 8 not even 8.5 but 9!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:faint: :faint: :faint: :faint: :faint: :faint: :faint: I have pbed once since being banded and now I am scared to put anything in my mouth, Look onderland cause I got a feeling I am on my way. Oh remember a few threads back I was complaining about having no restrictions, ughhhhh!!!! When and saw my PCP yesterday and he seems to think it is my horomones causing all the hair loss and ups and downs. He took some blood work and said to give me a week and we would talk again, cross your fingers!!! Oh you're all doing so wonderfully I wish you all a great Memorial day weekend!!!!!!!!!! And Pray that I can EAT!!!

Well when I started this journal I told myself that I would keep up with this, and just like all my diets I failed. So I have been doing some thinking, ok a lot of thinking, which isnt always a good thing for me. I am truly sick of thinking and trying to figure out why I am the way I am. Did I have a great childhood, no, but neither did a lot of other people and they didnt end up OB with panic attacks. So what makes me different or should I say weak? What makes me eat when i am not hungry and stuff myself when I am? Here I am at 40 years old and I still dont know who I am. When I started this journal I was asking myself this question and 3 months later I am still asking. So what now? I just dont know!

Well when I started this journal I told myself that I would keep up with this, and just like all my diets I failed. So I have been doing some thinking, ok a lot of thinking, which isnt always a good thing for me. I am truly sick of thinking and trying to figure out why I am the way I am. Did I have a great childhood, no, but neither did a lot of other people and they didnt end up OB with panic attacks. So what makes me different or should I say weak? What makes me eat when i am not hungry and stuff myself when I am? Here I am at 40 years old and I still dont know who I am. When I started this journal I was asking myself this question and 3 months later I am still asking. So what now? I just dont know!

Wow again I am amazed at how much love, understanding, and support you all always seem to give me. Really there are not words to describe the gratitude I have for all of you. I cry a lot on my way home, just me alone in my car. Sometimes thinking can be a very dangerous thing. I have tried to tell myself that crying is a form of praying when the words just won’t come, a cleansing if you will. But I have to face the fact I have some major issues in my life and being MB is just one more side effect. I have really been thinking about why I let myself get this big. Please allow me to share a story with you all…. My dad and mom divorced when I was very young, age 6 or 7. My dad remarried a couple of times, 2nd marriage was a joke (lasted less than a year) and he was married to his 3rd wife when he died. Now I have always been heavy but I remember this so clearly. We were going school shopping, I was going into the 7th grade. I wore a size 16 even then. Now I am 5’2” now so I am not sure how tall I was then but I was always one of the shortest in my class. Any way I took the size 16 jeans into the dressing room with me and stood there in horror that they wouldn’t button. My dad asked me to step out so he and my step-mother could take a look. I had to tell him I couldn’t get them to button, I was so embarrassed. So dad brought me a size 18. Now they were so long and if we had cut them off they would have been bell-bottom and bell-bottoms were in style then. So to make a long story short my dad bought me a bag of m&ms instead of clothes that day. Now he didn’t buy me a regular size bag, I got a king size bag. I was 11 years old when this happened and 40 now and I can still remember what that store looked like, what the jeans looked like and I still feel that same embarrassment to this day. Julie- Congrats on your first fill! Yeah mine too is no pain but just a funny feeling. I totally understood what you were trying to tell me, thank you! Mikey- thank you for the laugh, I needed that. Your words and wisdom speak volume. I can’t tell you how many times I have been eating (usually some kind of junk food) when all of a sudden I realize I have eaten ¾ of a candy before I actually realized I was even eating. Or start on a bag of potatoe-chips and eat the entire bag without ever giving it a second thought. Thank you so much for all your kind words, the laughter and support, it is good to see you here again! Janet- How come I feel as if you have known me for years? It took me several tries before I could actually get through your entire post. It’s nice to know that maybe I am not that weird or strange, not that I would ever wish this one any one, but knowing that I am not along in my fears and feelings was a great help. I know I have a lot of issues to work through in my life and this isn’t going to be easy. I did read your post from the link that you provided, what a wonderful and moving story. I don’t know why I was deal the life I got but I do have to remember that God is in control and he has a plan for me. Your post really made me think, cry, pray, and smile but most of all your post made me realize that I am never alone and am worthy of getting help, thank you! Donna- My first panic attack happened when I was 17 years old and a senior in high school. I have been to the ER so many times that the nurses and doctors knew me by name. There were weeks at a time that I refused to leave my house. I couldn’t take a bath unless someone was in the house with me; cause “what if” I had a heart attack while in the water, if the attack didn’t kill me I would drown. I have been at every end of the panic scale and it is living hell. I was hoping that all my fears would acts as strengths during my banding and for a while it was. I have been banded since Feb 8 and have pbed only once. Now I don’t know if I told y’all this when I described my pb, but was scared to death the entire time that I was having a heart attack. I mean the two are very close in symptoms. Maybe this is why all these feeling and fears have seem to creep up on me again. Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone in the battle again fear and panic. Have a great weekend!!!!!!!!!!!

I am only going to say........I am not giving up!

Ok here goes for me……. I don’t know if I have ever shared this in open forum but here goes. I was diagnosed several years ago with panic disorder, but only after years and years of being misdiagnosed. They think it stems from seeing my dad have a massive stroke at the age of 12 and seeing my grandmother have a massive heart attack at the age of 14. Both of these things ended their lives. Now please don’t feel sorry for me, this is the hand I was dealt. So I have a huge phobia about throwing up because it was the last thing I was my grandmother do. Now some might think I am crazy for being banded because of this, but I am praying this works in my favor. Take my weakness and use it as strength to keep from pbing or worse. Ok I wont bore ya’ll with all the details of what I have been through dealing with this. But Friday morning one of our salesmen here at work had a heart attack at age 50. Ok he is a tad bit over weight but doesn’t smoke and is active. I know there might be other factors he had working against him but let me tell ya I have been thrown for a loop. I left work early, made an excuse to get out of here. I cant even watch medical shows on TV. I am 40 years old and think about dying every day of the week. So I guess what I am looking for here is this……..We all have read all the articles about how being morbidly obese leads to stroke and heart disease so why I am not the most fit person you know? Now I have seen doctors and councilors for years but I want to hear from people like me that have eating disorders. We all know what to eat, how much to eat and to exercise daily; so what makes someone so scared of death not do these things? Do I secretly wish for an early ending? I honestly don’t know, there are days when I want to give up and actually pray to go ahead and have the heart attack that I am so scared of. Am I the only one that thinks this way? Am I crazy?

I want to thank everyone for all the support and prayers during my family’s health crisis. My aunt is at home and doing well but unfortunately it looks as if my uncle will have to go to nursing home if he makes it. Ok let me see if I can do some catching up myself here….. Nanster- WOW girly great NSVs. Good going on the no chocolate and no coke victory! About my port, I really can’t even feel mine unless I push down about an inch or so, I reckon that tells ya where I carry most of my weight huh? Oh do you remember when you and I were talking about not having enough restriction and I said be careful what you asked for you just might get it….lol. Congrats on a great fill, I am glad the scales are moving down for you. Let us know how the next couple of days go for you. Michelle- my hair is still falling out at an alarming rate. I have a multi-vitamin with the biotin (sp) but I think I will take some extra. I am sorry to hear about your pbing this weekend. I had that wonderful experience once since being banded and if I ever have it again it will be too soon. My band seems to be working some days and wide open others. Hang in there girl, you’ll get through this bump in the road. Think smoothies!!!!!! I am looking forward to a long weekend too, sigh I need it!! Stacey- I have so many factor working against me with the hair loss, ughhh I don’t want to be bald or thin!!!! When you say your hair got really thin, just how thin did it get? As far as tanning goes, welllllllll I love the way I looked when I was tan about 80 lbs ago but now I am scared to lay in the bed because I am scared they will break. When I was a little over 200 I would go tan and I would hear the beds cracking and popping, and now that I am 267 I wouldn’t dare as much as I would like too. But I do have a friend that tans and she has a scare on her leg from an accident and she puts a amount of sun block over her scar cause she said it turns very dark if she doesn’t Tamyrn- I was banded on Feb 8 and had my first pb last Monday and it was nothing short of awful. Now that I think about it I have had no restriction since then either really. I am scheduled for my 3rd fill this Friday so I will be sure to let you know if my band is still in place, but I thought if it slips the opposite happens. I thought if the band slips you can’t keep anything down and even water becomes a problem, oh lord but what do I know. Good luck hun, keep us posted. Janet- You were missed while away, I hope that you are feeling better. We are all glad to see you back. And OH what a beautiful new picture, all you ladies are beautiful. Quote “ Tammy & Michelle, on the hair loss: Our nutritionist told us this week that the hair loss from the anesthesia (sp) starts at about 3 months out” OMG why is this the first time I am hearing this??? No one at my doctors office every said a word to me about this. I guess that what I get for not wanting to read all the possible side effects. I read them and it scares me to death! Thanks for the great info on the first bite blues, I have noticed that eating in the mornings is not something I want to do. I am always running late and in a hurry, I know I am not suppose to skip meals but I would rather eat later than to pb early!! How you have managed to catch up on all of us, how are you and Mikey doing? You’re always such great support and comfort; allow us to return the favor. How is Janet doing?

Princess Glitz hooter HMM I have always been rather busty!!! lol

I grew up in SC and miss it sooooo much. IF you are reading this and still living in South Carolina never take it for granted. South Carolina is wonderful and so are the people that live there. Ok with that said, I am currently living in New Jersey and I wont say how I feel about that but I was banded here by a wonderful doctor. Now here is the question, my cousin who still lives in SC is looking for a band doctor.............any one have someone that would like to referr? She has checked into a couple of doctors so far and wasnt impressed with either of them. Any help you could give would be appreiated

Wheetin that is wonderful girl, Be proud and CELEBRATE!!!!:clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2:

Hello My Friends, Update on the family- Aunt is at home now and seem to be doing well, uncle still in ICU unsure of what the next step will be for him. Mom is feeling a lot better now. I want to thank you all for the support and prayers. Nanster- good to see ya back, we have missed ya. I am a bit jealous, I so want some of my family to come see me. I havent seen any of them since Christmas. I am with Michelle, it sounds like you may be a little too tight. Give your doctor a call, he may want to see ya, keep us posted! Michelle- Geesh I had I know atleast 2 handfuls of hair come out this morning while blow drying my hair. I was suppose to see my band dr tomorrow and I just now called to confirm and they said he isnt going to be in the office tomorrow and they needed to reshedule. OMG!!! Now I am due for a fill next Friday and I wanted to talk to him about this hair loss thing too. The lady on the phone said we would have to reschedule my fill and my appt. Ok I am usually a pretty easy going person but not this time. It took me nearly 2 weeks to get this appt and now they want to reschedule. After going over the next 3 days she said we would have to do it "sometime" in June!!! That is when I said " You have DR.GRITSUS call me today, I am his patience and I will not be treated this way. Can we say MOODY???? She ask me to hold on and then another woman came in the phone, "office manager". She was all full of " I am so sorry", lets see what we can work out. So I am seeing the dr today after I get off work, he is staying late. Ok how come I feel so guilty for demanding what is rightful mine. SIGH!!! PJ- welcome to our group, sit down , tell us about yourself, and stay awhile. I was banded on Feb 8th. Great weight loss!:clap2: Sunta- How is that second going? Almost FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!

Sherri If I remember right , it was some where in the neighborhood of $22,000. I have excellent insurance so out of pocket todate is around $200.00

But did they say now much you lose before the hair starts growing back? A round face and a bald head..hmmmmm not too pretty!

Michelle It is so funny you brought this up, just this morning while blow drying my hair I noticed handfuls coming out. I thought maybe it was due to stress but if you're doing the same thing...hmmmmmmmm I didnt think the Lap Band would cause hair loss, I knew the RYN was known for that but now I am wondering. Geeesh I hope not, I dont think I would like me too much bald. Ughh now I need to go and do some research!

Good Morning ladies I think I will join your little group if you dont mind. I have went back and read this entire thread and you all seem so wonderful. I do live in NJ, not by choice, but because of the job situation in South Carloina where I am from. So I am a born and breed country girl through and through. I am married with 3 teenage girls, one a graduating this June from high school, on turning 13 in aug and one turning 17 in december. I work a full-time job and have not really made any friends since moving here almost 2 years ago. Kat- Please know that you and your husband are my in prayers, I am a firm believer he answers!!!! I managed to lose 3 lbs over last week. No more 270 for me! I did however have my first...hmmmm...ya know I am not sure if what I did was pbing or not, you tell me. I woke up with my tummy growling, I try not to eat much at dinner time. I have never had any trouble eating in the mornings at all, so I went for some left over hamburger steak with brown gravy. I had take about 2 bites when the pain started. The pain was in my back between my shoulder blades, and no matter what I did it wouldnt go away! My mouth started doing that watering thing, that's when ya know it is coming. Well it took its sweet time. I walked, I stretched, I twisted, I did any thing to try and make the pain stop, but nothing worked! So after what felt like 30 minutes, really on 10 minutes, the two bites came up. The relieve was amazing! Before I could stand from being bent over the toilet the pain was gone! Please someone tell me this isnt PBing! I can not imagine doing this on a regualar basis. I have read some thread where people say they pb 2 or 3 times a week. I have an appointment for another fill on the 26th but now I am a little scared. Now I am a little gun shy, do I have another fill, or is this one just kicking in. I had this fill about 2 weeks ago and for the first time felt some restriction. Need some advice......

Good morning my friends, Update on my family, my Mom is home finally and sick herself now. She was at the hosiptal for the week with her sister and brother-in-law so there is no telling what she has caught. My aunt has been moved to a regular room but they are concern because she is running a fever. My uncle had to have another emergency surgery, he still isn't doing to well. Just keep all of us in our prayers. I have been fighting the stress eating, some days have been better than others but I am proud to report a 3 lbs loss this week. I still cant seem to make myself excercise tho. I have been so sedative for so long this is truly going to be hard for me but I am not giving up. I had my first ...hmmmm... I dont know what you would call it. I got up yesterday morning with my tummy growling, I try very hard not to eat much at dinner. So I went for some left overs from the night before. I took a couple of bites of a hamburger steak with brown gravy and the pain set it. Now I have had this pain before but never to this extent. It was pain between my shoulder blades in my back. No matter what I did, walking, moving, strecthing, nothing would help. Then comes the water into my mouth. I knew what that meant. For 10 minutes my mouth watered. I tried to make myself throw-up with no luck. Then the two bites I had taken came right back up with this huge amount of slime. OMG I hate throwing-up but the relieve was immediate!!! The pain left as soon as the meat came back up. Ok now heres the thing, I called my doctor last week and made appointment for another fill on the 26th. I have heard that some peoples fills dont kick in for a week or two so I am wondering if I should still get this fill. I have noticed that I can eat more now but after this I am not so sure, need some advice .......... I had that "watery mouth" all day yesterday. I did manage to eat later that day with no problems and I have always been able to eat in the mornings. But I was scared to try this morning. Whata y'all think?