thewifehere

Trying to get information for my husband who is currently 300 pounds at 6'0" tall making his basic BMI calculation 40.7. He's tried dieting so many times over the years but always ends up higher than he started. When we first married 11 years ago he was VERY fit, muscular, and broad shouldered weighing about 190. Because of work stress, life stress, and bad eating habits he's now where he is today. Low carb/keto is how he prefers to diet. Right now he's considering the lap band to force him into losing the 100 pounds. He doesn't have an eating disorder that I know of, he just needs something to keep him straight that's more than just his mind. He says he plans to follow the strict plan with eating properly and exercising and then take it out after having it a year. And then from there continuing to keep a clean healthy diet and exercise regime. Other than sleep apnea, he doesn't have any other health issues that we know of. His blood tests all look good and other than being quite over weight he's healthy. Anyone else done this? What are the downsides? I know people don't like the lap band long term, but is this a better plan? We are fortunate to live in an area where there are many, many very good doctors and the ones here still do lap band. Was hoping he could use it as a tool to get to a healthy weight and then maintain from there. We have our first consultation next week. Would love thoughts from experienced people here. Thanks in advance!

Anyone here's personality change (for the better) after WLS? Been with my H for 13 years and in that time he gained over 100lbs, developed a drinking problem which he's quit now, became much more pessimistic about life and overall seems depressed and isn't fun to be around even though he has a beautiful family, a wife that takes care of herself, and he is financially successful. We are as close to getting a divorce as possible without the signed papers. He thinks WLS will fix a lot of this. Similar experience here anyone?

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My husband and I just started exploring weight loss surgery literally last week… I brought up the concept of the lap band because I thought it was a temporary tool he could use to lose the weight he had been wanting to lose and then you can take it out after a year. We have met with two surgeons and my husband has decided that the sleeve is probably the route he wants to go. He is thinking of getting the surgery in three or four weeks. To me this seems sudden, he is in his 30s and weighs 300 pounds at 6 feet tall. He was overweight as a child and had to diet in high school and work really really hard to be at a “normal weight.” He’s gained over 100 pounds in the last 9-10 years (8-10lbs per year) and had a lot of yo-yo dieting. He says he does not want to struggle for the rest of his life trying to get back down to a normal weight and stay there. We have been married 11 years. I am trying not to pretend I can really understand where he is coming from, I am fortunate I have not ever had weight issues. Does this seem too sudden? I do not want him to make a decision that he will regret the rest of his life. He says what he would be missing out on is over eating and this would allow him to live the healthier lifestyle we have talked about for years. We are very much so two people who once we decide on something we have our mind made up, I get it. I just want to make sure he’s making the right decision and I want to support him the best way I can, but I want to make sure it is the right decision. Thank you in advance for your responses. This forum has been very helpful to me so far. edit: The doctor we met with today who he would likely go with is an older gentleman who has been doing this forever and he gets lots and lots of good reviews. He says he thinks my husband would make all of this look easy, my husband is a broad shouldered muscular man in very good health other than being overweight with sleep apnea. It didn’t seem like he was blowing smoke. Maybe only good things can come from this.

My husband plans to get the sleeve in a few weeks. He's 6'0" and 300 pounds and 35 years old. At his peak shape in his early 20's he was 190lbs with a very muscular upper body. He's hoping to get back there but has voiced some concerns about becoming 'skinny' which has never been his build, he doesn't want to lose his muscular chest/arms. Is this a matter of making sure he exercises/lifts? Can he keep that general build with WLS? Any personal experience would be great and if someone has another thread with photos to point us to that would be great.

When I met my husband in 2007 he was 22, super fit, very muscular, and weighed 190 pounds at 6'0" tall. He was chubby as a child, raised by his dad and didn't grow up in a healthy eating household. He lost weight in high school, gained it back early college, then lost weight again at the end when I met him. Fast forward to now and over the past decade he's eaten too much bad food, drank too much beer, had too much life stress and work stress and now weighs 300 pounds (BMI 40.7 btw). He's talked for years about wanting to lose weight, he'll low carb for a little bit and have some success but then falls off the wagon and feels bad for himself and decides to 'start tomorrow' or keep putting it off. This has been frustrating for me to say the least. I've had his 3 kids, love to be active, and truly enjoy eating and cooking healthy and making good food choices. I weigh the very same I did when I met him (115 pounds at 5'3" tall) and have always cared about staying healthy. We are in a rough spot in our marriage right now because of many stressors, one of which is this weight issue. It's not so much the weight as it is the reason for the weight, the constant procrastination, the food and beer that he put ahead of our marriage for so long. I know he's unhappy, so why does he eat almost an entire pizza in one sitting tonight? He always TALKS about wanting to be healthy, but then does the opposite. I just cannot understand it. He had a protein shake for breakfast, cooked a healthy 'hello fresh' meal for lunch, and then had that pizza for dinner. I feel awful for even posting this, I know this is his journey but at the same time I have feelings too and my feelings are that I want to be with someone who has the same values that I do, cares about being healthy for his children and me in the long term, cares about his appearance, cares about his food choices. I brought up the lap band to him last week saying I thought it was something he should look into and consider, at the time I thought it was something temporary he could put in, lose the weight, and then take out when he got to where he wanted to be. Now I'm learning that's not the case and I've discouraged him from WLS. Truly if he could just do keto like he always says he wants to do, actually STICK with keto and making good choices then I KNOW he could do it, I know that if he'd just commit to the lifestyle change that he could accomplish his goal. But now he's saying he wants to do the lap band so it forces him. And I worry this is a recipe for disaster. If he doesn't have the will power to commit to keto on a daily basis I worry that something like WLS will throw him further into a depression because it's such a permanent choice. I don't know how to properly support him. I want him to lose weight because I know he will be SO MUCH happier in literally every aspect of his life. But why can't he just choose to do something like keto, stick with something. Do I support this WLS idea? I just don't know. I don't want him to be unhappy and miserable forever. And at the same time I want my healthy fit husband that I married 11 years ago. Edit: he wants the band for a year only so he can lose the 100 lbs by following the protocol to the T and then take it out and maintain by being super diligent with his diet and exercise. He says 'he's done it before' twice once in HS and once in college and knows he can, but wants the 'sure thing' with the lap band forcing him to lose that 100 lbs.

You guys. Wow. Thank you for the responses. I mentioned earlier that we have other marriage problems... most of our marriage (since I was pregnant with #1 so 8 years at least) has been fighting about beer/drinking and also his weight gain/unhealthy life choices. I realized last year that he was early stage alcoholic, he uses it for coping with stress from a high power job. Didn’t know what being an alcoholic really meant until I educated myself and once I figured it out I was done (another story for another day). Once I realized this I was very clear, quit or we are getting divorced. Through a few ups and downs the last few months he’s admitted he has an alcohol addiction and had quit. But this has to also go hand and hand with the weight gain. The two have been so intertwined. I feel bad for him, I want to help him and I’ve told him for a long time that I want him to get healthy so he can be around for the kids and me. ugh this is so complicated. Sorry to spill here. My life is complicated. I go to therapy myself and we’ve gone together as well. So much therapy. I worry that if he decides on WLS it will only be to save our marriage and I don’t know if that’s a good enough reason to do it, I don’t want him unhappy with his decision and ending up making things worse. yes, I also think deep down he’s depressed and I pray he works through that with his therapist. so I guess I support him if he decides to look more into WLS. We have a consultation tomorrow so I guess I’ll learn more there.

I’ve already tried that 😭 we turned it off half way through because he kept arguing it was propaganda. We’d recently watched Forks over Knives and I was sold on WFPB. He’s not. He believes in keto.