BigSue

Your boss shows you the ladies he's checking out on his dating app?! Gross!

Yes, in today's society, being thin is generally considered a good thing, so statements that indicate that you look thin are usually intended as compliments. Some people make exaggerated statements like this ("You're so thin that you look like you are wasting away!") with the intent to highlight what they consider a positive attribute (thinness). I got compliments while I was losing weight but still obese, "If you lose any more weight, you'll blow away in a gust of wind!" In some cases, people who genuinely care about you could be concerned that you are ill, especially if they don't know you had weight loss surgery, but if this is the case, they will usually approach you in a more private and sensitive manner, not just an offhand comment in public.

I use my highest recorded weight (from my initial consultation) as my starting weight. I lost about 70 pounds before my surgery, and I remember my surgeon saying, "Don't worry, you still get credit for the weight you lost before surgery." At the time, I was mildly annoyed because, in my mind, that meant he was taking credit for the weight I lost without the surgery, but now I understand what he was really saying. I lost over 200 pounds from my highest weight until now, and it was all part of the same process.

I didn't know Dr. Weiner had a support group! I've seen his videos on YouTube and I think he is awesome. He seems to understand and genuinely care about bariatric patients. I can imagine that his support group would be excellent for someone who doesn't have access to a local support group or therapist. This is really good info for the people on this forum.

It’s understandable that you’re upset by this setback, but it’s way too early to declare failure. The first several months after WLS are a major adjustment and very stressful, both physically and mentally. Do you have a therapist? Your post reads like a CBT textbook chapter on cognitive distortions, and all of this can be addressed in therapy.

I would suggest you do some more research into which surgery to get. There are pros and cons to each. Many people choose the sleeve over gastric bypass because it has a lower risk of dumping syndrome, vitamin deficiencies, and ulcers. Most doctors want to do what’s best for the patient, so they should be able to explain why they recommend the sleeve for you. Do you know how many calories you are eating? Have you tried measuring and tracking your food? At your height and weight, you are eating approximately 2500 calories per day, and you will need to eat less to lose weight. Either surgery works as a tool to help you eat less, which is how you lose the weight.

Buy a Ninja Creami!

How many calories are you eating? "5-8 oz" is not a meaningful measure of the number of calories you're eating. 5-8 ounces of peanut butter is a lot more calories than 5-8 ounces of cauliflower. If your weight is stable over a long period of time, you're eating a maintenance level of calories. The smaller you are, the fewer calories you burn just to operate and move your body, so if you're eating the same number of calories at 195 pounds as you were eating at 273 pounds, you're not going to lose weight as quickly, and maybe not at all. If you want to keep losing weight, you will have to reduce your calorie intake. Calorie intake is much more important for weight loss than exercise. Exercise is certainly beneficial, but as you have noticed, it makes you hungrier, and it's very easy to eat more extra calories than what you burn from exercise -- especially if you're not monitoring your calorie intake. Also, don't get too hung up on the number on the scale. There's no magic in reaching your goal weight. You might need to reevaluate your expectations. It's quite possible that your goal weight will be too low for your body, especially if you are building muscle. And don't be in such a rush to get plastic surgery, either. Your body will redistribute itself over time, so some parts of your body that you don't like now may improve on their own without plastic surgery. You may still want to get plastic surgery eventually, but there's a reason most surgeons want you to have a stable weight for a while before you get it.

I struggled with this initially, so I used a timer while eating. After taking a bite, I would set a timer to chew for 30 seconds, followed by a timer to wait 60 seconds before the next bite. Get in the habit of putting down your fork between bites. At this point, I have gotten so used to eating slowly that I haven't needed a timer in years. This might be a little controversial because some people believe it's important to eat mindfully without distractions, but I would go crazy if I had nothing to do between bites. I usually do something else while eating, either working on something for my job or scrolling Facebook or something. I eat lunch at my desk and take bites 3 minutes apart (doing work in between bites). It typically takes me 30-45 minutes to finish my lunch.

If you trust your surgeon to cut into you and rearrange your digestive system, you should probably trust his pre-op instructions. I would hope he is better qualified to provide medical advice than a bunch of strangers on the internet who have never met you.

There was a huge recall of products containing precooked chicken that affected a lot of different brands. This has a 400+ page document showing all the products affected in the recall: https://www.fsis.usda.gov/recalls-alerts/brucepac-recalls-ready-eat-meat-and-poultry-products-due-possible-listeria

@ms.sss you absolutely must get a Ninja Creami. You can make your own delicious ice cream in whatever flavor you want, fat-free and sugar-free, with extra protein if you like. I make pistachio all the time and it is delicious.

I'm 4 years out and have maintained a stable weight for over 2 years. I've taken a lot of cues from the WLS veterans on this forum because I'm acutely aware that a lot of WLS patients experience significant regain, and I live in fear of that because I've gone through a lot to lose 200 pounds and I don't ever want to go back to obesity. I learned early on that one of the keys to long-term maintenance is closely monitoring and tracking weight, and taking action promptly if it starts to creep up. I weigh myself on a daily basis (usually more than once a day). My weight can fluctuate quite a bit, sometimes by 5 pounds within a single day, so I consider my normal weight range to be 135-140 pounds. As long as I'm within that range, I don't give it a second thought. I may be outside of that once in a while, but I don't worry about it too much unless I stay outside that range for more than a couple of days. I've continued to track everything I eat and stay within a calorie limit. Five years ago, I would have been horrified to imagine tracking my food long-term, but I actually think it makes weight maintenance more sustainable. I could probably get away without tracking at this point because I habitually eat healthy, low-calorie meals, but much like having a financial budget, having a calorie budget allows me to prioritize and make conscious decisions about what I want to consume. If I'm tracking my food, I know whether I have room in my budget for a treat today, or if I want a specific treat, I can make sure to leave room in my calorie budget. I think this is really important because I don't have to go off track or have an out-of-control "cheat day" to eat what I want. I eat healthy foods most of the time (with the occasional treat within my calorie budget), and I've completely overhauled my diet. I've gotten the sense that one of the pitfalls that can lead to regain for WLS patients is that we can rely on our restriction for the first year or so to limit our calorie consumption, but if we continue to eat high-calorie foods like fast food and highly processed snack foods, once the restriction is weaker, we can eat enough calories to regain the weight, and/or eat around the restriction by having multiple smaller portions of high-calorie foods. I eat a lot of vegetables and salads, lean protein (chicken, pork loin, seafood), and legumes, and avoid sugar, refined carbs (rice, pasta, bread, crackers), fried foods, and other calorie-dense foods like cheese. I've discovered a lot of healthy foods that I love eating, so I don't feel deprived with delicious low-calorie meals. Initially, I was very strict about weighing and tracking every bite of food, but I've gotten much more relaxed about it and I just eyeball things that are negligible. I still weigh and measure things with higher calorie density like meat or oil, but I don't measure lettuce because even if I underestimate, it will be a 10-15 calorie difference at the most, and I log half a tomato instead of weighing the exact number of grams. This is another reason that weighing myself is key -- I know that if I'm maintaining a stable weight, my guesstimates must be close enough. Exercise wasn't a huge part of my weight loss strategy; I didn't do any exercise at all for the first 75+ pounds, and then I just did YouTube videos at home. Exercise has become a huge part of my lifestyle in maintenance, though. Not only do I do cardio at home on a daily basis and a minimum of 15,000 steps per day, but I also take fitness classes including strength training a few days per week.

Recently found out a family member got engaged, and for the first time in my life, I'm looking forward to attending the wedding wearing something fabulous! I used to dread (and sometimes skip) attending weddings because it was impossible to find something to wear in my size.

I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t be in a rush and don’t compare yourself to others. It’s not a race or competition. Everyone has different circumstances and factors affecting rate of weight loss. For example, the more excess weight you have, the faster it comes off, so you can’t expect to lose as quickly as some who started 50 kg higher than you. i know most of us go down the path of WLS because we are fed up with being obese and we are desperate to lose the weight after a lot other attempts. Of course we want it to happen as fast as possible. But here’s something to consider. WLS makes it virtually impossible to fail at losing a significant amount of weight. That’s the “honeymoon period” for about the first year after surgery and almost everyone has amazing results. What really matters, though, is what comes after the honeymoon period. It is heartbreaking to see people go through all of this to lose 100+ pounds only to regain it. It doesn’t matter how fast you reach your goal weight if you don’t stay there. You have a whole lifetime ahead of you, decades, to enjoy your new chance at life. Trust me, in 20 years, you won’t care how many pounds you lost in the first month or two or six. Don’t worry about how fast of slow you’re losing now. Keep following the program and you will lose a lot of weight. Set your sights on the rest of your life, everything you will get to experience in your new body, and how you will keep it.