BigSue

Oh yeah, so annoying to be told what facial expression you should have! I have never once heard anyone tell a male coworker to smile.

It is satire, not serious advice, but it's a hilarious portrayal of some of the problems we ladies face in the workplace like being considered aggressive if we act like we know what we're doing and bitchy if we don't smile all the time.

Awesome! It's great to see success stories from people like you who have been able to lose the weight and keep it off long-term. Congratulations on your success.

It's normal for your weight to fluctuate by a couple of pounds (up or down) when your weight is "stable," which it kind of is during a stall. I weigh myself probably more often than I should, but I have seen my weight fluctuate by a couple of pounds within the same day, depending on when I weigh myself relative to eating, drinking, going to the bathroom, and exercising (sweating). And of course, the clothing and shoes you're wearing will directly affect the scale as well. So if any of these things are different from one day to the next (e.g., you weigh yourself in pajamas before breakfast one day and after lunch in jeans the next), that could look like a gain. For that reason, a lot of people recommend only weighing yourself once per week so you don't go crazy over those normal fluctuations. Are you following your surgeon's diet plan? If you are, it's basically impossible not to lose weight at this point, so don't get stressed over a couple of days in the wrong direction. I know it's frustrating; I'm not losing weight as quickly as I hoped, and it's tough to see posts here from people who started lower than I did and have lost twice as much weight in the same amount of time. You just have to keep reminding yourself that it's a marathon, not a sprint, and if you stick with the program, you WILL get results.

You'll be fine! There's a lot of variation in pre-op diets, and many of them allow lean meat during some or all of the pre-op diet. Mine allowed one meal per day of lean protein and veggies (less than 350 calories) for the first week, and all liquids for the second week. You should still follow your surgeon's directions from here on out, but this one small deviation more than a week before your surgery will not mess it all up. (And if you were going to cheat, turkey was just about the best choice.)

I'm not planning to tell anyone at work that I had WLS, either, so I'm not sure what I'll say if people start asking (I've lost over 90 pounds in the last 6 months and nobody has said anything so far, but I'm still pretty big, so it might be a while before they notice). My plan is to say something like, "Wow, that's a personal question!" My backup plan for persistent people is something vague like "high protein, low-carb," which is technically true, or maybe just, "eating healthier." If you want people to leave you alone/run away screaming, you could say you're in an MLM (Herbalife, Beach Body, Arbonne, ItWorks... or all of the above) and invite them to join your team for an amazing business opportunity. P.S. I'd like to recommend a book you might like: How to be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings by Sarah Cooper.

It is pretty weird for your program to require you to use a specific brand of protein shake. My program provides guidance on protein shakes and a list of recommended shakes. They said protein isolates should be the primary form of protein, but concentrates are acceptable (but shouldn't be the only form of protein used in a day). They also require less than 200 calories, less than 15 grams of sugar, and 15-30 grams of protein per serving. Premier Protein ready-to-drink shakes are on their list of acceptable shakes. I mainly use whey protein isolate powder, but ready-to-drink shakes are convenient on the go, so I sometimes drink Equate High Performance shakes (which are pretty much the same as Premier Protein).

Congratulations on your success and the amazing improvements to your health!

I second the ricotta bake recommendation -- it's the most popular bariatric recipe for a reason! I like to top it with shredded canned chicken mixed with marinara sauce (Newman's Own brand has no added sugar). Low fat cottage cheese is one of my go-to quick lunches. I like to top it with Flavor God nacho cheese or pizza seasoning. Another favorite is fat free refried beans (mixed with unflavored protein powder) topped with shredded canned chicken, enchilada sauce, and Laughing Cow white cheddar cheese (cut up in little pieces). It's hard to get enough protein from food at this stage, so you'll probably have to make up the difference with protein powder and shakes. If you're eating sweet foods, I think it works better to mix a complementary flavor of protein powder than unflavored. For example, vanilla protein powder in vanilla yogurt, chocolate protein powder in chocolate pudding, cinnamon protein powder in oatmeal. One of my favorite combinations is vanilla Oikos triple zero yogurt with chocolate protein powder and powdered peanut butter.

For ready-to-drink shakes, I use something similar to this: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0089M2EEG They used to have one for 12-ounce cans (regular soda cans), and that's what I use, but it has been discontinued. Too bad -- it's the perfect size for a Premier Protein/Equate shake. I'm not sure if a Premier Protein would fit in the one linked above. I also have some of these: https://www.amazon.com/The-Fridge-Drink-Cooler-Lifoam/dp/B0019KFB7M These are great for cans, but not as good as the Vacu Vin for Premier Protein/Equate shakes because the shakes are kind of square-shaped and don't fit snugly. For protein powder, I just mix a small amount at a time so it doesn't get warm before I finish drinking it.

I've heard/read a lot of people say that "you have to get your head right" if you want to succeed in WLS. I'm not really into counseling; I guess I just don't believe in trying to change my thoughts and I find the idea of therapy kind of... contrived? (I really don't mean to offend people who do find counseling helpful; if it helps you, awesome! I'm just skeptical that it would do me any good.) I also had a bad experience in the past with being forced into counseling with an unethical therapist, which soured my view of counseling. I really want to succeed at WLS, though, so I'm willing to give counseling a shot if there's a chance it could help. I never thought I'd willingly eat mashed cauliflower, either, but I've opened my mind to things I wouldn't have tried before surgery. Plus, I've reached my out-of-pocket maximum on my health insurance, so any counseling I get before the end of the year would be fully paid by my insurance. So, does anyone who has gotten counseling specifically related to WLS have any advice, or can you share how it has helped you? What should I look for in a therapist? I've done a cursory search of nearby therapists in my insurance network, and I haven't seen any of them specifically mention things like WLS, food issues, or eating disorders. I don't think I have an eating disorder (like binge eating disorder) and I don't think I am really an "emotional eater," but I do think I have some food issues and some baggage relating to eating and weight that have contributed to my weight gain. Would someone who deals with "mood disorders" cover that, or should I look for someone with specific expertise in eating disorders or WLS patients?

I think it's pretty normal not to be able to meet your goal for fluids the first few days. They pumped you full of IV fluids in the hospital, so you started out well-hydrated, and you should be able to increase your fluid intake gradually. How much did you drink in total yesterday? Are you sipping throughout the day? It's basically a full-time job for the first few days. Measure out one ounce at a time and try to drink that in about 10 minutes.

Good luck! I hope it goes well.

Weird -- it was kind of the opposite for me. I used to hate drinking unflavored water ("Life's too short to drink plain water," I used to say), but now I don't mind it, and sometimes I even prefer plain water. I do still like flavored water, too, but I drink a lot more plain water than I used to. Maybe you could try calorie-free water enhancers (Mio, Crystal Light, etc.). There are many flavors available, so you should be able to find one you like.

Ricotta bake definitely fits into the "soft food" stage! It is amazing -- the first thing I got to eat that seemed like "real food." I divide one recipe into 8 pieces. Ricotta bake was my dinner for two straight weeks when I reached the soft food stage. I started adding half an ounce of canned chicken mixed with a tablespoon of marinara sauce. I live alone, so I am fortunate not to be around other people eating food all the time. I don't know how people do it when they have to watch their families eat. I've just had one hard experience at work where my boss bought lunch for the department to reward my team for a job well done, and it was a food I love but couldn't eat. It was even more difficult because I don't want anyone at work to know I had WLS, so I had to get rid of it without anyone knowing and pretend that I ate it. It was so tough to have something delicious right in front of my face and know that I couldn't eat it, so I feel for you. I do think it gets a little easier once you're past the liquid stage and can eat something resembling real food, things you can chew. Stay strong and look forward to your delicious ricotta bake!

There's also a nasal spray vitamin B-12 (Nascobol), which requires a prescription. My surgeon will prescribe it upon request, but I just take a sublingual tablet. I buy it on Amazon, Nature Made brand, and it's very inexpensive (~$7 for 50 tablets). It's cherry-flavored and tastes pretty good, almost like candy.

Good luck! That’s great that you lost 40 pounds before surgery. That’s a good indication that you’ll do well after surgery, too!

It’s much better after surgery. I’m 6 weeks out and haven’t been at all hungry since I woke up from surgery. I’m eating less than 500 calories per day and I feel good. Before surgery, if I went a single day under 500 calories, I would have been weak and tired and ravenously hungry. The liquid diet still sucks after surgery because it just gets boring, but once you get to purées, it’s easier because you can eat things resembling real food.

I know what you mean -- I hate the idea that the fat-haters of the world have shamed me into losing weight. I did it for my health, but now that I've gone through the surgery, I find myself anxious for a time that I will fit into society and not be "the fat lady." I'm so tired of being treated like a second-class citizen because of my weight and I can't help but think how nice it would be to look and be treated like a "normal" person for once in my life. Being fat has sort of a built-in a-hole detector, and, well, there are a lot of a-holes. If a man is being nice to me, I know for sure it's not because he wants to get in my pants. And when I have a professional accomplishment, nobody thinks I used my feminine wiles to get an advantage. If I lose enough weight to look "normal," I will probably wonder about everyone I meet how they would have treated me at 300+ pounds. I've never had a boyfriend or even been asked out on a date (I guess the cool kids call it "talking" instead of "dating" now, but it doesn't make a difference to me), so I don't even know what I'll do if men start hitting on me once I lose enough weight.

Hang in there! The first few days are miserable, but it gets dramatically easier after the first week or two (especially once you get to purees and can start eating things resembling real food). I think the protein and fluid goals are unrealistic for the first week -- everybody has trouble meeting them in the beginning. Have you tried protein soups or hot chocolate? I found that warm liquids went down easier than cold.

It looks like you have two separate issues: your surgeon/hospital, and the decision to have WLS. As some of the other replies have said, I think you should consider changing surgeons. You probably have other options, and you are a customer -- if you don't like the treatment you're getting, you have the right to go elsewhere (this, of course, depends on where you live and how your surgery is being funded). Getting WLS is not just about the cutting. It's a lifelong journey, and the followup visits are a big part of that. I've read that patients who go to all of their scheduled followups are more successful than those who don't. My program requires 8 followup visits in the first two years (once/year thereafter), and you probably don't want the hassle of going to such a disorganized office so many times. The most concerning thing to me is that you don't know which surgery you're getting. That is a pretty big deal, and you should be the one to make that decision, even though the surgeon may have strong recommendations. Now, he could refuse to do a certain procedure because it would be harmful to you, but you still have to agree to whatever procedure he does recommend. I actually wouldn't have a problem with the informal tone of his e-mail. Doctors are people, too. I bet some people like the fact that he acts like a normal person and doesn't insist on being addressed as "Doctor." When I was looking into surgery, I was concerned about the hospital's reviews, too, but it turns out that pretty much every hospital in my area has bad ratings. I suspect that very few people have good experiences at hospitals, because you only go to a hospital if you're sick or injured. There are always complaints about wait times (because there are a lot of patients), billing (because medical care is crazy expensive and billing is complicated), and outcomes (because not every patient can be saved, and sometimes it takes trial and error to solve problems). Now, about the decision to have WLS, I went through some very similar doubts before surgery. I lost over 60 pounds on my own before surgery, and I started to think, "Maybe I can keep going on my own instead of going through with this." I have yo-yo dieted most of my life, but I had never lost that much weight before. About 10 years ago, I lost 50 pounds and kept it off for several years, but I eventually gained it all back plus 30 more pounds. I took some pre-surgery pictures of myself the day before surgery -- after I had already lost over 60 pounds -- and that made me realize how far I have left to go. If I lose 100 pounds from my surgery weight, I'll still be obese. And every pound is a little harder to lose than the last, so the chances that I could lose that much without surgery are... slim. This is a very personal decision that you have to make for yourself, though, and if you're not ready to do it now, you can always wait and see how far you can get on your own. P.S. If you want your stats (like starting weight, weight lost, and surgery date) to show up when you post, you can click on your user name on the top right of the screen, then select "My surgery" under Settings.

This might not help because you said you don't want glass, but I use these 4-ounce "baby food containers": https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0854P3XS1 https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0854P2X1W They are oven, microwave, dishwasher, and freezer safe (well, the lids are plastic so don't put those in the oven), and pretty low in price (currently $14.99 for six, but the price fluctuates and I got them for $12.99). I like the rectangular ones (first link) better than the round ones because the lids on the round ones are a little difficult to put on and take off. I specifically wanted glass rather than plastic because plastic gets scratched and stained. I also think it's more enjoyable to eat out of a glass container than plastic, but maybe that's just me.

I started looking into WLS about 15 years ago, but my family talked me out of it (not because they didn’t think it would work, but because they thought I would die or have horrible complications). This time around, I didn’t tell anyone (other than medical professionals), and I don’t plan on telling anyone. I have heard a lot of criticism of WLS, mostly by people who are ignorant and have no idea what’s involved with it. It’s interesting that people are telling you that it’s not a quick fix, because I think the most common misconception people have is that it’s the “easy way out.” It’s not. It’s hard. It is the most effective treatment for weight loss, so I don’t know why so many people would rather see us continue to struggle with yo-yo dieting that has been proven not to work. i wouldn’t necessarily say to ignore the opinions of your friends and family because at least some of them are saying these things out of genuine concern because they care about you. But take their opinions with a grain of salt because they most likely don’t know much about WLS. Pay more attention the the people who have actually been through it, like people here. I watched a lot of YouTube videos before my surgery by people who have been through it, and that really helped to prepare me (for both the good and bad parts) and put my mind at ease. Part of the reason I was so easily convinced not to do it before was that I was so intimidated by everything I’d have to do and what I’d have to give up, and I didn’t know if I could do it. Seeing real people who were in the same boat as I was get through it made it seem possible.

I had my gastric bypass done robotically. When the surgeon told me about it, he was emphatic that he, the surgeon, would still be performing the surgery, just using the robot to control the instruments. I got the sense that he has encountered people who were concerned about a robot performing their surgery because he said this multiple times. He says that he can do it with or without the robot, but he prefers to use the robot, and I was fine with it because I wanted him to do it the way that was easiest for him! My surgeon used the Da Vinci robotic surgery system, and I found some videos about it on YouTube. This one shows you a little about how it’s used:

I had gastric bypass on July 16 (6 weeks yesterday). I've lost 20 pounds since surgery (the rest was before surgery), and I'm disappointed because I'm not losing weight any faster than I was before surgery when I was eating 3-4 times as much. It is easier now because I haven't been hungry since surgery. I am now under 250 pounds, which is my lowest weight since college, and the weight that I have been lying to say I am for years. Now I will have to pick a new lie! I used to have high blood pressure, and now I'm solidly in the normal range (not even pre-hypertension) with no medications. My A1c went from 8.1 in February to 5.2 last week, also with no medications. I am discouraged, though, because I have lost more than 90 pounds from my highest weight, but I'm still wearing the same clothes. They're a bit too loose, but not quite to the point of my pants falling down. I can wear a few things now that were too small at my highest weight, but I've only gone down one size, MAYBE two. I didn't get around to taking "before" pictures until I had already lost 40 pounds, but I recently took 1-month post-surgery pictures and I honestly cannot tell a difference between my pictures at 250 pounds and at 300. Even though my butt doesn't look any smaller, I have lost enough padding that sitting is a pain in the @$$ (which I was expecting eventually, but I thought I'd have to lose a lot more weight before I experienced that). What gives? How could I have lost more than 25% of my body weight without getting much smaller? Am I losing muscle but not fat? I will say I can tell a difference in my face (my phone doesn't even recognize my face half the time now), but that's not much consolation. I don't think any full-body pictures exist from my highest weight since I intentionally avoided cameras, but I got my passport picture taken at my highest weight and then procrastinated so much on sending in the application that I decided to get the picture retaken.