BigSue

I really try to avoid talking about my weight. When people bring it up, I generally acknowledge and quickly change the subject. Obviously, people realize that I am on some kind of diet, but I don't discuss specifics. Last week, a supplier bought lunch for the department, and one of my coworkers said, "Hey, Sue, I don't know if it's allowed on your diet, but Acme brought in burgers and fries." I was really startled and kind of embarrassed that he brought up my diet, but then I realized it's not like it's a secret now that I've lost 150 pounds. Still, I don't like talking about it. I don't know my neighbors very well and I don't have any close friends nearby. I feel like it would be awkward to bring over some random frozen foods, you know? I'm thinking of how I would have felt a year ago if a neighbor brought over some random food, and I think I would have been suspicious... and maybe offended (like, do they assume I want their junk food because I'm fat?).

Looks like you have done your research! That's great that you found a clinic you like close to home. Which way are you leaning for the type of surgery to have? No matter what the surgeon says, it is ultimately your decision. I actually went into my consultation leaning toward the sleeve, but my surgeon recommended gastric bypass and I ended up going with that. I never really considered duodenal switch because not many surgeons even do it, but I have since realized that it is more common than I thought.

Welcome! I’m glad you found us. This forum is extremely helpful. Feel free to ask any questions that come up. It’s great that you have your mom as a resource, too! Duodenal switch is not nearly as common as RNY or VSG. I don’t think very many bariatric surgeons do duodenal switch, so if you are seriously considering that, it may be harder to find a surgeon who offers it. It’s too bad that your insurance won’t pay for it, but the good news is that you should be able to get the surgery more quickly since you won’t have to jump through as many hoops. You might want to look into practices that specialize in fast-track bariatric surgery for self-pay patients (such as Blossom Bariatrics and Mexico Bariatric Center). I can’t vouch for any of those, but there are people on this forum who have used them.

Ugh, clothing stores are annoying! There seems to be a new trend for determining your size, and they start by asking the size and brand of your best-fitting clothing. Well, I don’t own any clothing that fits! That’s why I’m trying to figure out my size!

Wow, that's horrible. I hope you know, but I'll say it anyway, that you do NOT deserve to be treated this way. There is a lot of stigma on obesity and weight loss surgery, and I think almost everyone on this forum has had to deal with hurtful comments about it, but it is the worst when these comments come from people who are supposed to love and care about us. It looks like your husband is not speaking from a place of wanting what's best for you, so it is all the more important that you look out for yourself and don't be influenced by people who are biased against weight loss surgery out of ignorance or personal disgust. Now, there are pros and cons to it, and you should definitely research on your own before you take the plunge, but your decision should be about what's right for your health and your life. (And the next time your husband says he doesn't know why he married a fat woman, you can reply, "I don't know why I married an a-hole!")

I haven't heard of such a service, but if you're willing to pay, I'm sure you could get a private chef to prepare stuff for you. But honestly, I don't see a need for it because (1) the liquid/pureed stage is very short in the great scheme of things (I mean, it feels like an eternity when you're in it, but it's really only a few weeks), and (2) you're so limited in what you can eat that it's pretty easy. Has your surgeon provided a list of foods for each stage? Take those foods and add some protein powder and you're all set for the pureed stage. I over-stocked pureed foods. I bought a bunch of sugar-free pudding and unsweetened applesauce for the pureed stage, and I made a big batch of pureed black bean soup (frozen in individual servings), and 5 months later, I still have a lot of it. I even stayed on pureed foods for longer than required because I was afraid of getting sick from eating solid food. I guess I was kind of stupid when I bought all of that because I wasn't thinking about how I could only eat half a container at a time. Since I've been out of pureed and soft foods, I haven't eaten much of that stuff because there are better things I can eat now.

First of all, if you are following your surgeon's instructions, you are doing nothing wrong. Something I've found eye-opening about this forum is that different programs can vary quite a bit in pre- and post-surgery meal plans, so just because yours is different than someone else's doesn't mean it's wrong! Second, if you feel comfortable entering some info about yourself in your profile, it would be helpful for context, because a lot of things depend on your starting weight and BMI, your current weight and BMI, and how long ago your surgery was. A lot of people who start at the low end (BMI <40) are disappointed in their weight loss because they compare themselves with people who started with a BMI over 60, but the higher your weight, the faster you can lose it. Also, if you are a tall man, your calorie needs will be higher in general than for a petite woman. I am 5.5 months out from gastric bypass and I typically eat 500-600 calories per day. The nutritionist for my program told me at my 6-week followup to increase my calories to 800-1000 per day, and although I have followed all other instructions of my program very carefully, this is something I have not done, partly because I don't think that I could. My program says to eat three meals per day and avoid snacks other than protein drinks. I'm also supposed to get at least 60 grams of protein per day (and sometimes I fall short of that). Eating three small meals per day that are focused on protein, I would have a hard time getting 800 calories in a day. I feel that it is important for me to avoid snacking because I don't want to fall back into the old habits that got me to 341 pounds. I have had two additional followups with my surgeon, and he says that I'm doing great and to keep on doing what I'm doing. I just got my 6-month bloodwork (I did it a little early) and everything is great, so I feel confident that this is working for me. But you are a different person, and you should listen to your surgeon for what will work for you. The caveat to that is that a lot of surgeons seem to have a one-size-fits-all approach, which I think is what happened with me. I'm a 5'3" woman, and I suspect the nutritionist gave me the same advice as she would give a 6'3" man. Here are some examples from my food diary from the last few weeks (these are not consecutive days -- I tried to pick days with a variety of foods because I tend to eat the same things over and over). Ignore the weird order of meals; I was working night shift for a couple of these, so the timing of my meals was different.

It's hard to predict how you'll feel after surgery. Some people have easier recoveries than others. I went back to work 11 days after my surgery, but I could have gone back a week earlier and been ok (but I have a desk job and don't have much personal interaction with others, so I don't have to be "on" all the time). I felt kind of crappy for the first few days after surgery, but by 5 days after surgery, I felt pretty normal. The day I went back to work, I felt great. I think the biggest challenge with returning to work is getting all of your fluids and protein. It's basically a full-time job for the first week or so. It might be challenging for you as a teacher to pay enough attention to your fluids and protein while you are watching/interacting with the kids (I don't know what grade you teach, which could affect how closely you need to watch them). As for feeling weak or tired due to low calorie intake, everyone is different, but the amazing thing to me about surgery is that I have a very low calorie intake but do not feel any of those hunger symptoms. I'm 5.5 months out now and I feel great with plenty of energy even though I am averaging less than 600 calories per day. Before surgery, going even a single day under 600 calories would make me feel weak, light-headed, and ravenously hungry. The safest bet is to wait until summer when you have plenty of time to recover You would probably be ok doing it on spring break, but you might as well take advantage of the time you'll have in the summer so you don't feel pressured to return to work before you're ready. I know that once you decide to have the surgery, you are anxious to get it done ASAP. Right now, waiting 5 or 6 months may feel like an eternity, but by the time you get to surgery day, it will feel like the time flew by. Also, you say you are in the beginning stages of the whole process. I'm not sure how far you've gotten, but you may not be able to get through the whole process by spring break, anyway. Do you know your insurance company's requirements for surgery approval? Many insurance companies make you go through 3 or 6 months (or more) of medically-supervised weight loss before they'll approve the surgery. Your surgeon may have additional testing requirements that you'll need to complete, like an upper GI test, psychological evaluation, nutrition classes, etc., and that could all take a few months.

I don't have this problem, but I find that drinking a warm beverage fills me up pretty well during the day. Have you tried drinking a cup of tea, decaf coffee, or protein hot chocolate? Also, are you taking a proton pump inhibitor (acid reducer)? I think if you have too much stomach acid, the feeling can be confused with hunger. It might be something to discuss with your surgeon.

Oh no! Do you know what you ate that caused the dumping? I have not experienced it (yet?) because I am very cautious about what I eat, out of fear of dumping. You are only two weeks out, so you have to take it easy on the stomach for a while longer, but I’m sure you will eventually get back to the point of being able to eat solid foods all day. Hope you’re feeling better!

I do not eat snacks. I just eat three meals per day and sometimes add protein drinks between meals. I do eat a protein bar as a meal sometimes. I'm obsessed with Built Bars -- I've tried a lot of different protein bars, and nothing else has ever measured up to Built Bars. It seems like most people either love them or hate them, so I'd recommend starting with one box to see if you like them. They have a 6-bar variety box and an 18-bar box with all 18 flavors on their web site. You can buy single bars from the BariatricPal store, but the shipping isn't worth it unless you're already buying other stuff (and they don't have all of the flavors).

Congrats! You’ve made so much progress in one year!

Have you been able to tolerate other protein drinks without issues? If it's the sweetener, you can always stick to unflavored protein powder.

Welcome! This forum is so helpful because most people in our lives don't understand what we have gone through living with obesity, or what we go through before, during, and after the surgery, but everyone on this forum is in some stage of that process. I have chosen not to tell anyone other than medical professionals about my surgery. I am a private person in general, and I have heard too many ignorant, judgmental comments about people who have had weight loss surgery. Yes, a lot of people think surgery is the easy way out and that you're inferior if you can't lose weight without it, but those people are ignorant. WLS is not easy -- you are making permanent changes to your body and major changes to your lifestyle. WLS is proven to be the most effective treatment for obesity, and the only treatment with more than a 5% success rate for long-term weight loss. I think there should be no shame in getting the most effective treatment available. Unfortunately, people who have never had to struggle with their weight don't understand what it's like and want to feel superior by being able to manage their weight without surgery, but that is their problem, not yours. I live in fear every day of regaining the weight. I would be devastated to go through all of this only to end up back where I started. WLS is pretty much the last resort, so I feel like this is my one shot and I can't waste it. I have paid a lot of attention to the people who are several years out and I'm trying to learn from the people who have kept the weight off as well as the people who have experienced regain. It seems that the keys for the people who have kept the weight off are (1) eat healthier foods, not just smaller quantities of the foods you used to eat, and (2) monitor your weight regularly and take action promptly if you see regain (don't wait until you've gained back 50 pounds). I definitely get the weight as part of your identity, because it's been mine for decades. But I think you will find that the change is going to be overwhelmingly positive when your weight no longer limits everything you do.

I'm almost 6 months out and still relying on protein powder to meet my requirements. I don't think I could get all my protein from food even if I ate nothing but meat, unless I started eating between meals, which I'm trying not to do because I don't want to fall back into old bad habits. I got tired of protein shakes between the pre-op diet and the post-surgery liquid stage, so I mainly mix protein powder into my food. My go-to breakfast is half a container of Greek yogurt plus half a scoop of protein powder (my favorite is birthday cake flavor, but I also use chocolate sometimes). That's 19 grams of protein. You can also mix protein powder into applesauce, protein oatmeal, or pudding, and unflavored protein powder into things like refried beans, soups, and other purees. A lot of people like to add protein shakes to their coffee instead of creamer for a protein boost. I like protein hot cocoa and find it much easier to drink than cold shakes. What brand of protein shake were you drinking when you had the allergic reaction? You'll have to avoid whatever caused that, which could limit the kinds of protein you can have (although it is possible that your reaction was to a different ingredient and not the protein itself). If it was whey protein (which is generally the recommended type), you may have to use plant-based protein. There are some recommendations on a recent thread here:

You can add protein powder to almost anything puréed. I add unflavored protein powder to savory food, but I prefer to use flavored protein in sweet foods (e.g., cinnamon roll protein powder in applesauce or protein oatmeal; chocolate or vanilla protein powder in yogurt or pudding). Try drinking your protein shake just a few ounces at a time throughout the day. I find that hot beverages go down more easily than cold: YMMV, but you could try protein hot chocolate (if you make it with Fairlife milk instead of water, it has as much protein as a shake).. A lot of people have trouble meeting fluid and protein goals early on, but it gets easier, so just do your best right now.

My program’s guidelines were less than 5 grams of sugar per serving, so both of those would be fine. Different programs have different requirements, though, so it would still be good to check.

Congratulations! I haven’t read any books about WLS. I honestly think this forum is the most valuable thing you can read because it’s from people who have actually gone through what you’re about to do. You can ask any questions that come to mind and there will probably be someone here who can answer. I think a lot of programs fall short on telling patients what to expect, but if you stick around here, you’ll be well prepared. Items that I find useful: A good food scale. Protein powder (I tried a bunch of samples during my pre-op diet to find some I liked) - flavored and unflavored. A portable blender/milk frother really helps for mixing protein powder. Small containers - I have a bunch of 4-ounce glass containers (sold as baby food containers) that are perfect for meal prep, and I also use a ton of disposable 2-ounce containers with lids. A good pill organizer- you’ll have to take a lot of vitamins after surgery, so it’s nice to have a big pill organizer. I have one with 7 separate boxes, 3 compartments per day, that all fit into a larger box but can also be taken out individually.

Congratulations! That’s awesome!

I lost 45 pounds in the first 3 months. I lost about 70 pounds before surgery, so at that point, I was 115 pounds down from my highest weight. It was right around that time that people started to notice. For the first 100 pounds, not a single person at work commented, but once I hit 110 pounds down, I was getting comments about it left and right (a big part if it was probably that this was the point that I couldn’t wear my old pants anymore, so I had to buy smaller pants that fit better). That said, @GradyCat is 100% right that you should not compare yourself to anyone else. Everyone loses weight differently due to many factors, most of which are beyond our control. The biggest factor of all is your starting weight. You haven’t entered that in your profile, so I don’t know how much you have to lose, but there are people who started 100 pounds lower than I did. Someone with a starting BMI of 35 is going to lose more slowly than someone with a starting BMI of 60. How long it takes to see a visible difference depends on your body shape and weight distribution, and you can’t control where the weight comes off first. For me, my belly wants to hold onto that fat, so my legs, hips, shoulders, and chest are smaller, but I still have a big, flabby belly.

Nope, you did not gain a pound! It takes 3500 excess calories to gain a pound, and I’m 100% sure you did not eat that much a week after surgery. It’s completely normal for your weight to fluctuate by a couple of pounds. Even over the course of a single day, your weight can fluctuate by more than a pound, depending on the time of day, the timing with respect to eating and going to the bathroom, salt intake (which can make you retain water), etc. A lot of people recommend only weighing yourself once per week so you don’t see those little day-to-day fluctuations. Mashed potatoes are not the best thing to eat because they’re high in carbs and low in protein, but a lot of programs allow them in the puréed stage (you might want to mix in some unflavored protein powder to add some protein). Is a deviled egg really allowed in the puréed stage? At this point, the concern is not about stretching your stomach so much as tearing the sutures that are holding your stomach together. It’s really important to follow your surgeon’s instructions to allow your stomach to heal properly.

Hang in there! For most people, the first week after surgery is the worst part of the whole journey, but once you get through it, it’s mostly smooth sailing. A lot of us have those feelings of regret in the beginning. I remember waking up from my surgery thinking, “Why did I do this to myself?” and wishing I could go back in time and cancel the surgery. Five months later, I’m seeing great results and so many improvements in my health and my life, and I’m so glad I did this. It’s hard right now, but you have a lot to look forward to!

I buy BariatricPal brand oatmeal from the BariatricPal store. You can get the same thing on Amazon under the brand name BariWise.

Cottage cheese? I like cottage cheese with nacho cheese seasoning or pizza seasoning (from Flavor God). That makes a quick and easy breakfast. What did you eat for breakfast before surgery? Most of the breakfast foods I can think of are either sweet or egg-based. I don’t know if you’d go for oatmeal since it’s usually sweet, but that’s a nice breakfast option (you can buy protein oatmeal that is low in carbs and protein-fortified, and I like to add some additional protein powder to that). But nothing says you have to eat “breakfast food” in the morning. You could have ricotta bake or grilled chicken or some chili or whatever else you like to eat.

You have to accept that everyone is different and every WLS patient has his or her own experience. One of the worst things you can do for your own mental health is compare yourself to other people. There are so many factors that affect your weight loss after surgery, many of them beyond your control, so you just have to have faith and follow your surgeon’s directions. Don’t worry about whether you’re losing weight faster or slower than anyone else. Don’t worry about whether you have different food tolerances than anyone else. Stalls are also mostly outside of your control, so all you can do is remember if/when it happens that it’s normal and fine and it doesn’t mean your surgery didn’t work. It looks like you’re doing great so far, so count yourself lucky that you haven’t had to go through the frustration of a stall so far.