SciTeach

It is a scary time but I am looking forward to it. With Dr. Lane in Lansing, Michigan

Hi All, I am a science teacher in Michigan and I have been to one appointment and one session of the seminar series. I have diabetes and a BMI of 38 and I am hoping to really reduce the diabetes and gain some of my energy back. I am tired by the end of the day and I can see that my lessons, while good, are not like the ones when I was younger and thinner. I want to get back to that. I am very well thought of in my community but I can tell a difference and I know that things could be better. In the title for this post, I state that I am nervous and depressed. Am I doing the right thing? Having the kind of change that I read in many of your posts is certainly supportive and I would like to have those changes as well. This is a drastic step to take but I am in need of something drastic since nothing else has helped. I am very apprehensive about never again having foods that I currently enjoy, like a bagel. I keep finding myself thinking "Is this my last ....?" I have heard of others going out for their "last real meal" and having their "last ice cream" and so on. I guess that it is natural to think of things in those terms since eating will never be the same again. But it also brings to mind the condemned man and his last meal. His life is about to change and so is mine. Being able to eat such a small amount makes me wonder if a certain amount of depression creeps in as you realize that doing something like sharing a pizza with a friend now means having only part of one slice, assuming that your digestion can handle even that. Eating is so social and such a part of our culture. Making this step kind of feels like it did when I moved away from all of my family after college. I got used to it and ultimately liked it but I certainly had lots of strong feelings about it before and during that process. I am not worried at all about the procedure, just the changes that will take place in my life. Will the good things be as good as I hope they will be and how do I minimize the negative parts? I know that I am going into this with the understanding that it is for life. But, am I choosing the Lap Band option over the bypass because of my perception of the finality of the bypass? The Lap Band can be removed even though that is not a common procedure, but it is some kind of back door that could be used if ultimately needed. I am choosing this surgery so that I can live longer and have better health during whatever time I have left. I do not see another option since I have tried other diets and so on and like most of us those things did not work or they did not last. While I know that dieting like that has a very low success rate, I guess that I do feel the guilt of being overweight and that I am taking the route that is perceived by many as being the easy way out, even though that is not the case. It is a hard way to go, but it seems to be made possible because of our sense of responsibility after the surgery and the immediate reminders that we get because of the Lap Band. If you do not follow the rules, bad things could happen (not just weight gain). As I reread this post, it seems to come off as pretty gloomy. However, it did do me some good to write this down knowing that someone else could possibly read it. I have not talked so candidly with my wife but the relative anonymity of a post helps with the inhibitions. Thanks for reading, SciTeach