SAS11

My surgery is scheduled for about three and a half weeks from now. My period just ended, and if my cycle goes as it typically does I will probably get my next period around the time of surgery. I’ve had major surgery before where the physical trauma stopped my period from coming for that month, and maybe that will happen if my period doesn’t start the day before or day of surgery. But what if it does start then? I tend to have heavy and painful periods, and I really don’t want to be menstruating while I’m going through surgery and the worst part of recovery. Has this happened to anyone? I want to prepare for coping with it during my hospital stay if I have to. But I’m also considering getting birth control pills just for a month to try and stop my period from arriving on surgery day.

I’m curious if anyone else found themselves having an almost impossible time of maintaining the pre-op diet and if that had an impact on whether your surgery was able to proceed. More context: I think I’m having such a hard time because by the time I got to the point where I had to start the pre-op diet, I’d already been eating pretty close to it for several weeks and my body knows that it’s starving and won’t let me live on liquid right now. If you’re interested in knowing why I’d been eating an almost-liquid-only diet for weeks before the pre-op diet, read some of my previous posts. The relevant point is that for most of July, August, and September I was drinking three protein drinks a day and having a small dinner in the evening. And now that what I’m being told to do is drink three protein shakes a day and have chicken/fish and vegetable in the evening, I can’t get myself to do it. It’s not a matter of not wanting to or not making it past the first few days. It’s that continuing to do so after all of these weeks is now keeping me awake all night with hunger and headaches and my brain is foggy. To be clear: what I’m eating right now isn’t hugely different from what I was instructed to do. What I’m actually eating is one protein shake, two protein bars or protein snacks with lesser amounts of sodium, and the chicken/fish and vegetable meal every day. So it’s not like I’m eating regular meals or eating things that aren’t even close to plan. I actually crave protein when I’m hungry and end up eating lots of protein even during times of regular eating outside of this pre-op period. What I’m interested in knowing is: did any of you not do perfectly with staying on plan but you were still able to have your surgery without a problem? For clarity, I’m not looking for anyone to tell me to keep doing what I’m doing and I’m not looking for approval. I would just like to know what realistically happens to other people. Lastly, don’t even think about shaming me for posting this. “Tough love” is just an excuse to be a jerk, especially when you don’t know the person you’re talking to. If your thoughts about this are that I just need to be more disciplined, more committed, suck it up, or whatever, don’t bother commenting. If your thoughts are that I’m doing something horrible to myself and am not going to be able to stick with things post-op, don’t bother commenting. The full context of this situation is important. For months I’ve been starving without the help of having a smaller stomach, and right now I’m coming up against the limits of my very strong will in ways that I don’t like.

It’s okay! I really appreciate both of the comments from other people that I see right now. Right now I’m seeing MsMocie and The Greater Fool, and I thank you both for making me feel less alone. I can’t remember who the other post was from.

That wasn’t in response to you. I think someone else must have posted and deleted it because there was something else here before.

I just love how some people here are so smug about how perfect they are to think it’s helpful to tell a person who says, “I’m not doing well” that they aren’t doing well. It’s about as helpful as any other instance of telling someone what they already know and rubbing it in their face. I’m glad that some of you are so perfect. Maybe if the rest of us caught up all of humanity’s problems would disappear. Smh.

I wish that my pre-op diet was that short. My surgery is November 3 and I’ve been doing my pre-op diet (badly) since October 3 and it’s miserable. Doing this for any amount of time is awful.

The sensory experience of food (particularly texture) is important for me. That’s why I feel like I’m losing my mind living on liquids with only one solid meal a day.

I’m going to ask this question to my surgeon as well, but I’m wondering if anyone here knows: Is there a reason that protein snacks (e.g. Kay’s Protein Snacks or Quest Protein Chips) aren’t listed as permitted foods on most pre-op diets but protein drinks (and sometimes protein bars) are allowed? The nutrition facts on some of these protein snacks are only negligibly different from the protein drinks I’m drinking, and sometimes they even have less carbs and fat. So it doesn’t make sense to me why I can’t have them. They are sometimes just a bit higher in sodium, but I haven’t been advised to limit sodium.

I had thought that I accidentally put mine in a day early too. But now that you say you’re experiencing the same thing, I don’t think the problem is us. I think the system is reverting it to a day earlier somehow.

I feel kind of weird asking this here because I don’t want to imply that this forum is bad for everyone, but... where do you all get support online besides this forum? Honestly, I’m starting to feel like this is a very unsafe place to get support but I’m not sure of where else to go. I’m deaf, so the support group at my surgery center isn’t accessible for me communication-wise. I really need spaces online, especially once I get to my November surgery date. I haven’t posted much, but I’ve been lurking for a while and have experienced a lot of anxiety over the way that other people are getting shamed on these forums. In the few months I’ve been lurking on these forums I’ve seen other members being shamed for all kinds of things: having second thoughts about surgery, eating something too soon after surgery, eating something that isn’t the ideal food, regaining weight, and making different kinds of mistakes. That’s not the kind of environment I need to be in. I’m hard enough on myself when I don’t do something perfectly in any area of life. Once I have my surgery I think I’ll be crushed if I come here seeking support and am shamed and treated like I’m subhuman for not doing things perfectly. Some of the things that are said here by other members would seriously derail me if those things were said to me. But I’ve not had much success with finding other internet spaces that are as active as this one. Where do you all go besides here when you need support? Preferably, I’m looking for places where shaming other people isn’t tolerated.

I’m absolutely not rescheduling this surgery. I’ve been miserable on the pre-op diet and there’s no way I’m starting that over at some point after already going through a full week of it. I should have clarified about the birth control: if I did this I would start it immediately and stop it a week in advance of surgery to avoid the clotting risk, and my hope would be that I could force my period to come again early. (I’ve done this before for other reasons.) I’m not concerned about the medical team being unable to handle it. I’m more concerned about my own discomfort. I *really* can’t stand using pads and feeling all of that blood on my body. It’s a sensory thing. I use a menstrual cup, which I’m sure will not be allowed during surgery.

Following this thread! I don’t have anything to say in the way of advice, but I have PCOS too and will be having surgery next month.

I feel lucky that I was told I could have my own psychiatrist write a letter saying that I’m competent to consent to surgery and understand the risks and benefits of the procedure. I was worried when I started my process that I wouldn’t be allowed to do that, and when I was told that I could it was a huge relief.

I’ll have my surgery on November 3, and I take Lamictal for bipolar disorder. I saw a similar thread for this related to gastric sleeve, but I’m getting the roux-en-y gastric bypass. I’m a healthcare professional myself and have read up on the pharmacology of Lamictal, and based on my reading I think things should be fine. But I’m curious if anyone has specific experience related to a need for dose increase or decrease post-op. And how soon after surgery we’re you able to take your meds again?

I’m starting my pre-op diet on Tuesday of this week. I know that all programs are different. For me, I’ll have four weeks of: 3 protein drinks, 4 oz chicken or fish, and 1 cup of vegetables per day. I’m not concerned about my ability to limit myself to this. For several weeks now I’ve already been drinking 3 protein drinks per day and eating a protein, 2 portions of vegetable, and a potato or grain carb for dinner. So really, this will be almost the same except the only carbs I’ll be getting are vegetables, and my food will need to be plainer. Long story about why I had already been so close to the pre-op diet for several weeks: dietician from hell who shamed me every time I came in because I hadn’t lost as much weight as she thought I should. I had no option but to stay with this dietician until the surgeon cleared me, so the only way I could cope with working with her was to take matters into my own hands and eat much less than she was telling me to. For me, that was the only way of surviving this because I left every appointment with this person in a horrible space as far as mental health goes. Then, after I essentially starved a bunch of weight off, she finally stopped being so aggressive. Because of the story above, I do have some concern that I’ll end up not losing as much weight during the pre-op diet as my providers think I will because it’s really not too much different from what I’ve been eating since July. In any case, what are your best tips for managing this type of pre-op diet? Particularly for avoiding boredom with it because I’m definitely getting bored with food already and haven’t technically started yet. Please do NOT tell me about your pre-op diet that allowed other foods than what I have listed above. What I listed is what I’m allowed to have, so I can’t do things that other programs might allow such as having a different Lean Cuisine every day.

I really love the Celebrate protein bars. Available from same website as Celebrate vitamins.

Wondering if anyone else had a hiatal hernia that was either repaired or was not during their gastric bypass procedure. I’ll be having mine repaired when my surgery takes place. If you have experienced this, did it make recovery any more difficult?

My upcoming surgery in November will be alone because of COVID. I’m really upset that my partner won’t be allowed to be with me. I’m having the roux-en-y on November 3. Dreading it with everything in me. You are not alone in being concerned about having no one with you.

Yes, I’ve already voted by mail.

Thank you all again for the suggestions and responses. Sounds like some of you have some great resources through your programs. The one I’m going through is a highly reputable program and I’m there specifically because of the surgeon and not because of any thing else. But the level of other support is very lacking. If I weren’t so committed to working with this surgeon, I’d be going somewhere else.

I’m actually dreading the whole thing. Everything about it. Dreading going to the hospital during COVID, that communication breakdown is going to be more likely because everyone is masked and accessibility at hospitals is hard enough already, the procedure itself, the recovery period, all of it. I just want to get it over with so that it’s done and I never have to do this again.

I appreciate the encouragement that you all have stated here. Thank you for encouraging me to stay. I’m sad to learn that there aren’t really other internet spaces where I could go, but I guess that’s just how it is. I’m really dreading my surgery date and wish that I could discuss that with people who have been there.

Thank you for your kind words. The “tough love” posts aren’t quite as bad as the shaming and bullying ones, but I would put them in the same general category (i.e. posts that make me not want to participate in this community). Different people have different needs, and I respect that. Personally, I don’t believe in “tough love” and I consider it to be not really love and a mild form of bullying. If someone replied in such a way to something I posted seeking support, I would be likely to leave and never come back.

There are a lot of issues with automated captioning, especially when groups are large and people don’t have their cameras on so I can’t read lips. Deaf people spend a lot of time and energy on communication in daily life, and that type of situation is just too exhausting. Not worth my time and energy when I’m so worn out trying to understand what’s being said that I end up getting no actual support. I had at one point considered getting an ASL interpreter for the group, but even though interpreters are technically bound by confidentiality standard in their profession, a good number of them gossip within the community. And the deaf community is pretty small. So if I get an interpreter for the group I take the chance on everyone in the local deaf community finding out that I’m having this surgery.

My surgery is scheduled in November. I don’t have to start the pre-op diet until October, but I’ve been eating pretty close to it for the past 8 weeks anyway. I’ve hardly been eating enough to have any gastrointestinal motility. My eating has consisted of protein drinks plus one small meal per day. I’ve been drinking plenty of water and even taking fiber. But I’m getting horrible constipation. Last night I was in incredible pain from it. Has anyone else had this problem? How have you dealt with it?