Try to see their side.
You are asking them to see it from your perspective, so it is only fair that you try to see it from theirs. What are the reasons they may be against your Weight Loss Surgery, and how can you address them? In many cases, their concerns are legitimately about your well-being, and things you should consider if you have not already. They may worry that:
You will not hit your goal weight this time since they’ve seen disappointment before.
You will suffer complications from surgery.
You will regret having a permanent
Sometimes, their concerns are selfish but still worth discussing. They may worry that:
You’ll stop feeling attracted to them.
You will pressure them to give up their own favorite foods while you eat healthily.
They will feel left out.
You will not want to spend time with them.
Reassure them.
Address their concerns directly. Explain why you feel the surgery is safe, and how much research you have done to learn about it as well as find a surgeon. Tell them why you think Weight Loss Surgery will work for you even if previous diets have not.
Let them know that you need to do this for yourself, not for them and that this will not change the way you feel about them – you will still love your SO, and respect your parents, for example. Tell them how you see yourself spending time with them after surgery, so they can be comfortable.
Write it down and practice.
Starting the conversation can be the scariest part of telling them. Before you bring up the subject, write down what you plan to say. This is a good exercise for you to do anyway since it encourages you to think through all of the doubts around Weight Loss Surgery. Writing it down and practicing can make it easier for the words to come when you decide to bring it up.
Include them in your plans.
Often, your spouse and parents, and others who care about you, just want to help. They may be afraid if they do not how to help. When you talk to them, let them know how important they are to you, both in life in general and in this important period of your life. If you tell them specifically what they can do to support you, they may feel more at ease with your decision and more confident in their roles.
You might ask them to:
Pick up your children from school when you are recovering from surgery.
Go with you to the store to pick out protein powders and measuring cups and spoons.
Ask you each night how you are doing.
Cook healthy meals with you.
Prepare for anything.
The conversation may be as difficult and unfulfilling as you feared. Or, your SO, parents or other loved ones may be surprisingly supportive once they realize that you have done your research and are serious about making the lifestyle changes needed for success. They may even be interested in getting healthy with you and ask for your help and support in exchange for theirs.
Stay strong and independent.
As much as you long for your SO and other loved ones to support you wholeheartedly, it may not happen. Try not to let it get you down, though. If you are sure about what you want, go for it, with or without them. They will come around sooner or later, and if not, you may be better off without their negative influence. Letting them know that you have made up your mind regardless of their support may actually convince them to help you since there is no point in standing in your way.
Stay independent in the sense that you realize that you do not need them. Your success does not depend on their approval, and you are not doomed to fail if they stand in your way. Get the support you need from others as you move forward.
