SehorseGal

Weight issues have punctuated my life from as early as I can remember.  I wasn't "fat" as a baby or through adolescence, but, from the age of three, I was spoon fed a negative and inaccurate body image by my mother.  She single-handedly initiated me into the Eating Disorder Club of Baby Boomer women.  I have never been able to see myself as I really am.  Whether thin or obese, I don't see what other people do.  THAT body dysmorphia is incredibly unnerving.  In a world obsessed with body image who I am, how I present myself, is governed by my perception of my size.  It's like discovering that you have a second personality.  I have lost 50 lbs or more several times in my life but I have never been able to maintain the weight loss and associated habits that yielded that achievement.  

Gastric Bypass surgery is my only chance to take back what I surrendered to my food appetite; to be able to walk a mile or more for exercise, to wear the clothing my 'fit' self would choose to wear, to never be embarrassed to meet new people, to attend social affairs; to dance.  Most importantly, I am taking back my health.  I am terrified, but I am focused on the incredible achievement that I can claim when I have slayed this dragon once and for all.