Arabesque

I didn’t really have any negative experiences when I was overweight at least not ones I was aware of. I agree with @HotWing&APrayer. Often our confidence decreases & anxiety/self consciousness increases with our weight. Then any negative experiences crush us further. I was only at my obese weight for about 5 years so body dysmorphia probably helped me because though I knew I was obese I only saw myself as overweight which was ok in my mind. Though I know I also was more aware of not doing overt things that others may judge as ‘no wonder she‘s fat’. With my weight loss I’m certainly more confident which has made me more chatty with shop assistants, service providers, random strangers, etc. (Yep, I’m the one holding up the line chatting to the check out person or the stranger who starts talking to you the shoes you’re trying on.) It does make most of my experiences more positive. It’s either my weight loss or I’m turning into my mother & grandmother 😱😆. Have noticed more negative experiences for getting older like old person stereotypes & being ignored over younger people which annoys me A LOT. Not afraid to say about it something. The girl who presumed I was a grandmother got an earful!! LOL. I may be 57 but I don’t even look like I’m close to that ( & very grateful for that).

I ate fresh fruit around month 3 months after surgery. Usually watermelon at first as an afternoon snack. Then I added berries & grapes. I added some dried apricots to my rolled oats occasionally but found them too sweet. Check with your dietician though as fruit with seeds & coarse skin aren’t allowed in most plans for the first months. In maintenance I initially ate most any fruit again as an afternoon snack. Now I tend to only eat blueberries with my rolled oats at breakfast & rarely any other fruit though with summer coming I’ll probably have some cherries & lychees. Fruit is my main source of sugar cause I cut so much out of my eating. Eating really only one serve of fruit a day is my personal choice not because I can’t.

You know what’s happening. You said it yourself - eating more junk food & old habits sneaking back. It’s the battle we all face & always will to some extent. The surgery only changes our body not our brain sadly. All because you can tolerate those foods doesn’t mean you should eat them. But you have to make the decision as to whether you’ll eat them, how often you’ll eat them & how much of them you’ll eat. Finding a balance of our eating & weight & being able to live the life we want is something we have to discover for ourselves. It’s why many accept being a little heavier than they originally wanted as it’s less restrictive, more sustainable & allows them more flexibility to enjoy their life with family & friends. And that’s okay. Unfortunately, yes, exercising will increase your appetite as your body seeks to replace the calories you’ve burnt being active. If you’re more active you can eat more calories but less than you burn if you want to keep losing. Also exercising only contributes to around 10% of the weight you want to lose. So if you want to lose 20lbs, exercise will contribute to the loss of about 2 of those pounds. Of course, lots of other benefits to being active. I think you know what you need to do if you want to lose more weight. Start by making one change today. Then in a week or so make another. It’s easier to manage & accept going one step at a time. All the best.

I find the milk in my rolled oats does that to me sometimes. Not as bad as you but similar symptoms - nausea, cold sweats & general weakness & passes fairly quickly likely because it’s more low key than yours. I use lactose free milk but it’s like it’s too rich or something. It tends to happen if I have my milky rolled oats too early in the morning (like before 8am). It’s like my tummy isn’t ready for it. Possibly it happened to you because your tummy can be sensitive (& fussy) fir a while after surgery while you are healing. Though the spitting up saliva aspect sounds like the foamies (not so much the other symptoms though) which often indicates eating/drinking too fast or too much. Try diluting your shake to thin it out some & drink more slowly. Sip, sip, sip.

The truth is some people don’t lose their hunger after surgery. But it’s best to rule out the other culprits of thinking you may be hungry first. As @kaylee50 said, in almost most cases a rumbling, grumbling tummy does not mean you’re hungry. It’s just your digestive system doing what it’s supposed to: digest food. Not all food digests as fast as others so sometimes it can occur some ti e after you’ve eaten. This also leads to are you on a PPI as stomach acid can make you think you’re hungry too. Head hunger is a big culprit & a tough one to battle. Our brains are powerful & can convince us of lots of things. Are you hungry because you think it’s time to eat like it’s lunch time so I should be hungry? Are you hungry out of habit like because your watching a movie? Are you hungry because you’re stressed, sad, angry, frustrated, etc. & food is a way to sooth or comfort yourself? (The surgery is pretty stressful on your body, emotions & mind.) Do you think you’re hungry because your brain is telling you eating so little can’t be enough food? Try drinking something. I found a cup of green/herbal tea soothing & helpful. Distraction is also good. Go for stroll. Water your plants. Read, craft, play a game. Check out social media, you tube, this forum. Even waiting half an hour before having something to eat is often enough as real hunger doesn’t abate but head hunger does. Be careful eating foods not on your list of staged approved food. The restricted diet is in place to support & protect your healing tummy. Remember all because you can doesn’t mean you should. All the best.

It could just be up because of your weight loss & the stress of weight loss on your liver but it’s probably best to monitor it for a while. There are tests to ensure it’s not related to cirrhosis, fatty liver, gallstones, hepatitis, bile duct blockages. Will be interesting to see what your doctor says. My bilirubin levels were high & still are three plus years on. My surgeon asked if there was Gilbert’s in my family as a sign of that is high bilirubin levels. I discovered I did have an aunt with Gilbert’s & I also had a lot of the symptoms of Gilbert’s too (explained a lot actually) so my surgeon believes I likely have it too.

I get the foamies if I eat too fast, too much or anything that is too coarse or dry. Make sure your purées are still pretty runny & require little or no real chewing. Keep your bites small too. Use a teaspoon & don’t fill it. I used to sort of dipped the end of the teaspoon in what I was eating. Our tummies can be pretty sensitive after surgery while it’s healing & it’s not unusual to struggle with some foods for a while. Eggs, chicken ate big culprits fir many. I didn’t like any tinned fish but that was more a taste thing. Don’t give up on anything you struggle to tolerate. Give them a break, allow yourself to heal a little more & try again in a few days or a week or two. All the best.

Mine does it all the time. It’s doing it now. LOL! It’s like my own personal poltergeist rattling the chains. I spoke to my surgeon’s associate & she says it was just my digestive system doing what it’s supposed to do: digest food. It can rumble & squelch for a time after we eat because food digests at different rates. How noisy our system is now is probably just one of those idiosyncrasies that’s personal to us & that some experience & others don’t. Oh, and a rumbling, grumbling tummy in most cases is not a sign of you being hungry as we were always told.

Not personally but a young colleague had a series of iron transfusions. I recall her saying she would be exhausted for a day or so after. Best would be to ask your doctor about what to expect or watch for after the infusion. I would question you needing to take iron tablets after because the infusion should boost your levels back to an acceptable range but again ask because your needs may be different. Have they investigated if there is any reason for your iron levels to be so low? I know they were initially concerned my colleague had internal bleeding but tests showed she didn’t. Hers turned out to be a genetic issue as her sister & her mother were found to be very low in iron too.

To add to @SpartanMaker’s list, spare knickers or disposable underwear - diarrhoea is a real possibility & attacks can be extremely sudden. your own pjs, soap/shower gel. I found putting on my own pjs & using my own shower gel much nicer & sort of soothing than wearing the hospital gown & using their awful anti bacterial soap stuff all your prescribed medication in unopened boxes/bottles. Actually I know three others who also have had surgery (different weight & ages) & none of us needed a cane, stomach binder or couldn’t sleep in our bed from day one so I don’t know about ‘most’ needing those sorts of support equipment. Think it’s very individual. Save your money unless you actually need them. All the best.

Actually I managed most of my pre existing reflux through diet for years & only needed to take medication on odd occasions - maybe 5 times a year. I cut out a lot of carbonation, caffeine & rich & spicy food. I still have reflux & it is worse or at least the symptoms are different. It’s manageable with medication which I now take every day (only 20mg) & I still watch what I eat & drink. On the very odd occasion I have a second glass of champagne or a second gin & tonic the reflux is a lot worse. Thankfully that rarely happens because I usually only have a glass & aren’t interested in a second. Of course post surgery other factors are at play too. Definitely worth discussing further with your surgeon.

I slept in bed from immediately after my surgery. No need for extra pillows, a wedge or anything. I’m a side sleeper & often sleep with a twist so my bottom half is 3/4 over & slept that way in hospital too. Didn’t have any issue getting in or out of bed either. Was careful though just in case. I do have a high bed which may have helped 🤷🏻‍♀️ but I could get off my couch without issue too. Was the same after I had my gall removed. I guess it’s another one of those individual things. Like some find they need a binder & others don’t. It may depend on your surgery & whether you had anything else done like a hernia repair. It could depend on how much weight you carry & where you carry it (like a lot in your abdominal region). Who knows???

Walk, walk, walk. You can also march on the spot, lift & lower your arms, do some deep breathing & heat pads can help. The gas, which is in your abdominal cavity, tends to rise & gets trapped under your diaphragm pressing on your phrenic nerve which causes the pain. It can take up to a week for the gas to be absorbed into your blood stream & then breathed out. (It doesn’t escape your body by farting or burping as many presume.)

There are carbs & there are carbs. And there are carbs in many foods not just the ones we automatically think of like bread, pasta, crackers, etc. Like others, I wasn’t given a carb limit. Just advised to keep them low & told no rice, bread or pasta as most people are. I was allowed instant oats from purée & then transitioned to traditional coarse rolled oats. While losing I got carbs from barley, legumes & other vegetables & (blue) berries. Still do. For example there are about 60g of carbs in 100g of chickpeas which is more than 100g of white bread but the chickpeas are a complex carb & much better nutritionally for you In maintenance I was advised to look for multi/whole grains. I still keep my carbs lowish. Still don’t eat rice, bread or pasta not just because they are too filling & sit too heavily but also were foods I easily indulged in.

In the weeks before surgery you’re on the restrictive pre surgery diet so no alcohol for about two weeks +/- prior to your surgery. After surgery you’ll be advised to avoid alcohol too for a period of time. Alcohol is high in empty calories, dehydrates you & will slow your metabolism & weight loss. Plus there is the concern that if you have an addiction to food you will become addicted to alcohol as you can’t satisfy your food cravings.

Can’t believe no one is really willing or wanting to help. I think it may be time to find a new doctor too. As a side note I found acupuncture very helpful with my oozing disc pain which raises it’s ugly painful self every couple of months. (Except my acupuncturist moved like 90+ minutes away so not happy.) It dud more to help my back in a single treatment than the physio did in four sessions. It may help with your sciatica too. The last time my back went I had some sciatica as well & I found some exercises online to help stretch & open up the muscles & release the nerve. I added them to my daily stretches which I do to support my back. Just a suggestion.

We usually suggest people follow the plan they were given but in your case that won’t work because no one on your team is on the same page. I’d probably follow what the surgeon says to begin (especially through liquid, purée & soft food stages). Your surgeon would be more focussed on supporting your healing & recovery after the surgery. Once through the recovery stages, your dietician is probably best to support your ongoing weight loss & giving you nutritional advice. But that’s my thoughts. I’d also certainly let them know how confusing it & how easy it can be for a patient to do the wrong thing & do themselves harm.

It takes time for our head to catch up with our new reality & throw in some body dysmorphia for some more brain trickery. I’ve found now those mental pictures of myself are more just memories of what I once was but I still have moments of catching a reflection & being surprised. PS - It takes time for other people to see the new real you too which is why you may get those comments like: you’ve lost too much, when are you going to stop losing, etc.

I don’t eat chilli anyway as I have a sensitivity & it always stirred up my reflux & stomach acid something awful. I wasn’t told to avoid any herbs or spices & I remember adding garlic, ginger, parsley, chives & basil from soft foods. (Didn’t use fresh or dried at first but the purée versions.) Check with your dietician & then try to see how you go. You may not tolerate something at first but it may be fine later on.

The truth of the matter is not everyone reaches the goal weight they have chosen. And not everyone maintains that weight if they do attain it. Remember the average weight loss at three years post surgery (bypass or sleeve) is about 65% of the weight you had to lose to put you in a healthy weight range. Genetics, your body’s set point, lifestyle choices & preferences, age, gender, health & medications, etc. & yes a little complacency. But there’s nothing wrong with any of this. Any weight loss is a win. You may find a conversation with your surgeon, doctor & dietician helpful.

To add to everyone’s great advice above, don’t forget, your rate of loss slow as you get nearer to your body’s set weight. This is the weight your body is happiest at & will settle at. The surgery resets this from where it was but it may not be the weight you want to be. To get below this weight you will have to consume less & do more. It will be more of a struggle & difficult to maintain that lower weight because you’re fighting your body. Personally I’d put on weight at 1500 but I’m short at 5’3”, not very active, more finely built & 57. But before surgery I couldn’t lose eating 900 calories. But don’t think your weight loss is over yet. You’ll get where you’re supposed to be in your time & there’s nothing wrong with that.

First, congratulations on your surgery. Secondly, it’s okay not to be ticking all the boxes in the first couple of weeks. As long as you are making an effort & you are getting closer it’s okay. You’ll find some days are easy & otherwise more of a struggle. Your shakes, broths etc. all count towards your fluid intake and I used to dilute my shakes (doubled the water) to dilute the flavour & to up my fluid intake. Used to sip on them for a couple of hours or until finished. Also added a little more water to the soups & broths too. If you’re worried about your protein intake you can also add some additional protein powder to your shake & swapping in protein water for drinking water will help too. I embraced my dislike for sweet & used it to withdraw myself from sweet tasting foods & drinks. Once onto purees & more solid foods, you’ll likely find other foods, even old favourites, smell or taste bad too for a while. It passes. Vitamins can be a challenge. The taste, difficulty swallowing them, nausea, etc. I took capsules which were easier to swallow (once my swelling reduced around day 4). Some surgeons are strict on when you can begin swallowing meds & recommend chews or patches. So it can be a bit of trial & error to find the right ones for you. Expensive too.

Some people do experience diarrhoea. I had a terrible case on day three & a friend had attacks for about a week. Try some immodium to help. (It was on my list of meds to have on hand post surgery.) Don’t worry the constipation will come. PS - Watch out for wet farts. An unpleasant surprise.

Quite a common suggestion. I personally just used teaspoons & then cocktail forks (sporks). They do help you keep your bites small.

Your feet get fat just like the rest of you so when you lose weight you loose it on your feet too. I usually was a 38.5 but then went to a 39 when I gained my last 15kg. Now I wear a 37.5/38. Wait till your rings start to slip off your fingers cause, yep, even your hands & fingers get thinner.