Arabesque

Has anything changed? New medication? Lifestyle change? Has a little complacency slipped in? Not as active? You’ve been through Thanksgiving & Christmas recently could they have contributed? Go back to tracking your food & fluids to check you’re meeting goals. Go back to how you were eating before you reached your lowest weight in regards to portion sizes, calories, macros, etc. Protein first, then vegetables & finally only if you’re able any carbs you’re allowed. Check in with your dietician to ensure you’re not missing something. Remember not everyone reaches their goal. The average weightloss at the three year mark is 65% of the weight you would need to lose to put you in a healthier range. You’ve got this.

Sounds like you are ready to get back on track. This is the first step. Get back in contact with your team. Your dietician to help you ensure you’re making the best decisions around food choices, portions, nutrition, etc. Your therapist to help you get back on track mentally & emotionally. You may even be a candidate for a GLP-1 medication - worth asking your surgeon or primary care doctor if you’re interested. PS. I had those you look sick/have lost too much weight comments too. Just like it takes time for your head to catch up with how you look after your weight loss, so too for other people who struggle to see you as anything but obese. It can be hard to ignore these types of comments but you have to remember to put yourself first & the only opinion that matters is yours & how you feel about yourself & your weight. Those people who were so opinionated about my weight in the beginning stopped saying anything after a few months as they started to see me for who I now was - their image of me finally changed.

Protein water was my first thought. The change in our tastebuds (& sometimes sense of smell too) can make a lot of food & drinks taste terrible, overly sweet or salty. It’s only a temporary change but can make finding something palatable difficult. . Congrats on your surgery.

Brunging up thick mucus/saliva is the foamies which can occur if you eat too much or too fast or food that is too dry or coarse. You can bring up the last bite or so of what you ate too. The possible blood could be a concern. Have you definitely ruled out anything you ate or drank? Wouldn’t hurt to check with your medical team or go to a medical centre to be sure. Better to be safe & sure.

Everyone recovers differently. One friend was back after a week, another was three weeks while I was four. Is it possible to extend your leave if you need, or return part time or with reduced daily hours? Can you work partly at home? Better to have a plan in place your employers are happy with just in case you need it. All the best with your surgery.

Dr Weiner resources are great as are Dr John Pilcher’s. Bounce back regain is always a possibility in the second & third year. I believe the average is about 10lb/5kgs so that could be a possibility. This regain can be from not being as vigilant, how you were eating wasn’t sustainable (too restrictive) & didn’t allow you to live & enjoy your life as you want, a change in medication, & your body & new weight set point resettling. And yes, muscle weighs more than fat so some of the regain could be from that too. (Maybe have a dexa scan to compared your fat & muscle mass.) Start by making one or two changes to your eating & then in a week or two make another change or two. You can start small. Maybe track your food to begin. Then up your protein & fluids if you’re not meeting your goals. Adjust your portions if they have become larger. Then drop some of your sugar or carbs or swap the highly processed refined carbs for low processed multi or whole grain options. Etc. Small changes are often easier to adopt & adapt to than large all encompassing changes. Doesn't matter how long it takes you to get fully back on track.

Everyone fluctuates regardless of whether they’re trying to lose weight or not. Hormonal fluctuations, fluid retention, what we eat or drink one day compared to another, pooping, not pooping, etc. If you were like me you didn’t weigh yourself often so probably weren’t all that aware of your usual fluctuation. My usual fluctuation is about 1kg (2.2lbs) so I never worry about that weight gain or loss. It’s odd the way your body reacts. I’ve discovered I always weigh more the day I break constipation that I did when I was constipated. Your weight loss will never be a consistently straight downward line. It will zig & zag, go up & down, drop quickly one day slowly the next. As long as your weight loss trend is going down you’re golden. And yes reduce how often you weigh yourself if you find the number on the scale is messing with you.

You’ve just had a major surgery that has about a 8 week recovery so feeling low in energy, weak, lethargic, etc. is pretty normal. Remember you are consuming calories (just drinking them not eating them) & your body is burning your stored energy which you want it do. Try adding an electrolyte drink as one of your fluids for an energy boost. They can be sweet so I diluted mine - doubled the water added. I used hydralite & would sip it with my other liquids throughout the day. Listen to your body, rest if you need to & pace yourself through the day.

Puree can be tough. For some it’s a textural issue for others like me it’s a taste thing (everything tastes disgusting). You can puree a lot of things just add enough stock, milk, water, mayo, gravy, etc. to keep it the right dollopy texture/consistency. A friend told me she survived on pureed chicken with gravy. I mashed eggs with Mayo, was allowed thin instant oats, thin scrambled eggs, yoghurt, soups, etc. I tried pureeing tinned fish but blah! During soft foods I ate a lot of minced meat based dishes. Just made sure there was enough sauce/gravy to keep the meal wet. Also soft white fish, omelettes & made a couple of casseroles/stews & meat & vegetable soups. Yep, stalls can be frustrating & demoralising but remember an important step in your weight loss (when your body takes stock of your new needs & adjusts digestive hormones, metabolic rate, etc.). 17.5lbs in about 4 weeks is still pretty darn great. Even with the stall that’s an average of more than 4lbs a week. Can’t be upset with that.

I hope these work for you. I’ve been using them for almost a year now, not for the post surgical hair loss, but for menopausal thinning above my temple. Hasn’t helped yet. When I finish off this last bottle I’m not buying it again. They say you should see results in 3 months. Will be honest in that I didn’t use it every single day but I do use it 5 or 6 days a week. (It often made my hair feel a bit gloopy even though it’s not supposed to.) People swear by it so fingers crossed for you.

I stuff the top empty section of my bras with tissues. (Never thought I’d ever have to stuff my bras!) Doesn't solve the problem but fills out the gathers in the upper cup a bit. I looked into chicken fillets & post mastectomy inserts but they’re the wrong shape for our problem. Have to wear full cups as balcony bras, front opening, plunging, etc. just make the emptiness look worse & wrinkly.

As @catwoman7 said you can’t stop the hair loss you may experience. The hair on your head is already dead & would fall out as part of your usual hair loss cycle. This cycle is accelerated as a result of the surgery, restricted diet, hormonal changes, & general stress to your system. Your new hair is still growing just at its usual rate. Any supplements you take may only strengthen your new hair growth. Try looking for alternatives other than multi vitamin tablets. I found capsules easier to swallow & the coating muted the taste. There are patches (they don’t work for everyone), gummies & some vitamin supplements come in a mouth spray formulation (I take vitamin D/K in winter via a mouth spray - doesn’t really have a taste). Mine are from an Australian company which I don’t believe is available in the US.

I’ll start with your water issue. Our bodies need water/fluids. Keeps our blood flowing & therefore blood pressure lower, aids flushing toxins out of our bodies, aids brain function, reduce headaches, boosts energy levels, flushes bacteria out of our bladders & therefore reduces chance of infection, benefits your skin (dryness & wrinkling), eases constipation, etc. All because you didn’t drink that much fluid before doesn’t mean you weren’t doing the best for your body. In time your body gets used to the amount of fluid you are consuming & you won’t pee quite as often but again peeing is important. Remember feeling thirsty is a danger signal that you are in great need for fluids. You can add herbs & spices to your cooking to help boost flavour if you find that lacking. The period you are losing weight is an opportunity to try different foods, cooking styles, new recipes, etc. & to get used to eating foods that are not high in fats, sugars & salts, synthetic additives & generally eating more cleanly. You could try making your own sauces too so you control the ingredients. It can be helpful to remember the way you ate before did you no favours & lead t you choosing the surgery. Being on your current diet doesn’t mean you can’t go out or socialise with family & friends. It’s about making the best choices you can with options available. It’s not something you do every day but if once in a while you aren’t able to eat 100% of what you should is okay. I went to a Chinese restaurant with my mum & old family friends at around 4 months. I chose chicken & cashews & picked at the chicken & vegetables to my appropriate portion draining off what sauce I could. While everyone was sharing all the dishes I stuck to just mine. I took the leftovers home & we ate it the next day or two. I went to restaurants (casual & fine dining), birthday parties, reunions, general social gatherings,… all while I was losing. If I had to contribute food, I made something I could eat. For example at the reunion I made a zucchini bake. All cause you can’t eat something like Christmas cookies, doesn’t mean you can’t still make & share them with your family. You don’t have to eat them. This will be something that happens after your weight loss too when you work out how you will eat to maintain. I don’t eat cakes, biscuits, sweets, desserts yet today I made banana bread with my nieces & nephew. We had lots of fun & they all ate some & took the rest home. I didn’t care I didn’t eat any & neither did they (more for them 😁). Socialising isn’t only about eating & drinking. It’s really about spending time with people you love & care about. You don’t have to give up on your life.

I’ve been fortunate in that my family has been quietly supportive. No one really says anything & in some cases will offer alternatives. Whenever others are hosting, I don’t make a fuss about what I can or can’t eat just make the best choices I can from the options. I’ve become adept of putting a little taste of a variety of food on my plate & saying thank you but I’m fine or this is plenty for now, maybe later. I happily sit there with my half empty plate while others’ are overflowing. I do allow myself a little more flexibility at Christmas: it is only one day a year. What’s funny is that I make most of the Christmas desserts yet I very rarely eat sweets any more. This is really the only day I do & choose a little bite or two of the things I enjoy most. So many equate socialising with eating & drinking but really socialising is about being with people you love (or tolerate in regards to certain family members 😉). Instead of eating, talk with those you’re with.

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Easy? Ha! Weight loss surgery is not easy. People who say this are speaking from ignorance. The diet, the psychological work, working out a new way of eating that suits you & your needs, introducing more activity into your life, … And there is the life long work to maintain your weight loss - it’s much easier for an obese person to regain weight than it is for someone who was overweight or who lost a few pounds. Obesity is a disease for a reason & those demons that lead us down that path are still there. We just learn how to understand & manage them better & change our relationship with & dependence on food. Many of the benefits of the surgery, which kick start our weight loss, fade over time. We are able to eat more, our restriction weakens, our appetite returns. That’s when the real work begins. To me the most important benefit of the surgery was that during the time of no appetite, strong restriction, etc, I had the time to do the head work about my relationship with food, eating behaviours, & work out a new way of eating, I never worked as hard with losing weight & then maintaining my weight as I have since my surgery. It is so very much worth it though.

I had reflux before my sleeve surgery. It was mild & I managed it through dietary choices. Only needed to take esomepraole 3 or 4 times a year (usually when I had too many champagnes or G&Ts). My surgeon & I discussed my situation & he decided to proceed with the sleeve because I managed my reflux & it was mild but he would have done bypass if I wanted, After surgery I take esomeprazole everyday & I always will. My reflux manifests itself a little differently now - more burning in my throat but way less incidences of the hideous hiccups & bad taste in my mouth. I would question a surgeon who will only do a sleeve regardless of your gerd which usually means sleeve is not for you. Are there any surgeons in a neighbouring city who will take your insurance & you could meet with?

You may have reached your new set point - the weight your body is happiest at & is easiest to maintain. Unfortunately, your new set point may not be the weight you wanted to settle at. You can lose below your set point but your body will gravitate back to it. It’s why we’d struggle to lose some weight in the past but then quickly return to the weight we were - the higher weight was your set point. Remember too, muscle weighs more so if you’ve been lifting you will have more muscle & weigh more than if it was just fat. If the scale is messing with you, stay off it for a while & rely on body measurements or the fit of your clothes.

Sounds a pretty okay weight loss to me especially if you experienced a stall of 1-3 weeks. You’re averting about 3lbs a week - nothing wrong with that. There is no ‘this is how much weight you must lose by this point’ rule. We all lose at our own rate. Some faster some slower. You lose at the rate that is best for you. There are averages which can be used as a guide but never a rule. Doesn’t mean you won’t lose your weight. (Don’t be influenced by the weight loss seen on tv programs. They lose large amounts in the beginning because they started at twice your weight & have lots to lose Their rate loss slows as they progress.) Is your surgeon concerned? Is your dietician concerned about your loss so far? If they’re okay you have nothing to worry about. You’re certainly not failing. You’ve lost 19 feckin’ pounds. Celebrate every pound you lose. I didn’t have to count calories & didn’t have to track my food so never had to discuss it with my dietician. I checked out of my own interest so I I know I was low calorie eater. Around 300 calories in the first month & was barely eating 900 calories by 6 months when I reached my goal. At 17 months when my weight stabilised I was eating 1300. Now I eat about 1500+/-. I was & am healthy & my blood work was is always excellent. I never could have physically eaten more than I was at any stage. But that is my story. Yours may be different & that’s okay. I’m a little taller than you & not very active (not running miles or spending hours in the gym) I don’t need the calories a taller, more active person needs. Ensure your dietician isn’t trying to fit you into the one size fits all average calorie intake box. The average calorie intake for a woman is said to be 2000 calories - I’d be the size I was before surgery if I ate that much. To lose they say I should eat 1500 so I’d never lose weight either on those recommendations.

What a wonderful attitude & approach to all you’ve been through. I’ve had a couple of small things picked up since my surgery & weight loss ( nothing like yours - though we are fibroid twins 😉) & am grateful for the medical follow ups I’ve had, the testing I’d never had before which revealed things & even how more aware I am of my body & not just put things down to being fat & therefore unimportant & my fault. Now to kicking those last 33lbs to the kerb.

Sometimes life throws crap at us from outside events or internal issues & our good intentions & good behaviours are forgotten. Doesn’t mean they’re gone forever. Sounds like you know exactly where you’re misstepping & know what you need to be doing to get back on track. That in itself is a major win. May be start slowly & adopt one or two of those changes or new behaviours for a week or two then add another one or two. Small wins, even meeting your fluid goal, are still wins. Also have you considered speaking with a therapist? They could help you work through why things started to slide & suggest strategies to help you get back on track. We can’t always do these things alone or without more professional help. All the best.

Plans can be different but the best advice is always to follow your surgeon’s plan (& never what someone on Facebook or TikTok advises who often post just for attention & shock value). The staged return to eating solid food is there to support your healing & protect your healing tummy. Remember all those staples & sutures holding your digestive system together. (Read there can be up to 10 inches of sutures - imagine that on your arm or leg 😱.) There are also many nerves cut so you can’t really tell if you are doing damage or not. It takes about 8 weeks for your tummy to fully heal post surgery. Yes the shakes can be hideous, I made myself have one a day then drank soups - comsummes, broths, creams (thin them with additional water or milk as you need & ensure they have no solid matter). Bone broths are excellent too. Blend yoghurt with milk to make a drink or make your own protein shakes using protein powder. It’s only two weeks & you’ll get through it. Many of us actually find purée stage more challenging from a texture & flavour perspective. Protein water is an option too. Gotta work at getting at least close to your daily protein goals.

Wonder if this flare up is a result of uric acid being released into your husband’s blood stream as he loses weight as it’s stored in fat much like estrogen for us? My dad was on Allopurinol for his. Took it everyday to keep his uric acid levels low. I remember him saying it was pretty awful when he first took it - made him sick (I think from excreting the excess uric acid) then it was fine. Rarely had an attack except for the very mild out break if he over indulged in seafood & alcohol.