Arabesque

Something else to consider: the younger you are the less loose skin you’ll likely end up with. Of course there are a lot of factors that influence how much loose skin you’ll have but when you’re young you have a lot more elasticity in your skin for it to bounce back better.

Glad you’re feeling better @lrania. In my third week I was on purées. I was able to have very soft, loose scrambled eggs (made with extra milk), milky rolled oats, yoghurt & yoghurt drinks, thicker soups & mashed boiled eggs with Mayo. I puréed cooked chicken with extra gravy &/or stock. I didn’t enjoy cottage cheese or ricotta much. Puréed tinned salmon & tuna with Mayo too. I didn’t eat many things cause my taste buds were really off & things tasted terrible. In my fifth week on soft foods, I ate a lot of minced meat dishes & made slow cooked casseroles, stews & soups with a mix of meats & vegetables. Froze left overs in single servings. I remember making coq au vin for dinner with my mum & added a splash of wine as you do. Bad decision. It tasted terrible to me. My mum loved it so she got the left overs. Honestly, I wasn’t hungry nor interested in eating for months. Good luck.

It was probably at about month 2 or 3 when I did the the first purge. Like @billho I kept favourite clothes or those with special meaning. I regularly went through my wardrobe & made monthly trips to my local St Vincent’s de Paul. I gave some better things to my mum. Gave unopened tights to a friend & a new bra I had bought to another. Some shoes went to my cousins & to women who worked in our family business. Sold a few of my high end designer clothes & shoes but have a lot stored in bags. The funny thing was about 4 months before my surgery & before I was even considering having it, I did a huge Marie Kondo clean out & donated the small clothes I’d kept for years. I decided I’d never fit into them again so why keep them. Ooops. Mind you they’d be too big now but would have been handy when I was losing. Actually I need to do another purge of clothes I’ve kept. I’ve decided there’s no point in keeping them. I’ll still keep things that are a size or two larger than what I wear now & the really special pieces.

The number of calories differs person to person. I’m not very tall, have a smaller frame, am in my mid 50s, not very active & I consume about 1200 calories a day to maintain my weight where it is now. If I was a taller, younger, &/or a more active person I’d need more calories to maintain. While losing I was eating only about 300 calories to begin, slowly increasing as I progressed. I was at about 600 around month 3 or 4 & probably closer to 1000 at goal at 6 months. I had to keep increasing my intake to try to stop losing in maintenance. But this was me. What you need to lose, or maintain, may be completely different. As @catwoman7 said you could be in a stall or have reached maintenance - calorie intake matches the calories your body needs to burn to function. If it’s a stall, stick to your plan & what you’ve been doing & it will break. If you’ve reached maintenance & want to lose more you will need to increase your activity &/or decrease your caloric intake. But remember what ever you do has to be sustainable to then maintain the weight you eventually do reach. Good luck & congrats on the weight you’ve lost so far.

Congrats on having a surgery date. The conference should allow for special dietary requirements - I mean they would if you were vegetarian or vegan or have allergies, etc. Let them know you’re on a medically restricted diet of high protein, low fat, no sugar, no rice, bread, pasta. That still leaves a lot of food choices. Eggs or rolled oats at breakfast, meat & vegetables/salad or soup for lunch & dinner. I was at an event where they provided sandwiches for everyone - I just ate the fillings & left the bread. You just eat what you’re able to eat. You may find your tummy is a bit fussy at first & you or your tummy may not enjoy certain foods so take some cheese, yoghurt, protein shakes, packet soups, etc. (things you can prep in your room without cooking) to supplement the food provided at the conference. At least when you’re with your sister, you can buy the food you like & can eat - sure she wouldn’t mind you cooking for yourself some or all of the time.

Every one recovers differently. A friend was back to her predominately desk job after a week. Another friend took three weeks. I needed 4 weeks but I do tend to recover from everything more slowly. Are you able to ask for two or three weeks but extend if needed or return to work in a part time capacity to begin?

Having questions & concerns before surgery is very common. It is frustrating though when your surgeon &/or medical team don’t prepare you about what happens after or what could happen. So in answer to the things you’re second guessing: (sorry long response) Most pain post surgery is gone in 4-5 days & a lot of that is gas pain from when they inflate your abdomen to visualise the surgical field. Yes, there may be some foods you can’t tolerate especially in the first couple of months after surgery. Some occurs because your sense of taste &/or smell temporarily changes & some foods taste or smell terrible. Your tummy can also be pretty sensitive. Something you eat one day without issue can cause side effects (diarrhoea, nausea, foamier, discomfort, etc.) tomorrow. Just drop that food for a week or two then try again. Most people can eat anything but do so carefully & watch portion sizes. Honestly, I do still have issues with potatoes, pasta, bread & rice - they sit heavily in my tummy - no loss there though. Char grilled foods are too dry for me & oily fish or fatty foods also are a no go but they were before surgery - stirred up my too acid tummy. Again no loss. I used to have a large glass of wine every night sometimes followed by a scotch. When I was losing I’d have a glass about once a month but I’d nurse it for hours. Now I still only have a drink about once a month. I don’t really miss it & I don’t enjoy it as much. At a lower weight, the alcohol may hit you more quickly & you will register a higher blood alcohol content. Also addiction swapping is real. Swapping your food addiction for alcohol, or something else is something to be aware of. Gerd is a possible side effect of sleeve surgery. I had some reflux before surgery I still have it now - it manifests differently though but is easily managed with medication. Many obese people already have or develop gerd or gerd symptoms like heartburn anyway due to poor diet &/or excessive eating. My surgeon allows me to have the odd nsaid - once a month or two. Regular use of nsaids can cause inflammation of the stomach. Post surgery we gave a much smaller stomach so the damage to our tummy lining caused by the nsaids is amplified. Gallstones form as a result of high cholesterol, losing large amounts of weight, menopause or having high bilirubin levels. I had my gall removed 2 months ago. I had one stone which could have formed because of the weight loss, menopause or from my high bilirubin levels. My cholesterol was always ok. Many obese people have high cholesterol so would already have or would form gall stones at some time anyway. Many obese people already have or would develop hernias because of the weight they’re carrying putting stress in their bodies. Many have their gall removed &/or hernias repaired during their weight loss surgery. Some didn’t even realise they had the problems before all the pre surgery medical tests. The shock of the surgery & reduced diet causes your natural hair loss cycle to accelerate. (It happens after many surgeries, pregnancy, menopause, periods of excessive stress, etc.) Your natural regrowth cycle is unchanged so new hair is regrowing as you’re losing more quickly. The hair loss tends to slow to normal rates after 3 or 4 months. I cut my hair shorter so the new growth would reach full length more quickly. You can’t stop it or slow it. It will happen in its own time (those who claim supplements & treatments helped have no idea because they don’t know when their hair would have stopped shedding anyway). You wouldn’t know almost half my hair fell out now - it’s as thick & as healthy as it was before. Yes, some people do experience complications or take longer to get through the initial side effects. But all surgeries have the potential for complications. Sleeve surgery is pretty low risk in comparison. I guess, in summary most of your concerns are temporary, short term side effects or are things you may have developed anyway if you didn’t lose your weight. Is the surgery worth it? Yes! Yes! Hell yes! I didn’t have any comorbidities before surgery but they were very close by now there’s an extremely low to no chance of ever developing them. The balls of my feet used to ache & my stamina wasn’t great. Feet are pain free & stamina is improved. The oddest thing is now I sometimes have difficulty finding clothes to fit me because I’m too small. 😆 Rather have that problem then being too big to find nice clothes. Good luck whatever you chose to do.

Stalls happen. We do say the first one happens at week three but it can be before week 3 or after. They can last one to three weeks. They do pass & you don’t have to do anything different. Your body just needs a break from all the changes - your body has shut the door & said nope, no more, I’m not moving & am just staying here for a while. You’ll also likely experience a couple of stalls along the way. We all lose at our own rate. Some fast, some slow. There are many factors at influence that rate: age, gender, starting weight, genetics, weight loss history… You’ve lost 26lbs - that’s great. Stick to what your doing. You’ll reach your goal.

Try some electrolyte drinks. I found the added energy boost got me through. I had poor concentration too - my head was very doughy some days but that was complicated by my low blood pressure. Are there specific foods that make you feel unwell or is it basically everything? Your tummy can be fussy for a while & something you eat today without an issue can make you unwell the next. It will pass. Are you eating slowly? I know that can be hard at work but it is important so as not to put pressure on your tummy. You may need to eat a little more especially as a tall, very active male. Have a chat with your nutritionalist & surgeon. Periods of not losing weight, stalls, are common we say the first one happens at three weeks but it can be earlier or later & they can persist for one to three weeks.

Starting to have doubts about having surgery is not uncommon. I had mine when I was almost 54 so a bit younger than you - lol!! My weight was ok (bounced 60 - 75kg) but when I became perimenopausal I gained another 15kg - no change of diet or activity & couldn’t lose a pound of it. I didn’t have any comorbidities but they likely would have begun any day. That’s the thing about carrying excess weight, your body can manage for a while but at some point, it becomes too strenuous & too much for your body to manage. Aches, pains, increased blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, sleep apnoea, etc. will develop. Some things can be reversed by losing weight but some things will linger or have damaged/weakened organs & you still will have to monitor them. Yes, some people develop gerd after sleeve surgery but a lot of obese people develop it too because of overeating & poor food choices. Same with gall stones. Gall stones can form as a result of high cholesterol, menopause, high bilirubin levels & after losing a lot of weight. Even if your cholesterol is ok now who knows what it will be like in the future. Being obese, or riding the weight loss & gain roller coaster, you’ll likely develop gall stones & need to have your gall bladder removed. So these things could happen even without having the surgery. You said you’ve lost weight in the past. We’ve all lost weight in the past but we’ve also gained it back & more. What makes the surgery successful is doing the head work & making permanent changes to what, why, how & when we eat. We never did that in the past. We changed our diet to lose weight but then went back to eating as we did to gain the weight in the first place. Just some things for you to consider. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

Many plans don’t include vegetables until soft foods & only a little fruit to begin after that. Smoothies would be allowed in purées because that’s what they are really: sloppy purées On liquids think really watery. The smoothie would have been too thick & yes the sugar in the fruit would have made you sick. The staged return to eating is to protect your tummy while it’s healing - remember all those stitches & staples inside you that are holding your tummy together. It’s a big learning curve but if you go back to sticking closely to the allowed foods on your plan you’ll be fine. I ate a lot of soup in the liquid stage but I diluted all of them & even strained them after puréeing hem to ensure nothing lumpy or fibrous was missed & so they were really thin. I even diluted my shakes - doubled the required water. All the fluids count to your fluid goals for the day so an added win. Congrats on your surgery.

I don’t have a family to cook for but my same friend said it was a pain to cook two meals each night which was why she tried to cook meals she could eat part of. When she was at the soft food stage she would make things like spaghetti bolognese. Ate the bolognese meat sauce alone herself but served the rest with pasta to her family. Froze extra serves of the meat sauce for herself for other meals so on nights she couldn’t eat what she cooked for the children, she’d just reheat a frozen meal. Easy.

It does seem odd that protein shakes aren’t in your liquid stage diet because protein is important to aid your healing & you need to be consuming some nutrients for your body to function effectively but all plans have differences. You will be getting some protein from the broths & soups. My surgeon was ok with me not meeting my protein goal to begin as long as I was working towards the 60g each day. Water can feel hard & heavy to drink. I was a big water drinker before surgery but after it was a struggle. I was allowed green or herbal teas (always drank green tea so this was great for me). I also found warm drinks more soothing than cool or cold. I used to add double the water to my shake to thin it to make it easier to swallow, dilute the unpleasant taste & so I was drinking something besides water. (I’d warm the chocolate one (squint & imagine hard & you can almost convince yourself it’s hot chocolate 😁) . Remember, all your soups, tea, etc. count towards your daily fluid goal.

For some, the head hunger post surgery is the worst. It’s not real hunger it just seems that way. I think it’s because the surgery is stressful & stirs up a lot of emotions (degrees of fear, anxiety, etc.) and if you used food to temporarily soothe or mask your emotions in the past, your head will drive you more to want to eat to provide comfort now. The staged return to eating solid food is to support & protect your tummy while it is healing. You have a lot of stitches &/or staples holding your tummy together at the moment. If you had a large wound with lots of stitches on your arm you wouldn’t be lifting things or doing things & risk stressing or damaging the wound. Same with your tummy. Add extra salt to your soup/broth or try sugar free jello & popsicles to satisfy the desire for salt &/or sweet if you find managing the cravings difficult. Managing head hunger is the real challenge after surgery & is why many seek the support & guidance of a therapist. Good luck.

I had sleeve surgery too but I have experienced two instances of dumping. The first was at about 18 months post surgery & the second about a month later. Weren’t very severe & didn’t last a long time but temperature, clamminess, diarrhoea, … Strange thing was it occurred after eating a sugar free protein bar the same one I’d been eating for months before & can still eat now without a problem. Have no idea was really caused the dumping though. I’ve had that sudden vomit or gagging/chocking thing with lots of saliva. My restriction (that’s the pressure/tightness & discomfort) usually kicks in early & then about an hour later blah! My team said it was because what I ate was too dry & I wasn’t hydrated enough. It’s happened after I ate char grilled meat & vegetables & plain chicken breast without a sauce so it made sense. Which doesn’t explain why you experienced it after a popsicle. But you’re early out & your tummy is still probably pretty fussy & temperamental. (I described mine as a tantrum throwing 2 year old.) Things you can eat successfully one day you can’t the next. Give your tummy a break from that food for a week or so & then try again.

Were you prescribed an esomeprazole? Because we eat such small portions, acid can build in our tummy & cause those spasm or cutting type pains which we often think are hunger. In Australia you can buy 10mg tablets over the counter but need a script for 20 or 40mg. (I’m prescribed 20mg Nexium.) Probably the same in the UK. Some people take one every day for the first month or two. Others like me take them every day & always will (I’ve always over produced acid & had taken Nexium occasionally for years before surgery). As time progresses you’ll discover that real hunger feels different to head hunger & to stomach acid hunger. Congrats on your surgery.

Soups are great & freeze well. I ate (drank) soup every day plus a shake. I made pumpkin soup on bone broth (I didn’t enjoy the bone broth alone) & puréed & strained it very well. A friend made a big pot of chicken soup from scratch using a broken down chicken (you can use Maryland prices too). Threw in lots of vegetables. Let it simmer for ages. Stained serves for herself but served the rest of the soup with the meat & vegetables for her family. Wonton & ramen soups are good too & can feed both you (strained) & your children.

Found this: How much saturated fat and cholesterol you get in different 100g pieces compared on a rotisserie chicken: Share on Pinterest If you bread & deep fry your chicken wings, the amount of cholesterol will increase even more. If you really want to have chicken wings, remove the skin, add herbs & spices & bake in the oven. But definitely speak with your nutritionalist or doctor for advice. They should also be able to provide you with a list of low cholesterol foods & example recipes.

I had them for the first 24 hours post surgery & that’s all. They were soothing but also restrictive - I hate sleeping on my back - frustrating when I wanted to go to the bathroom - had to call the nurse to get me out if them. After that I was expected to walk & sit out of bed a couple of times each day so had no need for it. I’m also a bit of a wriggler so move my legs, feet & ankles regularly. I had to wear the compression tube things for a full week after surgery. If you suffer from a lot of leg swelling it may be beneficial once you get home from hospital until you’re more active than just able to go for short walks every day. You had a chair that was almost comfortable @The Greater Fool? Who did you pay or sleep with to get that? I’ve spent a lot of time in hospitals with my parents over the years (weeks at a time) & I’ve yet to find a chair that was comfortable for more than 3 minutes. Some were so huge, my feet couldn’t reach the floor - stuck out in front of me - so I had to sit sideways legs over the arms or put my feet up on the bed frame.

The staged return to eating solid foods is to allow your tummy time to heal. Remember you’ve had a huge piece of your tummy removed &/or had your upper intestines redirected & have lots of stitches & staples inside. Imagine if you had a big chunk taken out of your arm or leg & had lots of external stitches - you wouldn’t be out there running about, lifting things & general putting strain & stress in the wound. Same with the internal wound in your digestive system. We all take different amounts of time to heal too which is why some people progress through the stages more slowly.

I started my vitamins straight away too & they were capsules (painful to swallow the first few days but then fine) but yes, surgeons have different plans & requirements. I’d reduce your shakes, or try a different brand, & try adding soups & bone broths to your diet. The gas could be residual from your surgery but it could also be a reaction to lactose or the artificial sweeteners in the shake. Our tummy is pretty sensitive after surgery & you can develop intolerance to certain things like lactose. A lack of energy is pretty common - you’re not consuming much & had pretty major surgery. Give yourself time to heal. Don’t know about the bone pain. You haven’t picked up a flu virus? Give your medical team a call to be sure.

Everyone loses at their own rate. Lots of factors besides just your starting weight will affect the rate at which you lose: age, gender, activity level, metabolic rate, etc. so comparisons with others isn’t the best way to judge or predict your rate of loss. You may lose faster than one person & way slower than someone else but you’re all being successful. If you think you’re not doing as well as someone else, you could derail your progress because you’ll think you’re failing. If I compared myself to say Edward12 (congrats on your weight loss so far), I’d think I was failing - I only lost about half that amount in my first month even if I included my 2 & a half week pre op diet loss but my surgeon was very happy with me. I still reached my goal weight in 6 months & then exceeded it. Unless, you’re losing little or nothing each week (ignore stalling of course) & you’re sticking to your plan you’re doing fine.

What an ass you’re surgeon is! They’re being incredibly unsupportive. How much weight was your surgeon expecting you to lose? 21lbs in 4 weeks is a great loss. Everyone loses at their own rate. Your gender, age, staring weight, activity level, metabolic rate, etc. all impact the rate at which you lose. That’s why comparisons with others are not the best way to judge your progress. Have you ever lost that much weight in a month before? I bet you haven’t - I certainly had never lost at my rate ever before. Celebrate every pound you lose.

You said it yourself: always fill up before my stomach or really my brain has been satisfied. If your brain is wanting more that’s head hunger. If your tummy is full you’ve had enough. There’s a big difference between needing to eat & wanting to eat and also between eating enough & eating until you are full. After my surgery, I started asking myself if I needed that next bite or did I just want it. If I wanted it I put the cutlery down.I still do this. Therapy should help you recognise your cravings & desire to eat (habit, emotions, etc.) & then develop strategies to manage that desire & reduce some of their power. I hope you can find a therapist who is supportive & you feel comfortable with. Good luck.

I did it alone & was fine. A friend dropped me off & picked me up. So you shouldn’t have any issue. I was in hospital for three nights & honestly, I spent a lot of time sleeping that first 24/48 hours. Got up to do my block around the ward then back to bed. Tried to read & watch Netflix but couldn’t concentrate & gave up after a few minutes. Had a couple of phone & txt conversations with friends & family, My whole process was very quick. From GP appointment to surgeon appointment & surgery was 6 weeks. I was pretty comfortable about my decision but I’m someone who once they make up their mind that’s it. I did a lot of reading plus I had a friend who’d had the surgery & I picked her brain a bit before hand. My doctor was supportive. I liked my surgeon & he was confident which helped reaffirm my decision.