K@t

Dear K@t, A year ago I met this wonderful man on eharmony.com and we began to date. After about six months I started to wonder about our future and asked him how he feels. To my surprise he said he thinks we are too different and have different goals. He is fairly wealthy and could easily afford to have a family, while I'm a single mom and make very little money. He says he wants to have a wife to work and make good money so he isn't on his own in supporting a family. He also said he doesn't want to sacrifice the financial comfort he has so far. After hearing all of this I told him that I can't magically change for him and I couldn't make the changes without commitment. The problem is, he wants me to make big changes like taking out student loans to go back to school full time before he can commit to this relationship. I don't want to change my life around for him if he isn't committed. We have been dating on and off for the past six months and we are very good to each other, this is the only real problem in this relationship. Am I silly to be with a man who wont accept me for what I really am? A low income single mom that really loves him. Sincerely, Anonymous -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Anonymous, There are many warning signs here. The fact that he doesn't accept you as you are, is the biggest. Don't let him lure you into taking out loans and into changing your entire life with little or no commitment offered. Love is about sacrifice, if he isn't willing to sacrifice his level of financial comfort for you, why would he ask you to sacrifice your already delicate financial situation by taking out loans? It sounds to me that he is looking for an "out" of the relationship by coming up with impossible hurdles for you to jump and by making comments such as you are too "different". It doesn't sound like he is committed to the relationship and you deserve better! Cut your losses and run, there is some one out there for you who likes you for you and not for what you can give him. You and your children deserve better.

There are 2 things I can say about this from my experience. I see Donna's point about CPS being so disorganized. When I was about 7 I fell off a trampoline at a friends house and gouged my arm and got a few bruises. My teacher called CPS with out even talking to me or my mother to find out how it happened, and they came to the school took me to the office, had me remove my clothes and photographed me. All with out calling my mother. When my mother picked me up from school I was crying and told her what happened. She marched right up to the school and let the principal have it. Now what was CPS doing taking photos of a minor with out even contacting any one responsible for me?? The 2nd thing is that Diane mentioned that the father was some times verbally abusive. This is abuse too and can be just as damaging or worse then physical abuse. My father use to call me fatty when I was about 6. I never forgot it and to this day it still pains me inside. What the father is doing is escalating in his abuse first it was verbal and now its gone to physical. I agree with Mommy that your friend is probably telling you a rose colored version of the story. If I was in your shoes I would call CPS. You never know, your friend might be next. If he will do it to innocent children I imagine his wife isn't immune either.

I think I'm actually a bit distrubed by that photo......:pirate :cool:

To be honest I don't think I care what the rest of society thinks. The only opinions that matter to me are my own and my family/close friends. And even then my opinion rules over all of theirs. I try to look and feel good about myself in my own way. I don't worry about what others think. There has always been and probably always will be impossible standards of beauty, and there will be those girls who decide that its worth the effort and those who decide to use their time for something more productive. It's just how society is. And beyond that we as humans have sooooooooo many different definitions of what's beautiful. As the old saying goes Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And it really is.

Hey guys, thanks for the support. P'nut - Those healthy kat meals never got made because I don't even have time to cook right now. I haven't done dishes in a week! This month is just all messed up with work right now. Good news is though I found a little place near the school that has a salad buffet and u can take a plate to go. Thats going to be my lunch from now on. And I found some awesome chocolate yougerts from Nestle with 77 calories per cup. (sugar free of course) That was breakfast. now...about dinner....I have these soup packs that Alison sent me and I have been eating those. 100cal soup packs. Now if I can just stick to this i ought to lose something!! Kathy, your right, at least I didn't gain!

C 236lb (-17lb total, 0 this week) I suck, I gotta get a grip on my eatting. Exercise and water are doing great!

I know how ya feel leener, I'm having more or less the same problem. Some days are better and some are worse. I'll probably be getting a fill at the end of the month. And even then I know the fill isn't going to solve all my problems. It's just a work in progress to make healthier choices and to get into better habits. It won't happen over night so we can't beat ourselves up over doing something that has come so easily to us for so long. So I just try to say, I'll do better when I'm not doing so good, and try harder...

hehe that thought had never even crossed my mind!

tina, you can still participate, I have sent you a pm you need to respond as soon as possible please, because I don't have your new address. I never received a confirmation pm, nor the pm you said you send on may 10th. There must have been a problem with the PM's. On another note. Some people were asking if they should include their name in their gift. I'm leaving it up to you. On July 4th I will post the list of who bought for who. You can wait until then to reveal who you are, or you can put your name on your gift that you send. It's totally up to you!

Food: 1 southbeach breakfast bar 1 peach ice tea Exercise:

I'm just checking in here. I'm doing pretty good on the water and exercise front, but the food front is just kickin my arse! There is an icecream shop just downstairs from the school and its soooooo hot these days...excuses I know....I'm trying harder...starting...NOW!

good to hear your doing so well...don't wear yourself out at the mall! Heather

ahaha those are funny! 3loves...thanks for the compliment. I do love to smile :biggrin1:

I have the same problem as you and I stuck around the same weight as you. At night I feel I can eat normal again but in the morning food is impossible.... I'm not sure if i need a fill either, but I would like to know how to stop feeling so hungry in the evening!

Here is another from when I was in High School....can ya guess which state I lived in???

sticky is good.....(honey, candy.....ummmmmm)

I'm MUCH happier weighing myself once a week (after surgery i was doing it daily) but I think I would go nuts if I couldnt do it at least once a week, I don't think I could throw my scale out.

I would be interested to know the results of this poll as well. My doctor said it doesn't matter how young you are or how many massages/lotions/foods/whatever you do to make your skin go back, once its stretched, its stretched. He said if you have been MO for more then 5 years, the chances of you needs PS to get rid of extra skin are pretty good.

Food: 1 southbeach breakfast bar 1 peach ice tea Exercise:

OK guys, today is Sunday, and even though I'd like to just go home from work this morning and do nothing, I'm going to cook cook cook! And get some healthy stuff prepared for me so I can stop using last min. stuff as an excuse to eat wrong. Then I'm going to hop on the treadmill. I'm downloading a book from audible.com and I'm going to listen to the book while I walk. I'll hopefully have my points in all 3 categories today.

I haven't had an experience like this yet, but who knows! The swim suit is cute and I'm sure the scars aren't so noticable that you cant wear it! you can always do what kabeerah suggested. Loads of people use temp tats in the summer, it would look cute :girl_hug:

ahaha penis tree!!! There was once a lemon that grew on our lemon tree that had 2 off shooted balls, so it looked like a penis with 2 balls. My father in law put it in the store window with a sign that said...look what nature can do! hehe

wow thats cool.....way to go! :biggrin1:

Food: 2 Kelloggs breakfast bars 1 ham and cheese sandwich (sandes) 50ml peach yougert McDonalds McChicken sandwich (ducks from the flying shoes) Cuppa Soup (100kcal) 2 liter water Exercise: Daily routine 30min stairs

Food: 2 Kelloggs breakfast bars 1 ham and cheese sandwich (sandes) 50ml peach yougert McDonalds McChicken sandwich (ducks from the flying shoes) Cuppa Soup (100kcal) 2 liter water Exercise: Daily routine 30min stairs