xandriuh

Hello, So I was at the hospital getting my IV and injections for surgery that was 30 minutes away. The nurses were having issues with my IV and they ended up trying 3 different times. As she was telling me how much the Heparin injection was going to hurt I started crying uncontrollably, shaking, turned ghost white and was having a major panic attack. I ended up telling them that I couldn't do any of it and I just wanted to go home because I was so overcome with emotions and felt like I was going to die at that moment. Before they gave me an IV I explained to them that I have really bad anxiety and they did not give me anything nor even offer it until I couldn't control myself and wanted to not be touched. I ended up going home because no one could reason with me in that state and I really regret it because it would have been over and done with but there was no logical thinking in that moment. I spoke to my bariatric program coordinator and she told me I have 6 months to make a decision and get anxiety treatment. I made an appointment with a psych to both talk and seek medication as well. My panic attacks are so random I never know what is going to trigger it and it has been a long time since I have been in a situation that caused it. I want surgery because I have unexplained infertility and have a bmi of over 45. I am 27 as well. Has anyone with anxiety issues chickened out and ended up getting it done eventually.

Not with the insurance I have, there is no copay and no cost to me. I want to tread lightly because, by all means, I do not wish to cost anyone anything or have anyone front the cost for me. I certainly do not take for granted the coverage I have. I am a college student who takes a double full-time course load and I do not work at the time. Due to this, I have what is considered Medicare coverage. I certainly wanted to get it done during this time because of the coverage and so I will be able to work once I graduate.

I do hope that I have only set myself back by a few weeks. I am waiting for my psych appointments to make a decision and officially ask for my new surgery date. According to the program coordinator, it may take a little convincing to my surgeon that I will not back out again. She only saw me after I had calmed down enough to act normal (I still wasn't thinking logically, I was only acting normal because they had agreed to unhook me and I was no longer going to be in the situation causing the panic attack) so she thought that I was of sound mind when making the decision. I hope at the very least (if needed) I can meet with her and talk to her about the anxiety I was experiencing. The nurses saw me and the male nurse kept telling me I needed to work on my breathing (telling someone who is having a panic attack to calm down, news flash, doesn't work. For me it makes it worse.) While the program coordinator has assured me that I haven't missed my chance, I cannot help but think that I have. I just have to keep a positive outlook and get this done!

I am going to the doctor and psych this week, I am hoping to reschedule and make it to the losers bench in not too long. I have decided to not let it hold me back and am working on losing weight in the meantime. The lower my weight the lower the risk so hopefully it will let me ease my anxiety just a little bit more.

I really hope that I do. Maybe I needed the chance to work on myself and get me to the point where I am ready. I feel regret for not getting it done and when I was freaking out I didn't think of that. I couldn't think straight at all. I really do hope that I can work on me in the meantime and get this done!

I asked them and they said that they "think they can" but they won't guarantee it. I am talking to a doctor this week I have a few appointments set so I can both have talking therapy as well as looking into medication. I think the surgeon wants to be assured that I am getting treatment and will not back out again before they agree on anything. I can understand if they feel that way. I am just starting to realize that anxiety never goes away, It had been a long time since I have had an anxiety attack and you forget how it feels.