hairband

i am new the forum but have been watching the before and after pics for a long time as a source of inspiration quietly. i was banded last year and have lost a total of 151 lbs alone basicly....i walk 3 miles everyday now and stay on my plan for the most part and sometimes it is so very hard to do that but i do it alone basicly. also, 2 years ago i stopped smoking. i dont recognize myself in the mirror anymore and lately i have felt very lonely....like i have lost myself. like all of my accomplishments dont mean that much. these things ive done were not as important as i had once thought them to be. they havent solved any great mystery at all and no happy new secret has been revealed to me that everyone else seems to share....i am here to talk about this topic and meet people and maybe make a friend with similar issues and maybe get new perspectives on what 'being thin' and 'happiness' and 'joy' really are about. the people i know in real life just dont understand the psychological effects of being in such a new world (i have been severely obese my whole life) and i am used to being ignored and overlooked and treated very poorly and now i feel that everyone who is nice to me is a liar and if i were obese they wouldnt give me the time of day. this might be too heavy of a topic here, i dont know but i am throwing it out there....and maybe someone would know someone who typed something that sounded like this and direct me to the right place (if you dont mind that would be fabulous). i will check back in the private message section and in this thread (if i can find it again..lol) and see if anyone has heard me. i am open and honest and extremely interested in truth and choice and commited to doing well because i dont want to give up on where those things take you. and i dont want to sound depressing or angry...this just is what it is and it is truth. i am a very motivated and kind person....i just need help learning to accept these changes in a healthy way and what other people who have felt like me have done or thought to make this transition less lonely, because i do feel more alone than when i was superobese.. and physically, i feel absolutely wonderful. but mentally, i am suffering. i tried new clothes and i hate them and feel like i am trying to sell myself off as some newly packaged meat. i know i cant be alone in this feeling........i hope someone hears me. thanks.

i attend oa meetings and find them very helpful.....you will see over time that you can cheat the band really easily and self sabotage sometimes happens when you hit low points....having an arsenal of solutions are keys to your remaining successful long term. you dont have to tell your oa group that you were banded......but you can openly discuss your problems and have people with similar problems listen and give you support.......being severly obese for me is mostly a mental issue...and i am still struggling with that....i think every single oa group is different and i happened to get lucky and found a small group of very nice people that i trusted to tell i was banded and no one judged me. i hope this helps.

hi! what helps too is sitting very quietly and asking yourself "what is wrong" and having a notebook and pen..........just quietly waiting for yourself to start writing why you feel anxious and so incredibly ravenous for no good reason. write the answers your gut tell you out onto the paper and then release the feelings. in the beginning i remember writing that at night was MY time...and i would reward my quiet time at night with food.....being able to enjoy MY time always consisted of adding high calorie food as an extra bonus..... now i light scented candles and collect different oils and burn them and breathe them in and read good books or watch movies. if i ask myself what is wrong (i call it a gut check) and truly i end up being hungry, i have low calorie snacks that i must really chew and chew (like baby carrots) and after one or two, i am full and all is well for another day.

i know this sounds crazy, but over time you get a whole new outlook on foods and what used to be your favorites arent that big of deal anymore....replace your bad habits and obsessing over favorite foods with cleaning a junk drawer or a closet out or taking a walk or writing someone you havent talked to in a long time and just follow the rules and in time it just all seems to make sense. you just kind of let go of food over time....(if you are properly filled) ...i hope this helps.

thank you so much everyone for your words of encouragement..it made me cry...and for the post that said that your friend made it through everything.....that took a huge weight off of me....more than you will know...thank you for that........

i just want to say thank you for all of the replies to this very personal situation. you are all so very kind and i wish the very best in your journeys.