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Ever since my last psych eval, which was only yesterday, I've been thinking about a lot of things. I've been having a lot of doubts about what I'm doing. I still believe that having this surgery will help me lose weight and I have to make major changes to accomplish this goal but I still can't help but doubt my ability to do so. I keep thinking about all the things I have started and never finished. If I can't even finish a diet that lasts 6 weeks how am I going to do one that requires a lifetime commitment. I love food. I love to eat. I love candy, chocolate, chips, cookies (notice a pattern here). Then I think about all the things that could happen if I am not committed to making myself a more healthier person. I won't be a good role model for my children. Leaving my hubby, my kids, my family before my time should be up. Having to exist in the shadows because I let myself go completely. These things go back and forth in my head. I'm just scared of what's to come because for right now the ball is not in my court so I can't dictate how things will go until after I have surgery. I know I can do it but my mind is having conflicting issues. The main thing that keeps coming up to drive them away is how I felt when I made my decision to go forth and have the surgery. I was happy and excited. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It was as if I knew in my heart I should do this and it was finally catching up to my brain. I know it's normal to have these doubts. I know others on the boards have them too. I'm so glad that I have the boards to turn to because now I know I am not alone in how I feel. So as I finish this post I finally have gotten these doubts out of my head and can move forward in preparing for the days to come. I am a strong person. I'm probably stronger then I give myself credit. I can't wait until I can look in the mirror and finally see the person I imagine myself to be.

You always read about how other people in your life sabotage your weight loss efforts but what about yourself? My husband just recently brought to my attention how I've slowed down my workout regime. Ever since I started my journey to have the Lap-Band surgery I've been trying to be more aware of how I am eating and stepping up my workouts. I was doing good until I went into the surgeon's office and found out that I met his requirements for surgery and got my date. Since then I really haven't worked out and when I do I just go at a turtle's pace. This isn't like me. I used to be drenched in sweat when I came from working out now I barely break one. Today I stepped up my workout and thought my legs were going to fall off. This didn't happen a week ago. I'm seriously thinking that maybe since I met my surgeon's goal for my surgery I just thought I didn't have to do anything else. I want to lose as much weight as I can Pre-banded that way I'll already be in losing mode by the time I get banded. I know I can do it I just need to focus on the ultimate goal and that is to get down to a healthier weight and feel sexy again. My confidence is shot even though I do try to bring it back up but it's hard. Oh man it's hard. He's tired of seeing me wallow in self pity and frankly I am too. I need to keep a positive attitude for the future and not look to him or anyone else to motivate me. I and me alone can only do what is necessary to ensure that I am successful with the band. Today is a new day and I know I can do it. I've just got to keep my eye on the prize and motivate myself everyday to work towards that prize. So far I've lost 20 lbs since starting in May. I know I can lose more. Matter of fact I'm going to jump on the elliptical after work. I just put some new movies/TV shows on my ipod so it's time to catch up on The Boondocks!

I can't tell you what everyone feels but I can tell you how I felt. The first day of surgery I didn't feel hungry at all. I wanted some Water. That was the first thing I wanted. Since my doc wants me to be on full liquids for 2 weeks I would love to jazz up my meals. Even though I can only have liquids you may find yourself trying to find something to break up the monotony. I'm actually in the middle of switching jobs so I have 2 weeks off (1 week for recovery). My job is also a sit down job. If I wasn't switching jobs I would only have taken 5 days off (surgery on wed. back to work by monday) You will be able to do it. You are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit. You were strong enough to decide to have WLS and you'll be strong enough to handle anything else life has to throw at you. I haven't vomited yet. At the hospital they gave me stuff in my iv to help with nausea but if you think you are still feeling that way I'm sure your doc and prescribe something. I haven't had a problem with it.

My psych doc didn't have me do any written tests or any kind of tests. He just talked to me during the first appointment. At the second appointment he spoke with my husband and then with me. It was actually one of the less stressfull appointments I've had pre-op.

I'm not sure why you couldn't but I know that my doc doesn't want me to have a lot of caffine in one day. I only have a cup in the morning so by his standards I'm ok.

`99 - `01: Hawaii `01 - `04: Virginia `04 - `07: Okinawa `07 - now: South Carolina

Before surgery: Elliptical 3-4x a week After surgery: Currently walking 2x a day around the neighborhood. After the all clear from my surgeon then I'm back on the elliptical and starting a weight training regime. My hubby gets our Protein Shakes from GNC or Bodybuilding.com. I currently drink whey Protein (Chocolate), Muscle Milk (Cookies N Cream), and Lean Dessert (Cinnamon Roll) I brought the following: Slippers Book Ipod w/ earphones Cell phone w/ bluetooth (don't forget chargers) Comfortable clothes for the hospital and going home sports bra warm socks toothbrush and paste I haven't asked my doc about this one. Right now my hubby is around so I don't really have to do any heavy lifting. As for laundry my daughter can help with that but as long as I don't let it pile up I don't think I'll need her help.

I had the following things in my home: chicken, beef, and veggie broth Protein drinks (whey is best) Bottled Water SF Jello SF popsicles/fudgsicles Crystal Light (various flavors) Gas-X (chewable) liquid Tylenol

I find that if I drink too fast, doesn't matter if I take a sip or a gulp, I burp. I just need to remember to take it slow and I'm fine.

I'm in Day 4 and I'm feeling great. I'm not going to be on my regular pain meds anymore. I probably could have stopped a couple days ago but I just thought since I have them I'll take them as needed. I only really feel discomfort when I wake up from sleeping because I roll around the bed. Right now I'm mostly itchy and that's because my incisions are healing. MAN I WANNA SCRATCH SO BADLY!

I was banded on Wednesday (8/6) and I have not thrown up once. I did feel slightly nauseated when I woke up in recovery but that was the only time I felt that way. After that I was just sore around my incisions and now it's just gas pain and soreness around my port area. Please note that this is just my recovery symptoms. Everybody is different. You may have it much more easier or worse than me but don't let that scare you. Think of it more as an adventure. Even if you get naseated they will give you meds to help you with that. If they don't ask for them!

I arrived at the hospital at 0700. I was the first Lapband of the day and that my doc ever banded. He even had the man who brought the procedure over from Europe as his proctor. I went in the prep room about 45 minutes after arriving. The ladies there at the hospital were so nice. I've never been to a hospital where the nurses were so friendly and put you at ease. I remember when they gave me some meds to relax I was looking at the ceiling lights and said the covering of one looked like a kolidescope. I remember going into the OR and next thing I know someone was telling me to take a deep breath and then I was in recovery. I didn't learn until after I saw my husband that my surgery only took an hour. The ladies in the recovery area were really friendly also. They made sure I was comfortable and got me meds and warm blankets quickly. I was freezing! As far as pain goes, I wasn't in so much pain that I couldn't function. It was more of a achy, very uncomfortable feeling. I probably could have had some tylenol and been fine but I figured I might as well get the good stuff because I don't know what my pain will be like once the OR meds wear off. I get into my room and my hubby was there. About 20 minutes after arriving I wanted to try walking. I sat up and things were good. I was moving slowly because I didn't want to get dizzy. I did feel a little dizzy but once I got my bearings I was fine. The only thing that happened was that I got the hiccups. I had to sit down and wait it out. They lasted for about 20 minutes. Once it was over I was able to walk up the hallway and back to my room. After that I wanted some more pain meds and go to sleep. Once I took that first nap I was able to walk some more. I was able to walk about 4 times around the floor before settling in for the night. During this whole time I only needed pain meds after I went for a walk since I was using the muscles around that area. I got into a rhythm of nap, walk, pain meds. Today I went to the X-ray room to swallow some of the nastiest stuff so they could make sure that things could pass through my new stoma. Once that came back ok then I was able to have some liquids. Since I hadn't had anything to drink since Tuesday I was more than excited. Before I left the hospital I had lunch. Right now I'm sitting in my recliner and feeling great. Well I'm tired but I'm feeling good.

I'm going in today (Aug 6th) at 7 am (surgery at 0830). Right now it's 2413. I'm tired but I can't sleep. I think I'm not going to get any rest tonight but it doesn't matter since they are going to be putting me under anyway.

Well here it is midnight and I can't sleep. I was hoping to get a little bit of rest before having to get started for the morning but I'm wide awake. Looks like I'm watching TV until I fall asleep or my alarm goes off.

I just wanted to say I'm soon to be on the losers bench. I've survived my day of only liquids with no mess ups. Tomorrow at 7 am I am to check in at the hospital and my surgery will be at 0830. Right now I'm trying to concentrate on getting some sleep. When I am able to I'll post my experience. Till Thursday! Adamma

OMG me and you have the same cycle. I started today.

Last night I couldn't sleep. All I was dreaming about is all the things that could go wrong... Going into surgery and not getting banded. Not leaving for the hospital on time. Forgetting that I'm not supposed to eat anything the day of surgery and having some toast and coffee. I'm trying so hard to stay calm. My hubby thought my surgery was on Thursday. I was freaking out all day yesterday because I was hungry all day! I just couldn't seem to get enough foods. I was trying my best to stick to good stuff. Today I have to have NOTHING BUT liquids. Will I survive? Well that's not an option because if I want surgery tomorrow I have to. This day is going to go long. Ok so to wrap up my whine/rant I just want to say that I'M FREAKING OUT HERE! Any advice you can give me to help me through the day is greatly appreciated.