Lochnessamber

Hi, I'm the Loch Ness Amber, and I have trouble perceiving my body as it is. (I have NOT been diagnosed with body dysmorphia.) Pre-op, at my largest, I felt smaller than I really was. The concept of how big I truly was didnt seem right and needed to be proved with photos I didnt take myself. Post-op, I now feel larger than I really am, and it's what i see in the mirror. I believe my perception of myself beforehand was contributing to my gain. My perception afterward doesnt seem to affect me other than a vague frustration. I'm wondering how common this is, and if anyone knows why this cognitive dissonance with our bodies even exists. I'd also like to know if it resolves in time, or if I will forever perceive myself as "3-4x" whenever asked my clothing size.

It really is. Perhaps it's the increased awareness of what we out into our bodies (whether that be food or work). Going through the motions of daily living it was easy to justify my weight and eating as normal and pay no mind to it. Now it's under a fine toothed comb. I dont know enough. Maybe I should look for scholarly articles about this. My interest is piqued! So many of us have similar experiences even in a small sample, it probably has been studied somewhere.

That is so touching! I'm glad you have such wonderful support.

Previously I swore by milk/unsweetened dairy, but I dont tolerate it post op now. Cherry juice helped as a preventive for me but allopurinol was the big gun. Post op, I've been managing it through diet alone but that isnt for everyone. I'd bring it up to the doctor.

Dude, this one popular plus size model I really loved to bag on. I had so much junk to talk about her size and how delusional she was she could be healthy like that. I did the same thing comparing myself to people on the street! Now its embarrassing. I can totally see that I was about the same size, just a bit bigger, and I wonder where all my compassion went. On the flip side, I went out to a dinner party and gave myself waaaaay more room than I needed in the booth out of habit/perception. I eventually was like, oh, I'm sorry guys, I can actually scoot over more.

My first stall was about 3-4 weeks. I knew I was getting enough water, exercise, and sticking to the food plan. It was a true stall and I hated it. Second stall was almost 2 weeks. I know I'll have more, but I also know I won't be "maintaining" my weight at my height on just 700 calories a day. Be sure you keep that in mind! Example: I am a 5' 7" 29 yr old woman and am currently 254 lbs. It would take 2,300 calories daily on my laziest days to maintain that. My worst day so far has been under 900 calories on my birthday, otherwise, I'm typically currently at a deficit on track to lose 2+ pounds weekly. Embrace the stall completely. Meld it into your being and go forth to first choose lean proteins and water.

I didnt even think to bring it up with my therapist, who specializes in trauma and building ADHD skills. I wonder how a specialist would handle it. If it's not any trouble, I'd appreciate knowing how that turns out. I'm happy for you, btw.

Everyone here has really added to this discussion! I'm happy to read everyone's stories. It shows we're not alone in this, not by far. I have kept my largest clothes and decided to wear them all weekend. It's been very helpful for my self perception currently. I was able to look in the mirror earlier this afternoon and visually see the change in myself even when I was naked. It's awesome, but it was so weird because to my mind it looks like I dropped the weight overnight. I'm sure it's a struggle that will ebb and flow over time. I'll probably need to repeat exercises like this every once in a while to refresh my perception. Does anyone else do things like this?

Thanks for the tip. My gym has a pool, I'm positive they have classes.

Its definitely rough. I'm not sure if I'll ever see myself at a lower weight as I lose it, but I'm sure I'll never regret it and that keeps me going

Good! Even if it is a placebo, its working, and that's what matters. I'm happy you're getting some relief.

Exactly. A few years ago there was a plus sized model that was pretty much everywhere. I said oh thank god at least I'm not as big as she is. My s/o humbled me lol Now I'm like yup I am definitely that big... and I'm not now

Thank you for such a well constructed and honest answer. I deeply appreciate it.

Good!! I'm happy for you and the attitude you have!

I know I'm late to the convo but how would I do cardio as swimming? I just cant get my heart rate up in the water. Also hi, I too hate cardio.

I myself have adhd and take a stimulant. This did not bar me from clearance and I only skipped 2 days of meds. A woman with bipolar disorder was in my pre and post op nutrition classes, so she was cleared as well. I didnt ask her any prying questions so I cant tell you her experience between those 2 months, but I can tell you mine. My body changed, more than I thought it would. Adhd meds are not weight-based, but for some reason, i NEEDED to have my meds adjusted after the surgery. They just didnt work. I felt more down, because I tend to fall into "situational depression" (as opposed to major depression or clinical depression) and got very down on myself for being unable to complete certain tasks. What helped me get through is knowing it was temporary and that I would find the right balance and come back stronger. Again, i know my reply isnt the most mirrored to yours, but i hope it helps, even if only a little.

Oh I know the feeling; next week is nurse's week and they like to give us hamburgers, hot dogs, and ice cream. What I've found that helps is bringing my own take on the dish. This was a creative process during the pureed stage, but I digress. I already have 97% lean ground beef I plan on making into a lettuce burger and while I won't have ice cream, I do have a square of sugar free chocolate I'm saving. It sounds weird, but it's honestly plenty now and I dont feel like I'm missing out.

At work we keep a machine for cauterizing wound awkwardly attached to the wall partially behind the exam chair. This is actually not a problem for anyone else in the clinic. But today was the first day was able to fit behind the chair to adjust the machine myself instead of have the doctor do it themself. I'm not sure they noticed but I'm so happy.

Last chance to skedaddle on out of this thread, I'm diving right into this hog mess. Onset of symptoms: week 3. Duration of symptoms: 2 weeks. Symptoms in question: constipation, diarrhea, intense pain sometimes accompanied by nausea, itching, occasional bleeding, dryness/irritation. Diet: 2-3 tablespoons of Greek yogurt mixed with protein powder and splenda at each meal. 4-5 meals daily. Supplement protein needs with Premier chocolate protein (pre-mixed). Have tried under the advisement of my doctor: more water, suppositories (have helped bleeding), hemorrhoid wipes, drinking more water, triple paste (diaper cream), exercising more, probiotics, more water. Have tried against medical advice: more fiber. I actually went home early today because I wasnt getting any work done with all my crying trips to the bathroom. I had only 5oz of my protein drink (instead of 11) and only ate 2 tbsps of yogurt at all today. Considering calling in tomorrow. TL;DR I'm really hoping that with all of this info yall will be able to point out something glaringly obvious that I am doing wrong so I can bring this suffering to an end. 😂

Final update. Intense pain persisted even after everything else. Finally saw a doctor: anal fissures. 🤷‍♀️ Make sure you have regular BMs and don't strain, people.

I've got a very special update. I 💩 myself. I didnt even realize it at first. It became a problem. But at least I am not constipated. I hope someone reading this was able to laugh.

Thanks, been meaning to update. Constipation has now been replaced by diarrhea, and I'm not sure what's causing that. No more Greek yogurt, probiotics, or whey protein drinks; overall cutting out dairy is an improvement. So far each meal has been pureed seafood and I've made a greater effort to get more vegetables in. Theres still pain/bleeding/itching, but it is less intense, so I'm grateful. I just have to keep up on water intake.

I'm 7 days away from being cleared to start exercising. All I have done for the past 5 weeks is walk. Not cleared for yoga, stretching, nothing. I am a paradox because I am so excited to exercise but have always gotten bored easily and would quit. Anyone else been in my shoes? Is there a workout routine you dont find so mind numbing to do?

My surgeon's requirements for the pureed stage are pretty steep and lasts 4 weeks. I hate life and would like advice for "recipes" or survival tips. The rules are as follows: Lean skinless whole beans/chicken/turkey/shrimp/crab/lobster/tofu blended with spinach, broccoli, carrots, cauliflower, green beans, zucchini. May use low calorie broths, salt/pepper, herbs, lemon/lime, worschestershire, soy sauce, vinegar, plain Greek yogurt to season.

I think ya'll are on to something. I've been awake for 4 hours and am so far doing okay after changing my diet. New protein sources for meals/drinks plus no dairy. Adding in some more MOM....and of course, water.