JaDa1972

It was 2 things that happened within a week of each other. I work on the fifth floor and we had an emergency drill which I had to go down 5 flights of stairs ( I actually thought about staying behind on the 3rd floor and hope no one would notice). All I could think about was if this was a real fire not only would my life be in danger but anyone trying to help me would be in danger because of my weight! The following week (December 2018) I had to go to my daughters college graduation for her bachelors degree . It was an indoor stadium and I could not fit in the seat. I had to squeeze myself side ways, half hanging out of the chair and praying that the seat didn't break. I was in so much pain by the time my daughter got her diploma that the tears were for my pinched legs and not so much for the special moment and I was so glad when it was over! I promised myself in that parking lot after taking the most horrible pictures that by the next year for her last graduation I will fit in the seat!

I became obese after my second child at 25. I miss my smaller self and that is the person I recognize. Even though my body would get bigger my face had remained the same. 5 years ago my face left me and has been swallowed up by another face. It has been a difficult change. I have shut out old friends because I don't want them to see what I have turned into. Just joined today and I couldn't bring myself to post my own pic. Maybe after I can post a before/after pic I will feel more comfortable. I am hoping that by the beginning of July I can have surgery.