BrighterSide

I had my sleeve when I got too old, tired and heavy to put the game face on to get past the preconceptions. For many years my ambition got me to work and events and my brains and way with words carried me through. I avoided social situations with all but closest friends as time went on. When I ceased feeling that hunger for a success that frankly cost too much in terms of sanity and family time, that final shred keeping me motivated and active got lost. Being at home with my family I forgot my size until rare occasions I had to venture out. At those points, confronted by an inability to hide the rolls, my self-image broke and hate in. Until then I had managed to disassociate naked huge me from the rest of me. Posted elsewhere that about 3 weeks after surgery I called a truce with my naked self. I began caring for my skin, even the parts with heinously crepey skin tears and overhangs. Ruined parts I had treated like a hoarders in denial. Now trying to shape a self-image that projects that I don’t want to ever try and compete on a ‘socially acceptable’ playing field looks and weight-wise even if my BMI says I may qualify for the first time in my life. Sure as hell not gonna start paying for pro blow drys, fake tans, Brazilians, manicures and spider lashes for nights out. Reckon it might have to be purple hair, purple clothes or both, cos for all the discomfort, aches, sweating, and periodic self doubt I did like the ‘f@!# you’ attitude I owned professionally and personally when I didn’t fit into a convenient pigeonhole. TL:DR I was intentionally dismorphic, and not sure how to navigate the new ‘normal’ :-)

You are a battery Some people energise you Some people drain you Too many of the latter and you will be no use to anyone, least of all yourself.

In the UK and so glad I have all this nutrition info to rely on as well as the tight food standards underlying it. Reason number 99999999 why I think we would be mad to follow through with Brexit! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Marks and Sparks (Marks and Spencer to the US crew) Chicken Balti. 100g out of the full thing (3.5ish oz) with chicken shredded and 7g Light Philadelphia to take some heat out. No leftovers. Microwaves in 3.5 mins. Perfect addition to my can’t be a%*ed meal portfolio :-)

Just ordered shedloads of clothes to try fill holes in my wardrobe cos, quite frankly, my jeans now look stoopid. Ordered UK 16 and 18 in most stuff as a lark. Kept a size 16 maxi skirt, 2 size 16 vest tops, and a size 16 shirt...and I cried. Uncharted territory from here on out. Very weird. Very wonderful.

I’m a sleever and I couldn’t handle Protein Shakes. The whey taste was too much. I have a nespresso machine and got my Protein in from day 1 with 1% milk lattes fortified with 10% or more skim milk powder or milkshakes with sugar free mix made the same. Do Decaf if it’s before bed, and down to one smaller latte now as get to target with food most days. Never had a prob with it. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thank you Mrs! Long time coming. Ref your Hair loss it is an expected thing sadly, but seems to vary between people. From being here I have realised I had the same thing happen about 4 months after my mum died. Regrew after about 4-5 months. Technically called Telegen Effluvium - our bodies putting all hair into the final stage of it’s life so hair loss ramps up from the usual when that final life stage finishes for the hair that was around when your body got the ‘shock’ that caused it. More here https://bariatricwriter.wordpress.com/tag/telogen-effluvium/ Arguably little that makes a big difference when that switch is flipped. Many recommend being super diligent with Protein. EDIT: And just realised you probably knew all that and were just asking if it’s started for anyone yet. Sorry!

Sooo, lost 5.7lbs this week. I know! How the heck did I do that?! Pattern had been 1-2lbs or less since week 3, until last week. Putting it down to either my body finally taking my word for it that there isn’t a famine, or the fact I had my first period for a year bridging these two weeks. Not gonna question too hard. Just gonna keep on keeping on and try and bank this feeling for the next slow to a crawl or stall :-)

Couple more from our local park where there’s been lots of unrequited duck love.

One of my biggest NSVs is hard to put into words. It’s similar to being a kid at school who has been laughed out of drama class, so despite wanting to be in the school play they tell themself: a) drama class is for crap people who have more ego than intelligence b ) they will probably be bad at it c) the class is pointless anyway Except all that is about the culture of dieting, gym going and other fitness and food culture things that non-obese people around me have been involved in. I guess you could also call it my Breakfast Club NSV. I’m the emo superior acting kid who’s finally decided I was cutting off my nose to spite my face by not joining in and having fun on my own terms. If that makes ANY sense?

21st here too :-) Great achievement! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

As a little photo development aside I did know a woman who worked in such a place and had a totally hilarious if inappropriate wine-fuelled conversation about what pictures have to contain to get you a stern talking to or the invitation not to use their services. Obvs. Wasn’t meaning the darker side of this, more the set of family holiday snaps with one rogue pic, obviously a self-portrait, of a certain someone’s something with a bow tied round it. Very red faced wife could only put it down to him being bored and stupid. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

So gorgeous. I feel at home and at peace under trees. Grew up near woods. Also love taking pictures, but never had a decent camera. Treated myself to a second hand Panasonic LX100 after lots of research. Take it on my walks just like you suggested, but need to learn to do more than just point and shoot :-) Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

If that was to me: The first two are from one of our local parks in NE England, the last place is Brimham Rocks in the Yorkshire Dales. The rocks have been there for 320 million odd years, since before the land mass that is now Britain was south of the equator - can you tell I read the guidebook Here’s another couple from there Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Aaand...plot twist! My period started yesterday. Not had my appointment with the menopause specialist yet, but my thinking is either: A) This is a delayed version of the fat cells letting oestrogen lose thing and may be just the one. B ) This is the last last gasp of my messed up 6 year peri-menopausal story or C) It really all just was cos I was fat, and now I’m less fat and taking all the right Vitamins I’ve picked back up where I left off in my late 30s for another year or two. Maybe just a coincidence, but I also had the biggest loss of recent weeks last week - 3.5lbs. Hmmm... Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Feeling pretty weepy today. Finally forced PCP to do some more definitive tests for menopause having had missed and disappeared periods put down since late 30’s to weight and stress. Conclusion is yes I’m in menopause and likely have been since age 40. Explains so much. Very sad. Stopped my career just about dead as developed flop sweats when presenting, skin crumbled, hair became straw, weight gain ramped, anxiety and depression deepened, sleep was pretty constantly broken and everyone dismissed symptoms as cause. Beginning to mourn the lost opportunities. Things turned down as I lost all confidence, felt it was impossible to solve and was all my fault.[emoji22] Edit: Had my cry and hug from OH. I am 100% better place to deal now having had surgery and made lifestyle changes. I wish I had done it 10 years ago, but probably wouldn’t’ have had qualifying BMI and would probably have spent money I didn’t have on a band because sleeve wasn’t about so much and bypass would have felt like a step too far. Am seeing brightness in the fact that I might get to know a baseline ‘me’ for the first time in many years and have a referral to a top specialist to explore ways to safeguard cardio and other health moving forward.

Love this too! Good for you! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

That’s really inspired me. Suspect our stats are very similar. Brilliant work Mrs! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Just had a fab Easter break with hubby and my two girls. Noticed the increase in get up and go. We went to a national park which has huge rock formations everywhere that everyone can climb on. It was spectacular and I managed 3km without really sweating. Hips feeling it later, but between dropping the weight and my thermostat reset to not feel the heat so much it was amazing :-) Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I turned down opportunities that could have set my kids and I up for life because it involved standing up in front of people to talk (flop sweat, panic about optic of fat woman sweating, either way it resulted in the same frizzy haired, red shiny mess) and public transport where economy was the only option and I couldn’t handle the looks and laughs and comments. I also always ducked out on swimming with the kids and many other things I either relied on my OH for or avoided as a family. Then there was dressing. Having, with horrible shame, to ask my fella to put shoes on for me. Smells from under boobs and belly despite good hygiene. Acute awareness of side rolls when sitting and belly resting on thighs. No energy left to front it until folk began to see me not the weight. Terror about my health having had two parents die in 60s from cancer, but ironically neither was obese. Palpitations. Early menopause ignore because of weight. Crippling knee pain when climbing stadium stairs when taking 12 yr old to a concert. Thought I would have to be stretchered out. Hip and knee pain more generally. Ruined skin. Forgetfulness for words and names put down to possible early onset dementia resulting from vascular restriction linked to weight etc etc etc. It was overdue. Best decision ever. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hi there, fellow UK peep here with plans for plastics one day so would be fab to know who your surgeon was and the cost in our old money. Results look incredible! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Empathising hard :-) I too work from home and while it was a mental health lifeline, it was the nail in my weight control coffin. Worked out I had gained 4lbs per year since OH and I got together to escalate the problem then WFH cemented it. He’s lost his through portion and calorie control, I had VSG. 5’4” 263 at highest, 258 SW on 21st Jan, 216 CW. Will watch out to see how you go :-) Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

On holiday with the family for the first time since my sleeve in Jan. 12 weeks today. Holidays were always a cue for indulgence. Never did the ‘diet hard so I can splurge’ thing, but did think ‘two weeks of treats won’t hurt’. Not indulged, but have compromised. Had a couple of crisps during a marathon game of monopoly. Had a couple of sweet potato fries with a fillet steak (totally gorgeous one with brie and crispy pancetta on top in a puddle of red wine sauce...yeah I know! Got loads to bring home that I’m having tomorrow with salad), and tasted eldest’s desert (she was right, it was exactly like after eight mints), but didn’t have one of my own. All that may sound to some like slacking, but I’ve stayed under 850kcal and hit protein and fluid targets with loads of extra exercise I’m really enjoying. Just guess I wanted to say it hasn’t been a slippery slope and feeling really good. If it’s less loss I’ll live with it cos I’ll be back in my own kitchen in 6 days with my own supermarket shop, but willing to bet it won’t be with how busy we’re being :-)