Everything

I think you guys are doing better than me. I’ve gained weight! I never thought that would happen because my restriction was so intense but I just ate a whole piece of bread and two scrambled eggs. I do feel really full but I have leaned so heavily on my restriction I’m gonna have to make some lifestyle changes. Maybe get out of the house and get some exercise.

I called them once - I was confused by that process. If the procedure isn’t covered then it would be cheaper for me to go to local and pay 10,000 versus 15,500. There are at least three good surgeons in Florida that are in the $10-$11,000 range!

Following. also where do you live Machta? There are three doctors in Florida, good reviews, to it bariatric centers of excellence, cash price 10,000 to 11,500.

I was low BMI, 30 BMI. I lost 60 pounds and I even deal with it. It’s pretty inEvitable. I’m starting to research surgery options now. I am a year and two months postop

How is everybody doing during the pandemic?

Wow - I knew I wouldn’t be alone but I’m surprised at how closely your situations parallel mine.... thank you both for sharing. ❤️

Wow wow wow! Everyone! Wow!!! It was an awesome year, amazing results for everybody! I get lost in the negative and forget to celebrate the positive. Body dysmorphia? I don’t know but I’m so happy to read from you guys because everybody is so positive and I have zero regrets about doing this surgery. The surgery resolved all of my hip and ankle pain, abdominal pain I was having from scar tissue, and a “TMI“ issue I was having as well! Also, I have never had good self-esteem but I do now.... better. Probably best to say “better”. I think I look beautiful but I still have my insecurities just like everyone else. My husband’s ex-wife taunted me for 13 years. 13 years of being called FAT, fat b****, huge, “waitress from Mel’s diner”... whatever that means, among many other appearance-related insults that were constantly flung at me. She would text me, email me, approach me in public... anything she could do to rattle me about my weight. She started harassing me and my kids again this past week (yes, I called the police) and previously had reached out to me through a text message (she uses my stepsons cell phone and pretends to be him to engage me in conversations which is how this one from a couple of months started, below), and... (I won’t say that this is all about the weight loss surgery) BUT it was such an amazing feeling NOT TO CARE. She has not seen me in over a year and assumes I still look the same. She can never BULLY me about my weight again. I’d like to say that didn’t play a part in making me feel like **** or didn’t motivate me to make change. It’s sad that adults over the age of 40 have to stoop to that kind of level. I just usually don’t respond or if I do, I try to be positive and rise above it. I’m sure I’m not alone in knowing what it’s like to have someone constantly verbally tell you how fat/ugly you are. Even if it’s somebody’s opinion whom you do not respect. My ex-husband also used to tell me I was fat and I would take diet pills to try to stay within his ideal range. His coworkers started calling him Cheeto at one point because he was telling them how he told me not to eat Cheetos. I weighed 115 pounds at the time and had given birth to his twins less than a year before. The guys he worked with ultimately started teasing him because he was being verbally abusive to me and THEY thought I was attractive. He even wrote me a letter about a year ago and said that I had passed my “fat gene” on to our daughter. I’ve had a lifetime of beating myself up over this. Even my Mom would tell me that I needed to “tone up”. I just look back and think - I’ve lost 30 years worrying about my weight!?! So, this has been so much more than losing 60+ pounds for me. Now I have started watching my calories and walking. I am fluctuating back and forth 3-4 pounds now as the restriction has decreased. It’s a small effort, and just a start after months of not having it under control and not really watching or staying on plan. Regardless, I feel great. I took this picture a few days ago and I know I’m healthy now and no regrets... Thank you to everyone here who has supported me and lifted me up through this process. Each and every person who has made any comment or contribution here is important to me. Whether we talked directly or not, all of the input was so greatly appreciated and continued to motivate me to stay positive. I’m so happy that everyone has had success! Group FEB ‘19 is the best!

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I was just in Hudson for HS cheer regionals!

Thank you Goodie! For a long time, I was feeling really bad about myself and just awkward. The change from heavy to small is such a weird adjustment. You would think we would be excited but I just felt uncomfortable with the compliments. Like I didn’t deserve them or something. Like they weren’t real. Or honest. I almost felt like people were just saying that need to be nice. I could look in the mirror and see a whole different person. The person I’ve always seen. I still feel sometimes like I “cheated” to get “tiny” by having surgery. It’s SoOoo psychological. It’s almost like a weird guilt and disassociation. I will hit my year anniversary on February 20. I’m still going through the head work. I think that’s going to be almost more work than the actual weight loss process. I hope I don’t sound weird. I’m just being honest.

By the numbers I’m 11 months and 24 days out. BMI is 18.94. Underweight is BMI of 18.49 or less. I freaked out for a minute too but I seem to have stabilized. It’s a lot of mental work when you’re going through this process...

I know- It’s weird for me too. I went into White House Black market and the lady looked me up and down. She’s like “you are so tiny you’re probably an extra extra small. Let me get that in that size for you”. Then I was eating with somebody last week and I told them (they did not know I had had surgery) that I eat really small portions and I’d be open to sharing a plate. He was like “oh I can totally tell - look how tiny you are!” So weird! But I love it though. And I feel better now. I’m actually able to eat somewhat regularly. Six days and counting till my surgiversary!

HAPPY SURGEVERSARY FROU FROU!!

Well I’m still losing weight. I weighed 97.6 pounds today. I guess I’ll just blow away in the wind eventually. My doctor gave me a new medication that I started about three weeks ago called amitriptyline. I hear it’s an old-school anti depressant med that’s been around forever. I was prescribed this for sleep. For the last two years I have really struggled to stay asleep all night. I usually wake up around 2 AM in really bad pain and take a muscle relaxer. It’s an awful cycle to be in. This medication has allowed me to sleep all night. And wake up feeling much more comfortable and have less pain through the day. I also seem to be able to eat better although I am technically still losing weight according to my scale this morning. Some people have reported that it causes weight gain but for me that’s kind of a good thing. I am noticing that I’m eating larger portions now. And I just seem to be more hungry overall. So I’m expecting a turn around soon. I am OK at 97 pounds but I do NOT want to lose anymore weight. When I went to pick up the amitriptyline from the drugstore there was a lady picking up her medications and I overheard her say “is this the phentermine?”. I wanted to grab her and say no! Don’t do it! I took phentermine off and on for 20 years. I Personally think it damaged my metabolism although I may just be making that up. Oh guess what! I got invited to New York fashion week! I am going to this really cool show that’s being held at JFK airport on the runway. It’s a week from tomorrow. I haven’t bought a plane ticket or a dress or anything but I’m really going to try to make it. I’ll share some pictures if I end up going! Thanks everybody for sharing your updates. Can’t believe we are Days away from our surgaversary month! Wow!

You look amazing!

Wow!!!!!!! You look great! That’s quick progress too! Way to go.

I wish I had your abs. My stomach is a hot mess express.

Good question! I started homemade smoothies again yesterday... need to add protein powder. But it’s a start. I actually love beet juice

Awesome thank you everyone! I appreciate the compliments and info on the bra. Totally agree on the shoes! I just did not wanna take a pic in flip-flops and that’s the best I could do on the fly. I love the shoes you have on your cruise photo. I will be shopping for something similar! Thanks again for all the feedback.

I covered up my hideous face and tried to take this at an angle where the light would let it sparkle, but it didn’t work out too good. Definitely need to work on this bra sitch, but here it is from a couple of angles! What do you think? We may go on a cruise in March and I’ll take it along then.

I’ll have to do a dress rehearsal but the way I look at this moment would not do it justice! I’m also going to be challenged to figure out the bra situation. I’ve never had a deep V top of any kind before. I have been seeing misses. kisses on my Facebook feed. That looks like it could work. Have you ever heard of that type of bra? I’m open to suggestions! I also thought about having a seamstress sew in a little panel in so that it would be more modest. Ideas???

I highly recommend this dress! Wore it out for a Christmas dinner and I could see it flattering many different body types. It was delivered same day via Amazon, lots of colors to chose from and decent quality for $23!! I’m 5’-0” and it was a good length for petites, and would be fun and flirty for taller ladies too! I have trouble finding dresses above the knee- just thought I’d share! R.Vivimos Women's Autumn Winter... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07GNZZY7L?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

I went NUTS yesterday shopping. Like $500 nuts. I was a little down after leaving pain management (that’s a whole other story) and decided to get some retail therapy in. I bought clothes back over the summer but they are falling off of me now and the end of season sales were calling my name. I have nowhere to wear these party dresses (yet), bought 2 at Express, will hold them for next years holiday parties! I got a bunch of sweaters and tops, 3 dresses, a romper, and a couple pair of pants! I looked at jeans, but honestly, I actually still like my Walmart jeans the best! I just can’t pull the trigger on jeans that cost over $25 dollars! Even if they are “60% off the already reduced price”. Nope!

I need to measure/track to get a better read on this. Ironically I try to pick high calorie foods to get cals in. I love veggies, but I still enjoy pasta and Tex mex type things. I just try to eat!!!

Last post - y’all know I go on post tangents and then disappear.... THANK YOU ALL!!! For all the support and kindness you’ve shown me! This group has been amazing. I can’t imagine this journey without having this component. I would have felt so all alone! Thanks for reading all my crazy posts and stories and for the unwavering compassion. I feel like I know and care about each of you personally. You guys are amazing!!! Counting down to the 1 year anniversary- WOW!!! ❤️❤️❤️