Recidivist

24-year relationship here, and I agree with all of the above. I would say our relationship is stronger than before, in large part because my improved health has made me able to do more of the things we both want to do, and my self-esteem is also higher. My spouse was incredibly supportive throughout the entire process. He did a huge amount of research as well to be sure that he understood what to expect and what I could and could not eat (and to nag me when I was deviating from the program). I would say that the fact you are asking yourself these questions means that you are going to be supportive of your spouse and sensitive to her needs, so your marriage should be fine. I would think it's the husbands who are threatened by the their wife's physical (and emotional) transformation who pose a threat to the relationship, as well as those who simply don't care and are clueless. Just keep communications open with your wife throughout her recovery and let her know you are there for her.

If it makes you feel any better, I was never able to eat as slowly as I was "supposed" to. I almost never got an upset stomach, and I was very successful in losing weight. I definitely ate more slowly after surgery than before, and I did that by making sure that I chewed everything very thoroughly before swallowing. Still, I could not make a tiny meal last 30 minutes or longer. I think the key is making sure that you stick to the program and don't eat bigger portions just because you can. As long as you are losing weight, you are good.

It is very likely dehydration. I experienced that as well shortly after surgery because I was not getting enough water. Check your blood pressure if you can. You might need to get IV fluids if it is dangerously low. My surgeon told me I should go to the emergency room if my systolic number (the top one) got below 90.

it happened for me during a routine physical. My doctor told me I needed to lose weight, which of course he always said (and I responded with my usual "I know, I know...."). This time he was quite blunt: he said that I did not take drastic action, I would likely have a major cardiac incident within 10-12 years that I might not survive. (I was 59 at the time.). He referred me to a local bariatric surgeon, and the rest is history.

I did a 2-week liquid diet (protein shakes) with no solid food at all. As others have said, it gets easier after a few days. Also, you won't feel this hungry again for months after your surgery.

Like you, I did almost no exercise in the first six months. As I've said here before, exercise isn't a major factor in weight loss. You are clearly losing enough weight without exercise, so you don't necessarily need to change your routine during the weight loss phase. I'm two years out and am just starting an exercise routine to build strength and stamina, not to lose weight. That's something you might want to think about down the line, but as long as your weight loss is on track, you don't need to worry.

One of my very close friends also reacted negatively. He is also obese, and my assessment that he was threatened by my decision to proactively do something to improve my health (and later envious of my success). I'm sorry to say that the friendship has never fully recovered.

Mine went quickly. I saw the surgeon for the first time in December 2018 and was originally scheduled for surgery in late February 2019. However, it was postponed to early March due to my surgeon's schedule. I did only the two-week liquid diet right before surgery. I had done a 6-month medically-supervised diet program from January to June of 2019, which I viewed as my last chance to lose the weight without surgery. I managed to lose 20 pounds, all of which was back by December. Fortunately, that program counted for insurance purposes.

It'a amazing how often I agree with Catwoman. My story is similar. I also told only immediate family and close friends. (One family member and one close friend were extremely critical when I told them of my surgery plans.) I took annual leave for the surgery. When the weight loss started becoming obvious, I said that I was doing a medically-supervised weight loss program through a local hospital, which was technically true. However, when seriously obese people asked me about it, I confided in them about the surgery in hopes they might be inspired to look into it themselves. In one case, a woman did subsequently get the surgery and has done very well, so I'm glad I told her about it. At this point (two years out), I've been at a normal weight for quite a while, so nobody asks about it any longer (or in many cases didn't know me when I was obese).

I also had RNY and had an easy recovery, with essentially no pain. The main issue for me was fatigue and lack of energy, and that lasted for about three weeks. I took naps constantly (what a luxury!) and wasn't able to walk as much I was supposed to at first because I was so tired.

I was doing about 1/4 cup during the puree stage as well. I never felt hungry, nor did I feel full. It was just a matter of getting in the protein I needed at that point. I was never able to make such tiny portions of food last 30 minutes or more. I made a point of chewing everything thoroughly when I got to solid food, but I still couldn't make my meals last long enough. I'm not advocating faster eating, just sharing my experience. I also wanted to note that my surgeon and nutritionist said that I did not need to stop drinking 30 minutes before eating, only after. That's what I have done since surgery and it doesn't seem to have been a problem. Again, just my experience.

Unfortunately I don't. I had the surgery in the United States and immigrated to Australia six months later.

PS: I just saw that you are in NSW. I'm in Canberra!

This is a great idea! There was a group of us on this forum who all had surgery around the same time (in 2019), and it was really useful to share our successes and setbacks with each other. Good luck!

Hi, Rob--and welcome! All of that makes perfect sense! Just about everyone here has a very similar story of yo-yo dieting over the years and then gaining all the weight back--and then some. It's also quite common for our friends and family members to be very skeptical (or downright hostile) toward surgery and think that we could lose the weight for good if we just put our minds to it. We know better, of course. I'd say the best thing would be for your wife to learn as much about bariatric surgery as possible. Do you already have a surgeon in mind? Many of them have classes and information sessions that families can attend. My surgeon did, and that was very useful for my spouse to better understand the process and why it was right for me. If you don't yet have a surgeon, perhaps your wife could accompany you to the doctor who recommended the surgery. My primary care physician also recommended the gastric bypass for me, and I was quite skeptical at first because it seemed so extreme. He explained that I was very unlikely to lose a meaningful amount of weight and keep it off due to my history of yo-yo dieting. It sounds like your wife is not necessarily opposed to surgery, just uninformed. If you haven't already, you might want to explain to her what your journey has been like and why you think surgery might be the best option. It's really difficult for those who have not struggled with their weight to understand what we go through. Ultimately, you need to do what is best for you, regardless of what others think. It's wonderful if we can get the support and buy-in of all of our friends and family, but that doesn't always happen. You need to decide for yourself what will give you the best chance at a living a long and healthy life. Please keep us posted!

No danger whatsoever--don't give it another thought. If you are generally compliant with the liquid diet, you'll shrink your liver. One little slip-up is not going to make a difference. (Full disclosure: I had two pieces of pizza at an office party during my 2-week liquid diet and everything was fine.). In fact, I've read here that some surgeons don't even require a liquid diet before surgery. Honestly, I would not even bring this up with your doctor.

I'm 61, so my skin probably can't bounce back as quickly as yours. Give it time and you may be surprised. And there's always plastic surgery if nothing else works. (I'm still considering it, but I would like to talk to other men who have had it before I make a decision.)

Are you a man? I am as well, and I lost about 105 pounds after bypass surgery. I had lots of loose skin around my belly that hung over the waistband of my pants. It looked like belly fat, but it was really just loose skin. If it's any help, I'm just about two years out and it has gotten much better, although it's not gone altogether. I think it takes our skin a bit of time to catch up to the weight loss. I've been told that weight/strength training would help, but I haven't yet tried that.

Not necessarily at Starbucks, but my standard coffee order is a skinny latte with two Equals.

That is really surprising and disappointing. It was my PCP who suggested bariatric surgery to me. He said that, given my history of yo-yo dieting, I would likely never be able to lose and keep off a meaningful amount of weight without surgery. (I was the one who was hesitant initially.). I believe that the general consensus among doctors is that bariatric surgery prevents a range of more serious (and costly) medical issues later on and that more people should be doing it for health reasons. I agree that you should find a new doctor!

Welcome, Duk. Nobody on my medical team talked about a goal weight either, and I had the same question when I started out. Like you, I chose my weight back in college, which was the last time I was really happy with the way I looked and felt. It turns out that I got down to that weight within about seven months and was able to keep losing, so I adjusted the number down another ten pounds to my high school weight! If you know that 181 was a good weight for you (and it sounds like you do), then go with it. This is not an exact science, and it's more important that you are healthy and feel good.

I buy soft chew multivitamins (grape) and calcium (caramel) from the Bariatric Pal and they both taste really good. I agree that the bariatric multivitamin tablets are god-awful. I take generic vitamin D gels from CVS. My favorite liquid protein is Isopure protein water (also grape flavor). it's clear and not thick at all, which I really like.

I had surgery a couple of times before bypass, so the people around me already knew that I'm not terribly pleasant when I'm recovering and basically steered clear of me in the first couple of weeks. This surgery is more major than many of us realize, and it's understandable that you are not yourself. I'd recommend a conversation with your family to express what you need (and don't need from them)--and apologize in advance for any future crankiness.

I'm celiac as well and have had no trouble (after bypass) with gluten-free pasta. As you said, however, we need to watch the quantity due to the carb content. Your homemade pasta sounds yummy!

I completely agree with this! We've all had the closet full of fat clothes that we kept during our various diets--but surgery is truly different and represents a new way of life. When I decided to have surgery, I saw this as my last chance and made myself a promise that I would NEVER go back to my old way of life. Also, I honestly think that it's extremely difficult to go back to the size we were before surgery, even if we do gain back some of the weight.