Recidivist

Hi, SAS. I'm so sorry to hear that you feel this forum is not a supportive environment. Aside from my surgeon's office, I actually found Bariatric Pal to be the best place to turn for support, advice and information. I learned so much from the other members here and found that as a rule we encouraged each other and cheered the successes of other members. I have seen the types of "shaming" posts you are talking about, but in my experience they are few and far between--and I think they are far outweighed by the positive and helpful posts. You will sometimes see "tough love" posts in response to people whose behavior suggests that they are not taking their diets seriously, but sometimes that's what they need. There's a difference between that and bullying or shaming. I had my surgery in February 2019, and there was a thread for all of us who had surgeries that month. We became like a social club and really got to know each other, and I found that tremendously helpful during the first 6 to 8 months. (I will admit that we are no longer very active now that we are all in maintenance.) Like you, I have not found any other sites that are as active as this one. I would urge you to stick with Bariatric Pal for a while. Hopefully you will find the support here that I have, and you can simply ignore the few people who engage in shaming. I would be happy to answer any questions you might have via a private message if you like (although I had bypass, not a sleeve). I wish you all the best going forward, and I hope you find the support you need, whether it's here or elsewhere.

I was 59 when I had surgery and am now 61. No regrets whatsoever, and just wish I had done it sooner. I was also told by a doctor that I should consider surgery after decades of yo-yo dieting, including multiple commercial diets (Atkins, Optifast, Nutri-System, etc.). Yes, I lost weight every time, and gained it back much more quickly than it had taken to lose it. My doctor was blunt: I had another 10 to 12 years before a major cardiac incident that I might not survive. That was the push I needed to get surgery. He also told me that there was little possibility at my age of losing a meaningful amount of weight and keeping it off. I also considered surgery the "easy way out." As anyone here can tell you, however, that is definitely not the case. It's a tool that will help you lose a lot of weight quickly, but it still takes lifelong discipline and a mental shift in the way you view food. I didn't realize before surgery how easy it can be to gain the weight back after a few years if you return to your old eating habits. The bottom line: DO IT! Your health and quality of life will be improved immeasurably!

Most of us gained some back when we got to maintenance. I had read enough on this forum to be prepared for that. I initially got down to 132 pounds, which was too thin, but I look good at my current weight of 142.

I literally burst into tears as they were ready to take me into the operating room and almost did't go through with the surgery. And I won't lie--the first few weeks were really tough and I did have some moments of regret. 18 months later, I look back on this as the best decision I've ever made!

I was told I could drink right up until eating from the very start, then at least 30 minutes after (but ideally 60). I've been doing that and have had no issues.

AZHiker, I can relate to some parts of your story. I still think of myself as a fat person, with all of the insecurities and self-doubt that entails. In spite of academic and career success, my parents always let me know that they considered me a failure because of my weight. (Unfortunately, neither of them lived to see me after surgery.) I know that had a huge impact on my self-image. Unlike you, I think I compensated for my weight by being extremely outgoing and "the life of the party." I was basically the stereotype of the "jolly fat person" because I thought it was necessary in order to be liked and accepted. At work, I think people never took me seriously or saw me as a threat--I was just the wise-cracking fat guy. After losing the weight, it's almost as though I'm not sure who I am. I've definitely noticed that people react to me differently since I've lost weight, and I no longer feel the need to have an over-the-top personality. I think this represents an opportunity to be judged for who I am and not how I look. That's unknown territory for me, and I'm trying to figure out how to navigate it. Losing the weight was much faster than no longer seeing myself as a fat and inferior person, which will take a while longer.

Wow. First of all, there is nothing selfish about taking control of your health by getting surgery. We all have the right to make smart choices about our health and our bodies, and you should be congratulated for taking the next step. You also have every right to celebrate your weight loss success after surgery and to find joy in everyday life that may have eluded you before. I'm not a psychologist, but I think it's pretty clear that your husband does NOT support your surgery. Saying you should think through your decision by giving you all the possible negative repercussions seems like a passive/aggressive attempt to talk you out of it. As you said, it's emotional abuse. If you can't get him to go the therapy, you should address this with your therapist (if you haven't already) so you can separate you own needs from your husband's attempts to control you. This decision might be the catalyst you need to explore whether your marriage is worth saving. Of course, I can't pretend to understand the dynamics of your marriage, but that's my honest assessment based on the information you have provided. Best wishes for whatever decision you make, and know that you will have a supportive community here throughout your journey.

You know you are a bariatric person when you are obsessed with "My 600-pound life."

I brought several books to the hospital but found that I was too exhausted to read them. I mostly just slept.

I told almost nobody about my surgery, so events with food were (and still are) a bit complicated and unnerving for me. However, buffet style is definitely the easiest to deal with, as you can pick and choose foods that will work with your diet. (I would frequently go with cheese and cold cuts. No, cheese is not the best choice, but it has protein--and a little won't kill you.). If it's a sit-down dinner, I usually say that I'm feeling unwell and will only be eating small portions of a few things. People don't usually push back. One word of warning, since this is the first time with family since surgery. If any of them are quite overweight, they might come across as a bit hostile or dismissive about your surgery. I have one obese family member who has never approved of my surgery and is always quite nasty about it. I believe that such people feel threatened by the fact that we are taking control of our health and may be a bit envious. (I hope this isn't the case with your family, but if it does happen, you're not alone.)

As usual, Catwoman is right on point. I also never ate it during weight loss, because my capacity was so limited. I was barely able to get enough protein per day, much less empty calories like pasta. In maintenance, nothing is strictly "taboo" if you can tolerate it (and I've found that I can tolerate almost anything). However, you still need to limit carbs, fats and sugar while prioritizing protein. It's all a matter of balance and priorities.

Mine was almost yellow for quite a while after my surgery, and there were no issues as far as I'm aware. It did get back to normal eventually.

I've had them and they are wonderful. They are, however, quite small.

There are no stupid questions--we all wondered the same things before surgery. The answer, at least according to my surgeon, is that it's a lifetime commitment. It was really difficult for me at first, but now it seems normal not to drink with meals.

Here are the ones I use, from the Bariatric Pal store itself: https://store.bariatricpal.com/collections/soft-chew-bariatric-vitamins/products/bariatric-advantage-multivitamin-chewy-bites-flavors I like the strawberry/watermelon flavor.

Welcome, Chelle. I will first say that I did feel pretty good before surgery, although my labwork suggested otherwise. I had been obese for so long that I guess I didn't know better. Once I lost all the weight, I realized how "good" really feels! In answer to your questions: Taking meds: I did have to crush them for a couple of months and it is disgusting. Unfortunately, that's part of the process. I found that the quickest and easiest way was to simply put the powder on my tongue and wash it down with water. (I tried them in liquid, in yogurt, etc.--even worse.). After trying various multivitamins, I found that "soft chews" worked best for me. Even the so-called "chewables" in hard form made me gag. Water: It is indeed very difficult to get the full amount of water at the beginning, but it gets better over time. Bear in mind that protein shakes can count as part of the liquid requirement. Just do the best you can. I had a bottle of water with me all day long and took sips as often as I could. Liquid and puree stages: Yep, they are boring. I found, however, that I had no appetite whatsoever and had to force myself to get enough protein every day, so I didn't really care what things tasted like. If you mean "bland" as in not spicy, that is probably best in the beginning. I ate lots of non-fat Greek yogurt at the beginning, and I got really sick of protein shakes. Again, it's all part of the process and you will get through it. I've never heard of anyone having to "start over" after eating the wrong things during the puree stage. Some people talk about a "pouch re-set" when they stop losing weight, but that's more psychological than an actual physical issue. Good luck! I promise that you will look back in six months and wonder why you hadn't done this sooner!

I had RNY. I was originally scheduled for just one night but ended up staying three due to complications. It was a bit of a setback but all ended well! 🙂

I'm 17 months out and am sorry to report that I still have very frequent gas and "tooting." It seems to be part of the new normal and I've learned to cope with it. As far as I'm concerned, it's a relatively small price to pay for all the benefits of weight loss. I don't suffer from diarrhea. I have noticed that an increase in my carb intake causes a much softer stool, and I'm guessing that your diarrhea is related to something in your diet. You might want to chat with your nutritionist or perhaps start experimenting by taking certain things out of your diet (e.g., dairy) to see whether there's any improvement.

Thanks, Arabesque. I was not aware that excess protein is stored as fat. I'm currently eating significantly more than the recommended 60g per day and may need to cut back.

I'm just like Arabesque--I was a guzzler before surgery and it's frustrating not to be able to do that now. I also have a water bottle with me essentially everywhere I go. I thought that would be awkward, but I've gotten used to it--and it's quite common if you look around. I'm basically drinking small amounts all day, from the time I get up until I go to bed. I do feel thirsty from time to time, but I'm definitely getting the water I need (based on the color of my urine).

I had bypass, but the good and bad outcomes should be essentially the same. For me, it has been almost all good. As Sammi Kat said above, the health benefits have been immeasurable. I am off BP and cholesterol meds, no longer have knee pain or sleep apnea, I sleep better, have more energy, and generally feel better than I have in 20 years. Health and well-being is the reason I had the surgery, and on that front it was definitely worth it. I'm not having the food issues Sammi Kat describes and can eat essentially anything, but in much smaller quantities. I don't feel deprived at all. On the vanity side, it's nice to look better, fit into normal clothes and not have to worry about being fat when I'm looking for a seat on public transportation. It's also nice not to always sweat and feel hot. (I actually get cold easily now.) Cons: As you said, loose skin. It's not visible in clothes aside from the loose flesh on my neck, which makes me look older than I used to. I don't look great naked, but I'm 61 and my wonderful spouse is just happy that I'm now healthy and can be active again. One thing I never expected is that it's quite uncomfortable to sit on a hard surface for any length of time without the padding on my butt. Those minor drawbacks are nothing compared to the tremendous benefits of surgery. I would do it again in a heartbeat!

My advice would be to maintain a healthy lifestyle and follow the post-op diet plan. Don't go overboard and try to starve yourself or become irrationally obsessed with exercise. Focus on how much you have accomplished and the fact that you are way healthier than you were before!

I really regretted having the surgery for more than a month afterwards, and I didn't start feeling somewhat positive about it until several weeks after that. I was just miserable. Now that I'm in maintenance I think it's the best decision I ever made and just wish I had done it sooner. Hang in there!

Now that I'm in maintenance I could probably eat McDonald's (or other fast food), but I'm sure I could never handle an entire burger and fries due to the volume. However, I've never tried and haven't been tempted. I have found very few foods I can't tolerate at this point. My main problem is overeating from time to time, but as a rule I don't crave the unhealthy foods I used to love. As Arabesque said, it's a matter of choices, and none of us are likely to make perfect choices for the rest of our lives. It's okay to indulge now and then if you would otherwise feel too deprived, as long as you don't make it a habit. I will admit that I've eaten a scoop of ice cream a few times since reaching maintenance! 🙂

My doctor told me that there was no limit on drinking before eating--only during and after. Has anyone else been told that?