I_Said_NO

I've been struggling to get over this hump. In the process I've developed awful headaches. I had my face turn numb and I thought I was or had had a stroke. I panicked a bit and went to the doctors. Turns out I have stress/tension headaches. I have been holding my neck, shoulders and teeth so tight that I caused this numbness. The cure? Stop stressing out. blah. LOL Here it is 2 weeks later and they have lessened but they are still here. I have some mental stress that is really not a big deal when you think of the nation as a whole... the economy, the swine flu, etc. My 'stress' right now is that my life is going through so many changes. I've been married for 25 years and our oldest is about to graduate from college, and my oldest son is about to go to college, my youngest, my little premie is about to start kindergarten. This would be the last to fly the coup. I'm struck with wondering what I should do. I've been a stay at home mom and a working mom. Neither is better than the other for the mom.:smile2: LOL. The kids do better with the first, and in some ways I did better with the later. :wink2:I was struck with an epiphany during all of this. I got fat by turning to food for EVERYTHING. Especially stress. There is something soothing and calming that happens when I eat. Numbing. And here I feel like with the band, I was dropped on this stressful island with no other way to cope, or at least all the other ways did not compare to the way a big mac and fries with a tall diet coke could. And there are countless other combination's that sooth the beast inside me. Now I have to cope, to learn more ways of dealing with whatever life throws me. It has not been easy. And perhaps these "stresses" are rather low on the stress-scale but heightened with the lack of stress-relieving-foods i have coped with for years. Even in my thin years I was using food to cope. Without the food to cover up my thoughts and my memories, past things are coming up and haunting me. Draining my confidence. But I can get through this. It is the past. I am the future. I am not losing, however, I am not gaining. And though it may not seem 'great' to most ... it has struck me recently, thanks to prayers and Gods mercy, that this is all part of the messy process. I want this to be a lifetime 'loss.' I've seen so many gain the weight back. (not just lapbanders, but GB, and others who did it sans surgery) ... That thought is scary. Just thinking of that now, makes me feel nauseous. Deep breath. I'm on my way. So I'm hanging in there. Facing anger, depression, stress, disappointments, and all without the food, not because my willpower is so great, but because my band is so tight. :biggrin: So thank you lap-band. And to you, reading this, thanks for being there, and for reading this far, it is a lot to expect strangers to stop their busy days and read my thoughts ... strangers that are sharing this same process. You've helped me in ways you do not even know. ty:thumbup:

I really want to go back to school and do something completely different... the prospect is scary... another thing that keeps me up at night. Thanks for your input.

Oddly I did not face much of this in the early banding months... I seemed to have such satisfaction in the scale moving that that was my 'drug' of choice. But once the scale stopped moving, I had to start facing the demons that caused me to overeat in the first place. I'll get there... but it would be nice if the scale would move at the same time... there is something about having results for my efforts that helps get over the tough times.

It sure does... hence the 6 kids. LOL... I LOVE holding babies... my dh always sez, "ought oh" when he sees me holding a baby. He grins and knows what a joy it is for me. Thanks for your advice. Today has been a rotten one ... not food wise, just in general, and facing it head on and not numbing myself just makes it more intense... I can get through it. peace

Does anyone else try to fight the lap band? :cool2: I know that sounds very lame ... but I sometimes find myself doing that!!! STUPID ... I KNOW. :smile2: When I first got the lapband, I stuck to the program. I was motivated by results. The weight came off, slow, but it was consistent. Then I hit a plateau, that seemed to go on forever (more than 8 months). I went for fill after fill, and when I did get restriction, I still did not lose. Instead of turning to our nutritionist, or upping my exercise, I eventually ate around the band. I think I was using it to cope. Dipping my pizza in oil, or anything in oil, making candy bars a MEAL! You get the idea. STUPID STUPID STUPID. I think the food addiction is stronger than I realized, but I've decided to STOP!!! I promise. I've been planning my daily intake the night before, or the morning off, depending on my time. I just pull out a small notebook and jot it down. I am finding that if I plan, and IF I don't let myself get too hungry. And learning to deal with life without turning to food is the real challenge. Going to go search the boards for more on that. I'm done whining.

Thanks so much for your replies. I took advice and went and bought some. I am really tight and Protein ... the thing that helps me lose the best... is very hard to digest. Especially tuna, salmon, chicken... so last night I intentionally ate tuna to see how it worked. It was wonderful and I did not over eat. ty ty ty:thumbup:

That is so true... 'eating around the band' ... I am v. tight right now and I'm kind of mad that I didn't just plan and work with the previous fill. This has limited me so much. Before I could eat egg for breakfast, and maybe 1/2 slice of toast. I could have a salad for lunch, etc. Now I have to have liquid for morning and lunch and then something soft for dinner. But I am not going to fight it. It won't hurt me to eat this way for a while, and then once I lose more, it will adjust and I'll be able to eat more. Also you mentioned PLAN ... this is so true!!!! I have been waking up, sitting on the edge of my bed and planning my day... eating and exercise. Then to back it I'm entering my foods at sparkpeople.com. At first I was like this is ridiculous all this time spent on this losing weight then I decided to allow myself all the time I needed... because this is the 'project of my life.' Everything else can wait.

I found some 'carb' friendly candy... but it did a number on my tummy! I had 3 pieces as my snack before bed. I could not get to sleep... turns out that one needs to be careful with those sugar free candies. I too am a candy monster... always have been. Somedays it is total white-knuckling

Good morning all! I am recommitting to my plan. How did I get here? Well I had been on a plateau for months... I've even lost count of it. I kind of lost my drive that I had started with. I think the scale was motivating me and when that stopped, little by little I felt such a let down. Next, I dabbled in WW but after taking off 9 more pounds I then hit another plateau. I realized I was eating beyond my band... just to get my points in. So I quickly quit that. I went to a LB meeting and I got renewed hope. So I am here to tell you, my band friends, that I am going to grab on to this second wind and run with it. Anyone else been there? I must get this other woman off my back! blah!

OK, I've avoided buying the papaya enzyme because I've been afraid I would 'depend' on them and not slow down or watch what I ate. Did any of you notice that taking them slowed your weightloss progress? I know really lame :scared2:... but I just don't want to find ways to 'fight' the lapband... not saying you all are, but I think my mind is too warped. ty

is it possible that some people are just wired wrong and that they will be drawn to food like a cat to a mouse no matter what?!?

LOL! You are so right! I picked that name because I feel like I say, NO, all day long.... I guess I need to take my own advice! :smile2:

AMEN! :smile2:

Amound you sound just like I did a few short days ago. I think i've dropped about 3 pounds... not coming off as fast as when I FIRST had the band, but it will. We can do this! I do load my foods, everyday, into spark people. I am thinking of putting them somewhere here on LBT... do any of you post your daily log on a thread somewhere?

I recently attended a LB support group. I listened as I heard stories of how many still have just a shake for breakfast/lunch. I got out of that habit some time ago. I then questioned those that did this if they were the cooks or the caretakers in their households. Well the ones that were shakes only with one meal per day were all single. Those of us that tired of the shakes eventually had mouths to feed, groceries to buy, sandwiches to cut.... etc. Frankly, IT IS MORE difficult no matter what anyone sez. I'm not using it as an excuse, but I would love some kind of support group or help. I mean if an alcoholic had to touch, handle liquor all day long... would he be able to stay sober? In my dream world, I would wake up, have a shake, do my day, have a proti-Protein Soup for lunch. Throw in a healthy snack or two, go to the gym, and make a healthy dinner, and go to bed. My friend, a father of 5, leaves all of the above to his lovely wife. He agrees that if he had to touch, shop for, cook, taste, etc, ... food all day he'd not have gone quite so far. NOT an EXCUSE... but @%#! :wink:... man I'd love a break from all this food handling. LOVE my dh and kids and wouldn't change my life for all the pounds in the world, but really would like a clue... any ideas ? Gotta go make the lunches. <sigh> Anyone else go through this?

Very nice post. However, I don't think I'm where you are ... I work towards that ideal way of thinking, but I think I must be a very weak person. :wink: Thanks!

Haha! I do the same thing. I've been trying to make his lunch while I'm doing dinner dishes... but I too often forget.

update: I went for a fill about 2 weeks ago. I was allowed to see a new doctor, as the last one was so negative I was avoiding going. I had no change since my last unfill. So that was depressing, BUT, I'm back on track with my second wind. I think my next step will be to go see the nutritionist and see if she has any ideas. I think for me, planning is key. In fact, I'm going to go plan right now my day of food/exercise. Has anyone else done anything to get back on program?

Oh this is so true! I went to one of the lapband support meetings and the newest nutritionist, just graduated, :thumbdown:, said to the group, "I have a great idea I want to share with you, when you are making muffins replace the butter with applesauce!" I wanted to walk out. Then she proceeded to demonstrate portion size. We now have another nutritionist... just as young, but she seems to have a better understanding of the lapband program.

haha... mine doesn't... she's v. nice.... it's my doctor who scares me. If someone could be labeled the most unmotivating person on the planet... he'd win hands down.:frown: That is a good idea actually!

I have noticed that there are all sorts of different rules out there... What rules did your doctor give you to follow after you got that band?

Thanks so much for posting... i'm going to print and keep with me. You'd think I'd have it down by now. :crying:

well I am going to review my band rules, and make a plan for the week. I am still in my mind set of not 'banding' but I'm determined to shake it off and get over this hurdle. I'm open for ideas... any suggestions?

Because I use food for more than nutrition. I have daily pain and food boosts something that gets rid of pain. So... When I hurt, I eat.:ohmy: When I get depressed, I eat.:sad: When I celebrate, I eat. When I have anxiety, I eat.:w00t: When I can't sleep, I eat.:eek: When I'm angry, I eat. :eek: when I'm anxious, I eat. When I'm bored, I eat. :cool2: When I watch TV or go to the movies, I eat. :tt2: Get the picture?

I feel like the lapband has failed me, or I'm the failure. Not sure which. Haven't posted in a while, but this is ridiculous. They told us not to put all our eggs in one basket and to not look at this like the 'last resort' but who are we kidding... when we go under the knife to lose weight, that is the last resort. DUH. I've spent the morning crying and feel I have no where to turn. I'm just so frustrated! I joined WW but that made me do nothing but THINK ABOUT food 24/7. I lost about 9 pounds in 4 months with them. Wow! I'm sorry, I just thought maybe someone out there had something to share, some bit of wisdom. So sorry. My doctor had me on the high Protein shakes, Soups, etc. V. low carb sort of diet, which is how I lost most of the weight, but I am wondering if that didn't screw up my system and set me up to fail if i ate anything remotely off the low carb plan. I'm dizzy with all this... so at a loss. sorry.:sneaky: