Freetofly

Your Breakfast IS your morning medications! Your snack is your vitamins!

Oh, when I could first start crossing my legs comfortably ... !!!!!! I still remember that day!

...when your afternoon snack is one cherry.

My family always celebrates birthdays by everyone eating the birthday person's favorite food. When it got to my turn, I said they all have to go to out to dinner, order one meal, and split it between them all!

B - DanActive yogurt drink S - 1 cup pinto bean soup L - 1/4 baked potatoe w/butter and 1 oz grilled chicken S - tortilla chips D - nothing. I fell asleep when I got home from work and didn't wake up until 8 o'clock, and I do not eat after 7pm

SickNTired - I spit into the trash can when I can't make it to the bathroom or the sink in time when something is coming up - usually from being stuck or just plain eating too much for my pouch.

...when the hottest rumor at work is that you're bulemic. (The girls just HATE it when I run into the stall to PB - yuck!)

Jenhay - thank you so much for the prayers!!! Hugs, Donna

Fluffycat, This coming from someone who is stuggling so much may sound hypocritical, but I think what we all have to do in order to "let go and let God" is SUBMIT. That word has a lot of Biblical connotations, many of which really rub me the wrong way as a woman. When I think about submitting, I think of falling to my knees and saying "Ok, Lord, I give it all to you." Now, that's scary, especially for me because I have major trust issues stemming from previous relationships and marriage. Every now and then I can do it, when I'm feeling particularly weak and tired and helpless. But somehow, when God does lend His helping hand to me and gives me strength, I suddenly tell Him "go away, I can do this myself," like some stubborn two-year-old. Back to square one. Again. And again. Submitting is so against everything I've ever learned in life. Hugs, Donna

I have a hard time eating before 3pm, for some reason. I think my stomach/pouch reacts to my stress level. When I can get home and have a small glass (about 1/8 cup) of wine, then I can eat. B - Danimals smoothie L - 1 cup soup S - 100-cal pack of Doritoes (made me sick) D - 1/8 cup white wine, then pasta with butter and Parmesean cheese (the butter seems to grease the way) S - Two chocolate cookies I should get in the habit of not eating after 7pm. I can sure blow it at night! Protein is my toughest food these days. My choices for dinner can really suck, but that's my old eating habits refusing to let go. Guess I better show them who's the boss around here, eh? Hugs, Donna

I still find myself waffling on Step 1 - sometimes I'm absolutely sure I have no control over my compulsions, sometimes I'm too stubborn to admit it. I'm having some major problems with Step 2 this week. I have been having the most horrifying thoughts of telling God to get out of my way - I've never done that before. I really am a mule-head. I refused to go to church Sunday because I wanted to clean my house. I told myself that the choir music is boring, nobody cares, I don't know that many people at church anyway, yadda yadda yadda. My group meeting this week was all about "letting go and letting God", believe it or not. Coincidence? The strangest thing is - I know how to do that, and I've done it before. Unfortunately, I always seem to grab my personal crap back and stubbornly try to handle it all myself because "it's my responsibility". :confused2: Maybe I should move on to Step 3, and start taking a good, long look at who I really am. Sometimes when I do that, I can finally deal with it. It's kinda like when I realized some of the major factors driving my compulsions, then my compulsive eating stopped being so much fun. And yet - I find myself not wanting to give up that part of me yet. I get something out of my compulsive eating I'm not quite willing to completely let go of yet. I crave the unconsciousness of it, the escape from my lousy life, the carb and sugar highs. I hate this disease. I hate the aloneness of it. I hate not feeling "normal". I hate being "broken". Most of all, I hate being fat. Hugs, Donna Compulsive Overeater

...you make a spaghetti dinner for the family, and all you eat is a small bowl of the sauce.

....when you are out to dinner with friends, and the kids are calling you on your cell phone to find out what you're bringing home for them!

...when you can kneel comfortably in church and not have to sit back against the pew.

HooBoy - can I relate to that, Fluffycat!!! You really sound like you are ready and motivated for your new lifestyle. YOU CAN DO IT :teeth_smile:

Bozzj, how do you make a porabella parm? I love portabella mushrooms!

Big Baby, I agree totally with Luluc. I weigh my food as well, because I believe it's important to (1) keep my portion sizes consistent, (2) ensure I get enough Protein in my day, and (3) not overstretch my pouch with too much food, because my eyes are ALWAYS bigger than my stomach! :thumbup: I also strongly believe in a "food plan" - I pack my lunch box every day (sometimes even on the weekends) with my planned meals, and stick to it. More often than not, I don't even eat everything in my lunch box. ("Lunch Box" is a bit of a misnomer, since it includes my breakfast and sometimes my dinner also.) It's a different lifestyle, requiring many changes to personal habits and strategies. But it's worth it! Hugs, Donna

....when your 3-yr-old goddaughter has learned how to spit in the trash can, and her parents can't figure out where she learned THAT from...

When your friends won't invite you to dinner anymore because the food they cook keeps making you "sick".

Yesterday: B - oatmeal (could only eat half of it) L - barbeque lunch: 2 oz brisket, 2 oz ham, 2 oz potato salad, 2 oz cole slaw, and 2 oz baked beans S - 1/4 c cottage cheese and 1/4 cup applesauce D - 1/2 c lasagna and 1 cup watermelon S - 3 tortilla chips

Got a fill, I'm up to 2.5 now, here's my first day post-fill day's food: b - Boost Glucose Control protein shake s - Pringles snack sticks l - soup s - oatmeal, weight-control d - 1/2 oz meatloaf with ketchup s - 2 Vanilla wafers Feels SO much better!

Luluc - grilled watermelon, really? How is that? I've never heard of it! Hugs, donna

Maudan, I think you will find the meetings inspiring, Anonymous of course (all the meetings I've ever been to people just use their first names), and very safe. You don't even have to say a word - many people don't. The meetings are a great place to be with people who share our particular addiction, and you'll find you are not alone. And you don't have to be alone. You don't have to do it on your own. Hugs, Donna

Sunshinesusie, When I slime, it's like a huge slimey burp "bubble" - it's the weirdest thing! When your band says No! it means No! in the most disgusting ways sometimes lol. Hugs, Donna

Tricia, I've been to two meetings so far. I bought the Big Book last time, and have been reading it. I'm mad at food right now. Do you think that might be a common step in the process? Hugs, Donna