ms.sss

From the band to nothing.... to the sleeve..... it has been a longggggg journey.  It begain in 2009 with the band and at 232lbs....(5'2") size 18-20..... and here i am today at 126lbs and a very comfortable size 4....
Life is great

I think i just spent the entire morning plus a couple more hours on here.
My name is ms.sss and I am a BP forums-aholic.

I think i just spent the entire morning plus a couple more hours on here.
My name is ms.sss and I am a BP forums-aholic.

Finally! A milestone! As of today I've lost 101 pounds before my 6 month anniversary! Whooo! 

I really thought we had put all the "you are so skinny, are you sick" comments behind us.
Apparently not.
My mom, MY MOM! came over today with the specific intention to tell me that she thinks I am too skinny and to stop losing weight.  I had dropped off some dessert a her place the other day and she said she had to come over to tell me that she is worried because she thinks that I am even skinnier than over the Xmas holidays.
First, I stopped losing weight 6+ months ago.
Second, I am actually 6 lbs heavier than I was over xmas (I had lost some weight after my PS, and have since gained it back), so I don't know what she is talking about.
Third, I look awesome.
🙄

Some days I’m still coming to terms with how I look now. You know when you’re walking past a shop window and realise the skinny woman reflected in the window is actually you. 
Was trying on shoes the other day and actually looked to see who was the woman with the slim legs I could see in the mirror. Then I realised they were my legs. Dumbfounded! I used to say I had good legs from the ankle down but now they look pretty darn good from mid thigh down (too much loose skin above that point 😜). 
Haven’t got my head around dress sizes yet either. How can I be a size 6 (Aust) or need XS?  Does this come in a smaller size is a question I often ask now. I remember when I bought a pair of size 12 pants while I was still losing & thought they were so small. 
It’s a bit of a head spin. 

It’s my eight month surgery anniversary. Whoo hoo!
It hasn’t been easy but then it could have been much, much more challenging. I’ve had stalls that lasted weeks & weeks. I’ve mysteriously developed some health issues (fingers crossed they don’t become serious) which I didn’t have before. I’ve forgotten what a regular bowel motion is, vomit bile & saliva about once a week (damn morning vitamin) & some days I gurgle like a blocked drain! My energy levels aren’t great & I often feel tired but I’m sooooo glad I made the decision to have the surgery. 
I feel way better about myself. I look way better than I did. 😜 My feet don’t ache. My hiccups and reflux are not as severe as they used to be (no more sore muscles after a hiccup attack). I don’t breathe heavily walking up a couple of flights of stairs. I’m the smallest in my family not the biggest (though I’m still the shortest - tee hee). 
There have been unexpected learnings & realisations that resonated. Like realising I am a small person but I ate like I was a large framed 6ft 2. Like realising my nieces & nephews didn’t see me as their fat aunt but just saw me as their Sissy; their favourite & bestest aunt who loved them to pieces. Like I can sip one drink for hours, not eat the cheeses, dips, charcuterie or fries & still have lots of fun when out with my friends. 

7 months since my sleeve and I've lost 100lbs. I started at 240 and today weighed in at 140. I feel great! Wearing a size 6 again, it's been awhile since I could say I wear a size 6 jeans comfortably...thinking a size 4 may not be too far off. 

I survived the Christmas overindulgence. Woo hoo. My sisters-in-law & I share the cooking duties & make our favourite things. This year we pledged not to over cater so we wouldn’t have lots of leftovers. 
Looked around the lunch table and saw the plates over full of beef, ham, vegetables, salads & potato bake. My plate was like an after pxt: a tiny piece of ham & roast beef (5cm square), a broccolini stalk & a slice of cucumber. 
Thankfully we had a couple of hours break until dessert for which I had contributed most options. This was my challenge. First time I’ve eaten anything sweet for 8 months. I was expecting massive abdominal discomfort, maybe dumping. I took a thin slice of my steamed marmalade pudding, a dash egg custard, a spoon of jelly and a small piece of my cheesecake with cream & mixed berries. (I refused to make pavlova this year.) I ate a teaspoon of each & gave the rest to my mother. Everyone had seconds & some of my  grown-up nephews had thirds (they’re 6’4” & 6’6” & very slim - so unfair). 
Most importantly I survived. No side effects except a little gurgling &  I was very windy after - lol! Didn’t feel like I was really missing out. Though I would have loved one of my sister-in-law’s rum balls - she more than quadruples the rum. 
Haven’t stepped on the scales but I’m not expecting to see any real change. 

Today I said I’m an XS or size 8 (Aust) at a clothing store. I never thought I’d say those words and say them with confidence. And when I commented a dress was too big on me I was told it was the smallest size. As was the belt I wanted. 
 
I tried on a slim fitting singlet dress yesterday & was shocked to realise the lumpy bits on the dress were my hip bones. I have an hour glass shape so I always had hips but never ones that stuck out on the front of my body! 

I’ve been a size 10 before - for about 5 minutes. While I am now confident about saying I’m an 8, clothes shopping is all still a bit freaky for me. It’s not that I’m focussed on the size on the label. I’m well aware the cut/line of the clothes and the designer’s style will dictate what size I need or if it will suit my body shape. The size is the starting point & it’s starting at an 8/XS/38 which is a big mind set change. It’s thinking a pair of pants will be too small & discovering they are almost too big. 

While I’m still coming to terms with my actual new body shape and size, I’m very happy to be in this new reality. 
 

I have to say, even more than 2 years out, it is so much easier to be good when your busy and so easy to go wrong when your bored.  Crappy weather and the wife is sick so i feel trapped in this house and i have to really watch myself.  At least the holiday leftovers are gone.
Going to get out this week even if for only a few hours, maybe go see  Ford vs Ferrari that looks real good.
Ok, whining over, I hope everyone is doing well and had a good thanksgiving.

Goal setting should be something you have total control over. I was thinking about this the other day. Weight loss is not something we have total control over, but eating a certain number of calories or exercising a number of times per week is.
I realized this when I was thinking about how my students set goals for getting better grades. Getting the grade they want is only partially within their power. So if they don't get the better grade they worked towards, then the positive behaviour they have formed will be seen as useless even if it's going to eventually get them to their goal.
We've all played these games, but I think many times our goal setting misses the point. Choose something we have control over and measure ourselves that way rather than using something that can at times seem arbitrary. 

So after over a month I decided to weigh in.... HIT MY GOAL! Figured I had gained honestly with all the weight training...
 
Now what?
Considering plastics...... But is it really worth the money/risk? Yeah I will feel better ( I think) but vanity is not everything.
 
Stuck in limbo..

So my surgery anniversary date is on the 24th of this month, but I had my 1-year follow up early with my surgeon this morning (I have another 1-year followup at the hospital on Monday to get my bloodwork and labs done).
Anyhoo...my surgeon was very pleased with my results (and so where the office staff apparently, because 3 of the front desk ladies came by my exam room to give me props/high fives/generally gawk at me).
But get this: he asked if I would be willing to come in for a future photoshoot so that I could be on a poster! And I was all, ummmm....no thanks, LOL.

So my surgery anniversary date is on the 24th of this month, but I had my 1-year follow up early with my surgeon this morning (I have another 1-year followup at the hospital on Monday to get my bloodwork and labs done).
Anyhoo...my surgeon was very pleased with my results (and so where the office staff apparently, because 3 of the front desk ladies came by my exam room to give me props/high fives/generally gawk at me).
But get this: he asked if I would be willing to come in for a future photoshoot so that I could be on a poster! And I was all, ummmm....no thanks, LOL.

I can now buy clothes in normal stores again. Admittedly the first time when I started trying on clothes, I really had to keep myself calm. Normally trying on clothes causes me to become SOOO depressed that it take weeks just to get over it. Now, I have to keep myself from not wanting to buy everything!

Down 31 pounds in my first month! OK, so a month and two days, but I'm counting it anyway. 😆
At this point, I'm doing well overall. According to surgeons' instructions, I'm on soft foods for another week-ish. I'm so ready for solids - the soft foods can be such "sliders" and I have to be extra, extra careful.
For example, my refried beans + dollop of plain Greek yogurt + tomatillo salsa verde became a problem. I never felt satisfied and felt I could have easily had a much bigger serving. Then, far worse was when I made homemade hummus - holy cow it is SO GOOD, but again - felt like I could have downed a quart, no problem. 😂
It's (for me at least) extremely challenging to "eat mindfully" when the food is that soft. I mean for crying out loud, there's nothing to "chew on"! 😂
So, couple of days ago - I committed to no more refried beans and no more hummus. Farewell my delicious friends. Going to focus on chicken and tuna and eggs for the time being (ground up til mushy, of course). 
I'm hoping that once I get the go-ahead to introduce solids I will be able to feel the restriction. Because honestly? I'm only a month in, and I feel NO restriction. It's frustrating, but not the end of the world. Willpower was never my problem. But I'm so looking forward to that feeling I hear a lot on here when people say "Oh I ate half an egg and was SO STUFFED." This has....not been my experience. 😕
Really hoping that's because my foods are so mushy/soft right now. We shall see. 
Regardless, I'm 100 percent committed. I hear over and over how this tool is the most powerful for about a year, maybe/possibly a wee bit more. I will not sabotage that for the world. 
So - doing my happy dance at 31 pounds down - I'm in a "weight decade" I haven't seen in a very long time. And it only gets better from here! 

I just read @BoredCW's status post and also want to lament the loss of my butt.  Looking at me the side, my back is basically flat from my neck to my knees.  My jeans have lovely fabric folds draping from my backside from lack of filling.
Two days ago, I was sitting on a worn couch at the gym and I could feel the springs and count how many I was sitting on.  Told the Kid and she said she wants to find her childhood alphabet fridge magnets in the basement to spell out words and have me sit on them and do some "butt-braille-reading" 😂

I just read @BoredCW's status post and also want to lament the loss of my butt.  Looking at me the side, my back is basically flat from my neck to my knees.  My jeans have lovely fabric folds draping from my backside from lack of filling.
Two days ago, I was sitting on a worn couch at the gym and I could feel the springs and count how many I was sitting on.  Told the Kid and she said she wants to find her childhood alphabet fridge magnets in the basement to spell out words and have me sit on them and do some "butt-braille-reading" 😂

On the 3 week plateau from hell.. It seems like an endless desert with sand dunes that represent the 1-2 pounds gain then dropped from day to day. Met with my weight loss group tonight and was told its normal. That this is sometimes like a step, plateau then drop, plateau then drop. Only for the plateau's to go on longer the farther away from the surgery date I get. Much like EDM, I can't wait for the drop. 
On top of it all, I lost my ass. Seriously.. its gone. All that cushion that I enjoyed lounging on eating what ever I ate, watching what ever was on the computer or tv... is gone. That glorious support system is vamoosed. I know this because my ass (tailbone) hurts all the time. I'm sitting on bone now and its sore. I am my own literal Pain in the Ass! (My family would say whats new, but who cares about them.. my butt hurts.) I have yet to bring a pillow with me everywhere I go to sit on, but I'm getting ready to as I sit for my job working on computers. So far losing the weight is a Pain. I hope it gets better. 

Looks like I need people around to complete a 10K.  I tried to do one by myself this afternoon and I gave up at around the 7km mark.  Gonna try again on Friday, but I may have to look into joining a running club...

RE: the running/training
Honestly it started with me just doing laps around the kitchen that first post-op week.
In a week, I graduated to walking up and down my street, then to walking around the block every day.
The distance increased, then the speed.
Then I started running little spurts during my walks, then to alternating 1km runs with 1km walks.
And now I can do a continuous 10k (which I totally did for the first time this morning...so full of myself about it today, it’s disgusting.)
Just do something everyday and slowly increase speed and duration, next thing you know you’ll be one of those odd “running people” (who I never understood pre-op, but now totally get, lol)

Yup, I did it! I RAN my SECOND continuous 5K ever this morning! There is an option to do a 10K Sunday morning and I'm going to give it a try. It's basically the 5K twice. Even though this is a girls' trip, I kinda wish Mr. was here so he could witness my awesomeness.
@FluffyChix, no it wasn't on the beach nor was I wearing a bikini, but I think I should get bonus points anyway, just for doing it a second time 😎

Yup, I did it! I RAN my SECOND continuous 5K ever this morning! There is an option to do a 10K Sunday morning and I'm going to give it a try. It's basically the 5K twice. Even though this is a girls' trip, I kinda wish Mr. was here so he could witness my awesomeness.
@FluffyChix, no it wasn't on the beach nor was I wearing a bikini, but I think I should get bonus points anyway, just for doing it a second time 😎

Yup, I did it! I RAN my SECOND continuous 5K ever this morning! There is an option to do a 10K Sunday morning and I'm going to give it a try. It's basically the 5K twice. Even though this is a girls' trip, I kinda wish Mr. was here so he could witness my awesomeness.
@FluffyChix, no it wasn't on the beach nor was I wearing a bikini, but I think I should get bonus points anyway, just for doing it a second time 😎