ms.sss

some people like other people (and some do not). and some people ARE LIKED by other people (and some are not). different strokes. so yeah. but to what sillyKitty is saying, as a woman, its kinda a little sad/unfortunate to hear another woman say "most" women suck. same as if i hear someone saying most (but not) all Canadians suck, or that most (but not all) brown skinned people suck, or that most but not all **___________** suck (fill in the blank with whatever group one would generalize one). i'm sorry you have only/mostly had bad experiences with women. hopefully you meet some good women out there to change your opinion to a more tolerant one. for instance me: i'm DELIGHTFUL. lololololzzzzz.

other things ive eaten this weekend (yeah kinda sad looking, i know 😞) 1) mini butter chicken meat pie & a minced pork and chive bao bun...400 cals for it all, ate ½ the bao and one bite of pie (wasn't very good) 2) ½ a slice of my homemade black truffle bread, 1tbsp strawberry jam, 1 tbsp almond butter: 220 cals, ate it all 3) truffle bread again with 1 tsp butter, 1 tsp olive oil & 1 tbsp balsamic glaze: 120 cals, ate it all. 4) cabbage soup with leftover grilled chicken: 150 cals, ate it all 5) a chocolate-peanut-butter-banana funnel cake monstrosity with a side scoop of vanilla ice cream. i had one single bite of this (sans ice cream), swearsies. i honestly just like ordering food more than i like to eat it. it was split among my dinner companions but most was left on the plate (they had their own desserts to contend with!!)

all the chocolate-peanut butter talk last week got me all excited and i finally dragged myself to grocery to get the ingredients ( 70% dark chocolate chips and peanuts-which i ground to diy peanut butter + some diy confectioners sugar as well) whipped up these sad looking cups but oh so yum...i'm with @Lilia_90 ...dark chocolate for-evah! yeah i ran out of chocolate so one cup was topless lololzzzz ate one...approx 105 cals.

well, i'm sure im not in the minority, but i mean get along with almost everybody (at least i think i do...lol)...the few people (men or women) that don't become my best friend or fun acquaintance at first sight were probably having a bad day...or maybe i was. in any case, i don't dislike an entire gender, species, race, BMI range, hair colour, whatever...thats just unfair, no? when i was working, i also worked in a male dominated field (IT), and i was often the only woman in the room for decades. but i still had (and do) have many female friends, most of whom i've known since grade or high school, and some newer ones i met along the way to old age. all of whom i am forever grateful for as nothing compares to girl time! much like i get more attention from men the thinner i get, i do so with women as well (and kids even). BUT what i have noticed over the years (and actually brought this up with my own Kid on many occasions) is that i seem to be getting alot of positive attention for younger women, like my daughters age (20's) much much more than i did when i was fatter. i am often approached and complimented on my purse, my hair, my nails, my exercise regimen, what i'm eating, how loud i laugh, my car, my singing, my enthusiastic dancing...you name it. the Kid says its because i exude a fun approachable vibe, and Mr. says its because i'm the size of a pre-teen girl and they mistake me as so....hahhahaha.

preach. lolololololzzzz

ok, so not gonna lie, mr. told me years ago he missed my ginormous boobs, i had huge boobs even as a thin thing (i actually got a breast reduction when i was 29 because of chronic back pain (i was like 130 lbs at the time). but even after the breast reduction, they were still pretty ample. then the weight gain started and they became the size of my head (EACH!) lol. mr. was in heaven. fast forward to WLS and the resultant deflated balloons, but Mr. was still satisfied with the "handfuls" he could grope. ....then i had a breast lift, which removed the excess skin and tightened them up all nice and firm (and made them smaller). I LOVE THEM OMG. but Mr. went into a mini-mourning....i'm like a 29C right now, jeez...that still respectable! ...BUT he did say that the re-ingintion of my "adventurism" during sexy times more than makes up for HIS perception of my smaller boobs. plus he has also commented many that my confidence and all around relaxed attitude is GOLD. sooo...long story short. boobs or not, its all in the ATTITUDE.

possibly a controversial comment, but i'll say it anyway: i don't think we are the same people inside after massive weight loss. going through that kind of huge change so quickly, i believe has GOT to have some sort impact on our phscyes. for me at least, i know my confidence increased 100-fold, or to be more precise, i RE-GAINED my confidence from 15 years ago, plus added more for good measure. my personality changed form a do-nothing to a do-everything. my constant irritation, annoyance and exhaustion was replaced with patience, understanding and energizer-bunny level ability. i am NOT the same person i was from my obesity era. and that's a fact. so yeah, OF COURSE others will react to me differently, because i'm DIFFERENT.

my husband met me when i was a smokin' hot, 120lb-23 year old, married me at a decent sized 130lb-30 yr old, was by my side as i worked my way up to a morbidly obese, 235lb-45 yr old, and is surprisingly still around as i am now a 105lb-52 yr old (smokin' hot again, if i say so myself, lol). i say "surprisingly" cuz i'm ALOT. and i know it, lol. the man has the patience of a SAINT for effs sakes (i'm very lucky). while i can't say if my weight loss/gain changed his attraction to me (i mean he'd NEVER say so, and apparently his want for sexy times has not increased nor diminished this entire time...if anything, MY OWN want for sexy times is directly proportional to my weight....the heavier i got, the less interested i was, you know? now i'm like energizer bunny again like my younger days, which i guess Mr. is pleased about, but i digress.) as for attention from others (male and/or female), yes, i know it is also proportional to my weight/looks. but i mean, lets be honest, i get more attention when i'm fitter, because...well, i'm fitter. i am not one of those that get offended because the same person that hit on me now when thin again, didn't when i was fat. that person is psychically attracted to a certain type. and i may or may not fit that bill depending at what point in time you get me. yes, i have a stunning personality, but if i am not physically attractive to you, you may never get to discover that. oh well, that's just how it goes. truth be told, i am much more physically attracted to fit, muscular men (case in point: my Mr. has been a literal FIT SPECIMEN then entire time i've known him). BUT...once that initial attraction is cemented, if a dude turns out to be an un-funny, un-intelligent, boring, DUD, then, well, next. luckily, Mr. has the brain to match the body (I WIN! lol) if a sandwich looked unappealing? would you eat it? most would not. i think the physical attraction is what hooks people, but its the personality/vibe that brings them in. so i guess what i'm saying is that people are people, and we don't need to hang on to perceived offences if it does us no good. accept the compliment, bask in your awesomeness, and move on. (or stay if you want a little fun, ha!)

it took me 4 months (and ~15 lbs) to figure out my maintenance calories were. i also had to get over my fear of gaining all my weight back and actually start eating MORE. maintenance level calories are VERY individual, and vary greatly from person to person. and even then, it varies greatly form time to time for the SAME person. 4-ish months after achieving goal, i finally figured out that i needed 1800 cals a day to stop losing weight... AT THAT TIME. over the years, this amount has changed depending on my activity level. luckily, i am anal and i track my food intake and weight DAILY so i am armed with data to figure out what i need at any point in time. i am 6 years post op now, and these days i need about 2300-2500 to maintain my current weight (i exercise alot). had i continued to stay at 1800 cals from the before days i would have shrunk beyond what i wanted. soooooo....long story short: your maintenance calories will change depending on your output and input, on your sleep patterns, overall health, stress levels, age, genetics, etc....its up to you to notice what affects you and act upon it. so, so, so, so, many times i read folks on here saying "i gained/lost weight and i just don't know why!". the answer is PAY ATTENTION....you will know why. P.S. i do know that "normal" people don't need this level of attention to stay at a healthy weight. i also know that i am NOT a "normal" person. i mean, i got to a BMI of 43 (from BMI 23), in 10 years. it takes more "effort" for me to stay at a healthy weight that a "regular" person. so i do what i am willing to do.

well, i sort of had the opposite issue, as i wouldn't eat enough & and needed a reminder to eat.... but my M.O. would work for you as well i think: i would set a timer on my watch for a certain amount of time (i.e., 2-3 min earlier on, and like 1-2 min as i got further along). i'd take 1-2 BITES of whatever i had prepared for myself, put my fork down, and set the timer, it goes off, i take 1-2 BITES again. rinse and repeat. yes, it took me FOREVER to eat a meal, in the early months: like 60-90 mins omg. after a while (like 3-4 months) i was able to do it without the timer. in your case, if you feel you are eating more and/or faster than you should, i would suggest focusing on putting your fork down, and maybe, if it helps, maybe even physically remove yourself (i.e., walk away) until your timer goes off again. after a few weeks/months, you will form a habit and not need the timer anymore, it will become muscle memory. it may take weeks/months, but if you stick to it, you could totally do it. ❤️

as others have touched on above, it depends on what you call a "normal sized meal". can i eat my "normal sized" pre-wls meal from my obesity heyday? hecks no. but, let's be real, those meals were bigger (and not as often-consumed) as the meal sizes of not-obese people. now...can i eat enough food to maintain my current weight, feel satisfied AND not feel like i'm depriving myself? yecks, YEAH. from the outside and to those not in the know, it probably looks like i don't eat enough, but its enough for ME. my restriction is still very much in effect, so i don't eat alot in VOLUME at one sitting. but i did* manage to get my 2300+ calories in by eating often, and choosing higher calorie foods. (NOTE: i exercise ALOT, so my caloric needs are probably higher for your average 5'2" person, but still) *clarification (and to go off on tangent): i WAS able to do this, but lately am not eating as often - for other reasons** - so my average calorie count has been dropping, but i'm working on it.... ** i got braces and my pure HATRED and annoyance of having to clean my teeth after eating ANYTHING has effectively stopped me from eating. it's in my head, i know. i'm working on it....

why the first time i have ever heard of this procedure! now that i have, i wish i had it done during my traditional tummy tuck as well! i hear ya. arm lift recovery was the WORST. but, i do love the absence of my arm skin flaps, so for me it was worth it...kinda like childbirth, i've blocked it out the trauma/misery from my immediate recall memory. *shudder*

*off to make this*

been on a sugar binge the last couple days. 1) yesterday's afternoon snack: 1 cup of silken tofu with 1 tbsp of maple syrup: 235 cals, ate it all (no dumping effects) 2) yesterday's dinner party's dessert: 64g NY cheesecake with 1 tbsp of salted egg yolk puree: 236 cals for it all, ate about ½ the cake, and all the yolk (dumping effect: fell asleep on couch for 45-60 mins and went to bed early to promptly fall asleep again) 2) todays first food of day (i was lazy AND hungry, ha!): 1 homemade oatmeal cookie my niece made and 1/2 an apple fritter: 265 cals, ate it all (dumping effect: tbd...) mr. always chastises me for eating sugar and asks me why i do it if i know i'll likely be put out of commission...my answer: because its DELICIOUS, and because i CAN (sort of, ha).

mark me down as a cottage cheese lover. always have been. i like to eat it plain, with all kinds of fruit, and/or granola, nuts, seeds, honey. .... i also like it savoury: with black pepper, and/or cayenne, garlic/onion powder, more cheese, cured meats, bacon, anchovies, grilled veggies, balsamic vinegar....ha! (yes, you read that right: anchovies, lol!) i've also used it to substitute some/most of the cream cheese in cheesecakes quite successfully. lowers the calorie level and denseness of the result (but if you like new york style cheesecakes, doesn't really work...) anyway, i could go on and for my cottage cheese love (which i probably already did, ha!)... Cottage Cheese Forever!

ok, i need to see what your mats look like that you can throw in the washer! i can't imagine throwing any of the ones (Manduka Pro 6mm) we have in our washer...they just wouldn't fit i think..and i feel like they'd get damaged?? i wonder if i should try...it would definitely make like a little easier...**off to google*** UPDATE: jeez! just read the lifetime guarantee conditions of my mat and it says i SHOULN'T use vinegar based cleaners NOR soak in bathtub. OOPS! Though it does say i should use THIER propiertary cleaner which is just distilled water and lemongrass essential oil....sounds like a cash grab to me...

i too watch tv alot of the time while i'm eating at home. oddly enough, i tend to eat more when i'm at a proper table (and sitting with others). when i'm in front of the tv, i have a finite amount of food that i have with me, when its done, its done (if i finish it), when i'm at a table with others, there is a whole lotta other food going on, with more added as the time goes on at said table. and i'll keep taking bites as my stomach allows. 🤷🏻‍♀️

speaking of thighs...while MY thighs look nice while standing up, they dont look the greatest from an aerial view when im laying down cuz my excess butt skin gets flattened and seeps to the sides, which merges into my upper thigh area. here is me channeling my favourite melted barbie meme. (i forced mr. to take me pic...he was mortified lololololzzz)

i use a diy spray (1 part distilled white vinegar, 3 parts filtered water and and several drops of tue essential oil du jour...currently it's peppermint)...fill up a spray bottle and bring with me and some disposable "dry" wet wipes. i spray (both sides) of mat when done and wipe down. then once a week i soak it in the bathtub with some dawn dishwashing soap and warm water for an hour and dry (first with a towel and then hang). BUT i use my mat 2-3 times a day every day. 80% of the time doing hot yoga so my mat gets pretty sweat soaked. also...this is the first time ive heard of putting a mat in the washing machine!. i looked up the care instructions for the ones i have and none say i should do that? maybe because mine are on the thicker/heavier side?

hi again, the article you quoted is a good resource to share with your medical team. if you are suffering from the same symptoms outlined in said article is *should* be pretty clear that you will need intervention. now you didn't mention frequent vomiting, but i'm going to assume this is an issue as you referenced the article, yes? run, do not walk, to your emergency room if your organs are failing. insurance coverage will be a non-issue as organ failure would be classified under emergent care! seriously, we are talking life or death, man. i get that you are looking for support, but really, what you describe requires PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL support that is waaaaay beyond the scope of these public forums. please take care.

kinda the same here, i guess: therapists can be licensed by going to college and getting an undergraduate diploma, while psychiatrists are university educated getting a degree, plus further post secondary studies and degree(s)...the get the "doctor" designation. main diff in services provided as i see it is that the latter can prescribe meds while the former cannot, everything else seems the same/similar. note aside: i think "college" has a different meaning in Canada vs. the US....in the US, i believe colleges are just as prestigious/difficult to get into as universities, yes? up here, "colleges" are more like a hands-on/trade type institutions of learning, that have lower requirements for acceptance. the instructors at colleges have less education backgrounds than the professors at universities. its (much, much) cheaper to go to college here than university and the diplomas granted take less time to achieve than the degrees granted at universities. is the education "better" at universities? honestly, i dunno...but it looks better on resumes. 🤷🏻‍♀️

hmmm...maybe because CAMH is high demand/high level cases? 🤷🏻‍♀️ back in 2016 i was able to get an appt with one at Markham-Stouffville hosptial within 1 week of refferal. last year, my daughter was able to get an appt with Mackenzie Health (in Richmond Hill) within a month...and this location is probably the CAMH equivalent in york region (my words, not anyone elses! lol) neither of us would i consider to be one of the "most severe cases of mental health" (but we did each get a referral from our family doc). anyway, maybe check it out...IF YOU WANT TO...i don't want to come off as pressuring you to do something you don't really want to do! whatever you decide to do (or even if you don't do anything at all), hope you find a way to get some peace.

sushi takeout for a super late lunch (actually this first meal of day...got distracted by errands and realized we were hungry at like 3pm...oopsies (1) the takeout box - so pretty, right? (2) my before and after (3) calorie count: 261 cals for all of it, ate almost all of it!...also had an espresso martini beforehand (146 cals) and almost ½ a chocolate dip donut afterwards (95 cals)...so approx 502 calories for what i just ate/drank.

i NEED to know what exactly the eggs are sitting atop of???? some sort of mille-feuille concoction?? or a layered potato??? either way: YUMMER!!!

to this question: i was told to have 3 protein shakes a day for two weeks (and that was all). that said, i HATED the protein shakes they told me to drink (too sweet, omg), so i maybe had 2 shakes a day for the first maybe 8 days, then went down to 1 shake a day until the end. (btw, after surgery, i found a less sweet protein shake, thank goodness).