notmyname

So, I am going to preface this with the fact that I know I am not typical. The stats show that most people don't have complications. I'm the only person I've met from my doctor's office that had complications. So, please know this is just one person's story. I feel like you asked if anyone regrets this, and I don't want you to think that nobody does. BUT, linked below is a good thread to read to remind yourself that even though there are people like me out there, there are a LOT of people (likely the vast majority) who have had a good experience with WLS. So, good luck. I had surgery in October 2018. If asked today if I'd do it again, I'd be a no. But I know that can change tomorrow. And my doc and nurse say that how I feel is not forever. But, about 2 months ago (so about 3 months post-op), after a REALLY easy first 2 months, I started getting more reflux and more nauseated by the day. I could deal with the reflux, but I HATE being nauseous. And I feel like I spent all of my energy trying not to throw up. I wwas nauseated about 90% of my day every day. I felt SO much worse than I did before and I cried every day. The doc took me off two meds, put me on a new reflux med, and I'm feeling a lot better. But I still get nauseous whenever I eat. I can eat less today than I could when I started solids 4 months ago. I can hardly drink because I'm so nauseous, and I can't drink within 1.5-2 hours of eating because I hurt so much. The doc and nurse said they'll work on figuring all out. That said, I'm not in a position where I feel like I believe her. I regret this mightily. I've even lost a significant amount of weight (over 100 total, 80 since surgery, 64% of EWL), and it is still not worth it. I broke down crying at my therapy group a few weeks ago. At this point, my team has no idea why I'm nauseated. And they are concerned enough about malnutrition and dehydration to be monitoring me closely to see if I need a PICC line. I did this to feel better - and I feel a lot worse.

I will add - one problem I've found is that I'm losing a LOT faster in the hips/legs than in the waist. So a lot of my old smaller clothes just don't fit correctly. They fit in the waist and are unbearably baggy in the butt/legs. So, I'm just getting used to that. I think I still have a plus-sized waist, but normal sized legs.

I've been giving my old clothes away. Casual stuff to Goodwill/Salvation Army type of places. Work clothes to a local chairty that helps women transition from homelessness by providing work skills, interviewing practice, and professional clothes for interviews and work. They always desperately need plus size clothes. For the most part, I just wore my old dresses with belts. I also bought a pair of jeans in every size down when there were on super sale at Lane Bryant or Old Navy. I'm now at a point where I can't really fit my old clothes, so I bought some staples (T-shirts, sweaters, etc) on sale at Old Navy and went to the outlet mall and bought some work clothes on sale there. I did buy one full price suit at Macy's because I had an event where I needed to actually look nice.

I'm a pescatarian. Not a problem at all. Liquid phase I did protein drinks, milk (fairlife has more protein), and yogurt (watered down). For the pureed food stages, I did pureed black beans (reheated with a bit of cheese on top), pureed egg salad (2 hard boiled eggs and either avocado or 1 TBL may and 1 TBL yogurt), and eggface's ricotta bake. For the beginning of soft food, I found Tilapia worked really well. And eggs (although note that a lot of folks don't tolerate eggs well) For regular foods, shrimp works really well because it can easily be made into small portions. I also sometimes do a tuna casserole that is basically a can of tuna and some homemade cheddar cheese sauce. It lasts me at least 3 meals. More now, but that's because I haven't been feeling well.

Also on the ricotta bake, sometimes I add a small spoonful of pesto - delicious! Or some pureed sweet potatoes. Sounds weird, but very good. It also freezes well. Just wet a paper towel and cover it when you reheat it in the microwave to keep it moist. Or add a touch of milk to it.

I've been buying myself jewelry at specific intervals along the way (50#/75#/60% EWL loss, etc) - mostly not expensive, but I have my eyes on something really nice for 100# down.

If you do dairy, my favorite was Eggface's ricotta bake. I'd often saute a bit of spinach and do a layer of ricotta, a layer of spinach, and then the rest of the ricotta. I make it in small muffin/tiny bread pans, so each one was a serving. http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/2007/08/pureed-foods.html I also made a (small) pot of black beans, then pureed them with a bit of broth. Froze them in 1/2c. servings. Heated them up with a bit of cheese on top. If you can stand some heat, you can also add a bit of salsa. If you'll eat eggs, egg salad is easy. Just puree it instead of rough chop. 2 hard boiled eggs with either some mashed avocado or 1TBL greek yogurt and 1 TBL mayo. I did really well with soft scrambled eggs, but some people don't. Greek yogurt (look for high protein/low sugar like Oikos Triple 0) Added: as a treat, I also do hot cocoa - 1cup fairlife milk (13g protein), 1 TBL unsweetened cocoa, 1 packet artificial sweetener, 1 drop of vanilla (and sometimes a drop of peppermint extract)

I haven't dated in YEARS. I met someone I'm really interested in and our mutual activity ends tomorrow. Basically, he was standing outside alone before lunch and I went up to him and said something to the effect of “I’m going to make an ass of myself, but if you'd like to do something after all of this is over, give me a call.” He graciously said thanks and that he’d see me tomorrow. He was pretty cool about it all (although we'll see how awkward tomorrow is). Pretty sure he won’t call, but that’s ok. Just proud that I did it. I haven't been that forward with a guy since high school. In some ways, its better if he doesn't call - I'd be like the dog that actually catches her tail - what the heck would I do next. I've been out of the game for at least a decade at this point! But, in the end, I actually feel good that I did it, even if nothing comes of it.

bariatric foodie has some easy recipe. I highly recommend ricotta bake (google "eggface ricotta bake") - super easy and tasty. Sometimes I add some sauteed spinach or a spoon of pesto. If you like shrimp, it is super easy and tasty. Defrost a few, add a bit of oil or butter to a pan over medium heat, and saute for a few minutes until they're pink. You can add some spices. I like cajun seasoning (if you can deal with heat), or italian seasoning. Added: this is super easy, don't even need to defrost the fish: https://www.bariatricfoodie.com/one-pan-cooking-tilapia-fire-roasted-tomato-sauce/ But, one fish fillet will serve me three times, and I don't eat thawed fish more than two days after it thaws, so I often have to toss some fish. Also really like egg salad - just 2 hard boiled eggs, masked with either a bit of ripe avocado or 1 TBL mayo and 1 TBL greek yogurt.

Took me 50# to drop a size. So, it took me about 75 before people started noticing. Which is just fine with me. Now I'm losing sizes more quickly. I've also basically stayed in my same work dresses, so you can't really see the loss. I've been out of the office on jury duty for about a month and I'll have lost about 20# in that time and needed to finally buy a few new work clothes, so it'll be interesting to see if anyone says anything when I go back.

Short lived victory. A friend was talking to him today and he said something about "we're buying a house". She asked a few probing questions and dragged out of him (her words, not mine) that he's married with a kid. No ring. In the several weeks we've been together every day for the activity, he's never mentioned a wife or kid. Oh well, so I made an ass of myself. At least he was cool about it. Although I wish HE'd just told me about the wife.

For me, I've lost 75 since surgery (59.5% EWL - so pretty much the average total loss with the sleeve in 4.5 months), 89 since pre-op diet. I did it because I was concerned that I was starting to have some health complications (pre-diabetic, joint problems, generally hard to get around and travel). And it still wasn't worth it at this point for me. I would 100% go back and not do it if I knew then what I know now. I feel SO much worse now than I did before the surgery - even with the weight loss. I feel a bit like I've ruined my life. BUT for other people contemplating surgery, it's worth noting that the people who tend to post for support are the people who have problems - the people who are out there happily living their lives generally don't post that all is well. So, its best to have candid conversations with your doctor, read the research, and decide for yourself, not based on anecdotes on the internet.

Thanks. I have an appointment in a couple weeks and will talk to my doc.

Before surgery. No H pylori. Two docs from different practices looked at my endoscopy results and were comfortable with the sleeve I feel a bit better now. On new meds. But I also eat VERY little. Getting half the protein I need ( and only eat protein) because if I eat more I get super sick still. So different from my first two months after surgery. But, I’ll take dizzy and lightheaded over nauseated any day of the week.

I'm really closer to 4 months (my surgery was 10/29) and, honestly, I wish I hadn't done it. First two months were great - felt good, eating/drinking was going fine, etc. Around month 3, the reflux started and slowly worsened. About a month ago, I started to get nauseated. Now I'm nauseated all the f'ing time. I eat less now than I did two months ago because I'm sick all the time. Sure, I've lost roughly 88 total, 80 since pre-op, and 66 since surgery (52% EWL). And it still is NOT worth it. Upper GI showed a small hernia, but no reflux. And they have no idea why I'm nauseated. On new reflux meds and nausea meds - hope they'll kick in soon. Doc says he wants to convert to bypass, but if they don't really know what is wrong, and they're worried about malnutrition already, and they can't really say if bypass will get rid of the nausea, then why would I do that? And all of this ignores that going to the bathroom is a struggle. Ugh. I am so stupid to have done this to myself.

I've gone to two. One was my hospital's support group. Totally not my scene. a TON of people and basically everyone just talks over each other. One person will ask a question, 10 people will start answering at once loudly. Then in another part of the room other people will ask questions and several people will answer them. Total f'ing chaos. It makes me so stressed out the last time I went I was sick to my stomach from the stress. I also go to a weight loss clinic run by an endocrinologist with therapists, nutritionists, and exercise people on staff. They have a lot of different weight loss support groups run by the therapists (ranging from just practical how-to to very deep psychological things). They've recently started a bariatric support group. So far, I'm liking that one. It is much smaller (maybe 10 people), run by two therapists who specialize in weight loss/bariatric issues. I also find that this group has more folks who are longer term patients and talk about the real pitfalls of surgery (I suspect it is a self-selecting group - since you have to pay and they're part of the overall weight loss practice, I suspect it is more likely than a general WLS support group to have people who have had problems). The therapists come ready to talk about an issue, but if the group needs to discuss something else, we do that. I wonder if you could try to start a meet-up group just to talk to other patients in your area. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time, and I know it is hard with noone to talk to.

We had surgery around the same time (edited to clarify - I had the sleeve) and I've been feeling the same way. I'm sorry for all you're going through. I am getting more reflux and more nauseated by the day. I could deal with the reflux, but I HATE being nauseous. And I feel like I spend all of my energy trying not to throw up. I am nauseated about 90% of my day every day. I feel SO much worse than I did before. I cry every day. I can eat less today than I could when I started solids 3 months ago. I can hardly drink because I'm so nauseous, and I can't drink within 1.5-2 hours of eating because I hurt so much. The couple times I've talked to my nurse (mostly crying), she's told me that I need to remember that "this is not my life." They said they'll work on figuring all out. That said, I'm not in a position where I feel like I believe her. I regret this mightily. I've even lost a significant amount of weight, and it is still not worth it. I broke down crying at my therapy group this weekend. So, not much help - but just know that you're not alone. I'm trying to look through the fog to see that maybe I'll feel better one day. Because that's what I have to try to believe since this isn't reversible. Their current proposal is to convert to bypass, even though they're not sure what's wrong other than a hernia. Um, no thanks - you have no idea why I'm nauseated. And they are concerned enough about malnutrition and dehydration to be monitoring me closely to see if I need a PICC line. So, if they don't know what is causing the nausea, and the bypass doesn't fix it and I continue to be nauseous, then I really will be malnourished between the inability to eat and the malabsorption caused by the bypass. Nope. No thank you, ma'am.

I just want to cry. Scratch that, i have cried. Today is 4 months since surgery (sort of, since I had surgery 10/29). I had a great first two months. Felt good, everything was going smoothly. Then the acid reflux started. A bit at first, then worse, even on 2 Nexium a day. OK, I could handle that. Then, about a month ago, the nausea started. I just can't deal with it. Seems to be getting worse every day. I feel worse now than I ever did before surgery. I can eat less now than when I started on solid foods. This is the first time I haven't been able to hit my protein goals since day 3 after surgery. I even have trouble getting in all of my liquids because I can't drink for forever after eating (maybe 1.5-2 hours). And I have to eat All.The.Time because I can eat so little at a time now. I'm doing my best, but the nurse is starting to worry they need to put in a PICC line to get fluids/nutrition in (luckily, she told me today she doesn't think that is necessary yet. Had an upper GI. They found a hernia, but saw no GERD. I got a hold of my doc's nurse. She'd talked to my doc. They don't really know what is causing it. She said they could do an endoscopy, but that he thinks he won't really find anything new. And he doesn't want to repair the hernia (again) until I lose more weight. Doc apparently wants to revise to bypass. But, for a number of reasons, I don't. Particularly since they don't really know what's wrong and can't tell me the bypass will help. I mean, I can barely eat now - and if bypass doesn't fix it I'll be even more malnourished than I am now. So, for now, he's prescribed a different reflux med, given me anti-nausea meds, and OK'ed me to lower my protein goals (protein supplements REALLY make me sick). my nurse keeps telling me that this isn't the rest of my life and they'll figure it out. But, I'm still worried and frustrated and sick as a dog. I'm not really looking for suggestions, or reasons I'm wrong not to want the bypass. My two close friends are having family emergencies and I don't want to burden them now. So I just need a space to let it out. Thanks. And really glad I have an appointment with my therapist on Tuesday.

Thanks. It's a hiatal hernia, so at the opening to the diaphram. I had one that they fixed during surgery. Nurse said if they're going to fix it, they'd like to wait until I lose more weight to lessen the liklihood of recurrence. For now, they're switching my reflux meds and monitoring my food/liquid intake - both of which have gone way down due to the nausea.

I'm 4 months out. I prep when I can, but I also have things I can grab and eat - I just make sure they're healthy. I still can't eat that much, but some things I have on hand that serve as a meal in a pinch: Sargento balanced breaks (it has cheese and nuts and cranberries. Not terribly expensive at Costco) Parm chips and a cup of hummus A babybel cheese and an oz of almonds If you like tofu, I buy those baked/flavored tofus - I just cut up one serving and eat it cold. Cup of yogurt I also always have some frozen single-serving ricotta bakes and cooked beans in the freezer. I'll make a double batch of the ricotta bake, which is 8 servings, and freeze at least half. I also have a mini-freezer in my garage that I can use in a pinch (which I had from meal prep before I had surgery).

My instructions were to take MOM “if needed”, but they didn’t say what that meant. And the 1.5 hour toilet episode was after taking MOM. otherwise nothing was moving at all. :(

Yep - my doc consistently told me that the average weight loss is 60% EWL and that if I follow the plan, that's what I could expect. On another thread where people were discussing their goal weights - I said that this was mine and that I don't want to set myself up to feel like a failure. I'm pretty appreciative that my doc is conservative in his estimates. And some other WLS patients on these boards were kind of jerks about it. Saying that by setting of goal of average I was assuming I'd fail and still be obese and why was I even doing it. Even though I'm about 10 lbs from the 60% EWL at 4 months out, so likely to exceed that, I'm still thankful for my doc setting expectation. I'd rather under-promise and over-deliver. Because I know that if I did only achieve the average weight loss, and I'd expected/hoped for more, I would feel like a failure. And that would be very bad for my mental state. Plus, I had to judge whether or not to have surgery based on the most conservative outcomes - would I still be glad I went through it if I was still slightly obese? Yep - because I will still have lost a significant amount of weight that I couldn't have lost without this tool. And, overall, it will make me more healthy, even if I don't get to a "healthy" weight.

Thanks! I'll give it a try.

For me it is really easy, even though I used to drink 4-5 glasses of water with my meals. The only time it is hard is when I don't control/know what my schedule is. For example, for the past 2 weeks, I've been on jury duty. We have two 15 minute breaks and an hour for lunch. But the court decides when they are every day. So I never know when to stop drinking so that I can have my lunch/afternoon snack. Lunch is easier, because if we go early and I need to wait, I just wait until the 2nd half of the lunch hour. Snack is harder because sometimes we go at 2:30, sometimes at 4. And there's no way to know.

Thanks all. Radiologist said I have a hernia. Again. I'm stuck in jury duty all day without a phone. So I've been playing phone tag with my doctor's nurse. And, given our schedules, this may be an issues until my jury duty ends - in 3 more weeks. Ugh. I am so tired of feeling like crap.