jo ann c troupe

Wow fancy not wanting you to have surgery. Pleased you’re loving life. I think I would too if I lived in Florida. Very jealous

Best wishes on a safe effective procedure and a speedy recovery:) Good luck!

Wow. Sorry to hear that the surgery was cause for a break-up. It can definitely put some strain on relationships. But good for you on going through with it. I was a nervous wreck in the final week as well, but so happy I did it. Lot of support and info on here so welcome to the club. Good luck to you on your journey!

Wanted to say hey and introduce myself!! My name is Jason, I’m 34 and live in Florida. I am having the gastric sleeve on Wednesday and I’m super excited and nervous. I was in a long term relationship and we broke up because she didn’t want me to have the surgery. I’m single, loving life, and excited for the new chapter in my life!! Love to chat with some of you all to help form a support group!! 

You have the right idea! I just decided to do something I enjoy like doing karaoke. I don’t drink really never have much so is all about talking to people and having fun singing lol. I am not trying to meet anyone per say so having fun talking does not bring pressure.






Lapband 9/11/07 227 pounds
Vsg 2/13/18
Pre op diet 188
Sd. 180
Cw 169 167 per Dr. scale
First goal 169 2/26/18
Second 150
Goal weight 138

Hey girlie, I'm sorry for being a ginormous tool. In the end, the only opinion that counts is your own. You DO know best where you are in this continuum. You know? And loneliness and loss SUCK the big one!
I guess I just answered from my own personal experience before Mr. F. came into my life. And like in AA and similar programs, the kinda forbid you to make major life changing decisions or get into a relationship while you are walking your steps--because of transference. And knowing how I will escape processing tough things by "getting busy" with other things...well, your post was a perfect storm just waiting for me to pontificate.
Of course, I am also in Day 4 of the liquid diet so there is a good deal of the bat **** crazies going down round these parts. Not to mention a big serving of Hanger. LOL.

2

For 18 years. Yes.
Your new normal that I'm referring to is the march toward WLS. It began in the 6 month to a year when you started your pre-surgery requirements and really had to face redefining your relationship with food and obesity. That's what I'm talking about.
And, there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with wanting a partner-in-crime in this process. I'm just saying that what you want now, may be vastly different once you are done. Am I wrong in thinking that you only just had surgery 12.11.17? That's only 6-8 weeks ago. It's hard enough sustaining a long-term relationship through the turbulent waters of WL. I'd imagine it would be infinitely more difficult to do it in a new relationship?

I appreciate your wisdom
But..
I already love myself. like a lot
and I've been living my "new normal" for over three years now
I hear what you're saying though
My focus is on my body and this new venture. I don't think there is anything wrong with someone wanting to have a person to share it with. Maybe your'e right. I'll think on it..
Are you married, do you have a boyfriend?

Ok, so I get your loneliness. ((hugs)) So sorry to hear about your loss. But just an observation and (critical thinking as it applies to me)...sometimes to obfuscate my reality, I tear off on tangents. And what happens is that my tangents become time/energy sinks. They suck out all the focus and energy I should be applying to processing and dealing with my present reality. You know?
So what I think is happening now is GINORMOUS for you. You are literally building the chrysalis for a rebirth/transformation. And you've NO idea what you will be like, what your needs will be, and who you are--because this process is truly transformative. In all areas: physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Why not for now, suck it up on the loneliness scene. (Not meaning to be unfeeling--this is how I reason things out for me personally too...) And the big payout is that by deferring this need for love/friendship/companionship--you can work your ass off to develop a new you. Join groups, go do group activities and be your sweet self. And improve. Your main focus is on maximizing your golden shot at rebirth. Right? Then...when the dust settles, THEN you can decide who you are, and more importantly--who you want. Your options sadly, WILL be broader. You are beautiful now. But you will have a much broader beauty-appeal in the future.
Does this sound heartless? I don't mean to be a tool. I'm just saying, concentrate on working your plan and on loving yourself then you will become invincible and unsinkable and such a strong warrior spirit!!

The only way I've found to meet people is to -- well -- get out and meet people. There are lots of ways to meet people -- it takes a bit of trial and error to find which ones work for you. For example; I'm not religious so meeting people at church functions wouldn't work for me but it may work for you. Best of luck.

Any chance of meeting someone at a support group

I may part time in the future, but I would rather not say here

Can I gently ask why you don't work?

I want someone to laugh with, work out with, who "gets" my whole WLS excitment..
I guess I am wanting companionship. But from whom? Right. We don't want any stray cat, right?
A guy who is nice, obviously, who laughs and will make me laugh, someone who works, and who understands that I don't. Someone who is a christian and who will handle that I am a widow
I am excited to date again. It's been 3 years and I am 39 years old. I still have a lot of life left. I don't want someone with all the right lines and I don't have to really be won over.
I like romance and chivarly is nice but I'm more impressed with honesty and transparency
I'm honest, have been described as habitually honesty, which I take pride in
But I'm very imperfect and I'm not high maintence. I just want someone to get excited with, about the little things, a thunderstorm, weight loss dropping pounds.
Someone too serious, a complete turnoff
I ant someone free to be themselves. No put ons
Is that too much to ask?

Joanna

How does that work?

I meet people online and tell them I had wright loss surgery.

Yeah i don't tell them about my loose skin but after weight loss I have a harder time finding a date than I did before so.

Ok, funny story. So my first boyfriend did just this. I had just met him, and we weren't going out, but somehow the fact that he had a "vienna sausage" came up in conversation. I was a virgin, so that was an appealing characteristic! Lol!

Men never admit they have small penises up front or say anything about their shortcomings when naked. Why should I handicap myself when men don't.
I've never had a man be like oh girl let me warn you, I don't have a 6 pack!
I don't disclose anything about loose skin and no one has ever commented on it once. I don't hide the fact I have lost weight, but men I date don't even ask me about it or care. They know I'm active.
I've lost a lot of weight. Even though I look good in clothes, you can look at me and tell I used to be fat. The arms are a dead give away. They already know what they are getting into before I take my clothes off.

I can't get a date, but if I could, I intended to tell them I lost a lot of weight. Perhaps they will or will not know about loose skin. When the time comes to reveal it, I guess I will find out then if it will be a problem. I figure if they get to know me first, it may not be a deal breaker later.

Great way to be upfront about it! At least you know you won't be wasting your time.

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I am 15 months post op but had lost a lot of weight before my surgery. Since I am doing mostly mostly online dating I tell them before we meet. I also tell them about my physical limitations because of the 4 bulging discs and that I am 60 years old. If they can't deal with these issues I'd rather know before we meet. I too am interested in knowing what others have to say about this topic.

So I'll be having rny Monday but already anticipating loose skin, with that being said how do you deal with access skin and dating in relationships??
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Perhaps look to your interests to meet someone, if you enjoy reading join a mixed group book club, enjoy gardening join a garden club, volunteer somewhere, join an activity club, a choir, dancing classes, art classes etc,

I've never used Tinder. But I have tried Plenty of Fish it was just a bunch of wanna hookup messages on there. I'm in Western Canada..but thank you for the advice.

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