Boldilocks

It is always the same with me - I need more anaesthesia and more pain relief. It was a nurse who alerted me to the redhead thing when I was having my 1st c-section. I had to have 4 epidurals, and none of them worked!! This is why I'm really irritated with my surgeon for refusing to prescribe any pain meds for me. Oh well, this too shall pass. I am from Northern Ireland - it means I get to carry two passports, LOL.

That is (pun intended) insane! I can't believe they made you do all that - though obviously you had a good outcome. Mine was 10 minutes, and about 5 generic questions checked off a list.

Yeah - pretty easily in fact. I know that it'll be when I eat food that I'll feel restriction, but it is a little worrying that I seem to be able to glug fluids back without any problems.

I have definitely been up and moving a lot, as well as taking my gas-ex, and getting in more than 64 oz of fluids a day. I am typically a slow healer from surgery, and I've been here before. There has been research to show that redheads with pale skin do need more medication - it's been true for me with past surgeries and at the dentist. But if my Dr doesn't believe me, there isn't much I can do. If I was drug-seeking, I could think of easier ways to do it than go through an intensive 6 month programme and then have a major organ cut out...

Oh don't worry - I'm on to any of that. Right now it behooves me to receive his overtures as genuine as they are private, not public, and I benefit. But I'm always ready to shut any of his bullshit down!

He just said to use Tylenol, and that in 15 years of practice he had never had anyone need more than that. Then he said that if I wanted to, I could alternate with Ibuprofen. I said that I thought I wasn't supposed to take that, and he said that I could take it if he said it was ok to take it. It's fine when I'm still - but it's when I try to turn over in bed, or go from sitting to standing or sitting to lying that it hurts. It's not just the incision sites, but it feels like a clamp around my diaphragm and I can't breathe deeply. To be honest, it feels just like when I had my c-sections - and I was given meds for those! It never occured to me that I'd have a major organ extracted and not receive pain meds.

Hi everyone - sorry, didn't mean to leave you all in suspense! I got home last night and didn't have a good night and day with the pain. And my surgeon refused to give me any pain meds until my husband rang and gave him hard time. Then he gave me a 1 day script for Tramadol. So, my husband. He surprised me. I sent him the text shortly after the surgery letting him know where I was and that I had left more info for him in the kitchen. He said that he understood why I had't told him, and that he didn't blame me. He was very supportive - but said that he probably wouldn't have been if he'd known beforehand. He brought the girls to visit as soon as he got off work on Tuesday, and they stayed for 3 hours. He asked lots of questions and was reading some of the packet I left him. He was there to pick me up right on time on Wednesday and said that he'd been up late reading up on it and wanted to know if I had a menu or anything he could look at so he could help. He brought Dunkin Donuts coffee and munchkins for the nurses like I asked, because they were so wonderful to me. He called the out of hours doctor and got him to make my surgeon call back as I mentioned. He was really pissed they didn't give me better meds - I really was in a lot of pain. He has been supportive at the end, and that's good enough. He says that I definitely have made the right decision, and that I was very brave.

Out of surgery amd it went !ell.

Thank you all so much. I feel very supported here. Am at the hospital now - just getting ready to do my IV.

Just wanted to update: It's the night before - still haven't told him. I might try before I go to bed, but if I don't my plan is all in place. I printed out a whole packet for him - a letter from me with my reasons for doing it and not telling him, a NY Times article stating all the health benefits, an article from the American Society for Metabolic & Bariatric surgery citing the safety statistics, a blog article from someone about the process of deciding to get it and how we want family members to react, a graphic showing all the health benefits, and a short article about this surgery and its benefits for PCOS specifically. I will leave the packert for him to see when he gets home from work tomorrow, and I will write a text beforehand to him, and schedule it to send during surgery to briefly say I'm there, what I had done, could he read the stuff I left him and bring the kids to see me. The kids are ready to kick up a stink if he won't bring them. The eldest says she's going to tell him that she'll have to see the school counsellor about it because she's so upset, and tell her that her dad won't take her to see her mum in hospital, LOL. I should clarify - my husband is a therapist himself (I know, I know - huge LOL), so he hates the idea of them talking to other therapists and making him look bad. My best friend messaged me yesterday and told me that she has taken the day off work and would be here at 5.30am to take me to the hospital. I am very blessed in my friends and my kids. I'm a bag of nerves now. Have my bag all packed and am about to take a shower.

I drink 2 or 3 full (64 oz) pots of tea a day. Tea-tea, not fruit tea. I have it sent from Ireland because American tea doesn't taste the same. Ireland has the highest tea consumption per capita in the world, we know our tea. I only use 1 teabag in the whole pot, though, so it's very weak - and a little splash of skim milk. I plan on drinking tea right as soon as I get home from the hospital (I had my mum send e some decaf of my usual brand) - it's my comfort.

From Ireland, now living in Upstate NY (between Albany and Syracuse).

Thank you for starting this - I loved reading about everyone. So many wonderful, interesting, and (most importantly) kind, people in one place! I'm 42, from Ireland and now living in Upstate NY. Hope to move back home in about 4 years. Mum to two girls, aged 12 and 11. I'm a knitwear designer - I write knitting patterns for publication in books, magazines, online, and on my website (my avatar is one of my designs). I also work part time outside the home, otherwise I would never leave it (bit of an introvert. OK, a lot of an introvert). I work for our county's Domestic Violence programme running a supervised vsitation centre so that kids can have court ordered visitation with the offending parent can be in a safe environment. I am mad about knitting (obvs), Doctor Who (have seen every episode since 1963), Victorian literature, squirrels, Scrabble, tea, tennis, and football (soccer to you here - lifelong Liverpool FC fan).

They gave me my date 3 months into the 6 month prgram and must have just assumed that everything would go to the timeline. I'd maybe be proactive and call your surgeon's office and give them a date range that would work, or a date that they could do if after if you're waiting until the summer. My approval letter was valid for 6 months, so there is some leeway I think.

Thanks for asking! Physically, I'm fine. Mentally, I'm getting nervous and anxious due to the weirdness of my home situation and my husband not knowing about the surgery. Eek. My daughters are my cheerleaders though. Looking forward to being on the other side, as I'm sure you are!

Well it looks great - very inventive of you! As a knitwear designer, it gave me some ideas. I get more excited about knitting than men, LOL - you can resume your dating talk! 🤣

Did you knit the pot cover? I didn't even know lace knitted pot covers were a thing - I love it!

How are you feeling today?

It took exactly one week for UHC to approve me - good luck!

I'd definitely give the Zicam a go as Frustr8 says, and maybe Airborne or EmergenC. My surgery is Feb 5th and I am so paranoid about getting sick beforehand!

Still haven't told him. 😬 There is truly nothing he can do to stop it at this point as my insurance approval letter came through yesterday, so I'm trying to unpack why I'm so reluctant. I think it's in part because I hate difficult conversations and confrontation. I have put off telling him other things for months too because I didn't want an argument - like when I booked flights for me and the girls to go home in Feb and didn't tell him until June. Or when my mum was coming to stay for 6 weeks and I didn't tell him at all, just went and picked her up at the airport and showed up with her. Or last year when I ordered new sofas and didn't tell him and they were just there one day when he got home, LOL. We get along OK as long as its not something that affects his life too much - but if it is, then everything's an argument. I'm not a pushover - I just go ahead and do what I wanted to do anyway, but I don't like to have the verbal altercation. It's very draining to me. The other part, I think, is because he has body shamed me quite a bit in the past, though I have develped a thick skin about it and it lost its effectiveness. And I was always so embarrassed about my weight that it would never be mentioned. It's really, really hard to go to all these appointmnets where everyone in the waiting room is fat, the dr is prodding your belly, and you are being weighed constantly. I feel very vulnerable and exposed, and I think that I'm worried that his negativity will get in my head again. And really, I just have no idea how to bring it up and start the conversation. Thank you everyone who has replied to this - I'm not usually a self-absorbed person, but writing it out has helped me gain some insights. It is truly touching how supportive and non-judgemental the people on this forum are. And hopefully now it's all out there, if someone else is in a predicament like this they will be able to search and find this. I will update on this thread through next week.

Thanks for all your replies! I'm not going to worry about a sleep study or CPAP at this point. My surgery is in 6 days, and I'm hoping that this is one of the health issues that will resolve with it.

This was never brought up at all through any of my journey. Did the rest of you have to do this?

I have booked 4 weeks off, and some have said that is too much, but I'm comfortable with that. I have had 3 previous surgeries, and have been a slow healer for all of them. My surgeon's office issues a work letter going out for 6 weeks, as standard. They say I can call and get a letter saying I am fit to return if I want to go back before that. I run a supervised visitation centre for domestic abusers to have court ordered visits with their kids. I can't leave the room, they have to be supervised at all times - so if I was ill, nauseous, had diarrhoea or dumping, it would be bad. Also, the nearest bathroom is 2 floors away. I'd rather be home as I recover and get through those first weeks of fatigue and weirdness, and get used to my new body and new limitations. I agree with @KimTriesRNY to take as much time as you are able to take.

My psych eval was a 10 minute chat. He checked off about 5 boxes and that was it - cleared.