Headhunter

Right or wrong, guys like to flirt a little bit. I'm not sure you should hold the first "cheating" incident against him, because as you put it, you had just started dating, and probably were not "exclusive" yet. Some may disagree, but "cheating" within the first couple of weeks of a non-committed relationship, I think, carries a little different weight than cheating from within the bonds of marriage. He's married now, has a beautiful wife (you are, you know!), beautiful kids, and he is probably just doing a little harmless flirting. LOTS of guys do that, and it is almost always harmless. BUT.....it IS bothering you, so you really need to talk to him about it. TELL him it bothers you, and ask him to stop it. If he's a decent man, then he will. If he doesn't, then you need to go a step further. Counseling, perhaps, but you need to take it one step at a time....give him the opportunity to correct the behavior that is troubling to you. I know that you probably feel very vulnerable at the moment; you have some weight to lose, you have 2 kids (which means a lot of work for you), and of COURSE some college hotty is gonna make you a little nervous. But, I sense that you really don't have anything to worry about. Your picture as posted here tells me that YOU'RE hot too, and after you get the weight off, you'll probably have College guys texting YOU! what was your number, by the way? :thumbup: HH

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die. "Each morning, fix him a healthy Breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. "Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly. "If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely." On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?" "He said you're going to die," she replied.

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender looks up, sees her, and says: "Hey, Sarah Jessica Parker.....Why the long face???" (that's the joke....that's all there is....sorry....:thumbup:)

A GREAT BIG HUG to ya, Corliss! For all you've gone through with your Daughter and yourself. You have my admiration, and my prayers. :grouphug: HH

Corliss, that is indeed a shame what your Daughter has had to go through. It is unfortunate that all WLS have their risks and side effects. It is FORTUNATE, however, that complications such as those your daughter experienced are very, very rare. I experienced life-threatening difficulties with my band, and I also recognize that what i went through was a rare experience. BUT.....those types of experiences ARE becoming more common with the Band as time goes on. No, there is no perfect procedure. We just choose what we think will be the right path, follow the rules, and hope for the best! HH

Then the band might not be right for you. It does require work. You'll still lose without exercise, but it will be much slower. But....don't you want to get healthy? Isn't that kind of the point? You cannot be truly healthy without doing some exercise. HH

That post by Leatha_g was outstanding. As jachut said, very well balanced. Thought provoking. There are no absolutes in WLS....except for the fact that your life WILL change....some for the better, some for the worse, others will simply waste a lot of time and money. You need to choose what is right for YOU, and NOT what has worked well for someone else. This is a LOT more complex process than the billboards and television ads and the bus stop signs would have us believe. It requires a LOT of research, proper counseling, and diligence on the part of the recipient. HH

Oh, I get it now. It was OK to refer to someone as a B***h because your INTENTION was pure and honorable. You were using an expletive for the betterment of the dialogue, and the community at large. Have you discussed your philosophy of "controlled and well-intentioned profanity" during your aforementioned "walk with Jesus"? Do you suppose that when he rid the temple of the moneychangers that he was screaming "get your motherf****** A*** out of this go*da** temple before I kick your as***!!!!" Do ya think that's how he might have handled it? I'm thinking....perhaps not. I think you and PattyGreen need to kiss and make up. You guys were made for each other. :thumbup: HH

I'm not all that sure it has much to do with being "secure". For some people, MANY, in fact, it is what they NEED. The various Weight Loss Surgeries are not entirely interchangeable. Some people need restriction. Some people need malabsorbtion. Some people need neither, but THINK they do. For Some people, there is NO WLS that will work. It is about choosing what is right for YOU, and I'm not talking entirely about ones "comfort zone". People really, really need to do their research before choosing ANY form of WLS, and I don't think they always do that. HH

I'll echo what the others have said, but I will add this: Problems with my band such as the ones you have described ALMOST KILLED ME. It cost me years of health, several surgeries, and I will tell you now: SEE YOUR SURGEON NOW. As much as it has helped many people, the band CAN kill. HH

More specifically, "ahem... show some compasion b****! " You're suggesting THAT comment was somehow...uh..."productive" ? jeez..... HH

And you're suggesting that ANY of this dialogue IS productive?

Patty, Patty, Patty; Please take my advice. Go see the Doctor who does your fills. Ask him to remove a few cc's. I do believe that your band is too tight....it appears to have cut off the blood supply to your brain. HH

Uh....your particular God has failed to inform you (via the divine revelation that you are apparently privy to) that Wasa is not a "him". :thumbup: HH

Yes, this IS very simliar to the procedure that is being used for people who have been able to STRETCH their pouch out after bypass. Might even be the same device. Just another option on the horizon....pretty neat, actually.....A few years ago, there were practically NO options.....now there are almost TOO many! lol! HH

Hi, Gwenn; First, I’d like to say that I am delighted and so very happy for you, that your experience with the Lap Band has been a positive one. I know what a wonderful feeling it is to finally feel success in what has been, for most of us, a lifelong struggle with Obesity. I congratulate you on your success, and I look forward to watching your “weight ticker” as it continues its slide downward. I understand how you feel about Khalili and the Cedars staff. You had a good experience there. It was easy for you, and you came through it with no problems, and you are enjoying the benefits of a successful Lap-Band experience. I do not mean, in any way, to discount YOUR experience. I, too, have seen Khalili’s “charming side”. He uses it when he’s selling you his services. He uses it during the couple of moments he sees you before the surgery. He uses it when he checks in on you for a couple of minutes after the surgery. He uses it in the Post-op check-up. And, he uses it during your fills, if he is the one performing it. However, when something goes wrong with HIS “handiwork”, his charm disappears. And so does he. I do not entirely measure a person by his/her actions when things are going well…..I see a person’s TRUE character during times of adversity. When something goes wrong, when there is a crisis, what an individual does at THAT point defines their character. We can all act pretty decently when times are good. It is how we act when times are bad that defines us. I’m not going to go into a long, detailed explanation about my experience with Khalili here. I’ve written about it elsewhere, and because you have already had the Band installed by him, I’m certainly not going to dissuade you from using his services at this point. It was a long tangled mess, and it’s still going on, actually. The highlights are that he installed my band a few years ago. I began to have problems right away. A port infection came about pretty quickly. He would not return my calls. MANY times. Eventually, I was able to see another Dr. in their office, and he said I would need to see Dr. Khalili….who would not return my calls. The port popped out of my stomach while on a business trip out of state, Requiring a trip to the Emergency Room. Kahlili still would not return my calls. For several months I had a gaping, oozing, painful open hole in my stomach. I went to other Drs, who had not seen anything like this before, including the Mayo Hospital Wound Clinic, who told me I HAD to see the original surgeon. After many phone calls and correspondence with Cedars where I threatened a lawsuit, Khalili agreed to see me. When I met with him, he was rude, nasty, and belligerent. He did agree that I needed additional surgery, and although I was reluctant to have HIM do it, I scheduled it. After all, he was the one who put it in. I had the surgery, in which he attempted to clean out the “hole” so that it would heal. THAT was a long ordeal (surgery, recovery, re-admittance to hospital with severe stomach pains, in hospital for a nearly a week, month-long recovery at home, etc, etc), and I am going to skip over that part of the story,,,,too long. The hole did NOT heal for another 8 or 9 months, and it healed only because I changed to an alkaline-oriented diet(Read “the PH Miracle”…it will change your life…). During those months, I still had a very painful, oozing hole in my gut. Over the next couple of years, my health declined, and I suffered LOT of abdominal pain. Finally, I went to my new health care provider because of my health and the pain. They ran a long series of tests and found that the tube from the lap band THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN REMOVED BY KHALILI had burrowed its way down through and INSIDE of my Colon. Fast Forward; again, too much info. Last year I had surgery to take care of all these problems. My surgery was performed by a Surgeon who specializes in Lap-Band-Surgery-Gone Wrong. He removed the Band, and extracted the Tube from my Colon. He stated, unequivocally, that the BAND HAD BEEN INSTALLED INCORRECTLY. I spent several months in a very, very difficult recovery. My surgery was a year ago last May…..I did not fully recover until the middle of November. They had to cut me wide open to get all the junk out. So, Kahili put it in wrong. He couldn’t close the hole he had made in me. He left a tube in me that he SHOULD have removed. He refused to communicate with me for a long time, and when he did, he was a pompous ass. And whatever he did in the second surgery landed me BACK in the hospital for a third time as well. His “work” created several situations that were life-threatening for me. Again….I don’t wish to discount the experience that you had. But, MY experience was every bit as real. You saw the charming side. I saw the charming side AND the ugly side. And I liked neither one. As far as your best wishes for me and hope that I find a Dr who can help me get another Band, well, I’m pretty well DONE with the Band. My NEW surgeon (NOT Kahlili or ANYONE associated with Cedars-Cyanide, as they have become known in my family) provided me with a Gastric Bypass, and as I write this I sit here healthy, happy, and at a PERFECT WEIGHT for my height and build. I lost several years of health thanks to Kahlili. But, with the exception of some legal action, I’m trying to put it behind me and simply enjoy my new body. I hope to be able to help others avoid what I went through by encouraging them to RESEARCH their Surgeon TOTALLY, make SURE he/she has TONS of LAP-BAND experience Khalili did NOT), and get a commitment for the aftercare that you may need. I do wish YOU the best, Gwenn. I’m glad things are going well. You have done very, very well, and I am certain you will be a “Band Success Story! HH

Yes, DO ask about benefits. They are part of your compensation, so you have evry bit as much reason to ask about them as you would salary. I might not, though, ask about WLS specifically, because it MIGHT appear that you are just going to work for THAT. I would find out what your insurance options are with the company, and then after your interview do some research privately and find out if you would covered for WLS with the insurance they offer. HH

Had my band out last year, and I had a RNY. Been great for me; at my perfect weight now! Look at ALL the options. The sleeve is a good one, but so is the RNY. They all have their positives and negatives. You need to really do the research and figure out whether you need restriction (like the band/sleeve) or Malabsorbtion/Restriction) RNY. See WasABubbleButt and OregonDaisy over in the new sleeve section....they're smart people who have gone from the Band to the Sleeve and can give you their experienced outlook. BUT.....you've taken the first step, getting the Plastic Noose off your stomach!:thumbup: HH

I, on the other hand, had an entirely different experience with "Dr" Khalili and his Staff. I have nothing but disdain and contempt for Kahlili and the hack job he did on me. He installed the band INCORRECTLY, and when the problems surfaced he wouldn't even talk to me without the threat of a lawsuit. I would have been better off having my Gardener install my Lap Band. I have suffered enormously for several years as a result of Kahili's incompetance and arrogance. He is NOT a good choice.

Also keep in mind that while they like to position these events as "Informational Seminars", they are, in reality, SALES PRESENTATIONS. Make sure you do PLENTY of your own independent research. Don't simply go to a couple of seminars and make a quick decision. It probably took you a lifetime to become obese....take a good long time in deciding which is YOUR best method for regaining your health! HH

You are one of the lucky ones whose insurance WILL cover both. Most won't cover the Sleeve. There is a Sleeve section here on this forum. There are a number of Lap-Band patients who have had their Bands removed and had a Sleeve. I would strongly suggest that you visit that section, as these folks have experienced both. They're nice people, and will give you the Sleeve "side of the story". And, there are some very, very compelling reasons to choose the sleeve over the Band! good luck in your decision making process! :wub: HH

I have lost a total of 180 pounds since my highest weight, and I COULD go without any Plastic Surgery. I have survived it quite well. The most apparent "residue" (for lack of a better term) is skin that hangs down from my tummy. But it's not real bad. It does not really resemble the "apron" that some people have. My doctor did say that he would refer me to Plastics and have that taken care of (Kaiser), which I thought was quite cool. There are other areas of my body that could use a "lift". My upper arms are a bit flabby. And my upper-inner thighs are VERY stretched out. But it is all in areas that most people would never see, so it doesn't bother me much. I was afraid that my face would suffer, that I would have tons of skin hanging down from my chin. That has proven NOT to be the case. However, it has been curious to note an interesting change in my face. I would liken it to the effect of a balloon that has been inflated for several days, and is just beginning to lose a little bit of air. There is a slight "softening" to the outside of the balloon. It sags just a little bit. I don't know if I'll have this changed....I'm not THAT vain! But, i also don't like looking TOO much older than I am. I don't know....the jury is still out! HH

This same question about having regrets comes up on occasion. The last time it did, I posted a response, so i will post the same one here this time around. :wub: Do I regret having the Lap-Band installed? I began to reply to this question with a simple one-word answer: yes. But that would be a little unfair. The question is simple. For some, though, the answer is not. On one level, I DEEPLY regret my decision to have the Lap Band installed. For me, it was a life-threatening, mind-numbingingly disgusting experience that consumed several years of my life, left me in poor health for a long period, left me with tons of hospital bills, kept me from working full-time for several years, and the experience almost killed me at least a couple of times..….the list goes on. However, it’s not as simple as just saying that I regret my Lap Band experience. I regret the Lap-band PORTION of my experience, but it was part of an overall experience that ultimately led me to a much higher level of health and fitness than I would otherwise have had. So, I have come to see it as an ugly side trip on an, overall, beneficial journey. Of course, the side trip was very, very ugly. The Lap band Port popped out of my stomach at one point, left a dripping, oozing hole that would not heal, parts of the band that SHOULD have been removed in a second surgery were not, and ultimately burrowed INSIDE of my colon, requiring more surgery. It was a long and nasty experience, and I won’t recount it all here. I recognize and acknowledge the fact that my experience with the Lap band was atypical. Most people have a pretty good experience with the Lap Band. It’s not always successful to the degree that people want it to be, but that can be a result of many factors. Many people do NOT follow the protocol laid out by the Surgeon. Some people try and eat the same way they did prior to having the Lap Band installed, and then wonder why the band isn’t working. Some people think that the band will be doing ALL the work – WRONG. Some Surgeon’s office teams don’t provide particularly good instructions. Some Surgeons are inexperienced and simply do a lousy job (mine). There are plenty of people who have the band installed, get one or two fills, and simply lose the weight they need to, with little or no problem. I am THRILLED for those people. I couldn’t be happier. You will see many of them posting on this board. BUT, some of them make it seem like it works that way for everyone. And it does NOT work that way for everyone. There ARE problems, for many, many people. Some people have died as a result of Lap Band complications. And for some, it just simply does NOT work, for a variety of reasons. The Surgeon who removed my Lap Band told me on several occasions that he felt that the band would be removed from the market within a few years because of increasing problems and complications. He should know, because he specializes in correcting problems with the band. Do I think it will be removed from the market? Probably not, because in spite of the problems that many people have, it has saved many lives, and improved the quality of many others. I do, however, think that some SURGEONS should be removed from the market. J. Also, the Lap Band (and other Weight Loss Surgeries) have become a HUGE business. It’s an INDUSTRY now, putting hundreds of millions of dollars into the pockets of members of the AMA, which is an enormously powerful lobby. No, there’s just too much money involved for it to go away. And, there has been so much benefit to many people. In my case, I had a hack surgeon: “Dr.” Theodore Kahlili at Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles. I know that there are people on this board that have had success with “Dr.” Khalili, but that was NOT my experience. In my case, I believe he was incompetent….SEVERAL times. And when something goes wrong with your band, just watch him run. I would have been better off having the guy that cuts my Sushi install my Lap Band. He was also arrogant…VERY arrogant. I recognize that Surgeons are human, and they can make mistakes. But, they need to stand up and be accountable when they do. That is why when I make a post on this board I will almost ALWAYS make the strong suggestion that you choose your surgeon CAREFULLY….your life may depend on it. Of course, life is a series of experiences that combine to make us who we are. This means good experiences, bad experiences, wonderful relationships, bad relationships; it all adds up to create a total life experience. My Lap Band experience was one small element of my life that grew to become a very significant part of my life for several years. So, while the question itself is quite simple (“do you regret having your Lap Band”), the answer (for some) is not. We are all unique. Our physiology is different. Our mental states are all different. We are going to have DIFFERENT outcomes. When I reverse-engineer my entire lap-band experience, I see areas where I could have affected the outcome in a more positive manner. Like choosing a surgeon that was qualified to handle something more than a butter knife. There were other areas in which I made mistakes as well. But, I had never had a lap band before. And frankly, I was not told very much about it by my “Surgeon’s” office. And when I had my band installed, there were not the resources available online that there are today, such as this forum. So, yes, I regret the Lap Band, and I regret my choice of surgeon, but I do not regret the overall experience that I have had over the last several years. I have learned much about health, nutrition, our Medical system, Insurance companies, lawyers, Human nature, and MYSELF. I wish I did not have to have gone through what I went through, but something tells me that it was for a reason. There were things I needed to learn. And learn I did. “The Journey is the Reward”. HH

OH! You're Brandy II??? My Gosh, I didn't realize that! I've only known you as nanook....But i remember you very well from last year as BrandyII. When I first came on this forum last year and created a bit of a firestorm when i related my really nasty experience with the band, you were one of a handful of people that were very kind to me, and I very much appreciated that.....Nice to know you're here! :wub: HH

Doctors can be complete idiots. I DO think the band has some inherent flaws, BUT... MUCH of the difficulty experienced by people is the result of Doctors who don't always know quite what they are doing, or refuse to stand up and take responsibility for their actions, or their INactions. One other issue comes to mind here. I think I have seen the advertisements for the Doctor you are speaking of. I think i'm seeing it right now, actually, on the right hand side of my screen....:frown:. The "single incision" concept is a nice idea, I suppose, but it has occurred to me that perhaps they are trying to do a little too much in too little space. I'm not a real big fan of having ANY kind or surgery, and I am in complete agreement that the fewer holes they punch in you, the better. BUT....people seem to be OVERLY concerned about the incision scars. who CARES if you have 3 or 4 or even 5 little, tiny, TINY scars on your tummy after having this surgery? Frankly, I think that trying to reduce this surgery to one itsy bitsy little hole is pushing it a little ......They need room to work, to be able to do it CORRECTLY....which, this Doctor didn't seem to be able to do. And, I'm not all that sure i would WANT to be a Guinea Pig for ANY "Pioneering" surgery, UNLESS it was one that might save my life. And, I'm not sure that the promise of having a few less tiny belly scars qualifies..... AND, you are NOT a failure, and don't let this cretin with a Sheepskin tell you are. HE's the failure. HH