MelissaMcCreery

Are you: * eating when you aren’t really hungry? * struggling with stress or “nervous” eating? * circling the kitchen because you can’t find “the thing” that will satisfy you? * eating when you are bored, tired, frustrated, or procrastinating doing something else? * hungry all the time–no matter what or how much you eat? If so, it’s worth considering whether emotional eating is getting in the way of your healthy eating and weight loss goals. We all eat emotionally. We’re encouraged by friends, family, and the media to associate food with all sorts of warm, comfy, delicious things that are not simply a need for fuel. We’re taught to think of “comfort foods” and to reach for certain foods when we want to Celebrate or gnaw away our frustrations. Emotional eating is a fact of life for most of us. But if it gets out of hand, it can TAKE the upper hand and become the primary factor behind your weight struggles. If you are having a hard time with emotional overeating than you know what a vicious cycle it can be to break out of. Remember that it IS a vicious cycle and apply these strategies to break free of the emotional overeating cycle and start walking a different path. 1. Call it emotional eating. If you are using food as a tool to cope with feelings or needs, than call it what it is. Once you identify emotional eating, let go of the other names you’ve been using—you know—the ones that leave you feeling awful about yourself, guilty, and maybe even ashamed. The issue is that you are an emotional eater. The issue is NOT that you are lazy, unmotivated, or undisciplined. 2. If you are going to change a pattern, you need to understand it first. This is why any diet you choose will probably fail you. A diet doesn’t teach you to listen to yourself and understand the pattern of your eating. A diet won’t help you understand what drives you to the kitchen after you’ve already eaten a meal. It won’t help you figure out what you are REALLY craving, feeling, or needing that isn’t even food. Taking the time to understand what’s really going on will help you craft a strategy where you address the CAUSE of your overeating. Programs like the Emotional Eating Toolbox™ 28 Day Program can be helpful if you find that you need new tools or strategies to identify what’s going on or help creating alternatives to overeating. 3. Don’t just say no. No isn’t a strategy. To successfully take control of emotional eating, you’re going to need to decide HOW you’re going to not use food the way you’ve been using it in the past. What’s essential here is knowing what you will do INSTEAD of relying on food. Too many weight loss plans fail because of a lack of this type of planning. Make a list before you start your next weight loss attempt—or better yet—make it now. What are your trouble spots, triggers, and emotional eating cues? What can you try instead of turning to food? ## Dr. Melissa McCreery is a Psychologist, Coach, and Emotional Eating and Overwhelm Eliminator for smart busy women. Are you struggling with emotional eating, overeating, and balancing work and life? Claim your easy-to-use audio series: "Five Simple Steps to Move Beyond Overwhelm with Food and Life" at Too Much On Her Plate.

Stress eating, boredom eating, comfort eating—even eating as a way of celebrating—these patterns often sneak up on women who are busy caring for their families, their businesses, and their complicated lives. My clients sometimes tell me that it feels like the pounds slipped back on when they got busy and were “looking the other way.” Here are three tips to keep emotional eating at bay: 1. Be proactive with your life. Emotional eating often happens when we feel like we are chasing our life instead of in charge of it. When we feel behind, overwhelmed, tired, or overburdened, our problem-solving abilities are diminished, our will power is reduced, and a quick food fix can be awfully tempting. It doesn’t sound very sexy, but spending twenty minutes at the beginning of your week identifying your schedule and your priorities and making sure that you schedule your own needs and self care can make all the difference. Did you see that sentence about scheduling your own needs and self care? Women who feel in control with food and life don’t skip that part. 2. Be aware. Often, it’s the things that we are trying NOT to think about or avoid that trigger emotional eating. I’m a huge fan of regular journaling. Writing is a great way to stay connected with what’s going on in your head. 3. Acknowledge tiredness. One of the biggest causes of out-of-control eating is exhaustion. We’re trying to do a lot, but ignoring tiredness and doing without sleep doesn’t help. If you want to lose weight, maintain weight loss, or feel in control with food, getting eight hours of sleep a night is one of the most powerful things you can do. ## Dr. Melissa McCreery is a Psychologist, Coach, and Emotional Eating and Overwhelm Eliminator for smart busy women. Are you struggling with emotional eating, overeating, and balancing work and life? Claim your easy-to-use audio series: "Five Simple Steps to Move Beyond Overwhelm with Food and Life" at Too Much On Her Plate

A colleague sent me a gift recently. She sent me a timer. She didn’t have to explain what it was for, because I know her strategy. She’s about getting big things done by making them do-able. That is such an important key. When we are facing something that feels overwhelming, when we are staring up at a mountain, it may feel intimidating to even think about getting started. We can feel so overwhelmed simply thinking about how big the mountain is that we never even begin to climb. Last year I ran a marathon for the first time. Here’s what I know. If I had stood at the starting line thinking about how I was going to be running for the next 26.2 miles I might not have started. I certainly would have panicked. I started the race by moving forward. I took some steps and then I took some more. I looked for the mile marker that told me I had run the first mile. I ran from mile marker to mile marker and I didn’t let myself think much farther ahead then that. Today I had to work through some difficult and rather uninspiring tasks. I’ll be honest. They were overwhelming and I’ve been avoiding them. I’ve been sitting here all day setting my timer for fifteen minutes at a time, taking a break with a more pleasant activity each time it goes off. It’s only noon and my desk is almost clear. I’m amazed at how much I’ve accomplished and I never would have really gotten started if I hadn’t broken it down into small chunks. I know that when you are facing an overwhelming project or decision or whatever your mountain is, those small fifteen minute chunks can seem like nothing. They can seem insubstantial and “not serious.” Don’t give into that thinking. It will sink you before you start. My suggestion for you is to pick something you feel overwhelmed by or that you’ve been avoiding because you don’t know where to begin. And then dig in–anywhere. Just start moving in a small, time-limited way. Work through the first fifteen minutes. Just start. Give yourself permission not to do the whole thing or have the whole course charted out. Taking action feels better than feeling stuck. ### Dr. Melissa McCreery is a Psychologist, Coach, and Emotional Eating and Overwhelm Eliminator for smart busy women. Are you struggling with emotional eating, overeating, and balancing work and life? Claim your easy-to-use audio series: "Five Simple Steps to Move Beyond Overwhelm with Food and Life" at TooMuchOnHerPlate.com

Worries about money, the economy, income levels, and finances are behind many women’s stress eating and overeating these days. In a recent group coaching call, every participant’s dominant concern boiled down to money worries of one form or another. Even if your own financial situation is secure, the worries, stress, and difficulties of others surround us in a big way. Feeling out of control, anxious, worried, or unhappy are all triggers for emotional eating, Here are some tips to keep stress about the economy from affecting your actual bottom line. Emotional Eating Tip 1: Acknowledge the Stress and Your Feelings As tempting as it is to avoid reality, it’s important to acknowledge the stress and the way you are feeling. That doesn’t mean that you are going to dwell on it or feel that way forever, but if you don’t let yourself deal with your feelings directly, you won’t be very effective at responding to them. One of my clients had been avoiding getting clear on how her financial situation has been impacted by the stock market. She was worried and fearful and was trying to cope by “not thinking about it.” Instead of feeling better, she found herself facing mounting dread and guilt for not doing what she knew she needed to do to clarify her situation. She also found herself snacking more–especially in the evening–and putting on weight. As this happened, she began to feel more out of control. Luckily, she saw herself entering a vicious cycle. Trying to avoid her feelings led to emotional eating, guilt, and weight gain (and didn’t help with the worry and stress anyway–in fact it added to it). It wasn’t until she acknowledged how stressed, worried, and fearful she was that she could start to develop a plan to take care of herself. A coaching client was noticing that economic changes were leading to changes in her clients’ buying habits. She panicked when a popular program wasn’t so popular anymore. Instead of spiraling into fear (and stress eating), acknowledging how she was feeling allowed her move into effective problem solving. Tip: If you have money worries or fears or stress, give yourself some time to let yourself really think about and address your feelings. This is not the same as “fixing” the situation. Give yourself time to journal, talk with a supportive friend, or think about how you feel. Emotional Eating Tip 2: Take Comfort If the economy is causing you stress, you could definitely benefit from comfort. Comfort eating reaches an all-time high when we are stressed and aren’t feeling entirely sure of (or in control of) the solution to our problems. In order to take control of comfort eating, it’s important to have comfort strategies you can use instead of turning to overeating. How are you compassionate to yourself during stressful or uncertain times? How can you take good care of yourself? Start making a list of things that feel good that you can turn to when you don’t. Emotional Eating Tip Three: Control What You Can Lots of people are feeling a loss of control these days and that’s leading to more emotional eating and overeating. The economy impacts all of us. If you are feeling less in control, it is important to identify what you can do to begin to feel more in control–because that’s where you want to be. As you begin to think about this, don’t only think about the big issues and worries. When life starts to feel out of control, one of the most powerful things we can do is to take charge of the things (big and small) that we can control. Ironically, when life feels out of control, it’s sometimes tempting to throw up our hands and quit entirely. Don’t. What can you control? What can you take pride in today? Pack a healthy lunch. Walk for twenty minutes after work. Do something kind for yourself this evening. If you are looking for order or predictability, clean out a drawer or your closet. Clear off your desk. Take one proactive action. It will help. ## Dr. Melissa McCreery is a Psychologist, Coach, and Emotional Eating and Overwhelm Eliminator for smart busy women and the creator of the Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Bonus Series for Women After Weight Loss Surgery. Are you struggling with emotional eating, overeating, and balancing work and life? Claim your easy-to-use audio series: "Five Simple Steps to Move Beyond Overwhelm with food and Life" at http://TooMuchOnHerPlate.com.

Do you find yourself stress eating, comfort eating or even boredom eating during your workday? That's emotional eating. Emotional eating is the eating that happens when you're procrastinating tackling a difficult project, struggling with writer's block, or avoiding a difficult conversation. Emotional eating also happens when we're trying to transform our feelings-like munching mindlessly in the late afternoon in an attempt to perk up or re-motivate. Emotional eating is a major cause of weight gain, weight loss difficulties, and weight re-gain after weight loss. It can be a major issue for many busy business owners and professionals who feel like they are facing a mounting to-do list, challenging projects, financial challenges, and too-little time. Before you reach for a snack-here are three ways to avoid emotional eating during your work day and build skills and awareness that will help you take charge of future challenges with emotional eating. 1. Identify Emotional Eating Lots of emotional eating happens without paying a lot of attention. When we eat without our full awareness we eat more, we often make poor choices, and we don't even fully taste and enjoy what we are eating. Don't put food where you can reach for it mindlessly. Use strategies that maximize your awareness of what you are doing-don't eat while you are working-in fact, set a personal policy of not multitasking at all while you eat. If you are feeling cravings or urges to eat that aren't hunger-driven, say what you know about what's going on-actually say it out loud (and without judgment). "I'm not physically hungry but all I can think about are those brownies in the kitchen. Something is triggering me to think about eating even though I don't need fuel right now." You might feel silly, but don't skip this step. If you are surrounded by other people and you can't really talk to yourself, pull out a piece of paper and write it down. Don't worry if you don't know anything more than "I'm not really hungry, but I want to eat." 2. Be Curious About Your Craving That urge to eat probably didn't pop up out of nowhere. The five minutes (or less) it takes to stop and explore what's going on will be worth it. See if you can identify what your craving is really about. Pull out a journal or type on your computer for a few minutes (yes, I know you're busy. Just take a FEW minutes). If you can, you might want to go for a short walk while you think. Why is eating suddenly so appealing? What was happening before you were thinking of it? What would you be doing or thinking of if you weren't focused on eating? What makes this hour different from one when food wasn't calling to you? Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and notice what comes to you. If you figure anything out, be direct with yourself and put it into words. "I'm not hungry but I'm focusing on eating candy. I just realized it's because I'm really stressed out about this presentation I need to get done and I'm worried about whether it will be good enough" If you hit pay dirt here, you'll now find you have a different problem. The problem isn't really about eating or not eating, it's figuring out how to take care of yourself and the feelings or issues you just identified. Sometimes, simply identifying the real cause of your hunger will be enough to shift how you feel. Sometimes you'll need to move to a strategy that addresses the real need or issue. 3. Create Options It's much easier not to turn to food if you have a plan for what you can do instead. Take the information you have gathered and start developing a list of everything you can think of that you could do to take care of that feeling or need in addition to eating. It's not about NOT eating, it's about figuring out what you can do INSTEAD. Take a break, switch tasks, drink a glass of Water, go wash your hands and put on lotion, commit to spending fifteen minutes on the task you are avoiding....You get the idea. Put the list somewhere where you can see it and can add ideas as you think of them. Don't censor your ideas for being unrealistic or impossible. Write down every strategy (big or small) you can think of to do in response to worry or anxiety or tiredness or boredom (or whatever you have identified). Make a commitment to try two of those things, this week when the emotional eating urge hits and tweak your list as you go. Are you a smart, busy woman struggling with emotional eating, overeating, and balancing work and life? Claim your free psychologist-designed audio series: “5 Simple Steps to Move Beyond Overwhelm With Food and Life” at http://TooMuchOnHerPlate.com Just look for the yellow post-it note at the top of the page Melissa McCreery, PhD, ACC, is a Psychologist, ICF Certified Life Coach, emotional eating expert, and the founder of http://toomuchonherplate.com, a company dedicated to providing smart resources to busy women struggling with food, weight and overwhelm.

Do you overeat when you are stressed or tired or overwhelmed? Do you flop down exhausted at the end of the day feeling like there is never enough time for you? Despite your best intentions, do you never seem to get to that exercise plan, that journal that you want to write in, or that fun project you really want to start? Do you ever feel like no one really understands how much is expected of you? Are you feeling resentful that there is never enough time to get to you? If you find yourself answering yes to any of these questions, it’s time to consider whether martyrdom is having a negative impact on your eating, your weight, your health, and your life. What do I mean by martyrdom? I’m talking about sacrificing yourself—literally—for whatever cause it is that you choose to be a martyr for. Martyrdom is not the same as caring for others. Healthy caring assumes that you are just as human and needy as everyone else. When you distribute your care, you get an equal share (it’s like dividing up a pizza—everyone gets a piece). The martyr approach doesn’t work that way. The martyr assumes that caring for others takes priority or somehow cancels out her own needs. She assumes that in order to be “good” at caring for others (or other responsibilities), she must sacrifice her own agenda. The martyr believes that “personal stuff” happens after you’ve taken care of everything else. The martyr often says, “I can’t (meditate, go to the gym, ever see my friends, fill-in-the-blank) because Junior’s soccer schedule is so busy or I’ve got that committee work to do or I have to make dinner. Here’s the litmus test: if Junior has an unscheduled extra practice or the committee calls another meeting, the martyr will move mountains and give up on sleep to make that happen. Her own needs—they just don’t get the same priority. The tradeoff for choosing martyrdom is feeling exhausted and deprived and unfed, overlooked, and uncared for. Resentment usually follows. Let’s see a show of hands. When you feel exhausted, deprived, unfed, overlooked and uncared for (with a hefty dash of resentment), who finds those chocolate chip Cookies a lot harder to resist? Martyrdom breeds overeating—of many different types. When there is never enough time, food becomes an easy-to-turn-to fix for all the unfilled places in your life. If martyrdom is ruling the day, then no matter what great strategies you learn to take control of your emotional eating, you’ll rarely feel entitled to implement them. How to leave martyrdom behind? The first simple, big, bold step has to take place in your head. It comes when you can really truly see the cost of this kind of behavior and let go of the myth that martyrdom is a desirable quality. It means challenging beliefs you may have that taking time for yourself is selfish. Care is NOT an either/or proposition. You don’t have to choose—“Do I care for them or do I care for me?” The truth is, in order to really be able to provide your best care for anyone else, you have to be in good running order. In a healthy life, self-care and the care of other people and things go together. While you get comfortable with this notion, consider whether you have a support system that can help you settle in to this new way of thinking. It’s much easier to leave martyrdom behind when you have the support and encouragement of others who believe in what you are doing and will remind you of your priorities along the way. One more thing—letting go of martyrdom also means accepting the concept of time. You are not responsible for the fact that there are only 24 hours in a day and that sometimes 24 hours isn’t enough time for everything. It isn’t your job to take your life off the menu so that others can pretend that they are entitled to a bigger slice of life. It’s not your job, it’s not fair, and it doesn’t work. _____________ Melissa McCreery, PhD, ACC, is a Psychologist, ICF Certified Life Coach, emotional eating expert, and the founder of www.TooMuchOnHerPlate.com, a company dedicated to providing smart resources to busy women struggling with food, weight and overwhelm. Find out more, read tips and articles, and pick up her free audio series: “5 simple steps to move beyond overwhelm with food and life” at http://www.TooMuchOnHerPlate.com.

It’s September and in the United States it's Labor Day weekend. If you’ve been telling yourself all summer that you’re “waiting ‘til September” to take better care of yourself . . . you’ve just run out of excuses. I know–summer does have a different rhythm to it, and many of us look to September as the start of a new chapter in our lives and a return of more structure and planning. So now that it’s here, what are you going to do? What one step will you commit to to undertake your own personal health care reform? Do you need to clean up your eating? Find a better way to cope with stress and overwhelm and exhaustion? Make a commitment to getting more activity? Create more space and time for yourself? Grow a stronger support system? It’s time for that next step. Set your intention, create a goal and then answer the following question: How can the world support you? What do you need to ask for, do, or say no to in order to be effective? It’s September. Time to take a stand. Time to reform YOUR health care. What’s it going to be? Want to be bold? Share your commitment in a comment. Take good care, Melissa PS: If you could benefit from some extra tools and support to propel you forward, the good news is that there are still a few spots left in the fall Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Group for Weight Loss Surgery Patients (held by phone so that you can participate from anywhere). Take advantage of our fall sale on this and other resources until 9/7/09 or space runs out. Melissa McCreery, PhD, ACC, is a Psychologist, ICF Certified Life Coach, emotional eating expert, and the founder of www.TooMuchOnHerPlate.com, a company dedicated to providing smart resources to busy women struggling with food, weight and overwhelm. Find out more, read tips and articles, and pick up her free audio series: “5 simple steps to move beyond overwhelm with food and life” at http://www.TooMuchOnHerPlate.com.

There are so many good tips and tools and strategies that can help us live a fuller, more authentic and meaningful life. Tips that can lower our stress, help us lose weight, prevent overwhelm and improve our relationships. But learning about these tools and ideas and strategies just isn’t enough. These gems are only helpful to us if we are able to figure out how to implement them and allow them to be useful in our lives. There is an ingredient that is essential for metabolizing good information. It’s necessary for creating a plan for implementation. It’s a crucial factor in reducing stress and overwhelm. And, it is in very short supply in many of our lives. I’m speaking about good, quality, quiet time. What I see in my own life and in the lives of the women I work with, is that many of the things we can do to increase our happiness, productivity, success with weight or health, or whatever it is that we want to do, only really happen if we allow ourselves enough quiet time to listen to ourselves and discover the how and when and why of implementing. When we have quiet time we can hear what we need. We can think about how to address the need, and we can plan and schedule the actions we are going to take. Do you get enough quiet time? When you have an opportunity for quiet time, do you allow yourself to take it? It’s interesting about quiet time. Many of us—especially women with a lot going on—have a tendency to avoid quiet time—to fritter it away or to distract ourselves from it—to fill it with things like the internet or TV we don’t really care about. Or to fill it with food and nibbling or overeating. It sounds so simple, but truthfully, taking more quiet time isn’t always an easy thing. For someone perpetually on the go, the beginning stages of quiet time can be uncomfortable. Listening to ourselves or discovering what we need can be difficult. And sometimes we don’t like discovering that we have questions or needs that we don’t know how to answer or address. But here’s the real truth. If we don’t take the time to listen and hear what we feel or need or want, we won’t be able to match those things up with the tips and tools and strategies we know about or are capable of acquiring. Do you get enough quiet time? What does ideal quiet time look like for you? I encourage you to choose a regular “quiet” activity—walking, writing or journaling, quiet contemplative or meditative time—maybe a gentle yoga workout. Consider how you could add some quiet time to your week and make a commitment to stick with it for at least a week. It’s the kind of action that really pays off. _________ Melissa McCreery, PhD, ACC, is a Psychologist, ICF Certified Life Coach, emotional eating expert, and the founder of www.TooMuchOnHerPlate.com, a company dedicated to providing smart resources to busy women struggling with food, weight and overwhelm. Find out more, read tips and articles, and pick up her free audio series: “5 simple steps to move beyond overwhelm with food and life” at http://www.TooMuchOnHerPlate.com.

There is a big difference between knowing what you want and asking for it. There is also an important distinction between asking and hinting. Unfortunately, many of us were raised in a culture that encouraged us to be less than direct about what it is we’d like to occur. I talk with many women who aren’t getting what they need or want and aren’t quite sure how to ask for it. Interestingly, many women are able to be direct and assertive in their professional lives but find they stumble and feel uncomfortable when asking to have their personal needs met. I also hear from a lot of women who feel frustrated that their requests and needs aren’t being met even though they believe they are stating them clearly. They can’t understand what is going wrong. After writing a recent article about the importance of clearly stating wants and needs, I noticed some areas in my own life where I wasn’t really hitting the mark with this. I also found some places where, I initially believed I was being perfectly direct, but on further reflection, I realized I wasn’t getting my point across at all. And (big surprise), I was feeling frustrated with how things were going in those particular areas. I’m making a concerted effort to practice really stating my wishes clearly. Here are some pointers you might want to consider if your asking muscles need strengthening: 1. Being dissatisfied doesn’t mean you have clarity about what you want. I can know I don’t like something and I can express my unhappiness with it, but if I haven’t taken the time to create a clear picture of what I DO want, the information isn’t necessarily going to lead to a better outcome. 2. Expressing dissatisfaction is not the same as stating how you would like something to be. There is a HUGE difference between complaining and describing the outcome you want. If we aren’t clear on this difference and aren’t careful, we (yes, I’m including myself here) can fall into the trap of expressing what we don’t like and might never clearly describe what we want instead. 3. Directness and clarity are very important. To be most effective, we should be drawing a very clear picture for the person we are communicating with. Example: “I want you to help out more” doesn’t really cut it. “I’d like you to make dinner twice a week and help with kitchen clean up” paints a much clearer picture. Ask yourself the following question: if you had what you wanted, what would it look like? THIS is the description you want to be sharing and asking for. 4. Asking for what you want is NOT hinting, whining, complaining or describing how well this situation works in someone else’s life or business. A direct request should start with the word “I.” If you find yourself veering away from “I” statements, it’s a pretty good indication you need to practice using them. 5. For maximum success, your request should not be reactive or emotional. This one can be tricky if stating your needs is something you really aren’t comfortable with. If this is the case, know that it gets easier with practice. Start small and choose a calm time to practice your skills. ____________ Melissa McCreery, PhD, ACC, is a Psychologist, ICF Certified Life Coach, emotional eating expert, and the founder of www.TooMuchOnHerPlate.com, a company dedicated to providing smart resources to busy women struggling with food, weight and overwhelm. Find out more, read tips and articles, and pick up her free audio series: “5 simple steps to move beyond overwhelm with food and life” at http://www.TooMuchOnHerPlate.com.

If so, you are NOT alone. MANY women are frustrated, that despite their success in other areas in their life and business, feel out of control with food and their eating. Register for this free teleseminar with Melissa McCreery, PhD, ACC: Ending Emotional Eating and Overeating Struggles—The Important Step Even Smart Women Skip August 19, 2009 at 5pm Eastern, 2pm Pacific Don’t worry if you can’t attend: this call will be recorded and all who register will have access to the recording. You will learn: The process that helps women take control of emotional eating and overeating The incredibly important strategy that many busy, accomplished women overlook The essential questions to ask that can get you in action immediately I’ll also be sharing information about my new fall programs Sign up to attend and get the free recording.

If so, you are NOT alone. MANY women are frustrated, that despite their success in other areas in their life and business, feel out of control with food and their eating. Register for this free teleseminar with Melissa McCreery, PhD, ACC: Ending Emotional Eating and Overeating Struggles—The Important Step Even Smart Women Skip August 19, 2009 at 5pm Eastern, 2pm Pacific Don’t worry if you can’t attend: this call will be recorded and all who register will have access to the recording. You will learn: The process that helps women take control of emotional eating and overeating The incredibly important strategy that many busy, accomplished women overlook The essential questions to ask that can get you in action immediately I’ll also be sharing information about my new fall programs Sign up to attend and get the free recording.

There are lots of possible triggers for overeating and emotional eating. Many people turn to food when they feel dissatisfied or trapped or unhappy—when life isn’t working the way they want it to. An important and related skill that many people could work on enhancing is asking for what you want or need or dream of. When people explain to me that they can’t get what they want, I usually ask them if they’ve asked for it. It’s amazing to me how often they haven’t. Sometimes there explanation goes like this: “No, I haven’t asked. What’s the point? It’s not possible.” I know, from my own experience, and that of countless clients, that if you don’t ask, you’ll never know what’s possible. In fact, quite often, things that seem impossible unfold with ease once you begin to believe that you are entitled to ask for them. Often, what seems like a HUGE favor to you, is small potatoes to the person you are asking I also know that asking isn’t only beneficial if you receive. Asking for what you want is a powerful action whether or not it leads to the result you hoped for. Asking for what you want is not only a request to the person you are speaking to. Voicing your need, desire, or dream is also a very personal statement of where you are in the world. By asking you take a stand. You say something about who you are and what you believe is important. You voice your agenda. These are incredibly important and personal actions. Here is what I have found. If I ask for what I want with confidence, conviction, and a belief in the importance of what I am asking for, two things happen. First, I feel better for saying what I’ve said. Second, I feel closer to getting what I want or need—whether or not my request is immediately met. If I don’t get a positive response, I may need to wade through some initial disappointment, but even if I don’t immediately receive what I’ve asked for, I’ve learned that putting my request into words creates important change. Sometimes it changes what I do. Sometimes, the conversation that follows my asking alerts me to new possible avenues for getting my needs met. Sometimes sitting with that initial disappointment really clarifies how important my request is to me—or it helps me see how I need to re-craft my request. The bottom line: asking is taking action, and often, choosing not to ask is a decision to stay in a place that isn’t working for us. When we ask, we take charge of the direction of our lives, we step out of overwhelm and stuckness and we start addressing whatever it is that isn’t working for us. Is there anything you could benefit from asking for today? ________ Melissa McCreery, PhD, ACC, is a Psychologist, ICF Certified Life Coach, emotional eating expert, and the founder of www.TooMuchOnHerPlate.com, a company dedicated to providing smart resources to busy women struggling with food, weight and overwhelm. Find out more, read tips and articles, and pick up her free audio series: “5 simple steps to move beyond overwhelm with food and life” at http://www.TooMuchOnHerPlate.com