MelissaMcCreery

I am truly honored to be coaching a phenomenal group of women in a program called the Weight Loss Winner’s Circle™. These women, brought together by phone and the internet from all over the country, are committed to achieving lasting success with weight loss while at the same time creating their best version of their lives. Motivation, accountability and support are in abundance at the three times monthly coaching club meetings and on the online forum. The collective wisdom that flows from this group is amazing and I am regularly touched by the uplifted moods, the changes in motivation, and the shifts in perspective that occur on the group coaching calls. Each week seems to bring new insights, learning, and great take-away ideas. Here are just a few of the powerful lessons that were shared in the last month: Every moment is a learning moment. Whether you’ve had a great day, a lousy afternoon, a successful experience, or a difficult day with your eating, you can always learn something if you pause and look at the situation. Taking the time to stop and learn helps people STAY in action and make progress. Seeing the learning helps you stay out of sabotaging self blame and negative thinking. Sometimes somebody else can see things more clearly than you can. It’s not unusual for someone to come to Coaching Club feeling discouraged—completely oblivious to some progress they are making or some shift that could easily change everything. Having the courage to seek support when you aren’t feeling so hot usually pays off. Moods and motivation can shift powerfully and quickly—with the support and input of others. Again, sometimes we are so close to our own “stuff” that we aren’t seeing it accurately. It’s amazing what can happen when you put it out there in a group of people you trust and open yourself up to different perspectives, to coaching, and to challenging yourself. It’s not only about weight loss. Making enduring changes with weight and new habits ultimately means building new skills and new strategies. For the women of the Weight Loss Winner’s Circle, the consensus this month has been that these changes also involve creating lives that are rich and rewarding in and of themselves. Tonight’s the night for the weekly Coaching Club and I’m looking forward to it. I’m guaranteed to come away with something helpful to think about. Feel free to reprint on your own website, newsletter, blog or message board as long as you include the following: Melissa McCreery, PhD is the founder of Enduring Change Coaching and creator of the Emotional Eating Toolbox ™ 28 Day Program and the Weight Loss Winner's Circle. Get free information, tips, and strategies for taking control of emotional eating at http://www.emotionaleatingsolutions.com.

Nothing will sabotage a perfectly good weight loss plan faster than an inner perfectionist who expects you to get everything "right," one hundred percent of the time and leaves you feeling like a failure when you (inevitably) don't. If you struggle with an inner perfectionist, here are five strategies for moving it out of your way. 1. Separate yourself from your perfectionist. YOU are not your perfectionist. However, if you’ve been applying all-or-nothing standards for a long time, you might feel like you are. Spend some time stepping back and observing your behavior. Get familiar with the perfectionistic thinking. Notice where it comes up and what the consequences are when it does. 2. Label it. Start thinking about “that unhelpful inner perfectionist” or whatever name you want to give this way of thinking that gets in your way. Acknowledge it to yourself whenever you see it—“there goes that unhelpful perfectionistic thinking again.” This is different than “I’M doing it again.” Remind yourself of tip number one. Your inner perfectionist is an it and is NOT you. It’s simply a way of thinking–which you can change. 3. Make a list of all the ways that your inner perfectionist is not helpful or the examples of how your perfectionist has made or can make things worse. Don’t forget to include the guilt and shame that usually comes with listening to an inner perfectionist (because we never measure up). 4. Create an alternate mantra. Come up with a short, sweet message that you can use when the perfectionistic thinking chimes in with “you screwed up” or “you failed” or “now you blew it.” This must be a message you believe to be true. It may be as simple as “nobody’s perfect” or “trying to be perfect is not helpful to me.” 5. Give yourself permission to encounter your perfectionist over and over. Don’t fall into a trap of expecting to be perfect in vanquishing your inner perfectionist. You’ll have success—sometimes—and sometimes you won’t feel so successful. But over time and practice, it gets easier. Really. Feel free to reprint on your own website, newsletter, blog or message board as long as you include the following: Melissa McCreery, PhD is the founder of Enduring Change Coaching and creator of the Emotional Eating Toolbox ™ 28 Day Program and the Weight Loss Winner's Circle. Get free information, tips, and strategies for taking control of emotional eating at http://www.emotionaleatingsolutions.com.

Creating change isn’t automatic and it isn’t always easy. However, it DOESN’T need to be a struggle. Join me for a free teleseminar where I answer your questions about how to take unnecessary struggles out of making healthy lifestyle changes. Learn how to have more fun and increase your motivation while avoiding the “helpful” mindsets that will sabotage you every time. Click here to sign-up or learn more! Melissa McCreery, PhD, CMC, is a Psychologist, Certified Personal Coach, and the founder of Enduring Change Coaching, a company dedicated to helping clients worldwide thrive while they create lives that feed their cravings. Regarded as an expert at helping women enhance their self-care and create powerful change, she specializes in showing her clients and readers how to let go of what isn’t working so that they can move forward with clarity and purpose. Dr. McCreery has specific expertise in emotional eating and overeating and creating effective, individualized approaches to long term weight loss. Her website is Enduring Change.

Creating change isn’t automatic and it isn’t always easy. However, it DOESN’T need to be a struggle. Join me for a free teleseminar where I answer your questions about how to take unnecessary struggles out of making healthy lifestyle changes. Learn how to have more fun and increase your motivation while avoiding the “helpful” mindsets that will sabotage you every time. Click here to sign-up or learn more! Melissa McCreery, PhD, CMC, is a Psychologist, Certified Personal Coach, and the founder of Enduring Change Coaching, a company dedicated to helping clients worldwide thrive while they create lives that feed their cravings. Regarded as an expert at helping women enhance their self-care and create powerful change, she specializes in showing her clients and readers how to let go of what isn’t working so that they can move forward with clarity and purpose. Dr. McCreery has specific expertise in emotional eating and overeating and creating effective, individualized approaches to long term weight loss. Her website is Enduring Change.

Announcing my first free teleseminar of 2009 This year, my theme is THRIVING and I picked a topic to reflect it. Join me for a free teleseminar: Lighten Up: how to have more fun and increase your motivation as you make healthy lifestyle changes Creating change isn’t automatic and it isn’t always easy. However, it DOESN’T need to be a struggle. I encourage you not to miss this call where I will answer your questions and address your concerns about how to take the unnecessary struggle out of making healthy lifestyle changes. Learn how to have more fun and increase your motivation while avoiding the “helpful” mindsets that will sabotage you every time. The teleseminar takes place February 25, 2009 at noon (Pacific), 3pm (Eastern). If you can't attend, don't let that stop you from registering. The call will be recorded and registered participants will receive access to the class recording after the call. If you've never attended a teleseminar before, it's easy. You'll just dial in on the phone number you will receive when you register (you are responsible for any long distance charges) and when prompted you'll be given an access code to enter. To register, and for more information, go here. Hope you can make it. Melissa Melissa McCreery, PhD, CMC, is a Psychologist, Certified Personal Coach, and the founder of Enduring Change Coaching, a company dedicated to helping clients worldwide thrive while they create lives that feed their cravings. Regarded as an expert at helping women enhance their self-care and create powerful change, she specializes in showing her clients and readers how to let go of what isn’t working so that they can move forward with clarity and purpose. Dr. McCreery has specific expertise in emotional eating and overeating and creating effective, individualized approaches to long term weight loss. Her website is http://www.enduringchange.com.

Perfectionism is a very tempting trap to fall into. For those who are prone to it, the idea that it is possible to get everything “just right” is a very seductive standard to shoot for. The truth is, trying to get it (whatever IT is) “perfect” can make emotional eating, or whatever you are trying to take control of, much worse. Perfectionism leads to all-or-nothing thinking. To our inner perfectionist, it’s either perfect or not good enough. If we didn’t get all the checks in the box, our inner perfectionist tends to believe we “blew it” and anything we’ve accomplished is instantly erased with one mistake. An all-or-nothing approach to weight loss will sink weight loss efforts fast. It’s simply not possible to be “perfect.” Is perfectionism getting in your way? Here are five ways perfectionism shows up with eating and weight loss: 1. Do you wake up in the morning thinking “today is a fresh start?” Lots of us love a new beginning, but that feeling of starting over often includes the idea of “getting it right this time.” When we think this way, we run the risk of not taking credit for all we have accomplished and learned so far. 2. Does your newest approach to eating fall apart because you did something “wrong” and feel your efforts were ruined? That’s your inner perfectionist. Perfectionism doesn’t include the message that there will be rough patches and missteps, and doesn’t offer a plan for dealing with them. 3. If you deviate from your plan for your eating, do you react by overeating even more? That’s not logical, it’s perfectionism and it is incredibly common. It’s usually not the first step off your food plan that leads to weight gain or plan failure, it’s the eating you do once your inner perfectionist tells you that it’s “hopeless” because you’ve “failed.” Actually, you ate something you hadn’t planned to and you go back to your plan, you WILL make progress. 4. Do you have expectations for “ideal eating” that are so unrealistic or rigid that you could never imagine sticking with them for a lifetime? Or—do you begin to feel deprived just thinking about how you “should” eat? Your perfectionist is setting you up. 5. Are you plagued by perfectionism in other areas of your life? This is another way our sneaky perfectionist can sabotage weight loss and trigger emotional eating. If we get wise and learn to let go of our perfectionism with food, our perfectionist may still maintain a rigid hold in other areas. When our perfectionist is doing the judging we are NEVER good enough. No job is EVER absolutely complete, and we are NEVER allowed the satisfaction of feeling great about what we accomplish. Coping with an inner perfectionist—whether it’s negatively judging our work, our parenting, our housecleaning OR our health is enough to bring out the emotional eater in most of us. Feel free to reprint on your own website, newsletter, blog or message board as long as you include the following: Melissa McCreery, PhD is the founder of Enduring Change Coaching and creator of the Emotional Eating Toolbox ™ 28 Day Program and the Weight Loss Winner's Circle. Get free information, tips, and strategies for taking control of emotional eating at http://www.emotionaleatingsolutions.com.

Do you turn to food when you feel stressed or overwhelmed? Does a bad day at work send you off track with your eating or exercise plan? Does an out-of-control to-do list leave you craving chocolate? There are ways to avoid the stress eating/emotional eating trap. Here are three straightforward strategies you can try. 1. Know that you ARE a stress eater This one sounds like a no-brainer, but it’s an important tip. If you are someone who turns to food in response to stress, it’s an important fact to respect about yourself—because it allows you to understand what might be going on and once you understand and take it seriously, you can intervene. If you know that stress leaves you fantasizing about a trip to the office vending machine, then the next time that urge hits, you have the opportunity to work backwards. Instead of heading off, quarters in hand, on auto pilot, you can stop and examine what might be going on that is leaving you feeling--not really hungry--but stressed. As you get practice at asking yourself this question, you might even find that you start to refine the word “stress” even further. Over time, you might find yourself asking really specific questions like, “What feels out of control right now?” “Why am I feeling overwhelmed?” or “Is anything going on that would contribute to my feeling anxious?” 2. Put some other tools in your toolbox The benefit of step one is that it allows you to ask different questions. Instead of asking yourself, “How can I stop eating these Cookies?” you are able to target the real trigger for your hunger and ask yourself about what you really need to address the stress. For this, you are going to need a different set of tools. Emotional eaters use food as a strategy to cope with emotions. While this might work as a temporary band aid, eating never solves the real problem. Focusing on what and how much to eat doesn’t address the stress you are feeling at all. As you get clearer on what the situations are that lead you to stress eating, you can begin to ask yourself what you can do instead of turning to food. Know that at times of overwhelm, our ability to problem solve is not at its best. Make a list in advance of as many strategies you can think of to help you with stress or overwhelm. Keep it handy. It’s one thing to know that you want to eat in response to stress. It’s another to have some ideas about what to do INSTEAD. 3. Be prepared Too many of us take the ostrich approach to stress and overwhelm. Sticking our head in the sand, or “not thinking about it” never keeps the stress from happening. Practice identifying the potentially stressful situations before they hit. Make a note of upcoming events or times that have the potential to be difficult and spend some time on the front end strategizing about how to handle them. If you are truly facing a situation that is out of your control, identify some strategies (in advance) that you can use to comfort yourself, distract yourself, or to cope with the difficulty. Feel free to reprint on your own website, newsletter, blog or message board as long as you include the following: Melissa McCreery, PhD is the founder of Enduring Change Coaching and creator of the Emotional Eating Toolbox ™ 28 Day Program. Get free information, tips, and strategies for taking control of emotional eating at Emotional Eating Solutions.

Could your motivation use a boost? Is your weight loss / healthy lifestyle routine getting boring? Does your current plan seem destined for failure? Join me for a free teleseminar: Four strategies to reignite your motivation and momentum: Create a healthy lifestyle and weight loss that lasts Join me, for a fun and motivating teleseminar where I'll share my expertise on creating lasting weight loss by re-energizing your motivation and momentum–just in time for the New Year. I’ll cover: • Ways to create a healthy lifestyle you WANT to live so that you can achieve lasting weight loss • How NOT to do it the hard way (and how not to sabotage your lasting success) • How to create goals that sizzle and that will keep you motivated • Strategies to insert more play and fun into your weight loss and health journey The teleclass takes place Wednesday December 17, 2008 7-8pm Eastern, 6-7pm Central, 5-6pm Mountain, 4-5pm Pacific. If you can't attend, don't let that stop you from registering. The call will be recorded and registered participants will receive access to the class recording after the call. If you've never attended a teleseminar before, it's easy. You'll just dial in on the phone number you will receive when you register (you are responsible for any long distance charges) and when prompted you'll be given an access code to enter. To register, and for more information, go here. Hope you can make it, Melissa Feel free to reprint on your own website, newsletter, blog or message board as long as you include the following: Melissa McCreery, PhD is the founder of Enduring Change Coaching and creator of the Emotional Eating Toolbox ™ 28 Day Program. Get free information, tips, and strategies for taking control of emotional eating at http://www.emotionaleatingsolutions.com

Savoring and the things you really do have to do Here's a quick coaching tip to help you avoid some holiday stress and increase your enjoyment of this busy holiday season: What are the holiday activities and rituals that you enjoy? The ones that revitalize you or give you a peaceful feeling, or that you look forward to each year? Take the time—now—to make a list of your holiday “musts.” Not the “have tos” but the “this is what makes it all worthwhile” experiences. Now (yes now!) take out your calendar and make sure you have them all prominently scheduled. Don’t just count on them to happen naturally. These “musts” are important. Your holiday joy and energy is going to flow from these experiences and the feelings they generate. Take some time to think about how you can maximize these experiences—how can you savor them fully or increase your ability to focus on them. Savoring is often the variable that makes the difference between a delightful, soul-warming experience and overindulgence. When we are savoring—whether it is savoring music or good company or your Aunt Mabel’s special recipe—we are nourishing ourselves. When we aren’t tuned in enough to savor, we’re just taking it in. We are much more likely to end up tired, over-stimulated, worn out, and with a sugar hangover. So what would it take to savor the “musts” on your list even more than you already do? Would it require blocking out more time so you won’t have to rush? Planning something in advance? Delegating? Saying “no” to some other things so you have energy to enjoy the important experience? I challenge you to take the top three experiences you selected and come up with one thing you could do, ask for, or not do that would make the experience even better. Melissa McCreery, PhD is the founder of Enduring Change Coaching, a company that specializes in helping people worldwide take control of their relationship with food, overeating and their weight. She loves to work with bariatric patients and has developed specialized programs and resources for weight loss surgery patients struggling with emotional eating. Learn more about the brand new 8-week Your Holiday Health Club program designed to help participants stay on track with food and weight loss goals while minimizing overwhelm and stress during the holiday season.

Enduring Change Coaching is pleased to announce another free teleseminar: Emotional Eating and Overeating: Three tips to help you stay on track over the winter and the holiday season It’s only September, and yet at my local warehouse club, the Halloween candy is displayed right next to the December holiday goodies. I’ve recently talked to two clients who want help with their emotional eating but are feeling like they need to put off taking action until “after the holidays.” Why? They are time-crunched and budget-crunched and feel like their priorities need to wait. I’ve seen it too often—people lose their course, get off track, and drop their helpful routines over the holiday season–then arrive at January 1 feeling stressed and defeated in their relationship with food. It really doesn’t have to be this way. Yes, it's early, but join me in learning how to be PROACTIVE so you can thrive this winter and stay on track with eating, health, and weight loss! Join me for a free teleseminar This year, I’ve been inspired to develop some powerful new resources for taking charge of the holidays. Over the next few months, I’m going to be sharing important ways to create holiday experiences and routines that work for you so that you can stay on track and keep moving in the direction you want to go. I'm going to kick things off with this free teleseminar. During the teleseminar, I'll share three of my best tips for managing your eating and your stress so that you can keep moving towards achieving your goals this holiday season. I’ll cover: • The list you should make before you even start shopping • Tips and a strategy to help you avoid mindless overeating (hint: it DOESN'T involve filling up on carrot sticks or water) • One of the biggest (and most common) mistakes dieters make over the holidays The teleclass takes place Wednesday October 15, 2008 at noon Eastern, 11am Central, 10am Mountain, and 9 am Pacific time and it will last for an hour. Register here. If you can't attend, don't let that stop you from registering. The call will be recorded and registered participants will receive access to the class recording after the call. If you haven't attended a teleseminar before, it's easy to do. You dial in on a long distance number that is provided for you (you are responsible for the regular long distance charges) and then punch in a special access code. That's all there is to it! I hope to "see you" at the seminar! Melissa McCreery, PhD is a psychologist, professional life coach, and the founder of Enduring Change Coaching, a company dedicated to helping individuals worldwide achieve their goals with weight, health, and emotional eating. She is also the creator of the Emotional Eating Toolbox 28 Day Program. Get free tips about taking control of your eating and an emotional eating checklist at Emotional Eating Solutions.

Free Teleclass Coming Your Way! After taking a summer break, I'm happy to announce that my free teleclass series is starting up again in September. The next free teleclass is on a specialized topic: Emotional Eating, Overeating, and Success After Weight Loss Surgery. If you are someone who has had weight loss surgery or is considering it, this call is for you. The teleclass takes place Wednesday September 3, 2008 at 3 pm Eastern, 2 pm Central, 1 pm Mountain, and noon Pacific time. If you can't attend, don't let that stop you from registering. The call will be recorded and registered participants will receive access to the class recording after the call. If you've never attended a teleclass before, they're easy. You'll just dial in on the phone number you will receive when you register (you are responsible for any long distance charges) and when prompted you'll be given an access code to enter. You can go here to register and when you do, you'll have an opportunity to submit a question that you would like addressed. I'll try to get to as many as I can on the call. Hope to "see" you in class! PS: Once you sign up, be sure to check your email for a message asking you to verify your registration. You won't be signed up unless you respond to that message--that's how we work to prevent spam. Melissa McCreery, Ph.D. is a Psychologist, Wellness Coach and the founder of Enduring Change Coaching. She helps her clients create and live the life they crave. She is also the creator of the Emotional Eating Toolbox 28-day Program for Taking Control and Moving Beyond Dieting. Register for her free teleclass here and sign up for a free 5 part Self-care Package Audio Course at www.enduringchange.com.

A few weeks ago I was sorting through school work and papers that came home in my fifth grader's backpack at the end of the school year and had been left in a pile. In his math folder I found this great handout: Problem-solving Top-ten List." It's intended to help students who are stuck on a math problem, but I found it to be great life advice and very applicable to eating and weight loss battles. What do you think? Top Ten Reasons For Getting Stuck in the First Place: 1. You tried to rush through the problem without thinking. We are often great at rushing into new weight loss programs and diets hoping each one will be the magic answer. Clients often tell me how they've picked programs in the past that weren't compatible with their tastes or their schedules or their preferences and that they probably knew from the beginning they wouldn't want to continue long term. 2. You didn't read the problem carefully. We don't just run into this difficulty with math problems. In many life situations, if we don't clearly understand the problem, we might choose a problem solving approach that isn't going to meet our needs. In my emotional eating programs, I encourage users to take the time to understand their unique situation. Taking the time to understand your reasons for overeating and the types of solutions that will work for you is essential to not getting stuck further down the road. 3. You don't know what the problem is asking for Again, this doesn't just apply to math problems. If we're working to solve the wrong problem, we aren't going to get anywhere. If you are struggling with emotional eating (stress eating, boredom eating, or eating when you are lonely or upset), no food plan or diet in the world is going to fix that--because it's not about the food--it's about figuring out what to do with the feelings. 4. You don't have enough information. I often tell me clients that if they feel like they aren't getting anywhere, or if they feel like they are beating their head against the wall, odds are that there is a part of the problem that isn't being addressed. The program I use with my clients devotes a significant amount of time to showing you how to collect information about yourself, about your hunger, and about your unique relationship with food so that you can solve the eating problems once and for all. 5. You're looking for an answer that the problem isn't asking for. If you overeat because you are bored or stressed or anxious or angry (or any other emotion), the problem isn't about food choice. The answer the problem is asking for has to do with finding new or better ways of responding to your emotions, your stress and your needs. The weight loss industry spends billions of dollars convincing us that if we follow a certain diet we will be beautiful and happy. Food plans don't create happiness and diets (or weight loss) don't help us cope with stress (or anxiety or loneliness or boredom). A schedule of when and what to eat (a diet) doesn't prepare us for what to do when we stop using the schedule, and it doesn't help us figure out what to do INSTEAD of eating or overeating. The truth is that diets aren't the answer for this problem. Enduring change and enduring weight loss happen when we make changes that work with our lives--not when we try to maintain behaviors that leave us hungry and grumpy and feeling like we are missing out. 6. The strategy you're using doesn't work for this particular problem. I'll say it again. Diets tell you what to eat. Often, being on a diet will increase the amount of time and energy someone spends focusing on food. Diets don't teach you how to change patterns of emotional eating or overeating when you aren't hungry. They don't teach you how to feed yourself and expand your life in ways that won't leave you feeling deprived. Users of my program and participants in the groups I run are often surprised at first by how little time they spend focusing on food. The programs I offer don't count fat grams or calories or carbs because I feel it is most helpful to target the *reasons* you feel hungry and the *reasons* you eat even when you aren't. My focus is helping you GET OFF the diet rollercoaster and put food in a much smaller place in your life. 7. You aren't applying the strategy correctly. If you've been dieting for years, it can be hard to move out of the mindsets of deprivation and of blaming yourself when the diet doesn't work (even though the diet was probably doomed to fail in the first place). Using the right tools takes practice. I find that clients initially have a hard time looking at their eating patterns and their emotions without feeling the old self-blame, shame and guilt. One of the biggest benefits that clients in our emotional eating programs and groups note is being able to stop feeling guilty and bad all the time. That's huge! 8. You failed to combine your strategy with another strategy. If we try to fit ourselves into a strategy or a program instead of finding a strategy that fits and works with our specific individual situation, we're likely to get stuck. Cookie cutter eating plans and programs are problematic because we are all different. For instance, my Emotional Eating Toolbox™ program guides you to your own answers and strategies through the work you do and the answers you provide about yourself. You are encouraged to explore a variety of strategies and choose the solutions that will work for you. 9. The problem has more than one answer. There is no ONE magic cause of weight gain and there is no ONE magic answer for weight loss. People's paths for taking control of their emotional eating will be different. Once you have the basic set of tools, you will be more successful if you learn to use them in the way that complements your personality, your strengths, your struggles, and your life. 10.The problem can't be solved. This one is tough--both with math problems and with life. Emotions and tough times are real. We might not like them but we can't just wish them away. Trying to ignore or bury emotions doesn't work well in the long term either. The truth is that there is no diet or food plan that is going to help us cope with tough emotions. If we forget about the emotional part of our eating and simply focus on the food, we're going to get stuck and we're likely to fail. And then we are likely to blame ourselves--which isn't helpful either. There ARE powerful tools that can help anybody get through the emotions and situations that they struggle with. When we learn them and practice using them it's easier to put food in its place, make choices that feel good about eating, and put more energy into creating the lives we really want to be living. Melissa McCreery, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and the founder of Enduring Change Coaching. She helps her clients create and live the life they crave. She is also the creator of the Emotional Eating Toolbox 28-day Program for Taking Control and Moving Beyond Dieting. Sign up for a free teleclass about emotional eating after WLS, learn about upcoming WLS seminars and other programs or contact her www.enduringchange.com.

Hi everyone, I wanted to share with you the following special offers that are available for the Your Next Step After Weight Loss Surgery WLS Women's Retreat on August 23, 2008: Here's the Link: Your Next Step We're offering a special coupon code. Use the code 40FORYOU at checkout and receive $40 off the registration fee! Also, while we have space, we are encouraging participants to enroll with a friend. We know that support is a crucial ingredient for success and we want you to have the cards stacked in your favor when you leave this day of rejuvenation with clarity and motivation to take YOUR next step. Having a friend who has shared the experience will help you stay motivated and accountable. To encourage you further, we are offering a special incentive. Sign up with a friend (you can both use the coupon code) then email us and let us know who you are and who your friend is. You will be entered in a drawing to win either The Emotional Eating Toolbox Program($139 value) or a Personalized Lifestyle-Yoga Workout and Private Consultation designed by Michelle Anderson, M.A.($125 value). Your Next Step We'd love to see you there! Melissa McCreery and Michelle Anderson

Hi all, Hope you won't mind my dropping in, I've been posting some articles in the "magazine" section of the site. Alex, one of the people who runs Lapbandtalk.com suggested I post about the one day event we are hosting in August in Bellingham, WA for women who've had weight loss surgery of any kind at least nine months ago. The full scoop can be found here: Your Next Step. Make sure you also click on the link and check out the spa and inn where we are holding the event. It's going to be great! In short, the retreat is called Your Next Step After Weight Loss Surgery: Navigating Your Course--A day of focus on YOU to help you map your course towards your best post-WLS life If you are a woman wls patient, nine months or more post surgery, we hope you will consider joining us for a day of self-care, celebration, reevaluation and realigning your course, goal setting, and (of course) fun. This one-of-a kind retreat will be held at the beautiful Chrysalis Inn and Spa in Bellingham Washington on August 23, 2008. During the event, we hope to inspire, motivate and help you design your next step in your weight loss surgery journey--in the company of other women wls patients. It's a day of life coaching, inspiration, gentle yoga, mind body work, relaxation, powerful goal setting, socializing and support. We have some great experiences and surprises planned. It's going to be a fantastic time. Our goal is that everyone leaves the retreat rejuvenated, with a clear idea and a plan for their individual next step toward the life they want to be living. Please check out the link for more information about the event and your facilitators. We'd love to have you join us! Your Next Step. Please don't hesitate to email if you have any questions or would like more information. You can reach me through my website: Enduring Change Coaching: Helping people create healthy lives, businesses and bodies. Thanks for taking the time to check this out. We hope to see you there! Melissa McCreery PS: Earlybird rates for registration have been extended until July 1, 2008.

Hi Ms. Mel, I sent you a private message. Hope to talk with you! Melissa

Hi everyone, We're guessing that you, like the rest of us, are being drastically affected by the rising price of gas. Everyone we know is talking about the changes they are making in their travel and their spending. We don't want the economy or the price of gas to be the reason you have to miss our powerful "Your Next Step After Weight Loss Surgery" Women's Retreat on August 23, 2008. http://www.enduringchange.com/wlsretreat.htm We still have space available, and to help you attend we want to extend a very special offer. Enter the code 40FORYOU when you register and receive a $40 discount on your registration. The discount will show up after you enter the coupon code. We hope to see you there--and yes, it's okay to share the discount code with friends. We don't want anyone to miss out! Melissa McCreery, Ph.D. and Michelle Anderson, M.A. http://www.enduringchange.com

I’ve spent a lot of time in airports lately. That means that I’ve spent a lot of time at the news stand, scanning the covers of magazines, looking for some nice relaxing reading material. In my browsing, I’ve been struck by how magazine articles emphasize making changes or starting something new. “Get in bikini shape,” "The diet that works," “Exercise programs for 6-pack abs.” You know what I’m talking about--headlines with big sparkly promises that aim to excite us about undertaking a new project. Given the appropriate level of enthusiasm, most of us are able to get motivated to start something new. It’s fresh territory, a clean slate, a new approach. Here’s what the magazines don’t talk about: successful change doesn’t happen with just a bright shiny new program. The right program is only one tool. Enduring change requires stamina. Changes that last require us to pace ourselves. It’s not just STARTING the exciting new project; it’s continuing to slog ahead when the going gets tough and when the excitement wanes. With emotional eating, stamina means having the courage to stop and ask ourselves why we are reaching for the Doritos, even on the days when we’re not sure we really want to know the answer. Enduring change requires starting the project or the program, riding the wave of any honeymoon phase we are lucky enough to experience, and then recognizing that the biggest payoff comes when the easy part stops and we start feeling stuck. It’s really true. When you hit that spot where you feel like “here we go again, this is where it all falls apart,” and you stick with it, you keep slogging ahead, you put your head down and you keep taking small steps forward--THAT’S where the big payoff happens. It's hard. Many people can’t do this alone. We have too many inner critics--powerful inner perfectionists, who talk us into sabotage and failure. This is the place where you can pay off big if you call a friend or a role model. This is one of the biggest benefits of hiring a coach. It can take courage to state that the change you are trying to make is important enough to reach out for help, but investing in yourself and investing in moving forward is a powerful step. The experience of learning how to bypass those internal critics and those old stumbling blocks is priceless. As enticing as the magazine headlines are, many times we don’t need to start over. What we need is the encouragement and the accountability and the support and the reminders to KEEP GOING. We need that voice in our ear reminding ourselves that we really truly are getting somewhere. Small steps, moving forward--that's what pays off. Melissa McCreery, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and the founder of Enduring Change Coaching. She helps her clients create and live the life they crave. She is also the creator of the Emotional Eating Toolbox 28-day Program for Taking Control and Moving Beyond Dieting. Sign up for a free 5 part Self-care Package Audio Course, learn about upcoming WLS seminars and other programs or contact her www.enduringchange.com.

“Melissa, Why do you work with bariatric surgery patients?” I’m often asked this. Clients and readers are often curious because I’m not a weight loss surgery patient myself and because I don’t have a “weight loss story.” Except that I do. My story has emerged from the stories of others. The truth is, I founded Enduring Change Coaching after years of practicing as a Clinical Psychologist. As a Clinical Psychologist, one area of expertise has been helping people with food and weight issues. Since 1995, I have worked with just about every kind of eating disorder, weight issue, and food issue an adult can have. I’ve witnessed peoples’ pain, struggles and desperation, and I’ve had the honor of sharing in their experiences of transformation (and I’m not just talking about weight)—as they found their own paths to making peace with food, resolving weight issues, putting eating and food in a much smaller place in their lives, and moving on to focusing on more enjoyable and empowering things. I developed the Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Program and run the bariatric surgery coaching programs at Enduring Change because I saw people struggling with their weight and feeling hopeless and I knew the tools and strategies that I have developed with my clients can make a profound difference. I’ve met too many people who believe that taking control of their weight and their relationship with food isn’t possible and who believe that they must resign themselves to fighting—and losing—battles with weight forever. I’ve known and worked with too many bariatric surgery patients who are stuck in a mode of self-blame. They believe they should be able to succeed with weight loss and with weight loss surgery without help or support and they blame themselves when they struggle. I’ve known other weight loss surgery patients who were never told that there are other essential tools they need to acquire and use with weight loss surgery. (Thankfully, I’m seeing less of this.) They too feel like failures when they find themselves struggling with emotional eating, overeating and weight gain after surgery. And I’ve worked with plenty of people who have had weight loss surgery, who know darned well that the procedure they had is only one tool. They know that they have other challenging work ahead of them, and other tools they will need to acquire to get where they want to go. The problem is, they aren’t sure where to get those tools. There are (in many areas) too few support groups (especially for individuals who are 12 months or more post-surgery) and not enough information about good resources. There is not enough information about overeating and emotional eating. People are quick to tell you not to overeat, not to use food to fill an “emotional hole,” and not to eat to cope with stress or boredom or loneliness. But there is not enough quality information and help out there about what to do instead. That’s been my experience. And that’s why I coach individuals and hold special coaching programs and conferences for people who have had bariatric surgery—by telephone—so anyone can attend. It’s why I periodically offer free teleclasses. Most importantly, it was one of my motivations for creating the Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Self-guided Program. Because there is too much shame and self-blame out there. And because we all are a lot more likely to succeed when we have the right tools. Melissa McCreery, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and the founder of Enduring Change Coaching. She helps her clients create and live the life they crave. She is also the creator of the Emotional Eating Toolbox 28-day Program for Taking Control and Moving Beyond Dieting. Sign up for a free 5 part Self-care Package Audio Course, learn about upcoming WLS seminars and other programs or contact her www.enduringchange.com.

Teri, I have a blog and a website that both have quite a bit of information on emotional eating. Here's the link to a post that has some of the signs and "symptoms" of emotional eating: Peace With Cake: Ending Emotional Eating: Mindful Eating: Transforming Your Relationship With Food. The other site is: Enduring Change Coaching: Helping people create healthy lives, businesses and bodies. Hope the information is helpful, Melissa

The term emotional eating is thrown around a lot, but not everyone understands what emotional eating really is. Emotional eating is eating and overeating that occurs when we use food as a way to cope with a feeling, situation, or a need that is not physical hunger. Emotional eating is eating that happens when we want to eat but our bodies don’t really need the fuel. Common kinds of emotional eating are “nervous eating,” eating when you are bored, using food as a “reward” (to feel good), or eating when you are lonely. Because this kind of eating isn’t tied to a physical need for food, it can easily cause weight gain. Here are three things EVERY weight loss surgery patient needs to know about emotional eating: 1. Many people don’t know that they are emotional eaters. How’s that? Well, emotional eating isn’t always as straightforward as feeling a feeling (“I’m anxious”) and then making a choice to eat. Here’s the tricky part. Over time, if you’ve learned to use food as a way to cope with certain feeling states or situations, your brain can stop identifying that you are eating for emotional reasons. Here’s an example. If when you’re stressed, you reach for a snack to comfort yourself, over time, your brain stops telling you, “You are stressed and you are going to try to cope with it by eating a cookie.” Over time, your brain may start skipping the emotion and move directly to interpreting that stressed feeling as physical hunger. You might not even realize that you are feeling stress. Your thinking will go like this: Something stressful will happen and you will start wanting a snack. You might even feel physically hungry. Food, not stress, will be the central thought in your mind. If you are someone who feels hungry “all the time,” emotional eating could very well be playing a hidden role. 2. Emotional eating and self-blame, shame and guilt go hand in hand. If you are feeling “out of control with your eating,” odds are that emotional eating is happening. The problem is, if emotional eating goes unrecognized, or if we don’t take it seriously, it’s easy to fall into a trap of guilt and self-blame for not being able to “stay in control” of your eating. Shame and guilt are never helpful when it comes to long term weight loss. They tend to breed isolation, negative self esteem, decreased hope, and ultimately more emotional eating and self-sabotage. If you are struggling with emotional eating and you don’t learn the tools you need to cope with the feelings, the odds are that you will continue to feel out of control with food. 3. If you don’t take control of emotional eating, it can take control of your weight loss plans. Research studies of individuals trying to lose weight find that people who eat for emotional reasons lose less weight and have a harder time keeping it off. The journal Obesity recently published an article concluding that successful weight loss programs should teach clients how to cope with emotional eating in order to improve the clients’ ability to lose weight and not regain it. The risk of weight gain is not the only reason that emotional eating is important to address. Failure to address emotional eating—using food to cope with feelings and needs and circumstances other than physiological hunger—can also contribute to difficulties with cross-addictions after weight loss surgery. If emotional eating is something that you struggle with, it’s important to know that no diet and no weight loss surgery will fix that for you. Taking control of emotional eating requires learning new effective ways to cope with your emotions. It’s not about the food. It’s also important to know that learning new tools to cope with emotional eating can be one of the most rewarding and life-changing gifts that you can give yourself. Learning new ways to cope with life issues and feelings allows you to tackle life head-on. When you do this, food becomes simpler, and your life grows bigger, and ultimately, more rewarding. Melissa McCreery, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and the founder of Enduring Change Coaching. She helps her clients create and live the life they crave. She is also the creator of the Emotional Eating Toolbox 28-day Program for Taking Control and Moving Beyond Dieting. Sign up for a free 5 part Self-care Package Audio Course, learn about upcoming WLS seminars and other programs or contact her www.enduringchange.com.

Thanks for your comments. Acknowledging and recognizing the emotional eating is an important first step AND there is a necessary second step which is acquiring and learning to use the tools to learn how to respond to it. Too many weight loss programs and gurus either don't address emotional eating or just tell participants "don't do it." This isn't very helpful in my opinion. The work, and much of the writing that I do, focuses on helping people learn HOW to take control of emotional eating. It's a process, but it's definitely easier when you have the right tools and a plan for addressing it.

Mandi, Kudos to you for seeking help. Reaching out is sometimes the hardest step. Therapy can be immensely helpful with some of the underlying issues that contribute to emotional eating. Take good care, Melissa

A huge mistake that people make as they work, and sometimes struggle, to lose weight and/or maintain weight loss after Lap Band surgery involves getting stuck in self-blame. The truth is, weight loss and changing our eating is a complicated business. When we struggle with weight loss, it can be so easy to react with anger and frustration with ourselves. Unfortunately that’s a slippery slope. Self-blame and self-criticism can seriously undermine weight loss efforts. Here are three ways self-blame can sabotage your weight loss success: 1. Self-blame breeds shame. Self-blame is different from accountability. Accountability means being honest with yourself about what you did or didn’t do. Self-blame involves judgment. I often hear words from my clients about their behavior like “weak” or “stupid” or “lazy.” These type of judgments aren’t helpful, are rarely accurate, and always breed negative self esteem and shame. Shame is the most isolating and one of the most painful emotions we can experience. When we feel shame, we feel bad. We feel like there is something actually wrong with us and we may even want to be invisible. We don't want anyone to see either our shame or ourselves and we may avoid connecting with others. We want to disappear. What makes this even more problematic is that shame is very difficult to pull yourself out of on your own. Feelings of shame can be very powerful and very limiting. Solid support is one of the most important tools for success whenever we are making any major change and shame causes people to isolate, avoid others, and miss out on the support they can provide. 2. Self-blame and shame cause us to lose perspective. When we blame ourselves and get lost in shame we also tend to lose perspective. If we believe that the problem is "us," then it becomes easier to believe that we are alone in our struggles and that no one else will understand. One of the biggest mistakes a Lap Band patient can make is assuming they are alone in struggling or having questions or difficulties after weight loss surgery. When we struggle alone and blame ourselves, a problem that was originally small can quickly become much larger. I have worked with far too many weight loss surgery patients who have avoided support groups because they are afraid of being judged or are embarrassed to admit they are struggling. Because they are stuck in shame and self-blame, these individuals miss out on learning that they are not alone. They miss out on learning about the strategies and resources that others have discovered or developed. Connecting with others is an incredibly powerful tool and shame can prevent us from using it. 3. The heaviness of shame and the weight of self blame interfere with successful weight loss. In fact, getting stuck in self-blame might be the biggest trap that Lap Band patients can get hung up in. When people hit a rough patch with their eating or their weight loss surgery lifestyle and they are trapped in shame and self-blame, they can get very, very stuck. Instead of taking a step back, evaluating why their plan failed, and looking compassionately at what they need to tweak in order to be successful, people stuck in self-blame beat themselves up emotionally for their past failures and commit to being tougher or harder on themselves, or more rigid and strict the next go-round. This can be a big mistake. When we stay stuck in self-blame and shame we limit our ability to be curious and to think creatively. We become less able to look at a situation objectively, identify what didn't work or how we got into the trap that we did. When we are stuck in shame and self-blame, our minds are less likely to work to create some new options, modify our plan for next time, or generate ideas about how we can be more successful. Self blame tends to leave us with only one option--"just try harder." Unfortunately that's not often a very helpful approach. Learning how self-judgment and shame can get in your way isn't always all you need to change it. Have you ever tried to stop being hard on yourself? It's really not so easy. It takes practice, persistence, and the right tools. It can also be very helpful to have the support of another person or a group who can see past your shame and self-blame and help you move out of it as well. Many weight loss programs don't address shame and self-blame at all, and even fewer provide the necessary tools and skills to help you move past it. This is unfortunate, because moving past self-blame and shame is crucial for creating enduring success (and enduring weight loss) after weight loss surgery. It's challenging work, but once you start to develop the right tools and you are able to step outside of that self-blame, it's absolutely amazing how much easier some of the other steps towards success can be. Melissa McCreery, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and the founder of Enduring Change Coaching. She helps her clients create and live their very best lives and specializes in helping weight loss surgery patients maximize their success after surgery. Melissa is the creator of the Emotional Eating Toolbox , a 28-Day Self-Guided Program for Taking Control of Emotional Eating and Moving Beyond Dieting. Learn more about the programs she offers and register for a free five session audio e-course, at her website: www.emotionaleatingsolutions.com Copyright 2008 - Melissa McCreery, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

Hi Kathy, I'm so glad you find the article helpful! Take good care, Melissa