Born in Missouri

@jrsone. Does your wife have a history of pre-surgery swallowing difficulties? I ask because there are some conditions that affect swallowing. I have Hashimoto's thyroiditis which can interfere with swallowing. It takes more effort than usual for me to drink all of my protein shakes because of this. https://www.cedars-sinai.org/health-library/diseases-and-conditions/h/hashimotos-thyroiditis.html Has she had her thyroid checked? I have less difficulty swallowing soy and coconut milk. Water, for some reason, seems to be the hardest to get down.

I've had 100+ hours of therapy at http://mocsa.org a few years ago. I was of "normal" weight then. My weight gain took off after I fell down some steps and mangled my right ankle. I had one unsuccessful surgery on it. Later, two ankle reconstruction surgeons told me there was nothing more they could do. I was sedentary and very depressed after that. It doesn't help that I have an autoimmune thyroid condition. I'm not suggesting that more therapy might not help me but a sedentary lifestyle really derailed my ability to walk or do much in the way of weight-bearing exercise. It's been 10 years since I injured my ankle. Morphine is the only thing that even gets close to taking the edge off the pain. (And I tried many other non-narcotic meds first, plus holistic treatments. My PharmD daughter finally explained to me that being dependent on a narcotic for actual pain relief is different from being addicted to a drug when no physical malady is present.) Taking 300mg of morphine per day doesn't give me a "high"; it just helps me move around without writhing in pain. I also take oxycodone for breakthrough pain. Believe me, nobody WANTS to rely on powerful meds like these. It's weird to say, but I often welcome competing sources of pain (gallbladder surgery; lipoma removal, or even my knee replacements) to help keep my brain confused about where the pain is. I expect my bariatric surgery to be no different. There's nothing that my surgeon can do to my body that can overtake the pain I live with everyday. Boo-hoo me.

@LouisaLatela When I clicked the link to your website, I ended up on a NOT FOUND page. I was looking forward to learning more about some self-nurturing rituals.

@Orchids&Dragons . Uh, you're not getting away with a comment like that without more elaboration. What organs?! Some are more vital than others, of course. I've had my gallbladder removed. Is that one of yours?

@AshAsh1. You are such a sweet person. Very eloquent and compassionate. The way I see it, people like you are the gift.

It's hard to imagine feeling comfortable with the full-faced person I see when I look into the mirror. Maybe the eating patterns are a comfort, maybe hiding behind clothes that envelop me like a tent are a comfort, but seeing my reflected image is not. Looking in the mirror or being photographed are always avoided.

How did others come up with their goal weight? Where did this number come from?

@Orchids&DragonsI've already had full knee replacements (in both knees, done three months apart) and my metatarsophalangeal joints or MTP joints in my big toes fused together. Osteoarthritis.

It's a nice feeling not to feel envy --but to feel happiness!!-- for others who are further along in their journey -- if only by a few days... On the day I'll be heading to the hospital (Wed 6-13-2018), I have to drink some ominous-looking drink called pre-Surgery ENSURE clear nutrition drink. "Arctic Chill" no less. @iwanttoseemytoes. Hoping you see your toes and that you reach all of your goals.

I'm curious about the co-morbidities of others here. Some may be relieved by bariatric surgery (C-Pap use, for example; pre-diabetes, etc.) while others will likely continue because they're hereditary or medication-induced. Here are a couple of mine: 1. Secondary Generalized Hyperhidrosis https://www.sweathelp.org/pdf/drugs_2009.pdf 2. Hashimoto's Thyroiditis https://www.thyroid.org/hashimotos-thyroiditis/

@Amanda403 Thinking of you and your husband today-- the day of your surgeries with Dr. Nicole F. I've got two days to go myself before my own surgery. The liquid diet has been a lot easier than I imagined. Giving up diet DP has been the hardest part. Having mixed emotions about everything, but feeling like I now have a safe place to share my worries, woes, and future successes. I never imagined that a community like this would help me. It has. I'm immensely grateful for all the kind words so far, and look forward to repaying those kindnesses when I get further along in my journey. Thank you to all who have shared a word or two with me.

@MidwestGirl, I met my surgeon once -- months ago-- during a screening / basic info appointment. I've been told that he's a terrific surgeon. I didn't click with him initially, however, because I prepared a list of perhaps 6 questions and he only answered the ones he wanted to answer. I noticed that he purposely tucked my questions out of sight in my file. One of the questions he didn't answer was about the malabsorption of various medications. It seems to be a sensitive topic for some doctors because they don't have much in the way of research to rely on when patients ask for this information. This is an important topic, I believe, so I intend to post updates (with the help of my daughter) when I discover something new in the professional literature. Perhaps I should open a new topic heading for this information or is there already a heading for this subject? (I'm still trying to figure out how to use this site, so I don't know how to search for this.)

@mylighthouse. I can see why you're a Bariatric Evangelist. Thank you for such an eloquent explanation of your experience(s). Your advice about putting trust in your surgeon's experience was extremely valuable. For those of us with histories that involve a breach of trust and betrayal, it does take courage to trust people with any measure of power over us.

Why are some of the words in my post now capitalized and underlined? What's up with that?

I'm starting my 1-week pre-op liquid diet on Wednesday, June 6, 2018. I am so ready. I've stocked up on various protein replacement powders. My favorite is vanilla goat's whey that I mix with soy or coconut (unsweetened) milk. I have been eating less and less leading up to today, so I feel prepared. I haven't had much of an appetite anyway --mostly because of the summer heat. My daughter, the pharmacist, also suggested that I combine my goat's whey with another protein powder that contains digestive enzymes and various vitamins. She also explained to me that so-called bariatric vitamins are really just a marketing thing. What's important is the bioavailability of the vitamin source. Centrum® vitamins, for example, are often referred to as "bedpan bullets" (by nurses mainly) because they run right through most of their patients without being absorbed. What a waste of money, too. Knowing what I'm up against with my upcoming malabsorption challenges -- not just iron or certain B vitamins but also some medications -- makes me eager to keep myself up-to-date on how best to nourish myself. By the way, very little research has been done concerning the possible malabsorption of many medications. Yes, extended-release meds, and meds that have receptors in the duodenum and jejunum are a problem, but little is known about most meds. Certain antibiotics are no longer effective, such as azithromycin, but the list of known meds that gastric bypass patients might have issues with is short. After completing all of my -- what I refer to as my insurance company's -- "fat-shaming requirements", my surgery was authorized in less than a week. The insurance company says that it typically takes 4-6 weeks, conservatively, for authorization, but my case seemed to be fast-tracked. I think it was because I was a squeaky wheel. I contacted an advocate who was not affiliated with my insurance company, and he helped me circumvent various gatekeepers who were erroneously giving out misinformation to potential bariatric candidates. (Apparently, the insurance company had mixed up my plan with another plan that had no bariatric benefits). My former self might have given up after being told that I had no benefits, but because I knew better I kept pursuing the matter. The advocate thanked me for bringing this mix-up to the surface so it could be corrected. That made me feel really good to know that I helped myself and potentially others. I still wonder if anyone who inquired about their bariatric coverage before me gave up after being rejected initially. It feels good to be my own self-advocate now. The power! The power! Sorry for rambling. Sometimes it helps to vent. I also hope I didn't come across as a preachy know-it-all. Because of my kids' and my own medical background, I sometimes have a hard time filtering myself... and we all know annoying people who can't curb their info flow. Again, sorry.

Sosewsue61 asked me to write something about myself. In no particular order of importance: I have a free-flying aviary with 20 uncaged parakeets. I keep their area clean and full of stimulating amusements. I enjoy their unconditional companionship. My newest additions are five weeks old, raised from blind and naked to happy and healthy. At four weeks, a parakeet is fully-feathered and ready to fly... and mine did. I'm married and have four adult children. My daughter is a doctor of pharmacy, and two of my sons are medical doctors (not bariatric surgeons, though!). My youngest son -- the "smart one"-- is pursuing a non-medical career. I have a medical background, too, but my actual occupation is one I can't mention because then it would be easy to figure out my identity. It's strange... but when I wrote in my topic headline about having no friends, I meant face-to-face friends. I have fans all over the world, but they know me ONLY based on my public persona. Because of past scary-creepy stalking behavior, it's no longer safe or a good idea for me to open myself up to my fans directly. It really is possible to be known by thousands of people, and still be horribly lonely.

I love this! You go, girl.

Being a survivor of childhood sexual abuse (impregnated at 12), I managed to overcome many buried years of trauma. I keep telling myself that I can do this, too. It feels good to have power now, particularly after having a long history of it being denied to me. Those pedophilic bastards! I'm encouraged by the kind words of support so far. I hope at some time soon (in this forum) I will be able to be more a giver-of-support and less of a taker-of-support. For now, though, I will allow myself the guilty pleasure of "receiving" until I can reciprocate, in a genuine way, all of the kindness offered me.