Born in Missouri

I've never been knowledgeable about bra-buying either. I don't want to spent much and I rather hate the idea of looking like I have booby assets that I do not. I'm not terribly troubled by the lying aspect about it, but I do feel uncomfortable walking around with a flat chest with an ill-fitting dumpty-lumpy garment that doesn't even look natural. Looking foolish is worth than appearing flat chested. Would anyone be able to recommend an inexpensive bra that doesn't look like a Madonna reject? I've also hated the feel of wearing undergarments, period. If I had my way, I'd go totally commando but I find it trashy to wear a dress without a proper slip. Go figure.

I'd love to hear this doctor's explanation as to why a sleeve is a good idea for someone with a GERD history. Pushing for a procedure contraindicated by a co-morbidity makes me suspicious about whether your best interests are being considered. It's sad that some doctors exploit patients to match their medical shortcomings. Run don't walk to another surgeon. What are your current doctor's qualifications exactly? Make sure you make an appointment with an experienced bariatric surgeon. (I'd make a recording of his/her explanation to play for the second doctor!)

Oops. I meant "taking" my lisinopril and Metformin, not "making". I'm not Walter White.

I stopped making my lisinopril/HCTZ (blood pressure) immediately. The same for Metformin (pre-diabetes). My CPAP after a few weeks. I'm still on my benzodiazepines, anti-depressants, and pain meds (morphine). I never had to substitute a liquid form for any of my many horse pills. I took big pills right out of the gate and never had a problem. I've heard that's not the case for everyone, however, so I'd be prepared to consult with a pharmacist to find out if other forms exist and then follow up with your doctor to make changes, if necessary. My daughter is a PharmD. If you send me a list of your meds, I can ask her what other forms they come in for you.

I would say that I'm in the same boat by I'm not doing anything about it. I figure that my body is working things out and that eventually I'll lose weight again. Many things have not returned to "normal" for me: sense of smell/taste; appetite; amount that I'm able to eat (very little still); not sure about my continued hair loss. The thing that I find most distressing is the change in my bowels. I have very little holding power (going #2) and have had my share of accidents, both in my pants or right on the kitchen floor. It's humiliating. What am I to do when all of the bathrooms are occupied and I "have to go"? I now keep several pots and pans at the ready, but it makes me wince thinking about pooping in a pan because I can't hold it. I've also had accidents when I've been out and about. I'm not aware of it at first, then I notice an unpleasant wetness and I realize that I also smell bad. More than once, I've gone straight from the car into the shower. I also keep a large towel in the car to protect my seats. If this keeps up, I might consider diapers when I go out. Sheesh.

I've mentioned my body dysphoria several times and it's been over a year. I still find myself lurking in the 3x-4x plus size section even though I can easily fit into an XL (sometimes an L). I can't seem to stop searching for my next "fat uniform". I've never been a tight, form-fitting kind of gal, but the "tent look" is definitely hard to give up. I have a difficult time accepting flattery and continue to doubt those who say, "You look great." I just don't see it. It's not my batwings or lose skin as one might suppose, it's just my overall self-outlook. I'm not stupid. I know I'm different. I know I probably look different, too, but I just don't know how to deal with the new me without wondering if maybe it's just a dream and I'll eventually wake up 300lbs again. I haven't thrown away any of my fat uniforms (or given any of them away either; I don't believe in discarding perfectly good clothing that can be resold at a thrift shop to benefit some cause.) My dietitian offered to make a dog bed blanket out of my "favorite" fat uniform, but I never dropped it off for her to repurpose.

https://www.healio.com/endocrinology/obesity/news/online/{f3310425-6e99-4f54-af2b-f2880853ab9b}/medication-costs-lower-after-bariatric-surgery I stopped taking Metformin (for "pre-Diabetes) and my blood pressure medication immediately following my surgery. Accept for pain medication (unrelated to my WLS) and anti-depressants, I take no other meds.

https://www.cardiovascularbusiness.com/topics/lipids-metabolic/new-criteria-extend-eligibility-bariatric-surgery "The American Society for Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery’s latest publish as a step in the right direction for patients who are obese but might not meet current criteria for bariatric surgery. Right now those criteria, which are three decades old, are “arbitrarily” based on a patient’s body mass index and don’t account for other confounding factors. “Too many see obesity as a problem of willpower, and it’s simply not,” Brethauer, a co-author of the new guidelines, said in a statement. “Patients must participate in their care by making healthy lifestyle changes, but the most effective treatment is often surgery, and that should be an option for patients who would benefit.”

A hug from another Missouri person. Yea!

An article about this guy's case. What a sicko. Never really seemed to take responsibility for his actions. Had an excuse for everything. That probably contributed to his jail time. http://www.mainlinemedianews.com/mainlinetimes/news/lower-merion-weight-loss-doctor-arie-oren-found-guilty-of/article_c395ab72-593c-59cd-8064-46138e0c85dd.html

I think I'm having an especially rough day today. I can't quite put my finger on the source. Maybe the source isn't important. I'm trying my best to be positive, to forgive myself for little things that I could have made better choices about, to remember that I matter as a person too and that my well-being also counts. Sometimes I just need to hear that someone else cares, and that if the person could... they'd reach across this online forum and give me a much-wanted and much-needed big hug. IN NEED OF A HUG ABOUT NOW.. and remember not to crush me, since I'm a smaller person (125lb less) with a less cushioned body. Don't worry about crushing my boobs though, since they have all but disappeared.

So, this guy is probably out of jail by now. Lost his license. A registered sex offender. As it is with cases like this (I have a long history of childhood sexual abuse, including a miscarriage at age 12), the victims' lives are affected forever. Yes, I had many years of therapy including support groups. Yes, I know the shame and blame is with the perpetrators, but that fact doesn't always sink in during intrusive flashbacks or other times of emotional distress. PTSD doesn't just disappear the day the molester is released from prison.

Thanks for the backstory and update, Alex. I was afraid of inserting gratuitous anxiety into whatever is already an emotional time for people considering weight-loss surgery. Unfortunately, scumbags like this exist in every profession but it's particularly egregious when it creeps into a supposedly trusted doctor-patient relationship.

I'm too old and too "done" with trying to be anything other than healthier. My boobs are deflated and saggy to China. My bowels still seem to have very little holding power. I've lost track of the number of times I've left a feces trail to the bathroom or lost my load right on the kitchen floor. It's as if my bowel muscles don't exist or all the rejiggering has shortened my "holding tank". I'd love for someone to explain the anatomical changes with my bowels. After one year, leaking is still a problem. And the smell. It's nothing like I've ever smelled. It's almost like it's not fully processed and comes out before the necessary flora or enzymes have had a chance to break things down. Bleach is a necessary standby. I feel like an incontinent old dog or something. It's humiliating. Should I consider wearing a diaper when I go out? I now keep a big pan under my bed so if I can't get to the bathroom in time (or it's occupied) I have a place to go other than the floor at my feet. It's a feeling like know other. I can relate to other people now, like my mother with dementia, who has her fair share of accidents. The shame I feel is hard to get past. I've started seeing a therapist. Amazingly, she has a history of her own... a mini-bypass sixteen years ago. It's nice to have someone understand my continuing body dysphoria, my bowel leaking, boob disappearance, etc.-- that on top of everything else going on. It's actually the "everything else" that creates the most distress in my life but I try to tell myself that we all have mountains of stress (just different circumstances) and I can get through this and more and be a stronger person for it. Anyway, I'm trying my best. This site is the one place for me to continue venting, even after one year. It's a place of peace and non-judgmental acceptance. I don't know how many times (particularly in the beginning before and right after my surgery) when someone like Matt Z, AlteredRealty, Frust8, GreenTealael, FluffyChix and many others... who came to my rescue with good advice and much-needed empathy. I've needed you all less as time goes by, but when I do need someone... someone is always here. That is a feeling that has no monetary value. This site is invaluable to many of us for so many reasons. Thank you to all who have cared about me or helped me selflessly in big and small ways.

It happened to me, too. Boo-hoo.😪 Two sets of jiggly batwings. Saggy upper arms and freakishly saggy boobs. After four pregnancies and so much milk that I donated gallons to a milk bank... I got nuthin' now. To "celebrate" my amazing new silhouette, I've stopped wearing a bra. I mean, what's the point? And really... I might as well go out and get myself the same training bra I had when I was 11 years old, the one with the little pink rosebud in the middle.

My problem was a bit different. If you read my profile you'll understand that I'm a chronic pain patient (#CPP). https://www.bariatricpal.com/profile/341190-missouri-lees-summit/ This manufactured opioid hysteria has created a nightmare for people who once had a tolerable quality of life. The forced tapering and abandonment of CPPs by doctors is a disgrace. I follow a twitter dialog with other CPPs. Suicides among people forced to live in pain are increasing at an alarming rate. https://twitter.com/DanLairdMD https://twitter.com/ThomasKlineMD https://twitter.com/ravensspirit68 https://twitter.com/reversechapter

I found one of those studies here: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2017/oct/31/acid-reflux-drug-linked-to-more-than-doubled-risk-of-stomach-cancer-study

Oops. Hit the reply button twice. Why are we unable to delete a newly-written post altogether?

I just reread my initial reply to this thread. Wow, was I riled up. Sort of wish I knew how this all turned out. Does anyone have another story about not speaking up and allowing someone to get away with making them feel small and unprepared?

I have no friends in real life. I was so embarrassed about my weight that I shut people out. Now I find myself, hesitantly, seeking out others who might understand me. I'm hoping this is the first step to feeling better about myself and loving myself. To punish myself for being fat, I wear the same green dress every day, everywhere. I call it my FAT UNIFORM. I hope to retire my uniform on the day of my bypass surgery on 13 June 2018. My dietitian has offered to covert it into a blanket for her dog's bed. She insisted that symbolically I needed to discard my uniform because of what it represents/ed.

We started our journeys at about the same time and shared the same starting weight. You have been such an inspiring and supportive influence on me, AlteredReality. You are a beautiful woman, inside and out.

I finally replaced what I now realize was an unrealistic goal weight. I don't know why I chose 130lbs but it no longer seems right for me. I've given birth four times and have lots of loose skin that I did not have when I was a young, thin thing. My surgeon and I agreed that 150 is more realistic and attainable. I see my surgeon in August. I think those last 30lbs might be my hardest but I'm not going to stress myself out over them. All in all, the pounds have just fallen from me with very little effort. My hair is still thin and I'm practically flat-chested now. I'm okay with it. I'd rather be flat-chested than one of those big inflated parade floats.

I'm approaching my one-year anniversary since my bypass. My life has changed drastically. I have more energy than I every imagined possible. I wear actual clothes (L or XL), and not fat-lady uniforms from the 4X plus-size section. I still have some body dysphoria. It's often hard not to see myself as still FAT. Others instantly see a different person, but I have a harder time. My face is lean, and no longer pasty and puffy. I do have batwings, which are a constant reminder of what was once a much fuller arm. Skin hangs in folds around my legs and thighs. I'm okay with the skin, actually. I've always dressed modestly and I prefer long dresses. The trick is to stop wearing overly baggy clothing and wear instead clothing that is a little more body contouring. All in all, it has been an amazing journey and I would encourage anyone thinking about this procedure to SERIOUSLY consider it. It has changed my life for the better. I'm no longer the lonely, depressed person I was when I started this post. People CAN change, and I'm one of those people now.

I can't remember the last time I weighed myself. The only time I feel comfortable weighing myself is when I believe my bowels are empty.